This is the closest I will ever come to writing smut. You know, I'm almost ashamed at having written this. You have my permission to gouge your eyes out after you read this. Disclaimer applies.

Sex

Riza stood in the kitchen one morning, cooking eggs for her and Roy's breakfast. The early morning sun shone in a slant through the window, illuminating the small space. Everything was silent except for the occasional chirping of birds and the sizzle of the eggs as they cooked.

Suddenly, a yawn sounded behind Riza, and a pair of arms slipped around her waist. "Mornin', Riza," Roy's voice sounded in her ear, lazy and slow.

Riza smiled. "It's about time you're up. Hope you're hungry." She scooped the eggs off the skillet and put them on two plates.

"Aw, you didn't have to do that," Roy said.

"Sir—I mean, Roy—you need to move so we can sit down and eat." Riza pulled against his arms, trying to break free without spilling the food. It was still awkward for her to address him by name, since they had only been married for a few months now. "Seriously, Roy, this is childish, even for you."

"I'm not really hungry, if you catch my drift." He pulled her even tighter against him and kissed her neck suggestively.

Riza sighed, clearly not impressed. "Shut up and eat your breakfast. I didn't stand here working while you were sleeping so that you could reject my meal." However, in spite of her words, she made no attempt to escape. Instead, she placed the plates back on the counter. She turned around in his arms and smiled evilly at him. "You're so needy."

Roy grinned, sensing a victory. "But that's why you love me, right?" He let go of her and started walking back toward the bedroom.

"Don't push your luck." Riza said, following him. They entered the bedroom, and Riza quickly stripped down.

"Hey now, that's not fair!" Roy protested. "That's supposed to be my job!" Riza shot him with a glare that immediately made him stop talking. She walked over to him and pushed him down on the bed, a malicious glint in her eyes.

"Stop complaining, Mr. Impatient. You are getting what you want, after all." Before he knew it, she was straddling his face, commanding, "Okay, since you're so eager, get to work." It wasn't exactly what he had in mind, but nevertheless, he gladly obliged.

Wait, put the spoon down! I didn't mean it! YOU NEED YOUR EYES!