Hello Lady and Gentlemen Readers, this is your author speaking: (sorry I always wanted to say that)

Let me start by saying that I hope you had a wonderful holiday! I also want to thank you because if you're reading this then you've read this far and I appreciate anyone who reads my work. I also want to gently remind you that I love reviews, even if they're just one liners, like "I think you don't have Reid's character quite right," or "Your syntax needs work." Whatever it is, I'll be delighted to read it.

So if you don't mind, please come out of lurkdom...just for a little while and tell me what you think so that I can improve my writing. Just so you know this is my first fanfiction ever, and I want to write more in the future.

Thank you,

Stephanie

Paige

Two weeks went by. I didn't hear anything from Spencer or from Derek. In other words, I was miserable. Every day was a torture of wondering. I wondered whether they were back from their case and if they'd made it home safe. I wondered if they were both back safe and sound and just forgot about me. Mostly I wondered if my spontaneous date with Derek had caused Spencer to decide not to talk to me.

My internship was both wonderful and awful. They were finally letting me do actual work, like proof-reading articles before they were sent to the editor and they had even promised that I would get to write my own story sometime in the future. The problem was that I wasn't at all happy with anything going on in my life. For some reason my life just wasn't complete. I went to work every day with a heavy heart and bags under my eyes. I just didn't enjoy my internship like I should have been.

One day during my lunch hour I was sitting outside on a bench under a tree just trying to absorb the sunshine. I leaned back and propped myself up on my hands. I closed my eyes and felt the sunshine on my face, trying to keep some of it for myself. I felt the bench next to me settle under someone's weight, and I opened my eyes in surprise. Sitting next to me was Penelope Garcia.

"Garcia," I said in surprise. "What are you doing here?" I watched in amazement as she picked up a sizable picnic basket and started handing me food. I sat stunned as she gave me a plate of cookies and a platter of sandwiches.

"I'm here to see you, pumpkin," she said cheerfully. "Steve told me that you have been down in the dumps for the last week and a half and the best way to cure that is with delicious food, hence why I'm here." She took out a bottle of whiskey and set it on the table. "And if the food doesn't work, the whiskey will do the trick." I wanted to giggle but I settled on a smile.

"Garcia, this is wonderful but you didn't have to do this," I said.

"Oh but Chicky I did. I also have something to tell you." She opened up the whiskey bottle and held it out to me.

"What? No! I'm at work I can't drink." She held out the bottle more firmly.

"Trust me darlin', you're gonna need this." I hesitantly took the bottle and took a shot from it, then put it back in her outstretched hand.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Eat a cookie," she said holding one out to me. I was fed up at this point.

"No, thank you," I said firmly. "Please just tell me what you came here to tell me." She sighed.

"Reid and Morgan were acting weird around each other at the beginning of the last case. They weren't talking and weren't focusing on the briefing. So...Agent Hotchner told them that if they want to keep their jobs...then neither of them can ever contact you again." It took a moment for the impact of her words to hit me. When they did it was a painful blow. My eyes filled up with tears and I turned away, trying not to let Garcia see.

"Oh, sweetheart don't cry," she said soothingly. "Maybe this is for the best." I looked at her incredulously.

"How?" I asked.

"Well this will give you a chance to find a man that isn't off on cases every couple days and one that will put you as his first priority and not serial killers. The men in the BAU aren't usually lucky with love because the women they love want them around." I nodded, wiping tears from my cheeks.

"I guess you're right," I said. "But I was willing to overlook that for Spencer." Garcia looked shocked.

"You were going to choose Spencer?" I nodded. "Not that stone cold fox that is Derek Morgan?" I shook my head.

"He is a very nice guy...and very attractive," Garcia snorted at my understatement. "But Spencer and I have a connection I've never had with anyone else. I'm worried I'll never find that with anyone else."

"Do you love him?" asked Garcia. I shrugged.

"I haven't had the chance to find out," I said sadly. Garcia looked sympathetic and patted my arm. She handed me the plate of cookies.

"Eat these," she counseled. "Cookies always make things better." I tried to smile and took them from her.

"Thank you for coming here and telling me Garcia," I said. "It would have been worse not knowing." She packed up her picnic basket and left. I nibbled on a cookie and wondered what I should do. Should I go back to the life I had before I met those two agents? Should I fight to keep them or would they be better off without me? I went back inside to my job confused and overwhelmed.

I worked hard for the rest of the day, even though I was physically and emotionally exhausted. The editor I was interning for could tell something was wrong. He came up to me as I was leaving.

"You worked hard today," he said. "Even though I can tell you aren't feeling well. Why don't you take tomorrow off?" Not wanting to argue, I just nodded and walked out to the parking lot.

The next day I woke up and something had changed in my mindset. The first part was that I had actually slept well for once, probably just out of sheer exhaustion. As I lay in bed with my eyes closed I contemplated what to do. Part of me, and it was a small part, wanted to pack up and head back to Maine. Part of me wanted to stay and just finish my internship and try to forget about Spencer. However that seemed just as unappealing. Suddenly, I realized what I wanted to do.

I got up and took a long hot shower, which calmed my nerves and relaxed my tense muscles. When I got out I styled my hair, blow drying it into big waves. I applied my makeup with extra care and slid on a black pencil skirt, a white shirt with ruffles on the front, and black kitten heels. When I was ready I grabbed my purse and caught a cab. I told the cab driver the BAU's address and it didn't take long for us to get there. The entire drive I was second guessing myself, wondering if this truly was the best course of action.

I got out and paid the driver, then I took out my press pass and took a deep breath. I squared my shoulders and walked into the building, trying to look like I owned it. It worked mostly, I didn't get any questioning looks except from the security guard, who checked my press pass and then let me in. It took me some looking around to find the BAU department, but find it I did.

I breezed through the glass doors separating it from the main building. I walked right through the main lobby, trying not to notice that Prentiss, JJ, Derek and Spencer were all watching me walk by, utterly bewildered.

"Didn't Hotch tell you not to contact her anymore?" I heard Prentiss murmur to Derek.

"I didn't," I heard him say, sounding surprised. I walked up the stairs and down the hall to Agent Hotchner's office. I knocked sharply on the closed door, and he opened it after a moment.

"Can I help you?" he asked. I cleared my throat.

"Agent Hotchner may I have a word with you please?" I asked, hoping my voice didn't shake. I showed him my press pass as explanation. He looked over my shoulder.

"I don't usually talk to the press," he said. "Your boss must know that. What makes you think I'll talk to you?" My heart was pounding so hard that I was shaking.

"Well," I stuttered, "My name is Paige Stewart." I stiffened my spine and looked him in the eye. Sure, the man could intimidate serial killers, but I wouldn't let him intimidate me. He hesitated, looking over my shoulder, I'm assuming at the agents in the lobby who were probably still watching me.

"Come in," he said, stepping back and holding the door open. I walked in and sat down in the slightly uncomfortable chair across from his desk. "You aren't really here as a reporter are you?" he asked, sitting down across from me and smoothing his tie. I shook my head.

"No, Agent Hotchner. I'm here to talk to you man to man...so to speak." He didn't even crack a smile. I cleared my throat and continued. "It has come to my attention that you have forbidden both Spencer and Derek from contacting me or else they will lose their jobs."

"That is correct," he said. "However, I'm wondering how you came to know this." He raised his eyebrows at me and I blushed, but persevered.

"You told Derek and Spencer that they couldn't contact me," I said. "You didn't say anything about the rest of the team." This time, I thought he did crack a smile, but only for a moment.

"So why did you come to see me today?" he asked. "Did you think you could change my mind?"

"Actually I just came here to tell you that the best chance Spencer has at happiness is with me. So I wanted to tell you that by forbidding him to contact me you've basically guaranteed that he won't be happy for the rest of his life." I stood up and brushed off my skirt preparing to leave. I turned toward the door.

"Wait," said Hotchner. I stopped and looked back over my shoulder. "You really think that Reid will be happy with you?" he asked. I nodded. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers, obviously thinking. "He deserves to be happy," he said, thinking out loud.

"Yes he does," I said softly. He looked at me, as if assessing me.

"You realize that he won't be home all the time," he said. My heart lifted.

"Yes, I know," I said.

"He's always going to put his job first," he warned me. "That won't ever change." He looked very concerned about this. I assumed it was a personal problem he had dealt with.

"That's what I admire about him," I said. "He saved me once. How could I keep him from saving lives?" He nodded, as if to himself.

"Well...who am I to come between the two of you?" he asked. I smiled and had to stop myself from jumping up and down in happiness. "But there are conditions," he said. "You have to promise not to come between him and his work, and not to leave him solely for the reason that you resent his job."

"I promise," I said sincerely. "Is that what happened to you?" He looked at me again, I assumed with his profiler eyes. It felt like he was x-raying me emotionally.

"You're very perceptive," he said, sounding surprised. I shrugged.

"That's what Spencer says," I commented. He seemed to smile again. He stood up and walked around the desk. He extended his hand, which I shook.

"Well I wish you two the best of luck," he said. "I hope that you can pull him through the dark things he has to witness." I nodded solemnly. Suddenly I felt a strange urge, and despite my better judgment, gave in to it. I stepped forward and hugged him gently. I could feel his surprise in his tense muscles, but after a moment, he hugged me back.

"Thank you," I said genuinely. "You won't regret this." Then I stepped out of the hug, opened his office door and walked out of the building, past the agents who were staring after me like I had three heads. I smiled as I pushed through the glass doors. Hopefully all was now right with the world.