Smash Skits
Note: I do not own the Smash Brothers series or any characters from it. However, I do own this fic, and FINALLY my own copy of the game! Of that, I am happy at last!
Now it's time for a two-fer! A personal outburst of mine, and a burstastic viewpoint from Synapse X.
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(Chapter 14.1: Agents...)
"Are you ready to do this, Colonel?"
"No, but I already owe you for getting my head out of the toilet, so I guess I have no choice."
-scene change-
Captain Olimar was in the garden, looking at the beauty that was Peach's miniature flower meadows. He caught a sight of a pretty red-petaled flower, sniffed it, loved the scent, and immediately uprooted it, revealing a purple Pikmin.
"HOLY SHEET!" The tiny man astounded himself. "You fellers are so rare to find naturally!"
And so he pretty much uprooted all of Peach's flowers, transforming them into a veritable rainbow of Pikmin.
"Today, this garden..." Olimar nodded with glee. "TOMORROW THE WORLD--"
"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
The tiny, tiny man turned around to see an anguished, raging Peach behind him. Her aura was fiery and venemous, and her eyes, glowing white with waterfall tears streaming down her face. She had all the reason to be flaming pissed at Olimar: he had turned her beautiful garden into his own miniature army.
"My... flowers..."
"Uh-oh..."
"I'm going to BEAT YOUR ASS!!"
Olimar was practically with his back against the wall; scared, and sure that he'll be dead five times before he hits the soft dirt, he resorted to his base instinct:
"HEEEEEEEEAAAAAAALLLLLPPP!!"
-scene change-
"You guys owe me big for this..." Colonel Roy Campbell shook his head in disbelief for what he was about to do. "Agents, are... GOOOOOOOOOO!!"
-scene change-
From the front of the Smash Mansion, came the sound of three warp pipes shooting out of the ground, which in turn shot three people out. Dressed in black suits, black shades, and microphones, Sonic, Mario, and Snake appeared in the nick of time, dropping down inbetween Peach and Olimar.
"HEY!" Mario cheered. "MISSION!" He held up a card that said 'Trouble Blooms! Fight for destiny, Explorer!'
"I've always wanted to do this!" Sonic smiled widely.
"I gotta admit: this IS fun!" Even Snake couldn't help but find that playing as the Elite Beat Agents were so fun.
And as the strange music began playing (it's actually September by Earth, Wind, and Fire), Peach and Olimar couldn't help but let go of their rage and/or fear, with grins covering their faces, their hands in the air, swaying their arms and bodies like they just don't care. Even the Pikmin started mimicking Olimar's actions, getting lost in the groove.
And then the three of them turned to them, and let loose all hell! "Are you ready? 3, 2, 1, GO!!"
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(Chapter 14.2: Shootout)
There's the flashy Smash Mansion, filled to the brim with plumbers, beasts, princesses, bounty hunters, Pokemans, kids, a hedgehog, a spy, and even a great evil.
And then there's a small nook outside the Mansion, with a smaller building there, merely called "Assist HQ." Not many know this, but this is where all the people who are summoned via the Assist Trophy items reside. None of the characters there really stay attached to this place, and are quite often free to come and go as they leave. "Refuse none who enter, pursue none who leave" was the motto. The motto didn't really fit, since Crazy Hand built this place, and he reads too much manga.
One could see the Hammer Brother polishing his hammer nicely before trying to hit on Lyn, while Little Mac couldn't take another word of Andross's jim-blabbery, so he pummeled him repeatedly, resulting with cries of mercy from the large gray piece of graphics. Waluigi could grumble all he want about not being a main character, but Samurai Goroh would just chop him repeatedly. And Mr. Resetti would lecture the Nintendog on why it's important to wear clothes.
Down in the shooting gallery, a bored Saki, Shadow the Hedgehog, and Isaac were just lazing on the lounge seats there.
"I am so bored..." Saki said, his voice muffled by sofa cushions.
"Hmph... pathetic lifeforms, this is going to drive me off my end." Shadow simply seethed.
"Wanna have a shooting contest?" The blond, non-wizard here asked.
The black hedgehog growled. "Oh, just because my game had guns in it, you just automatically assume that I'm an expert at using them? YOU MAKE ME SICK!"
"So... ya wanna?" Saki asked again.
"...Yes."
So the human and the hedgehog got the firing range guns in hand, ordered the human targets to be placed at about fifty feet away from them, and with some kind of starting buzzer, the two had began. Both of the competitors fired at the same time, wasting their clips at the same speed, and shot off competitive glances at each other. When the targets returned back to them, it had turned out that Saki Amamiya's shots were more into the center of the target than the Ultimate Lifeform's shots for his.
"Hmph. Impressive, for a human." Shadow one-lined.
"Your's are pretty close to mine. That's actually kinda cool!" Saki smiled, before loading two more fresh targets onto the gallery. "Care for round two?"
"With gusto."
And the targets were once more returned to the back of the gallery, before they started unloading bullets into it. But before the last bullets were unloaded, the tiny little Robo, Ray MK I, flew straight into the gallery, triggering its "Shoot-em-up" Mode, and started unloading lasers and missiles all over the place. Isaac dashed back upstairs, while Shadow and Saki had to keep dodging left and right, to avoid any complete injuries.
The results came back: Saki and Shadow got three of their shots dead center, and three in the head center. Ray MK I had destroyed all the reserves of targets, as well as Saki and Shadow's pride.
Isaac only looked on, thinking to himself about the strange piece of nonsensical trivia he had seen earlier that day. In his mind, he recalled it with clarity.
"Chuck Norris once challenged Vin Diesel to an arm-wrestling contest. Mr. T won."
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