ON THEIR WAY TO FIX IT
CHAPTER 13 : REALISING SOMETHING - JANUARY 6TH-8TH, 1984
ENNIS POV
Ennis looked at his watch and sighed.
Looking at it every four damn seconds isn't gonna make time run faster, Del Mar.
January 6th.
Friday afternoon.
Still 3'15.
Still about 3 hours to work.
Still about 5 or 6 hours - he guessed - before Jack would arrive.
He had realised last month that – on the contrary of what he had been expecting - actually knowing when Jack would come wasn't making the wait any better. He knew there always came a moment when he would turn more jumpy each time their next trip would approach, of course, but this time ... it had felt worse. He guessed it was because he had known it wouldn't be as long as usual. That seemed to have been working on his nerves. Making something shorter feel longer, way longer, in a strange stupid way. He had felt like a teenager waiting for the school year to end, counting down the days, his pride saved only by the ridiculous fact that he hadn't been actually red crossing the days on a calendar - for what it's worth, huh. And now, counting down hours, minutes ... more like seconds ... Hell, he was worse than a teenager. And he couldn't mind. Only thing he minded about was that the time was NOT running as fast as he wanted it to.
He went home, showered and then cursed himself for having already double-checked and prepared everything the day before, 'cause he had now then nothing left to do and keep his mind occupied, and he still had at least about one hour to kill. It was going to be a damn long hour, for sure.
Ennis was pretty certain Jack would arrive around the same time he had last time. It made sense, knowing Jack. It wasn't really late, but it was late enough after work to let Ennis some time to ... well, just wait, it seems. Ennis wondered how it would feel to come home one day and find Jack already there ... to come home to Jack ... That surely wouldn't feel wrong ... Yeah, maybe he should ask Jack to stop being so considerate all the time ... He decided against it though. After all, he kinda liked that about Jack too. Dumbass. He sighed. Of course, he liked everything about Jack anyway.
He turned the TV on. Not that he really paid attention on what was on the screen, but it made some background sounds. Silence was only making it all worse. He kept though of course focusing on any noise he could hear from outside. And finally, at 8'39, he heard Jack's pick-up parking. He nearly knocked the TV down when he turned it off on his way to the door. He heard the footsteps coming to an halt at his frontdoor. Then, for a few seconds, there was nothing to hear, and he wondered if Jack was still hesitating about knocking or not. Soon though the sound of a key pushed in his lock came to his ears, and Ennis couldn't help but smile.
Then the door opened, and at last, there was his Jack, a bag on his shoulder and a mischievous grin on his as always too handsome for words face.
"Hey, there."
JACK POV
Jack was finally at Ennis's frontdoor. He knew he shouldn't knock. Ennis had made pretty clear last month that the only reward from knocking would be that door pushed back closed right on his nose. He smiled to himself. Ennis never really needed to talk, indeed. Jack then used his key, opened the door and couldn't help but grin, seeing that Ennis was there, leaning on the wall facing the door.
"Hey, there."
Got you good, Cowboy. Got you good.
Finding Ennis just behind the door meant it all, as always. Knowing Ennis had been waiting, waiting for him, and had probably sort of run to the door at the first sound of his pick-up taking the turn. (Not that Ennis actually run, but Jack knew that, by Ennis's standards, it was running as fast - maybe even faster - as an athlete winning the 100m finale at the Olympic Games ...) Of course, Jack hadn't been able to see him running this time, but he knew he had anyway. Jack had seen his Cowboy "run" to him often enough, trip after trip, to know that Ennis always run to him. And, Ennis being Ennis, only to him.
"Hi. Give me that."
Automatically, Ennis extended his hand towards Jack, as if unable to resist the urge to touch him, now that he finally was able to. Jack understood that need all too well, he felt it too. Jack handed his bag to Ennis, then went in and closed the door while Ennis turned once again all considerate on him, asking if he was hungry, or beaten after the long drive, bringing on Jack's lips that dreamy smile, the one which Jack didn't really seem to be able to get off his face nowadays.
And then, finally, Jack heard the damn "Come here" which always made his insides twitch and found himself pinned against the door as Ennis started kissing him wolfishly. Jack surely didn't mind. As long as it was Ennis doing the pinning, Jack would never complain about being pinned. Against a door, a wall, a tree, a pick-up, a kitchen counter, cold tiles, hard ground, soft sheets ... it really never mattered ... Only things that mattered then were his world spinning, spinning, spinning, and Ennis as his only steady anchor. That burning in their veins, that everlasting fire, whose embers just never grew cold but waited, for as long as needed, knowing one sight, one touch, was always all it took to ignite them again with renewed vigor. That sparkling magic, that irrefutable electricity between them, which had never faded with the years, and which Jack knew without any doubt just never would.
ENNIS POV
"You hungry?"
"No thanks, I ate on the way."
"Tired?"
"Not really. Could have been worse. Wasn't crowdy today ..."
Jack was smiling in that damn irresistible way which always made it so damn hard for Ennis to keep himself in check. Then the door was locked, and Jack was turning back towards him.
"Long day though, huh?"
They held each other's gaze, reading the same truth in brown and blue.
You bet. Long days. Long nights.
And knowing it was now safe, Ennis couldn't wait any longer. He dropped the bag, whispered his usual "Come here", push-walking Jack one step or two backwards until he hit the door, and finally dived between Jack's already parted lips.
They kissed, long and deep, only sounds in the house their mingling ragged breathes echoing around them, Ennis feeling Jack's hands run strongly up his sides then dig in the curls at the back of his neck, pulling him closer still, while his own hands locked on Jack's jawline, tilting Jack's head the usual little bit up, their firm grip whispering in silence their usual secret.
Missed you. Missed you. Missed you.
"Rodeo."
Nibbling at Jack's ear, one hand sliding down until it settled firmly on Jack's waist, the other roaming on Jack's chest until it came to rest above Jack's heart for a little while, his head turning even dizzier at the quickening strong beats he could feel right under his palm. Nuzzling in Jack's neck, breathing Jack in, in, as his right hand resumed its travel down Jack's side until it found his waist too. Pressing Jack further into the door, his fingers gripping Jack's waist hard for leverage, as he went to ravish Jack's welcoming mouth again.
"Rodeo."
Missed you. Missed you. Missed you.
Unable to say it all, but knowing Jack heard it all anyway, and knowing Jack felt exactly the same way, as Jack met him as always with a force matching his own, hands digging hard in his neck then in his lowerback.
Jack's rasped voice in his ear as they started to grind harder against each other.
"Feels like someone isn't tired at all here, Cowboy."
Ennis should have blushed. But he was already too far gone, too intoxicated. Hearing those words only spurred him further, making him think of something Jack had told him at Don's. And Ennis was wondering if he should go along with it or not. He realised though that if he got it right, it would turn Jack wild - you mean wilder - for sure ... And if he got it wrong, well, it would at least make Jack laugh, so, either way, Ennis decided it was worth the try.
"You bet. (smirking) Been castrating a few calves, so ..."
The brainshocked, oh-my-god look Jack gave him was funny.
"When did you turn into such an evil tease?"
But Jack sure didn't look like he was finding this funny.
Guess I'm doing it right then.
(shrugging) "Must be you rubbing off on me I guess. (his voice then low against Jack's ear) Feels good by the way when you do that, you know."
He heard Jack gasp and felt him involuntary jerk towards him.
"What, Rodeo? (smirking) Want a foot massage?"
Jack grinned his wicked smile as he started pushing him backwards towards the stairs.
"Tsk tsk tsk. A foot massage? Really, Cowboy, you should know by now ... I'm not that easily satisfied ... "
Jack then attacked his mouth again, pushing him up the stairs.
"So, go on, Cowboy, show me what you got. I'm sure there are plenty of places you could massage, besides my feet ..."
And well, there were, and Ennis took his time rubbing them all.
JACK POV
Jack awoke in the early morning, his eyes on the ceiling. He was lying on his back. He didn't need to look to know that Ennis was lying on his side against him, the weight of Ennis's arm sprawled all across his chest said enough. He took some time just looking around. The white walls glowing in the morning light. Their clothes discarded all over the floor. The shirt he had left here in November was still hanging on the chair ... It seemed it had stayed there all along. It surprised him - he had imagined it would be neatly stored in Ennis's closet or something - but in a really sweet way. His eyes traveled then on Ennis's nightstand, and his breath caught in his throat. There was his postcard. The one he hadn't needed to send, but had needed Ennis to have anyway. And it was framed.
He realised then that Ennis was awake, as Ennis's fingers started brushing back and forth softly where they laid, just under his shoulder. He realised that Ennis must have been awake for some time already too, the gesture was just too regular to be an awaking blurry one. And he realised too that Ennis didn't need to look either to know exactly what Jack was looking at now.
"Thanks for that, by the way."
Jack knew he was probably not going to get more from Ennis, but he didn't need more anyway. No point in stating the obvious after all. His postcard was fucking framed. A few seconds went by, in shared silence, both of them laying still except for Ennis's fingers still brushing back and forth at the same place.
Jack's eyes finally resumed their exploration of the room, and fell on the nightstand's open drawer. Jack started to laugh. He tried to keep it in, but he couldn't.
Damn. What I would have given to have been a fly on the wall that day ...
Ennis's voice still sounded somewhat sleepy.
"What's so fucking funny, huh, Rodeo."
Jack only laughed harder.
"You really wanna know?"
From Jack's tone, Ennis seemed to understand that he probably shouldn't want to know after all.
"Huh. Guess not. Forget I ask."
But Jack of course couldn't let this pass.
"Too late."
Jack moved then, stretching a bit until he took the lube in there, and grinned back at Ennis.
"I just still can't believe you bought THAT."
Ennis by now looked completely sure he shouldn't have been curious, averting his eyes and blushing that shade of red which always made Jack's heart melt. His voice was firm though as he answered in that oh-so-Ennis-like don't-mess-with-me grumpy tone.
"What's so special about that, huh. You buy it too."
But it only made Jack's heart melt further and Jack's grin grow wider.
"True. But I don't need to drive four towns away and buy the whole shop as a camouflage to get it, which I'm pretty sure you did."
"Very funny, Jack."
Same grumpy tone.
Jack kept smiling but nudged softly Ennis's elbow and asked more seriously.
"Come on, Cowboy. I'm dying here."
Ennis still didn't get his eyes up, but Jack could see he was starting to grin too. And when Ennis started to talk, the tone was somewhat playful now.
"Well, I didn't bought it here, all right. But you're wrong about the rest. I didn't buy the whole shop. Just some razor blades, and soap. Garbage bags. And one magazine over horses. That's it."
Then Ennis looked up, and there was definitely a little grin on his face.
"I asked for something else too, but they didn't have it."
Jack grinned.
"Spill it all."
Ennis smirked.
"I asked for the Playboy."
Jack started laughing hard enough to fall from the bed.
"What? God, Ennis ... that's not just funny ... that's ... priceless."
Ennis was now laughing too.
"Yeah. Well, figured it would make it easier if I got the shop people just as embarrassed as I was. That poor young boy, guess he didn't pay attention to anything after that. And if he registered I was blushing too, he must have thought it was because I was embarrassed about embarrassing him, so ..."
"My, my, ain't you the clever guy, huh ..."
"Guess I have my moments."
When their laughing subdued, Ennis seemed to be thinking further, but – unfortunately for him - aloud.
"A shame though they didn't have it. Would seem strange if I went back there, knowing they don't have it ... Now I'm gonna have to look for another place with an innocent poor boy as cashier ..."
Jack started to laugh again. He knew Ennis would never embarass a poor young girl with that question, and he wondered how many shops Ennis had first entered before finding the right kind of "victim" to go along with his plan. All that trouble, just for THAT ... just for me. It was sweet. In a very funny way, but it was sweet.
"Ennis, why don't you just let me take care of the shopping, all right?"
The look Ennis shot him, part ashamed, part relieved, but part hurt that Jack thought he wasn't really able to get it touched him though. His voice turned a bit more serious again.
"Hey, I don't mind. Just don't want you to get an heart attack over this one of those days is all ..."
Jack knew Ennis was all right when he played as if that last bit had been a joke and kind of crawled closer again.
"You're in a funny mood today, ain't you, Rodeo ..."
And Jack realised maybe he was, 'cause he still couldn't drop the whole subject. He grinned mischievously.
"You have no idea ... Let's see ... (grinning) You could remind me to "bring something to read". (chuckling again) Come on, that's a nice code you got here."
Ennis shoved him in the rib playfully, smirking.
"What is it with you and codes lately, Jack Fucking Twist? Are you developping a James Bond obsession I should get concerned about?"
Jack this time didn't laugh. He just got closer, smirked back and told huskily.
"Nah. I wouldn't notice James, even if he knew how to wear a cowboy hat ... Funny you mention that though. After all, you're the one who started all the coding, you know ... Our "fishing trips"? Our "thing"? Guess I should be the one asking you that question."
Their lips were now only inches apart.
"Jack."
Ennis's tone was kind of husky too now. Jack though couldn't help but playfully imitate his Cowboy as he moved closer still.
"Ennis."
Ennis's eyes flashed upwards in that so endearing you-are-so-annoying-but-not-really way, the one which was usually accompanied by a playful sigh. Ennis didn't sighed though this time. His hand found the back of Jack's neck and brought Jack's head closer.
"Just shut up now. Please."
Jack though pushed his head backwards again and grinned when he met Ennis's gaze.
"Make me."
Ennis's eyes turned that shade of amber which always zinged right through Jack's spine.
"Any chance I get that grin off of your face too while I'm trying."
"Don't know ... Is the Boss around?"
"You bet he is."
Ennis hurled himself on top of Jack, and pretty soon achieved his goal, as that grin indeed disappeared from his face and got replaced by diverse kinds of enraptured begging little moans and crazy silly little comments Jack knew Ennis craved hearing.
When they were spent, Ennis didn't roll to lay at his side but just slided a bit down and stayed on top of him for a while, kissing Jack's back then resting his head upon it.
"Guess there is something I said though which turned out not to be a code."
It was whispered, and Jack recognised the tone. It was the one Ennis used on some very rare occasions, after some really amazing sex, when he seemed to be willing to talk sweet nonsense. Usually, those promising opening sentences were all Jack got, and he was never sure if Ennis even meant for him to actually hear them or if he was just thinking aloud, talking to himself. But his Cowboy had changed somewhat on that matter since their week at Don's in November, and Jack wondered if Ennis this time would go on. He guessed though Ennis probably felt more comfortable talking to his back than to his face, and just kept laying still, waiting.
ENNIS POV
Ennis came gradually back to his senses after his peak. Jack's cries of pleasure still echoing in his ears slowly replaced by their mingled heavy breathes. Jack's scent and his own mixed now strongly, surrounding him with their scent. His Jack under him, all hard lines but smooth skin, glistening with their sweat.
Ennis inhaled it all deeply, brushing his nose against Jack's back, licking a tiny trail down from the back of Jack's neck 'till the middle of Jack's back, ending with a quick soft kiss there and finally laid still for some time. Jack never seem to bother about his weight on him after all, and though most of the times Ennis didn't authorize himself to cuddle, he always enjoyed it when he surrendered to his affectionate moods. This time was no different, being all curled up against his Jack giving him as usual the peace of mind he never could achieve on his own.
His mind traveled back to their last words. Jack was right, he had been the one starting "coding". He realised though in a flash that after all, the first thing he had said about it turned out afterwards to be not a code but the simple truth, and though it wasn't what he had meant when he had said it all those years ago, it felt now just ... right.
He felt Jack somewhat tense briefly under him, and realised he must have been - again - thinking aloud. Jack though didn't move or uttered a sound. Ennis knew that it was probably not the first time, and that it would probably not be the last time. He wondered though how many times he had left Jack silently hoping for more. And he wanted to make it up to him for all the times he had, somehow. He whispered it out.
"One shot, Jack. One shot."
It's you. It's always been you. It will always be you. Only you.
He felt Jack wanted to turn and lifted his weight a bit. Jack's eyes met him, bright and clear, in that shade of dreamy blue, and Jack smiled, that secret little smile, and Ennis knew that Jack once more had heard all he couldn't say as Jack's hand came on his face, brushing his thumb above his lips then on his cheek, whispering back softly those two little words.
"One shot."
Then mischief again appeared on Jack's face as he brought Ennis back down against him.
"Well, that old bullet of yours could use another trip heavenwards. Come on, Sniper ... We both know you never miss."
Ennis chuckled but pressed himself more firmly on top of him.
"Jeez, you ARE in a funny mood today."
Jack just started grinding their lowerbellies together, hands digging in Ennis's butt. Ennis went to kiss him, and his last thought before the world vanished was that if this was his reward for turning into a romantic sweet talking fool, he sure shouldn't mind about becoming a fool anymore.
They took their time, strong but lazy slow strokes and thrusts for as long as they could, holding each other's gaze. And in the end, Ennis whispered those two words one last time before losing himself in the furnace of Jack's body as he had been losing himself in the blue pools of Jack's soul.
JACK POV
They stayed in bed all morning, until Ennis joked about them seriously needing to clean up and sent Jack jokingly to take a shower - alone, unfortunately. Once out of the bathroom, Jack grabbed his bag - which had once more been forgotten in the hall the evening before - and went back upstairs. Ennis brushed past him on his way to his own shower, arms full with tangled sheets.
Jack came back in the bedroom and seeing the bed freshly made just made him think about how nice it would be to make a mess of it. But Ennis seemed to have other plans then, and Jack wondered what they were. He dropped his bag near the chair, then took fresh clothes out. That's when he noticed ... something.
Beat me.
The shirt he had left in November was still hanging on that chair, but he had been wrong about something when he had first seen it this morning. He took it in his hands and held it close, checking if what he thought was true. Then he smiled. Oh yes, his shirt hadn't been just hanging here all this time. It wasn't smelling like his shirt at all anymore. There was definitely Ennis's scent all over it. Ennis's usual soap and shampoo, Ennis's sweat. Ennis had wore his shirt, often enough and long enough to erase any lingering trace of Jack's scent and imprint it with his own.
Damn, Cowboy. What is it with us and shirts?
Jack though stopped himself from relishing on the moment too long, got his jeans and his socks on quickly and went downstairs, deciding he could finish getting dressed later on. He really wanted to start to prepare their lunch while Ennis was still in the shower. Ennis changing the sheets was kinda cute, but he shouldn't have done it alone. Jack knew his Cowboy just couldn't help but try to have everything perfect, but Jack wasn't in some hotel, for Christ's sake. Jack wanted Ennis to stop nurturing him. Jack didn't want to be treated as "a guest" here. He knew too that it was in fact what Ennis wanted too, since Ennis had made him use his key to get inside in November ... Thinking back on that moment always made Jack smile dreamily. Yeah, Ennis was better at showing than at explaining ... Well, it works both ways then. So Jack decided he was going to make a real mess in the kitchen, cook something eatable enough for them both, then clean it all on his own. That should make his point, right?
ENNIS POV
When Ennis got out of the bathroom with his jeans on, he could hear Jack busy in the kitchen. He smiled. He went to the kitchen and nearly laughed at the exaggerated mess on the counter. He smiled wider. To himself and about himself.
Dumbass. Told you you were doing too hard your best. You ain't some damn nurse to him, you know...
"What's that, Rodeo? Planning to poison us both?"
Jack turned to face him and pointed to him with the knife in his hands.
"Well, I guessed if I can survive your cooking, you must be able to survive mine."
Then he resumed his cooking.
"It's not ready yet, so feel free to get dressed and all."
That's your cue to NOT ask if he needs help.
The show though was too nice to miss - his Jack, chest naked and hair still wet ... There was just no way Ennis would leave the kitchen now.
"Well, guess if you can stand the fresh air, then so can I, huh."
And he just sat at the table. Jack watched him as he sat and smiled. Ennis smiled back. Moments later Jack handed him a plate. They ate, then Jack started to clean. Ennis waited a few seconds, to make Jack understand he had got the message, then started to help, and Jack let him. They ended with Jack cleaning the dishes and Ennis drying them, something he usually never did - after all, it all got dry enough on itself on the counter, right - but well, it was a good reason to stick around his Jack.
As he dried the last fork, Ennis tried to sound as neutral as he could as he decided to do something he wasn't in a hurry at all to do, but something he still felt like he really needed to do, and the sooner the better, probably.
"Wanna go for a beer or something?"
Jack was stunned silent for a bit, and Ennis just focused on the fork some more.
"Sure."
Ennis didn't need to look at Jack to know he was smiling.
They finished to prepare themselves quite quickly. Ennis was of course the first ready. Now that he had decided to do it, better get it done before he chickened himself out of it. Jack first had been acting somehow slow, surely letting Ennis enough time to back off eventually, but Ennis had shot him a glance which had made him understood that he wasn't about to change his mind - even if he wanted to - and Jack had finished then more quickly. Then, just before they got out of the room, Jack nudged him.
"(seriously) Just one or two beers is enough, all right. (smirking) And I'll behave."
Ennis liked that the most, maybe. The way Jack just always seemed to feel exactly what he needed or wanted ... It was though what had nearly condemn them both, and Ennis knew that he shouldn't count on this alone, that he should too force himself to talk, or to show what he couldn't tell. Ennis knew that he should let Jack know he felt it too. He had learned that lesson the hard way, and he wasn't going to forget it. Not ever. He held Jack's gaze.
"Thanks, Bud."
Then he nudged back, smirking too.
"You better, huh."
Jack looked like he was going to make a smarty silly comment again, 'cause he grinned, but finally decided otherwise and just kept silent.
Ennis felt it again, then. That connection between them, which he never had felt with anyone else and which meant it all. That connection which he could have definitely lost, only a few months ago, if he had held on his scared stubborn proud usual self. So yes, he had been right. Swallowing his pride had been more than worth it. And he knew he would be forever grateful towards Jack, for coming back to him. In '67, in '75, and this last November. Thrice. Well, three times the charm, right ... Ennis swore to himself Jack would never have to come back to him again. Because Ennis would never push him away again.
"Let's go."
JACK POV
Ennis seemed so tensed, like an elastic going to snap. It was nearly funny. Jack didn't felt like joking aloud though. To be honest, Jack just wanted to soothe his low startle point Cowboy, not madden him further. Not at that moment, and not about what they were going to do. They had been together in public just once, on their way to their first fisching trip, breakfast and lunch. It had never occured afterwards, and they had never talked about it, but Jack had always felt it all had to do with Ennis's usual fears. Fear that "that thing between them" would be too obvious. Fear that it wouldn't be safe. So, he knew how difficult this was for Ennis. And he knew Ennis was doing it to make his point to Jack. Showing Jack that he wanted to try, at last. And that in itself meant enough already.
"Just one or two beers is enough, all right."
He saw Ennis relaxing some - it would be torture-like, for sure, but it would be short, at least. Some fear though still lingered, and Jack wondered if his Cowboy was afraid of him somewhat too. After all, he was a tease. Not when it was important though.
"And I'll behave."
That seemed to do it. Ennis was still looking at him, but now in that damn way which always said it all.
"Thanks, Bud."
And Ennis smiled, finally. Shortly, about a quarter of a smile, but still. Ennis even nudged him back.
"You better, huh."
Jack stopped himself for replying that Ennis really shouldn't have said that, 'cause after all, Jack surely wouldn't mind about being "punished". He let it slip though, wanting Ennis to realise he knew damn well that this was bloody serious. Besides, he surely wouln't mind about being "rewarded" either.
Silly. As if you both needed an excuse to get all over each other ...
Ennis shot him again a glance with that look in his eyes, and Jack wondered if getting into bed instead of going out would be such a bad idea after all. But before he could make his mind, Ennis was out of the room, so he followed.
They went outside the house. Ennis closed the door, then started walking towards his pick-up, checking and rearranging automatically his shirt in the back of his jeans, making Jack smile once more - he just liked this typical Ennis little gesture. Liked it a lot. Duh. Of course, he liked everything about his Cowboy anyway.
Ennis drove. They didn't go to Riverton, but to the next town. Ennis of course got more and more tensed again during the drive. Just looking at his clenched jaw was painful. Ennis though surprised him when they got in the bar. He didn't walk to a table in some corner, but went straight to the barcounter. Jack realised though it was probably not a conscious "hiding in plain sight is the best strategy" move, but just the thing which for Ennis felt right - trusted - because the only time they had been to a bar together - the day they had met - they actually had been sitting at the counter. Ennis didn't utter one word, except for "beer" and "thanks" to the waitress. Things were running full circle once more. Things were this time different though too, as Ennis gave Jack his own lighter, and as Jack chatted with the waitress some, instead of asking questions after questions to force little truths out of the blond Cowboy he had needed to know better 20 years ago. They left as soon as their beer got empty. Ennis mumbled to himself when they got out of the bar. Jack couldn't hear the words, but judging by Ennis's expression, he was ready to bet bet it was something along "wasn't that awful or difficult or strange after all, huh, dumbass". Jack smiled to himself.
Walking back to the pick-up, they passed in front of the little train station. Jack just froze. There seemed to be a photo booth inside! He went in, Ennis probably wondering why Jack needed to get in there but following. The train station was deserted. There were probably just a very few trains passing by in the week-end. It was a photo booth indeed. Jack told Ennis he needed some photos - after all, he had to renew his ID soon. He sat in the booth, inserted the coins, 1,2,3,4 flashes, and went out. Still no one around. He checked the timetable, now that they were close enough to be able to read it, and saw that he had been right. No trains still for more than an hour. Chances of anyone walking in were really thin. And if you kept just where he was standing now, you couldn't see the street. More important then, the street couldn't see you. It was now or never. Jack had never really thought about this, but since that talk with Lureen, he just couldn't get it out of his mind. He wanted a photo from Ennis.
"Ennis. Don't make a fuss and get in there."
Ennis's kinda panicked eyes met his own.
"It's all right. It's fine. Out of sight. You can complain about it later on all you want, but now ... Just get. In. There ..."
He didn't need to push more though, surprisingly, and he guessed that maybe in fact Ennis wanted it too. Ennis's eyes flicked twice towards the street and back. Then Ennis sighed, mumbled something which sounded too much like "Jack Fucking Twist" to be anything else, but moved closer and, after one last glance towards the street which he couldn't see, sat down. Jack didn't even take the time to grin, in case Ennis would change his mind again, and inserted new coins in the machine. He shut the curtain and waited, counting the flashes and pretty sure Ennis would look embarrassed and tensed all right at least on the first two shots. He wondered if he would be able to see him blush. He hoped though that one of the picture would be good enough to show to Lureen, eventually. He had made a promise after all.
When the last flash could be heard, Jack opened the curtain again and told Ennis to stay sitted for a bit longer before he had the chance to stand. Ennis sighed again but didn't move as Jack inserted some coins once more in the machine, then stepped back. He let though the curtain open some this time.
"No one but us, Ennis. It's all right."
First flash.
"Just look at me."
Ennis does. Jack smiles.
Second flash.
Ennis smiles back.
Third flash.
They held each other gaze long enough, and as usual then Ennis got that look in his eyes, the one which meant it all.
Fourth flash.
But still they didn't move. After a few seconds though Ennis got back to his usual self and stood up.
"We should go."
Jack let him exit the booth.
"Just a few seconds."
They waited for the last shots to fall and dry, Ennis getting more anxious by the second until Jack finally grabbed the three photo sessions. The first four photos, his own. Then Ennis first ones, Ennis's cornered rabbit gaze somewhat awfully cute. On the last one though Ennis didn't look ready to implode from embarrasment anymore. He just looked as if he had been sighing about the whole situation. Jack smiled. Then the last four photos. His Ennis now here, you bet. Jack would maybe show the last shot of Ennis's first session to Lureen. Maybe to Randall too. After all, why not ... But all the others, they would be his, and his only. And that last photo, with that look in his eyes ... Well, that one beat them all.
After a quick walk they were back to the pick-up and got inside. Ennis looked as if he couldn't get away fast enough. Jack though held his own photos up, and - knowing Ennis wouldn't ask - just told him to choose, 'cause two were enough for his ID anyway. Ennis glanced quickly at the photos and blushed a bit as he whispered "Second one". Then he quickly started the engine, focused on the road, and Jack knew Ennis wasn't going to talk more about it. But well, that meant he wasn't complaining about it after all. Not complaining at all, in fact, even if he surely wouldn't ask to see his photos – he probably wanted to forget he ever went to sit there too to begin with.
They drove back, parked and walked inside in silence. Then when the door got locked, Ennis sighed, out of relief it seemed. Jack grinned as he pushed Ennis against the door. Ennis surely didn't complain about this either. When he finally released Ennis's lips, they were both out of breath and needy for more all right. Jack leaned in again, manoeuvring them then this time towards the stairs.
"Let's get a good reason for changing the sheets again. Together, this time."
Ennis chuckled, then showed to Jack how much he agreed with that plan. They stayed in bed the rest of the day. Then Jack decided it was time to change the sheets. Of course, they messed them up again through the night.
Jack awoke.
8.30.
And Ennis was still asleep.
That was really unheard of.
Jack lost track of time, mesmerized by Ennis at his side, sprawled on hifs belly, legs quite apart, arms bent, hands under the pillow, and facing him, blankets covering him up till the shoulders but unable to hide completely the lines of this body Jack knew probably even better than his own ('cause well, how well do you get to know your own back, right ...). Then Jack couldn't keep only watching, and his fingers ran softly up Ennis bent arm near him, then came softly to play in the thin curls behind his ear. Ennis kind of purred, letting out one "Rodeo", and half smiled. He kept his eyes closed though. Jack's fingers went down a bit towards the base of Ennis's neck, knowing how much a sensitive spot it was for Ennis, and his Cowboy "mmmmed" his content, eyes still closed, and rolled his head to the other side in order to give Jack an easier access.
"Morning."
Jack spooned closer, finally replacing his fingers with his tongue, teasing, slow, and Ennis's breathing turned heavier. He kept still and silent though, and that was Jack's cue to get along. Morning glory be damned - Ennis had never surrendered to him in plain day light - his Cowboy wanted him, sure thing. So Jack crawled on top of Ennis's back, softly licking and massaging every inch of flesh coming on display there as he slided downwards, blankets and sheets sliding down along with him. Neck, upper arms, shoulders, spine, waistline, buttocks, up and down, up and down, lazily but purposefully, Ennis still motionless under him, eyes squeezed shut but breathing harder and harder and unable to stop the usual deep, throaty noises which always spurred Jack on.
And then Ennis said it.
"Want you, Jack."
Not more than a whisper, but it resonated loud in Jack's ears. And in Jack's heart. Ennis actually asking was still so ... new. But Jack wouldn't mind about it becoming an habit, you bet. Jack's trail of kisses turned hungrier. He let though some space between their bodies, wondering if Ennis would want to turn around - that last sweet time, when Ennis had given himself up to him and had finally learned a few things on the way (Jack smiled at the memory), they had been face to face - or not. Knowing Ennis, hiding in the pillow surely felt tempting too right now. The pillow won indeed, Ennis pushing himself up on his elbows and knees.
Jack kept running his tongue on Ennis's back as his fingers pushed inside, slow, then more demanding. When Ennis arched his back, silently asking for more, Jack prepared himself, grabbed Ennis's hips and pushed inside, Ennis's usual groan at the intrusion zinging right through his spine. Jack held still, counting a few beats from his thundering heart, then started to move. When Ennis moaned, after a few thrusts, Jack's hand automatically inched towards Ennis's cock.
"Don't. Not yet."
Kind of pleading. His Cowboy seemed to enjoy it all fine enough just like that, and Jack's hand went back to grip Ennis's waist as Jack started to thrust harder, deeper, faster. Ennis's noises turned louder still, and a very few "yes, huh, yes" could even be heard as Ennis started to shiver in response.
"Now. Jack. Now."
Jack then took Ennis's cock in his firm grip. One, two, three strokes, matching his thrusts. On the fourth, Ennis started to cry his release, the usual sharp strangled "Jack" escaping his lips. Jack kept milking him, feeling him clenching voraciously, spasming around him, and soon joined him in Heaven.
When their breathing was back to normal, he slided out and laid back at Ennis's side. Ennis turned to face him, smiled, whispered "Morning to you too" and kissed him. Jack thought he was still "up there" after all.
ENNIS POV
Jack was behind him, silly comments rushing out of him in the usual but never boring litany of "fuck, Ennis, damn, Ennis, feels, fucking, good, Ennis, humph, God, Ennis, Ennis, Ennis", and as always hearing his own name escaping those lips in that tone just spurred him on like crazy. Jack's hands gripping hard on his hips, thrusting kind of mercilessly but oh so sweetly in, out, in, out, in, out, driving him mad. Yes, mad.
Ennis realised that now that he knew how good it could be, it felt better that way too. Like if being more open mentally made him more open too, physically. On the beginning he had somehow shifted some, and - fuck, yes, god - Jack had hit that sweet place deep inside him just the right way. And was hitting it again and again and again, and it was becoming so good, oh so good, it was sort of painful not to come, too good and Ennis couldn't take it any longer and ordered, asked, begged - he really couldn't decide, but it really didn't matter - for Jack to help him fall over the edge. And Ennis fell, hard, though it felt more like flying upwards, hearing and feeling Jack losing it too with him, within him.
Ennis realised when he came back to his senses that he could easily get used to getting awake like that. Damn fine way to start the day, you bet. Dumbass. Of course, with Jack, anything was "damn fine" anyway. His Jack, under him, above him, astride him, beside him, on top of him, behind him ... only thing that counted was that it was Jack. In the end, it just always came down to Jack.
But it was sunday already, and Jack would have to leave soon. The weather could turn bad easily, it was January after all, and Ennis didn't want Jack to leave late. The longer Jack would be driving in plain daylight, the better Ennis would feel. So Ennis enjoyed himself just lightly kissing and touching Jack for a while, then spoke about breakfast. Jack of course understood it meant playtime was finally over, unfortunately. But his eyes told Ennis that he understood the reason for it too. Ennis just coughed some to hide his embarrassment and moved to fetch their jeans on the floor. Jack grabbed his socks too, and Ennis couldn't hide his smile. It wasn't really cold inside the house, but his Rodeo just liked warmth, you bet. He kept his chest naked though as he followed Ennis out of the bedroom. And that was just damn fine too with Ennis. Just damn fine.
They prepared a solid breakfast together, and a warm cosy feeling filled Ennis as Jack moved around unhesitantly as he dressed the table, opening all the right doors and drawers automatically - as if he owned the place - while watching him and joking around, his goofy smile plastered on his sweet face.
While they ate, Ennis took some milk. Jack eyed him with a funny look. Probably just because well, he was realising that he never had seen him drink any before - taking some to their fishing trip had never been an option, it would just have turned before getting unpacked. Then Ennis thought it was after all maybe just a funny look, because Jack drank some too, held his gaze and went to lick any potential trace of it with his expert tongue. Ennis could bet he blushed. He coughed a bit, trying to ignore his groin's reaction at the sight. Rodeo. Trust his Jack to turn any little normal gesture into merciless teasing.
Then it was shower time. Jack grabbed him when he went in the bathroom, whispering "One more time", and Ennis went along. At least they would win some time after all, they would shower too while "busying" themselves, right ... Lamest excuse ever, Del Mar. Simple truth was that Ennis wasn't able to refuse Jack. He just never had been able to. And he guessed he just never would.
They couldn't pretend for long though that they had all the time in the world. When they were done "cleaning" themselves, Jack went to prepare his bag, and Ennis followed. Trying to engrave in his mind each and every second of their last moments, to fill the sense of void and loss which would soon crash on him, as it always did after they parted.
Jack watched the red shirt he had left here in November, still hanging on the chair, eyed the dark blue shirt he had been wearing the day before now balled on the chair, and seemed to hesitate about something.
"Don't you think I should take this one back and leave the one from yesterday here instead?"
Ennis tried not to beam. Trust his Jack to always get just the right idea. It made sense, after all, Ennis had asked Jack last time to "make it real". And it sure couldn't feel real if it was always the same shirt hanging here, right? Ennis though couldn't think further then than the fact that it would mean he would have Jack's scent too for a bit longer with him, and that was all that counted.
"Yeah ... Guess that would made sense."
Jack put the red shirt in his bag, let the dark blue one where it was and smiled back. Ennis wondered why - his answer wasn't over enthusiastic or funny, right? - but decided it was probably better to just let it pass.
Jack had nearly finished packing when - without looking at him once - he took out a little scissor from his toilet bag, opened a side pocket of his bag, cut something then put some kind of white thin strip on his nightstand. Ennis realised it could be nothing else than that photo, laid facing down, and knew he was blushing. Jack zipped his bag shut, still not looking at him but letting his eyes travel all over the room, as if trying to memorize every tiny detail.
"I'd better go now."
"Huh."
They walked to Jack's pick-up in silence. Jack threw his bag inside, then turned towards him to say goodbye. Ennis leaned in, and as usual brushed their foreheads together before kissing him one last time.
"You take care, huh."
"Of course."
Jack turned and opened the door. Ennis couldn't help it and brought him back close to him, arms circling his waist and neck, needing to breathe Jack in, just once more, then rested his chin on his shoulder. Jack automatically leaned back against him, rolling his head backwards until it met his other shoulder and bringing his hand above Ennis's hand on his belly.
Ennis didn't know where his next words came from, but they were whispered out before he realised it.
"You know, Bud ... right?"
Jack didn't turn, just kinda pressed himself nearer and closed his eyes.
"Yeah, Cowboy. I know."
Ennis relished it all just a bit longer, then squeezed Jack closer with the arm around his neck.
"Good."
Then he released him, his whole body complaining right away at the loss.
Jack turned only his head and met his gaze, eyes bright, so bright.
"See you soon."
Then he climbed in and left.
Ennis's gaze followed Jack's pick-up for as long as he could. Then, as it finally disappeared, Ennis realised something. He felt the usual wrenching pang, but there was something else too. A sudden jolt run through him as he admitted it for what it was. Clear and simple. No denying possible. For the first time ever, Ennis was actually jealous. Lureen, Bobby, and whoever else Jack saw on a daily basis were lucky. They had Jack around. Each fucking day. Jack, his funny banter, his crazy ideas, his silly mouth, his goddamn eyes. Ennis had always known that, but he never had allowed himself to envy them. It would have been pointless, there was nothing to do about it, right?
But now ... The more Ennis had Jack around on a "normal day" basis, and not only "out of the world, far and away", the more he wanted to share those normal little things with him. Waking up in a bed, watching TV, cooking in a real kitchen, eating in something else than cans, cleaning, making the bed, going out for a drink ... Even that last one had felt ... right. He hadn't been able to look at Jack then of course, not trusting his eyes to hide the truth, but just listening to Jack's soft voice as Jack had been chatting with the waitress had been nice. More than nice. Fulfilling. Ennis realised something else too. He didn't just wanted more of those simple moments. He needed more of them.
That sweet life Jack used to talk (more or less directly) about still scared him, as hell, but there was no going back now. It would take some time, of course. But Ennis would find a way. A way to make it safe. Safe enough. And then, he would grant Jack that sweet life he deserved.
One day, Jack. I swear. One day.
Ennis went back inside, eyes lost, trying to imagine the look on Jack's sweet face when that day would come.