I don't think a week has ever felt quite so long. I took five days off of school in attempt to hide my rugged appearance and to give my body a chance to heal, not that it did much healing; I still look like crap. It's an unusually dark Sunday evening, which I guess makes sense since we're in the middle of winter. The weather however, is doing nothing for my mood. Kira, Nicol and I have been moping around the academy like zombies since Hylas left. The only spurt of emotion that has crossed my mind other than blatant depression was anger the other day in martial arts. Shinn had brought a fist down on my right shoulder, and seeing the pain I was in, he said something that nearly caused steam to escape my ears. 'What's wrong with you now? Did you sleep with someone else's girl friend?'
Just thinking about it now causes me to slam my fist into the side wall of the bus. If only he knew how it really happened. But he will never know, no one will. No one besides Lacus and Kira.
"Athrun?" Nicol turns around from the seat in front of me. "You ok?" He's obviously heard me hit the side of the bus.
"Huh? Yeah." He knows about the 'interrogation' with my father, but he doesn't know that I was shot. It's easy enough to cover up my feelings, since we all have so much weighing us down as it is; it's more a matter of covering up the physical mark and the pain earlier in the week.
What is usually a relaxing break for us, has turned out to only be more trouble. Kira had taken as much of Hylas's stuff as he could out of his drawers before guards had come into our room and basically destroyed it looking for evidence of his whereabouts. Today I brought it all to my apartment, in hopes that one day I'll be able to return it to him.
I wrap my right hand around the pendant that hangs around my neck, and my left subconsciously darts to my shoulder. Physically it doesn't hurt anymore, but I can't help but be reminded of what caused it whenever I feel the slightest tweak from the wound.
We wander past the common room toward the dorm. Our wing just seems empty now; a couple other students have already been sent out into the field on top of Hylas's disappearance. The thought of new students hadn't even crossed my mind until we walk into our dorm to find the lights on and a pile of suitcases beside Hylas's bed. I feel myself becoming enraged before I even realize what's going on. I hear the clicking of a keyboard, and look up to find what I would have thought to be a girl if he wasn't in a boys dorm.
The boy sitting atop Hylas's bed has a small, thin frame with unnaturally purple hair that barely touches his collar bones in the front and is slightly shorter in the back. His red, cat like eyes are covered by thin-framed large circular glasses. His body looks like that of an under developed woman, and his pale face, although still slightly 'pretty-boyish' is the only part of him that resembles a male.
I can't believe this, they replaced Hylas already? And just like that?! I only realize now that I've been shooting continuous dirty looks toward the boy since I first laid eyes on him. Thankfully, he still hasn't looked up at us. Is he deaf? Or just incredibly rude?
I walk over to my bed, and then discreetly glance back at the newcomer. He's wearing fitted dark jeans with a yellow dress shirt and a pink cardigan, something along the lines of what an old professor would wear – male or female. He is typing unnaturally quickly on a sleek professional looking laptop. He still hasn't noticed that we're in the room; or rather he's just choosing not to acknowledge us. All I've gotten from him since we walked in is bad vibes.
"Hi there!" Kira says in a friendly tone, "Are you our new roommate?" The boy continues to type on his computer, completely ignoring Kira's attempted welcome. "I'm Kira, and this is Nicol and Athrun," Kira continues. Finally the boy looks up from his laptop, only to flash the most frightening glance I think I've ever seen. Something about his eyes…
"Tieria Erde," he says simply, returning his glance to his keyboard. My heart stops for a split second. Did he say that or did I? His voice is eerily similar to mine. I glance over to Kira and then to Nicol who have both noticed too.
"Nice to meet you, Tieria," Kira says politely.
He looks at least a year or two older than us, and next to Yzak, I don't think I've ever met someone who has come off so arrogant.
I turn to face my bed; I can feel my face glowing with rage. How dare they replace Hylas like that! And with this moron?! Why is he such an ass? I suppose he has no clue what we're all currently going through, but that still doesn't give him a reason to act like a jerk.
"So Tieria, where did you come from?" Nicol asks in an effort to create conversation with the silent idiot. Again, Tieria completely ignores him. Part of me wants to climb up there and punch him, but seeing as I'm going to have to live with him, I think it best to leave him be for now. We'll see what he tries to pull later, then I will reevaluate my plan to launch my fist forcefully into his pretty face. I grin to myself guiltily.
Kira and Nicol continue to try to make small chat with him, but they're continuously ignored. Although I've only heard him speak once or twice, it still creeps me out how alike his voice is to mine.
"Athrun?" Kira asks, obviously repeating something that I missed during my scheming.
"Huh?" I grunt.
"We're going to the caf, wanna come?"
"Yeah, sure. Give me a sec." I say. Something catches my eye, and I catch Tieria's glance. He doesn't look quite so evil now, as he wears a confused expression, obviously noticing the alikeness of our voices.
I forcefully tear my stare away from him, and dig in my drawer to pull on my burgundy hoodie. As I look back in his direction, I see that he's now staring at my red shirt. I grin with a slight sense of pride before heading to exit the room.
"You sure you don't want to come?" Kira asks Tieria as he's walking through the door.
I shove Kira through the door with a slight push as I thankfully hear Tieria decline. I slam the door shut behind me as we head down the hall.
"Athrun, what's wrong with you?" Kira asks, slightly annoyed.
"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me??!!!" I say, outraged, "Are you kidding me? Were you not just in the same room as me? Hylas has been gone just over a week, and they've already replaced him, and with that asshole?! What's wrong with me?!?!??!!"
Kira cracks a smile, "calm down. He's not that bad. I'm sure he's just nervous."
"Are you joking? It's like having six Yzaks compiled into one little… girl!" I say repulsively. I can't believe Kira isn't supporting me in this. "Nicol, what do you think?" I shoot angrily in Nicol's direction.
Nicol cowers a little, a surprised expression on his face, "I don't think he's that bad. Like Kira said, he's probably just nervous."
"You guys have got to be kidding me!" I almost shout, "the guy's a complete asshole!"
"Oooook Athrun, time to calm down. Let's just get you some nice supper. You get cranky when you don't eat," Kira says jokingly, playfully massaging my shoulders.
I almost lash out angrily at Kira, and I can see that he realizes it as well as he backs off. But I stop when I remember how supportive he's been these last couple of days. Maybe he's right. Maybe I am going over the top a little. But I still don't like the guy.
It's only after I finish eating and I'm getting up to dump my tray that I notice Tieria sitting alone in the far corner of the room eating a grilled cheese sandwich. "So he is human," I mumble to myself.
What's wrong with him? Does he not like us? Does he just not like anyone? I feel a pang of guilt race through my veins at seeing him alone. I still hope that the others don't notice him. I grunt to myself. He's a jerk! I tell myself, trying to persuade myself to continue to dislike him, he replaced Hylas and he's being a total asshole! Despite all this, I can't help but feel a little sympathy.
"Hey look, there's Tieria," Kira says, almost excitedly.
Damnit.
"Why is he alone, we invited him to come with us," Kira says in a genuinely saddened tone.
"Guess he just doesn't like us," I mutter.
"Who doesn't like you?" Monica says as she sits down at our table.
I point over in Tieria's direction, "our overwhelmingly social and friendly new roommate."
"Aw come on Athrun, be nice," Nicol says, "He looked really busy earlier today anyway. Come on; let's go sit with him, he looks lonely.
"Hey, he knew we were here. If he wanted anything to do with us he would have sat with us," I say, hoping to avoid the extremely uninviting situation. Although I've never been a fan of meeting new people, I don't think I've ever been this declined to it.
"I'm going over there," Kira says standing up.
I glance over to Tieria only to see his shoulders tense. He's obviously heard us. He doesn't look quite as egotistical now that he's not perched proudly at his laptop. He looks almost as though he's trying to hide behind his sandwich. As we approach him, I see a familiar expression displayed upon his face, once I've seen plenty of times when I've looked in the mirror. His hair hangs over his face in a similar way that mine does. His body language and the way he carries himself display an utterly clear message to me: he's insecure.
However, I'm still too angry to feel sorry for him. He replaced Hylas, and he was a complete jerk to us not an hour ago. I reluctantly head for the place on the bench as far away as I can get from him.
"Hey, how's the grilled cheese?" Kira asks. "I always thought the food here was pretty good, but I found the grilled cheese sandwiches a little soggy. What do you think?" Kira strategically asks him a question that he can't just shrug off and avoid.
Tieria stares intently at the last quarter of his sandwich, "It's ok I guess," he answers. I can't believe how timid he sounds now that he's been basically backed into a corner by Kira. God he sounds like me.
"Is it cool if we sit with you?" Kira asks, sitting down beside him before he can reply. Nicol and I sit across the table.
"Hey Yamato, who's the new girl?" Yzak yells from across the room. I glance over to see Yzak and Dearka laughing arrogantly from across the room.
"Shut up, Yzak!" Kira yells back. "Don't worry about – "
Kira's reassuring words are cut off by Tieria, "I was actually just finishing. I have to go meet Commander La Flaga," he says in his resumed arrogant tone, standing up.
"Tieria, wait," Kira says, grabbing hold of Tieria's cardigan sleeve. "Let us at least show you around the academy later, or come to the fitness center with us." Kira's words are friendly and innocent, but the look in Tieria's crimson eyes is quite the opposite.
Tieria glances down at Kira's hand on his arm, "I have a lot of work to do before tomorrow. Now if you'll excuse me," he says coldly, roughly pulling his arm out of Kira's grasp and picking up his tray.
"Ok, we'll see you back in the common room," Kira calls after him. Tieria keeps walking without looking back.
What a moron!
"Maybe we should give him some space. You know, let him get settled in? Maybe he'll lighten up then," Nicol says optimistically.
"Doubt it," I grunt to myself. I look over at Kira who looks almost hurt. All he did was try to make Tieria feel welcome. My expression changes from angry to sympathetic. Kira never gets shot down like that. This just increases my dislike for the new member of 3C4.
**********************************
We are assembled into the common room for one of Mu's regular last minute meetings at around 20:00. A flustered Tieria is introduced to us as our newest classmate and fellow ZAFT Red. At the mention of this, Yzak's face turns a shade of red that I don't think I've ever seen before. Mu also has yet another important announcement.
"Due to recent events taking place on the battle field, the defense council has announced that a team of four or five students is to be selected from the academy to be sent out on a mission as a support group. Now seeing as our group has the most Red's, and the ministers seem to think it best to take soldiers who have trained together, the students will be chosen from our group. Just because Kira, Athrun and Tieria are Red's does not necessarily mean they will be the ones selected. I'm not entirely sure how the big weights up top make this selection, but the list will be posted tomorrow evening. If there are no questions, you are dismissed."
As soon as the chatter starts, the controversy surrounding Tieria becomes evident. Before anyone can say anything to him, he slips out of the room and sneaks back to the dorm. Although it would be expected that the conversations would revolve around the new mission, there seems to be far more discussion about Tieria. No one can figure out where he came from and why he just showed up and was immediately granted Red status.
"Look you guys," Kira begins as we head back to the dorm, "the pressure on Tieria must be overwhelming right now, so let's not press the matter. He seems pretty shaken up as it is."
"Yeah, I agree," Nicol says.
I reluctantly nod my head in agreement. To be honest, I don't really care where he came from, or why he's here for that matter.
We remain in the dorm with Tieria and we can hear the chatter coming from outside of the door. While Kira and Nicol do their best to be friendly with him, they don't press him for answers. We try to clean up the mess that had been made by the guards who ripped the room apart only a few days ago. While we clean, Tieria begins to unpack his stuff, still silent of course.
All of a sudden, the door bursts open, and an enraged platinum blonde teenager bursts through the door and immediately grabs Tieria by the collar of his shirt.
"Who do you think you are just marching in here like that with a red outfit!?" Yzak yells in Tieria's frightened looking face, "Where the hell did you come from? Are you related to Patrick Zala too?!"
"Yzak!" Nicol shouts, pulling him off the terrified looking purple haired teen.
"What!" Yzak demands, again inching closer to Tieria, "I'm sure you're all thinking it too! Except perhaps Zala here, you two are probably cousins or something. You both look and dress like women anyway," Yzak spits in my direction.
That's it; I can feel myself losing it. I grab Yzak's collar and throw all of my pent up rage into a punch that lands directly on his right eye. "That's enough! Now get the fuck out!!" I yell loudly, shoving him as hard as I can in the direction of the door. A slight redirection from Nicol, and he stumbles out into the hall only to have the door slammed in his face.
We're silent for a few seconds, the only noise in the room coming from me trying to catch my breath. I don't remember the last time I lost it like that. A few seconds later Kira and Nicol burst out laughing. Tieria looks at me as though I'm going to hit him next.
"Wow Athrun, way to lose your cool!" Kira laughs, slapping me in the back. I let out a proud grin. That felt good. Yzak is the most arrogant, proud person I know, and he never fails to piss me off. There is no one I'd rather take my anger out on than him. He got what was coming to him.
"Maybe stay clear of the guys in 3C3," I say, my first words to Tieria who surprisingly nods in acknowledgement.
Just because I defended Tieria does not in any way mean that I like him.
That evening we hit the hay early. It's been a disgustingly long week and all I want to do is drift into a dreamless state – emphasis on the dreamless… Unfortunately that hasn't happened since before I found out that Hylas was ill.
An unfamiliar sound comes from the usually silent far left corner of the room. Tieria has a strange breathing pattern; he isn't snoring, but it's a weird noise. Apparently I didn't release the entirety of my anger on Yzak, as I can feel my body tense as the sound grows louder.
Shut up Damnit!!
I still can't believe that they replaced Hylas so quickly, and with him.
Why won't he be quiet!?
I wonder where Hylas is. Perhaps in a hospital? An image of Hylas lying in a hospital bed with tubes sticking out from every square inch of his body fills my mind. I shake my head to rid myself of the image; I suppose it's better that than dead. I really hope he's ok. I hope he got out. Where did Lacus send him? I trust her judgment, but with such short notice, how good of a place could she have found? Will he be treated with the same dignity and respect he was treated with here? Will he have someone too look up to? Someone to care for him? I feel tears burning in my eyes.
Tieria's breathing grows louder, and I find myself kicking the wall. Not plainly out of anger, but in hopes that he might wake up and be quiet. No change. I sigh, and do the best I can to ignore it. I close my eyes, but the horrid image I've seen so many times in the past week fills my head again. My father's handgun.
'Where is the natural?!'
My hand moves on its own up to my shoulder as a familiar pain burns through my arm. I grit my teeth as the ghostly pain engulfs me.
I shake my head again. The image won't go away. I slam my forehead into the wooden rail of the bed. My head stings, but the image remains. Finally it leaves, and Hylas reenters my mind.
I can't take this anymore! My head spins and I quickly develop the urge to punch the already so dented locker as hard as I can, or rather Tieria's loud mouth. I pull my knees to my chest, and squeeze my arms tightly around them, burying my face in my knees. The images and thoughts still race through my head.
Go away; please go away.
Shaking, I reach out my right hand to pull the thumb tack out of my wall. This is the third time since the day I returned to the academy. The tack clenched between my curled pinky and ring finger, I pull my wrist band off and stow it safely under my pillow. The tack hovers above my wrist as the images continue to fly uncontrollably through my mind. I open my eyes, and with the small amount of light pouring into the room from the bathroom light, I press the tack against my skin. The instant the sharp object pierces my wrist, Tieria's loud breathing stops. I quickly look up, only to realize that my curtain is closed; he can't see me. I revert my focus back to the task at hand, and press the tack firmly into skin and drag it across my scarred wrist until a long sliver of blood leaks from my arm. The wound prickles lightly, and I dig the tack again into the start of the cut, and force it painfully across the already stinging incision. I take a deep breath, and push the pin back into the corner of my mother's photo. I let out a sigh of relief as the burning sensation overtakes my mind. I lay with my gracefully throbbing arm rested on my pillow and with my mind completely dazed, I stare up at the dark ceiling. Tears creep back into my eyes, and I let them fall from my face down the sides of my head where they pool on my pillow. I have no idea why I'm crying. My mind is completely blurred, and I make no effort to regain my thoughts as I drift out of consciousness.
************************************
With Hylas gone, I hear Nicol's alarm go off and realize that I'm to be the first to take a turn in the shower. Exhausted from my lack of sleep, I drag myself out of bed and nearly collapse to the floor upon jumping off my bunk. I close the bathroom door behind me and reluctantly turn on the light. I have no desire to see my sickening appearance at the moment, and I head straight for the shower. I wash my hair and then stand under the water, turning up the temperature allowing the heat to soothe my aching body. My mind still feels fuzzy from last night – like it still refuses to clearly comprehend one single thought, but maybe it's just because I'm still half asleep. The hot water hammers down on my shoulder, sending a dull pain through the right side of my upper body. I can feel the cuts on my wrist stinging, but I choose not to look down. What could have been a relaxing shower turns out to only cause me more pain, and I turn off the water and step out into the cool air of the bathroom. I bury my face in a towel and then shake out my hair causing water droplets to fly throughout the room. I dry myself, and then wrap my towel around my waist before finally staring into the mirror.
What I see disgusts me. It's easy to tell that I haven't eaten or slept properly in over a week. On top of that, I've been working myself to the bone in class and at the fitness center in order to keep my mind off of other things. My usually flat chest and stomach have receded, and my ribs are clearly outlined in a sickening manner. Even my face looks thinner. My normally bright green eyes are dull and bloodshot from the lack of sleep; they look somewhat similar to a dying Christmas tree. Under my left eye there remains a small reddish purple bruise, and on my shoulder, a large scabbed wound. Without having to look, I know my wrists bear small cuts all the way around from the ropes that bound me to my father's mercy. I glance down to my left to see that my wrist is bleeding from last night's episode.
God, I'm a total fucking train wreck.
God Damnit – I turn on the cold water and wash away the blood. I pat my arm dry before digging in the cupboard for some sort of bandage. I watch the blood soak through the gauze as I layer it around my arm. Did I really cut it that deep? Using bandages always freaks me out, since a quick slip of the wrist band and my ugly habit is staring people in the face. I continue wrapping the gauze around my wrist until I can't see the blood anymore. Once taped, I pull my wrist band over, carefully covering the entire thing.
I'm startled as I hear a knock at the bathroom door, and I instinctively plunge my hand behind me. "Athrun, hurry up! We're gonna be late!"
Quickly pulling on my boxers and t-shirt, I open the door and throw my towel in Kira's face. "It's all yours, Mom," I say swiftly walking by him.
"God! What were you doing in there for so long?!" Kira asks.
"You probably don't want to know," Nicol comments, still sitting on top of his bunk. He's gotten into the habit of showering at night since he claims that we take too long.
"Oh shut up," I shoot back in an almost angry tone.
"I'm joking," Nicol insists happily, launching his pillow at my head. "Lighten up sour puss!"
I turn to him just in time for the pillow to hit me in the face. "Hey!" I complain, "That was uncalled for!" I pick up the pillow, ready to throw it back at him, but then I glance over at Tieria who is lying on his stomach with his elbows pulled onto his pillow and his chin resting on top of his hand. He snickers amusedly, and I feel the right side of my lips curl into a smile before throwing the pillow directly at his face. The pillow hits his head, causing his glasses to fall off of his face. I turn just in time to laugh into the palm of my hand without him seeing. I hear Nicol laughing from atop his bunk. Then I hear the pillow make contact with something again, and I turn to see Tieria with a grin on his face as Nicol jokingly rubs his cheek. They're both laughing now.
"Hey Athrun," Kira says, sticking his head out of the bathroom. He's completely drenched, as if he got out of the shower and walked straight to the door.
I glance at him seriously; did he see the blood somewhere? Crap, how do I cover this up? Say my shoulder opened? No, it's scabbed. I walk over to him and glance nervously at him, "yeah?" I can feel Nicol and Tieria staring down at him. Kira gestures with his finger to come closer so he can whisper something in my ear.
I put my head close to his, and he shakes his head violently, soaking my dry t-shirt with the water from his hair. He laughs hysterically as I growl back at him. "That's for taking so long in the shower! The water was freezing!" Kira says laughing.
"Thank you," I say sarcastically, pulling my shirt over my head. Kira's face hardens as he sees the scab on my shoulder. Only then do I realize it's in plain sight for Nicol and Tieria to see. I quickly grab another shirt from the drawer – specifically looking for a long sleeved one, trying desperately to keep my shoulder out of view.
"What's going on out here anyway? You guys sound like a bunch of zoo animals!" Kira asks, obviously trying to avert their stares to himself in order to give me time to cover my shoulder.
Tieria crawls back under his blankets to his usual antisocial state, and Nicol just laughs. Kira closes the bathroom door, and I pull on the rest of my clothing before digging in my locker for bag. I nervously pull my left sleeve down over my knuckles, bunching the fabric in my left hand.
A minute later, Kira exits the bathroom and he, Nicol and I go down to the cafeteria, our invitation to Tieria having been declined once again.
**********************************
I've grown to hate nights like this; nights where something important happens. The anticipation only adds to my recent stress levels. It's been a long Monday and I'm more than happy that it's almost over. As for the selection of students for this new mission, I really hope I'm not chosen.
Tieria remained antisocial today, and I seemed to find him in all of my classes except the mobile suit training class. He's a rather entertaining student. He was initially paired with Dearka in martial arts, but was quickly switched with Nicol to be paired with Yzak after easily flattening his former partner. Tieria may not look very strong, but to Yzak's surprise, he was quick and incredibly precise. It wasn't until academics that I grew overly frustrated with him. He obviously wasn't paying attention to the professor, but when he was called on, it took him only seconds to come up with the correct answer, only to prove the answer that had taken me a good five minutes to calculate was wrong. To my extreme delight however, he's absolute shit with a handgun, but I figure it's only a matter of time before he picks that up too. Like Kira, it seems like he's talented in every field. I can't help but wonder though if he's a pilot or not.
My question is answered when the list for the new mission is posted.
Shinn Asuka, Nicol Amalfi, Rey Za Burrel, Athrun Zala and Tieria Erde.
We're to depart in… 48 HOURS?!?!
I glace over to see that Yzak looks like he's going to give birth to a brick as he stares furiously at the list. He gives me a dirty look, but knows better than to mess with us again; his black eye is proof of that.
Later on, we're briefed as to how the mission will be carried out. We're informed that the mission is to provide support for a team infiltrating the Earth Forces' Scandinavian base. The ship we will be aboard is call the Vertier and it is under the command of Captain Barton. The five of us would each be on standby in a ZAKU Warrior. The mission is to take somewhere along the lines of four days as we will only be needed until another team can be properly dispatched. During the next two days, we're all to be excused from regular classes in order to attend exclusive tactical training seminars specific for the upcoming mission. As the senior red, I'm informed that below the captain and commanders, I will have command over the rest of my team on and off the battle field. Tieria holds secondary command as the other Red.
The question still plaguing my mind is why hasn't Kira been selected? When I asked him earlier he had said that he was to complete some important training test and then quickly changed the subject. He never speaks much about his mobile suit training.
Hurray! Midterms are finally over and I can focus on what's important lol. Anyway, there it is, Chapter 14. It's kind of the calm before the next storm. I've never been good at writing action scenes, so I guess we'll see how the next couple chapters turn out!
For anyone who hasn't seen Gundam 00, Tieria is not my character. He's the gumpy, arrogant pretty boy from the newest Gundam show. He was kind of an after thought to this story, and he's sort of out of character but I figured I'd try to make it work. I always wanted to see how he would react in a more social setting than Gundam 00, so here it goes!!
As always, thanks for reading :)
Oh and btw, I'm working on a couple of new one shots so hopefully those will be posted soon. Keep your eye out for them!