Window

Chapter Fourteen

Ino was in a bad mood that morning. Shikamaru could see it coming a mile off, because when one grew up with a girl prone to violent and compulsive mood swings, one learned to look out for them.

He'd been sitting on a bench beside the river, enjoying the peace up until the point Ino came stomping down the path. It was a good day for cloud watching. Not too much cloud to render the hobby redundant, but not too clear either. Little fluffy white clouds floated by across their blue canvas like sheep grazing in a meadow. A lot of them looked like sheep actually.

But all thoughts of sheep and clouds were forcibly shoved from his mind as Ino plonked herself down on the bench beside him.

"I'm so annoyed," she declared.

Shikamaru looked away down the river and took a slow drag on his cigarette.

Ino sighed in a very non-subtle fashion. "You wouldn't believe how annoyed I am," she grumbled a little more loudly. When he failed to respond, she thumped him in the chest. "Are you listening to me?"

"You're annoyed. I get it." Why she felt the need to announce it, when it was pretty damn obvious one way or another was a mystery to him. But then, women as a whole were a mystery to Shikamaru.

He should have realized this was just another one of Ino's leading tactics. "Want to know why I'm so annoyed?"

Shikamaru debated. "Sure." He calculated this was the least bothersome reply in the long-run. He could be truthful and say 'no', but he'd only get thumped again and then she'd tell him anyway.

"That Sakura," she began with a slight wrinkle of her nose, "she's such a pain. I followed her last night to see who this mysterious lover of hers is, but all she did was go home, watch boring soap operas and then go to sleep. So, like a dope, guess what I did?"

"What did you do?" Shikamaru was nothing but a wall for Ino to bounce her own conversation off. All he had to do was repeat her words back at her and she would be satisfied.

"I went home, didn't I?" Ino thumped her knee angrily. "I got up especially early this morning to see if she went somewhere and met up with someone before work, and guess what?"

"What?"

"She came home ten minutes after I arrived."

Ino looked at him like this was some marvelous and very meaningful revelation, but Shikamaru could only stare, feeling pinned and lost. "So?" he ventured.

"So?!" Ino cried. "How annoying is that! She crept off in the middle of the night to rendezvous with this mysterious man of hers, and I still don't know who he is!"

"How do you know she was off seeing a man?" Shikamaru asked. "She could have just gone out for an early morning walk."

Ino gave him a pitying look. "When she came back she certainly didn't look like a girl who had been out for a walk. Only a girl who's been fucked three ways from Friday walks with the kind of limp she had when I saw her."

Shikamaru sighed. He didn't really want to think about such things. "Is it really any of your business who Sakura is seeing?"

"Yes, it most definitely is," Ino snapped. "The only reason Sakura would keep this relationship such a secret was if he was incredibly ugly. Or really poor. Or very, very stupid. Or... someone she shouldn't be seeing at all. She could be consorting with the enemy, Shikamaru! It is our duty as Konoha Shinobi to protect our village and our village's secrets and investigate any potential leak of intelligence!"

Talking about a leak of intelligence... "Ino, you don't care about that. You just want to know who Sakura is dating and find out if he's prettier than your guy."

"Oh, Shikamaru, please help me out," she wheedled. "With my brains and your beauty, we could have this mystery solved by lunchtime."

Shikamaru sighed and turned his eyes upward as he thought, the cigarette burning with neglect between his fingers. After a very long and deliberate silence and nodded his head. "Maybe it's Kakashi-sensei."

Ino's head snapped around to stare at him, confused and surprised. "What?"

"There's a rumor going around the headquarters that one of the jonin teachers is sleeping with his female student, and rumors usually have some basis in fact. Sakura is a female student of a jonin teacher, and you're saying she has a mysterious guy who she, for no apparent reason, won't reveal the identity of. Put two and two together and you have Haruno Sakura and Hatake Kakashi."

Ino stared at him for a long time, before she growled in annoyance and threw her hands up in the air. "Don't be stupid. You could at least take me seriously."

Shikamaru shrugged and went back to sucking thoughtfully on his cigarette. It was a few moments later when a bundle of orange, black and blonde came racing past them, did a hasty U-turn and then doubled back to stand before them.

"Hey, guys!" Naruto said with way too much enthusiasm for this time of the morning. "Have either of you seen Sakura-chan around?"

Shikamaru looked expectantly at Ino whose frown only deepened. "Sakura, Sakura, Sakura! Why is everyone so obsessed with Sakura?"

"I don't know. You're the one stalking her," Shikamaru pointed out.

"Really, you're stalking Sakura-chan?" Naruto didn't seem all that disturbed. "So you've seen her?"

Ino folded her arms in a 'I don't have to tell you anything' pose, but nevertheless she said, "The last time I saw her she was on her way to the hospital."

"Cool, thanks! I'm worried that she kinda feels left out, you know. Because of the whole jonin thing. Do you think I should get her flowers or something?"

"Can't hurt." Shikamaru shrugged.

"Are you two mad?" Ino sent them both withering glares. "Give her flowers and you're as good as admitting you've done something to upset her. It'll only make her more upset because she'll realize she isn't just being a paranoid sap. Don't you dare even apologize, just make it up to her."

Female logic was a strange and powerful thing, and Naruto was clearly in awe. "Ok, cool," he said when he managed to grasp what she was saying on a fundamental level. "So... I should just hang out with her like normal?"

"Yes," Ino said, as if it was obvious.

"Thanks, Ino!"

But before he could zip away, Ino called out to him. "Hey, Naruto! Any idea who this mystery boyfriend of Sakura's is?"

He turned and looked back, confused. "I thought she was dating that Ikki bastard?"

"You're wasting your time," Shikamaru said to Ino under his breath. When Naruto had already failed to notice that he'd put on his jacket inside out that morning, it was unlikely he'd notice anything about other people's secret love lives.

"Nevermind," Ino sank back onto the bench grudgingly. "Your fly's undone, by the way."

Naruto toddled off happily, zipping himself up at he went

"Well, it's not him, that's for sure," Ino sighed. "And it can't be Sasuke because she would be rubbing it in my face by now."

"I suppose it would be futile to point out that this really is none of your business," Shikamaru said wearily.

"Yes," Ino said huffily. "It would."

Shikamaru shrugged and took another drag of his cigarette before tilting his head back. Smoke mingled with clouds, and at least his little corner of the world was adequate that day.

This tenderness would pursue her for several days, she was sure. Sakura winced as she tried hard not to waddle down the corridor towards Tsunade's office, clutching an armful of folders against her breast. Kakashi had made quite an impression on her last night one way or another. A lot of fun at the time, but now...?

But it seemed her crafty walking skills weren't quite up to par, as she realized Shizune was staring at her bemusedly from the reception desk. Sighing, she waddled closer until she could drop the folders onto the counter.

"What's with the limp?" Shizune asked.

"I hurt my knee," Sakura lied plainly.

"Your knee, huh? Right" Shizune nodded in a skeptical fashion. Both of them knew it but neither would say it... that Sakura was walking as if someone had driven a wedge between her legs. "What are these?" she asked, tapping the folders Sakura had set down.

"The medical records Tsunade-shishou requested," Sakura replied, looking around the waiting area to see all the chairs against the walls were deserted. "Is she in?"

"Mm-hm," Shizune hummed, nodding. "She's briefing a team for a mission, but she should be done in a few minutes."

Oh good, Sakura thought, I can sit down. Her legs were still remarkably wobbly since last night.

But Shizune wouldn't let her. "Oh, hey, Sakura," she said suddenly, her voice diminishing to a stage whisper. "Have you heard the rumor?"

"The rumor about the pay rise?" Sakura asked hopefully.

"No, no, no, it's much better than that." With a quick glance around the empty waiting room, Shizune beckoned Sakura and they both leaned forward conspiratorially. "Did you hear? One of the jonin teachers is sleeping with a student!"

Sakura's heart skipped a beat, and then suddenly began pounding faster. "W-What?" she stammered.

"I know. How weird is that?" Shizune wrinkled her nose. "It would be like you sleeping with Kakashi-sensei or something. It's just wrong."

Swallowing hard, Sakura tried to cope with the sudden cold sweat that tingled in her palms. "D-Do you know... I mean... is it true? Does anyone know who it is?"

Shizune shook her head. "But there's only ten male jonin teachers in the village. Between me and you, my money's on Nakamura-sensei. That girl of his is complete jail bait, if you know what I mean. Well... whoever it is... if it's true, they're in serious trouble. The last teacher who slept with his student was issued with a warrant for his execution."

"What?" Sakura choked.

"Well, it wasn't the main reason for the warrant. He'd done a lot of other nasty stuff too, like murder, unethical genetic experimentation, conspiracy to mutiny, treason... it was Orochimaru, after all." Shizune rolled her eyes. "But this still spells trouble. It could just be a rumor though."

"Yes," Sakura nodded firmly, "it's probably just a rumor. I can't see it being true at all."

Shizune looked at her oddly for a moment and opened her mouth to speak, but right then the door to Tsunade's office clicked open and people began to file out. The first two men Sakura didn't know, until she spotted a familiar face – or a familiar face spotted her.

"Sakura! Hey!"

The girl was all blonde hair, gooey brown eyes and pouty lips, and Sakura knew her from the hospital – she was the same grade of medic.

Sakura hated her.

"Hi, Nibiki," she sighed, waving back less than enthusiastically. "Going on a mission?"

Long blonde hair flipped dramatically, offset my ridiculously long eyelashes bathed in mascara. "Yeah. It's a long one! Wish me luck!" Then her face fell. "Oh dear... did you pull another all-nighter last night? You work too hard, you know."

Sakura raised a hand to her hair self-consciously. Did she look rough or something? She thought she'd looked pretty fresh and perky when she'd looked in the mirror that morning. Already Nibiki was sailing away, and Sakura looked up in time to see the last man exist Tsunade's office.

Kakashi.

He nodded to Shizune first of all and then smiled pleasantly to Sakura. "Good morning, ladies," he said politely.

"Found a chunin medic, I see," she noted.

Kakashi's smile widened as he moved over to the desk to hand a slip of paper to Shizune to stamp. "Now, now," he said chidingly. "Don't get jealous."

Sakura's ears burned red as he took back the slip of paper and turned – giving her a wink only she could see as he did so – to walk out of the door. As Sakura's heart went with him, Shizune leaned forward over the counter to peer after the departing team. "Why's he taking Nibiki? That was an A-class mission I just stamped, why wouldn't he take you? You're the better medic and fighter by far."

Sakura felt worryingly depressed all of a sudden. "He asked, but I turned it down."

"Why?"

Because how could you forget someone and move on when you had to spend a whole month fighting side by side? She had to stay in Konoha and take the opportunity of his absence to forge her own path again, away from its momentarily collision with his. She would go out more. With friends. Perhaps even pick up a boy. She would make an effort to be more interested in Naruto and Sasuke's upcoming exams and put her petty feelings of inadequacy behind her. This was a new era and she was a new Sakura. Whatever rumors were floating about now would gradually fade, because there would be nothing to fuel them now. This chapter was over and done with, and the next was blank and ready to be written. And…

…and god she was going to miss Kakashi.

Shizune was staring at her, and she realized she'd been gazing too long and too wistfully at the empty doorway where she'd last seen Kakashi. There had been a question, hadn't there? "Um… I just didn't feel like going on a long-haul mission," Sakura said vaguely. "And someone has to keep an eye on Naruto and Sasuke."

To Shizune, this was a very good reason. "Ah, yes, true." She nodded sagely. "If you weren't here to look after them, they wouldn't stand a chance in the jonin examination."

Sakura grunted. Maybe I should tag along with Kakashi-sensei after all…?

"Well, it's nice that some people find time to have a pleasant chitchat while the rest of us work our fingers to the bone," a voice said behind them.

Sakura whirled around. "Shishou! Sorry, shishou – I brought the files you requested, shishou!"

"Good. Bring them in and we'll go over them." Tsunade stood back to let Sakura into the office before her. Sakura hurried to comply, picking up the folders and scurrying into the office.

"Why are you walking like someone's driven a corkscrew between your-"

"I have a sore knee."

In Kakashi's opinion, port villages either always bustled with activity and excitement, or stank of lethargy, urine and turpentine. Port Sokko was very much of the latter variety. The air was swimming with humidity; the only breeze carried with it the stale smell of old fish and salt, and a film of muggy sweat seemed to have settled on everything. Palm trees wilted, villagers sat slumped in shade, and even the buildings looked like they were perspiring.

Kakashi walked down the sloping path to the docks with the rest of his team under a scalding sky that was nothing more than a white haze. They all looked thoroughly unhappy and were sweating like pigs over a roast, too acclimatized to the more tepid and reasonable temperatures of Konoha. Kakashi didn't mind though. While his team sweated and emitted the occasional moan, he zipped his jacket all the way up to his chin and pushed his hands deeper into his pockets. After having been stationed on the Suna border during the war, one learnt to cope with heat.

He was watching the signs creaking on rusted hinges and the paint peeling off the houses when someone appeared at his side.

"Hey, Kakashi-taichou, aren't you hot?" Nibiki.

"I'm comfortable," he responded lightly. She herself was looking pretty cool, but a shimmer of perspiration on her forehead was giving her away. It would be a shame to ruin all that make-up…

"You'd probably feel better if you took your mask off," she suggested.

"I'm fine," he said, pretty much repeating himself.

"Mm," she nodded. "Why do you wear it, may I ask?"

He just looked at her, giving her the plain, hooded look that if held long enough would forever establish intimidation over his victim. Normally that look could frighten people off him for life, but this girl just smiled. "I used to know a guy in the academy who wore a mask like that," she said pleasantly. "Turned out it was just because he was really ugly."

And with that Nibiki quickened her pace and caught up with the other team members walking ahead.

So she was passive aggressive and challenging his authority, and well, he'd expected that. He'd sniffed trouble the moment he'd seen her making that 'you work too hard' comment to Sakura, and that was when he'd decided that they would be taking the ferry from the southern route through the blistering heat of Sokko port rather than the much cooler route through the northern Matsuyama port. Because Nibiki wasn't the only passive aggressive asshole in the team.

"Um, Nibiki?" he called.

She turned happily.

He made a vague gesture towards his own eyes. "Your mascara… um… you might want to fix that."

As she blazed red and turned away, furiously wiping at her face and probably only making the problem worse, Kakashi reflected that he would much rather have preferred it if Sakura had come. Not only because she was a better medic and a more competent warrior, but because frankly he was beginning to feel the sharp loss of her company. And also, her attempts as passive aggression and insubordination were much more endearing.

They'd been traveling for almost a week now and had stayed at numerous decrepit little inns along the way. The budget just about allowed enough to book a room each, but Kakashi wondered what the point was. The walls of the rooms were so thin that you could hear the snoring of the occupant in the next room over as if they were lying right next to you with their arms wrapped around you and their mouth pressed against your ear. But most importantly, thin walls did little to stifle the moans of ecstasy that could be heard now and then. Ordinarily as good as free porn, but a bit depressing when your body was struggling to cope with the sudden absence of a warm bedfellow. Two nights now he'd woken up when the sound of feminine moans echoing around his room had invaded his dreams, tricking him into thinking he was back with Sakura, and had found himself with an inconvenient mess to clean up as a result.

The Itch was creeping back over him, but where before the Itch had never been fussy about exactly what kind of female company it sought… this time it was very specific. Only one face came to mind when he was caught in a quiet moment by himself. Only her hair. Only her eyes. Only her underwear that still resided in his back pocket.

Damn, he wished Sakura hadn't had the sense to turn this mission down, even though he knew she was ultimately right to do so. If she had come along, they wouldn't have lasted three nights before he seduced her or she seduced herself into joining him in his futon at night, and then it really would have been her moans echoing through the paper-thin walls of every inn they stayed at, and by now their affair would have been no secret.

When they'd finally parted ways that morning six nights ago, they'd both made it plain that it was the end. There would be no more talking about it and they would both go their separate ways and forget. They were free from each other now and Kakashi was told he was entitled to return to his 'philandering' ways, as she put it.

But it hadn't been a very formal goodbye. They hadn't shook hands and waved each other goodbye. She'd gotten out of bed, gotten dressed, told him the conditions of their separation, listened to his agreement and amendments, and then had promptly sat in his lap and kissed him as if she would never see him again. It had all been well and good, but Sakura had the problematic habit of arousing him with very little effort, so he'd had to force her out the door before they wound up back where they'd started: in bed.

The moment she left his smile had faded, and despite knowing that things had gone exactly according to plan – that they'd separated without any fuss or drama or tears or anyone else finding out – he wasn't happy. He wasn't gut-wrenchingly depressed, but he just didn't feel the usual relief he felt at severing a relationship with a woman… perhaps because this one felt as if it had been cut short before it had been able to reach the point where he would have been glad to see the back of her.

It was true he wouldn't have minded a few more nights getting to know her body and enjoying her companionship, but his need for company did not outweigh Sakura's need to get away from someone like him. Because in the end he would only drag her down with him…

"Taichou, is that our ferry?" one of his subordinates asked. He was either Denji or Daisuke, but they looked too alike for Kakashi to be able to tell the difference.

He paused and lifted his hand to shade his eye from the sun in order to better see the harbor below. "You mean the one that's a tiny dot on the horizon and disappearing fast?"

The rest of his team groaned. "But the next one's not till tomorrow," the other Denji/Daisuke moaned.

"We would have made it if we'd set off on time this morning," Nibiki said off-handedly, and by studiously not looking at Kakashi she may well have been glaring straight at him.

"The ferry was an optional luxury," Kakashi said in his matter-of-fact tone. "I was hoping we'd catch it, but since we didn't we'll just have to make our way on foot."

"What?" Now Nibiki was glaring at him.

"You were taught water-walking as a genin, weren't you?" he said evenly. "It's only a few miles, just watch out for the big waves. And the jellyfish. And sometimes the sharks like to have a curious nibble."

Needless to say, Kakashi was about as popular with this team as he was with every other team he'd manned.

They took a break when they reached the harbor wall below. Nibiki corrected her make-up, Denji and Daisuke swapped drinks, and Kakashi leant against the wall, watching the distant strip of land on the horizon.

The port town was far too quiet for Kakashi's liking. Only one boat bobbed in the water, tied up to the mooring lines further along the dock. A tired looking man floated past, selling chunks of skewered squid dipped in sticky soy sauce, but Kakashi politely refused. It wasn't wise to accept unsolicited food on a mission, and he quickly slapped either Denji or Daisuke's hand down as one of the special jonin reached up to call the tired man back.

"But I'm really hungry, Taichou," either Denji or Daisuke complained.

"We've not eaten since last night," either Daisuke or Denji agreed.

"The faster we move the sooner we find a place to eat," Kakashi reasoned. "So if we're all done reapplying our lipstick, we'll go-"

"You need a ride?"

The group turned to face the man who'd spoken. He looked like a fisherman, what with all the darned nets he was carrying, coupled with his wild white beard and tanned bald spot. Several missing teeth grinned at them.

"Yes," Nibiki said impulsively.

"No," Kakashi said, glaring at the back of her head.

"I'm heading out to the Yura Isles… for a price I can drop you off somewhere along the way?"

"We're going to the same place!" Nibiki enthused. "How much do you want?"

"Um…" Kakashi tried to interrupt.

"Fifty thousand ryo."

"Kakashi-taichou, do we have-"

"No." Unsolicited boat rides were out too.

"But, it's so far to walk!" Nibiki protested. "And he's way cheaper than the ferry was asking – and what if I trip and fall and drown? These bags are so heavy."

Well, he knew why she'd been passed over for promotion during the review. But then the two special jonin were looking at him hopefully, and he really did look like a harmless old man who would snap like a twig without too much trouble… although appearances were hardly something to trust.

"That's your boat?" Kakashi nodded to the lonely dingy with the folded sails.

"That's my boat." The man nodded humbly.

Kakashi sighed. "We need passage to the Isle of Yura. Can you get us there before nightfall?"

"I'll get you there before mid-afternoon… for sixty thousand ryo."

"… you… just put up your price."

"Taichou, just give him the money before it goes up to seventy."

"Fine, fine…" He was getting too accommodating in his old age, but where was the sense in taking a long hard walk when there was a ride to be had?

He forked over the money bills and as the man turned to hobble back to his boat, the team followed and Kakashi gave the man a surreptitious once-over with the sharingan. He wasn't in disguise, there was no detectable levels of chakra in him and he seemed to be very much who he appeared to be – a money-grubbing old man with a dodgy looking dingy.

Nibiki quickly forgot how happy she was at their stroke of good fortune when about fifteen minutes later she was hanging over the side of the boat, introducing the contents of her stomach to the sea as the light vessel found itself tossed around on each and every ripple and wave.

Kakashi once more found himself on holding-sick-girl's-hair duty, what with Denji and Daisuke looking a little green themselves. "Why didn't you say you get seasick?" he asked wearily, feeling as if he'd been taken back in time and he was once more baby-sitting three pubescent brats rather than two adult special jonins and a qualified medic.

"I didn't know," she wailed. "I've never been in a boat before."

Ah. "Was that why you were so keen to get this boat?"

She just groaned. "Everything smells like fish…"

"Fishing boats often do." She seemed to have finished throwing up so he set down his backpack and rummaged around in it with one hand while the other remained employed in holding her hair. "Have a tissue," he said, handing it down to her.

"Thank you," she said more meekly than he'd ever heard her sound as she discreetly wiped her mouth. He released her hair with a compassionate pat to the top of her head, but she remained hanging over the side for several minutes before she lifted her head. "You're actually much nicer than my sensei was."

"Who was your sensei?"

"Morino Ibiki."

"Ah…" That explained a fair bit.

"I envy Sakura," she croaked.

I've noticed, Kakashi thought, but said nothing.

"Why didn't you bring Sakura on this mission?" she asked, looking at him. "She's a better medic nin than I am. And she can punch a hole in concrete. So… why me?"

"Don't go thinking it's because you're special. Sakura was just busy."

"She didn't look especially busy to me… when you were winking at her."

Kakashi stared resolutely at the horizon.

So Nibiki sat up and pushed her hair back. "Did you know that one of the jonin teachers is sleeping with his student?" she asked.

"If you keep your eyes on the horizon, it should help orientate your balance and you'll feel less seasick," Kakashi informed her.

"Right…"

The journey progressed uneventfully after that. Nibiki threw up twice more over the side until she had nothing left to purge, and either Denji or Daisuke was sick at least once. The fisherman paid no heed to the evident distress of some of his passengers, but at least he kept to his word and they arrived at the promised point exactly five minutes before three o'clock.

"Thank you," Kakashi said to him as they got off the boat, but what he was really saying was 'thank you for being who you seemed to be and not part of an intricate trap laid out by our targets to assassinate us before we assassinate them, thus restoring my faith in humanity to some degree'. But it was a bit of a mouthful, and they had to get moving anyway. "Come on," he said to his shaky-legged team. "Walk it off."

"But I'm hungry," someone protested.

"Walk it off," Kakashi repeated.

"I take it back," Nibiki said. "You're much crueler than Ibiki-sensei."

"That's quite an achievement. I'll make sure they put it on my tombstone," he said dryly.

They headed out of the port and onto a road winding through the forest, past old abandoned shrines and small gangs of monkeys that staked out points in the road like little bands of rogue bandits. Monkeys were a bit of a rarity in the fire country, and naturally some members of the team were curious.

"Don't stare at them," Kakashi warned.

"Why not?" Denji or Daisuke asked.

The large male monkey he'd been staring at suddenly opened it's mouth with a loud shriek and charged. Both special jonin leapt out of their skin and Nibiki squeaked and grabbed onto Kakashi's arm. But at the last moment the monkey swerved away into the trees, satisfied that its bluff had worked.

"That's why," Kakashi said drolly, shaking Nibiki politely off his person.

"I don't think I like this place," Nibiki said, shuddering as she spied a moss-covered statue of a grinning monkey hidden amongst the tall grasses at the side of the road.

"You'll have to get used to it," Kakashi told her. "We could be out here for a month."

"I'm starting to wish Sakura hadn't been so busy, you know?" She gave him a wry look. Kakashi pretended not to notice, but this time she wasn't content to the let the matter drop now that she wasn't feeling so queasy. With a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure the other two members of their team were at a safe distance, she bumped against Kakashi's side and said in a faint whisper. "I'm not an idiot, Kakashi-taichou. I know there's something going on between you and Sakura."

"I don't like what you're insinuating," Kakashi said, sounding detached. "My relationship with Sakura is strictly platonic. To suggest it is anything else just sullies the trust that-"

"Oh, shut up, I'm not going to tell anyone," she giggled.

Kakashi grimaced.

"I bet you're wondering how I know-"

"I'm really not-"

"Well, I was thinking about the rumor, and there's only ten people it could possibly be referring to, and it definitely wasn't Ibiki-sensei because I would know about it, so that leaves nine people. Most of them are married, and the ones that aren't are way too old or their students are complete dogs. You and Sakura are the only feasible match I could think of, and that wink definitely confirmed it for me. That and you have a pair of panties in your back pocket that have her name written on the label. I found them when you were having that bath."

Kakashi sighed, "I have to say… I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's ok, I understand," she clapped his shoulder. "Plausible deniability. Don't you think that if I was going to tell everyone I would have told everyone by now?"

"Maybe you want to blackmail me?" he suggested.

"Ah-hah!" she pointed a finger at him. "So you admit it!"

"Admit what?" he said innocently.

"I bet you miss her…"

"Nibiki," he said tiredly.

"Alright, alright, I'll say no more."

And she really did say no more after that, because that was when the kunai struck her in the back of the head and killed her.

Konoha was caught in another sporadic heat wave as summer found its second wind. The rain clouds had disappeared over the mountains, leaving nothing but blue sky in their wake, and Sakura was on flower-watering duty. It was a dry heat, tolerable enough to still sleep with the window shut but hot enough to have all the plants wilt in mourning of the rain.

Sakura leant out over her window box and poured another glass of water into the soil of Mrs Uno's plant pot. All the other plants on the ledge were dead and dying, but Mrs. Uno was a hardy plant, even if a little dull without her flowers.

Idly, Sakura wondered if she should check on Mrs. Uno's counterpart, Mr. Ukki. With Kakashi gone, that plant was undoubtedly being neglected. He'd probably be quite upset if he returned and found his shrub had withered to a brown stump in his absence like Ms Urru had after being under Sasuke's ownership for a week. But checking up on Mr. Ukki would involve going over to Kakashi's apartment, which probably wasn't a good idea given the circumstances. She would only get caught up in remembering the last time she'd been there, and then she would find herself missing him.

"Hey, Forehead!"

"Pigtail."

Down on the street below, Ino stood grinning up at Sakura like a hyena, chest thrust out and hands held in a deception of innocence behind her back. Sakura debated whether or not to throw the remaining water in her cup over the other girl, simply for the sake of it.

"You coming to the Wildflower Viewing?" Ino asked.

"Wildflower viewing?" Sakura echoed, confused.

"The bulletin's been on the board for a week, Sakura. Jeez… you've been such an air-head lately." Ino suddenly lifted her arms up and two brown bottles glinted in the sun. "If you don't come, you can't have any of my sake!"

Even if Sakura didn't feel like viewing any more flowers, she really didn't have much choice in the matter. And it was tradition after all, and Ino would not leave without her. So with a sigh Sakura put her housecleaning spree on one side and walked with Ino to training ground six, which was by and large used only by pre-genin academy students and so the flora was most intact here than in any other training ground. There were already plenty of people gathered at the edge of the lake, sitting on blankets and indulging in picnics and sake-drinking contests. It was one of the few days of utter relaxation in the ninja profession, officially to admire the flowers and reflect on the transient nature of life, but unofficially to blow off steam, quaff sake, spread malicious gossip, and flirt shamelessly with colleagues – so how had Sakura forgotten?

Well, obviously her mind had been somewhere else for the past week…

"Sakura-chan! Ino-chan! We saved you a spot!" Naruto was there in the heart of the bustle, already a little rosy cheeked with a slim cup of sake in one hand. Beside him was Sasuke, equally pink in the face but with his eyes closed and an air of greater dignity about him. On the next blanket over was Team 8 and on their other side were the remaining members of Team 10.

They got straight down to business.

"To summer!" Ino roared, tipping back her bottle of sake with every intention of catching up with her teammates. Sakura tried to be a bit more sedate, but Ino all but forced the second bottle down Sakura's throat with the order to "Drink!"

The topic of conversation moved swiftly. If Sakura didn't keep up she would be left behind, and she seemed to have arrived in the middle of a discussion about who were the sexiest shinobi in Konoha.

"No comment," Sasuke mumbled.

"Um…" Hinata just turned red and looked everywhere but at Naruto.

"Sai," Ino sighed.

"TenTen," Kiba said confidently. "Her nunchucks are the best."

Sakura didn't know what else to say, so she simply grabbed the first name that came into her head that didn't belong to anyone in present company. "Yamato-taichou."

This was met by a wave of splutters, shrieks and vague confused noises. "What?" was the general consensus.

"I-I think he's cute," she said, feeling her face heat. Boy, if this ever reached Tenzou…?

"But he has scary eyes!" Naruto protested.

"They just convey deepness," Sakura snapped.

Ino snorted. "Hah!"

"You're one to talk!" Sakura whirled on her. "Sai is about as deep as leaky kitchen sink!"

"Oi, oi, oi!" Shikamaru cut in when it was becoming apparent that the two girls were beginning to square off in a prelude to a hair-pulling contest.

"Save it for when we have some mud around," Chouji reminded them, which was a genius comment because Ino and Sakura quickly forgot that they hated each other and were united once more in their mutual exasperation with the male gender.

"Urgh," Ino, huffed.

"Men," Sakura agreed.

"I think, I think…" Naruto was tapping his chin. "That Nibiki medic girl!"

"Ew, what?" Sakura glared at him. "You can't be serious."

"Yeah, she's pretty fine," Kiba added.

"But she's fat," Ino protested.

"What's wrong with that?" Chouji asked.

"Nothing," Ino said quickly.

Shikamaru shook his head. "She's not fat, she just goes in and out where she's supposed to. She's alright-looking, I suppose… bit of a wearisome attitude, though."

"Where is that cow anyway?" Ino asked moodily. "I haven't seen her at the hospital."

"Kakashi-sensei took her on that mission," Sakura said quietly.

"Eh?" Naruto looked at her oddly. "Why?"

"Needed a medic," Sakura said, growing even more quiet.

"If he needed a medic, why didn't he just take you?"

Sakura's response was now so quiet that no one could make it out. Ino laughed. "It's either because you're a crap medic or he fancies her, and either way you – hey!"

"No more sake for you," Shikamaru said, holding her half-empty bottle out of reach. "You're a mean drunk."

"Sakura knows I'm only joking," she hiccupped. "What does she care about what Kakashi-sensei thinks anyway? She's got a super-secret stud boyfriend that she's keeping all to herself and not sharing with us."

Sakura put her head in her hands, wishing the world would stop swimming about. "Ino," she ground out warningly, but by then it was far too late.

"Yeah, I heard that, who is it?" Naruto asked, and even Sasuke opened his eyes long enough to focus on her in a semi-interested sort of way. In fact, everyone was looking at her now, apart from Ino who was still trying to climb over Shikamaru in order to retrieve her bottle.

"There's no one," she said stiffly, in her best 'just drop it' tone. "Don't listen to Ino, she's drunk."

"Bull! Shit!" Ino reared over her, having given up on her quest to recover her drink. "I followed you home a few nights ago, and when I came round in the morning, you arrived after me! Where were you all night?"

All eyes turned back on Sakura.

"I took an early morning walk," Sakura said lamely.

"You were gone a previous night too," Sasuke remarked, making all eyes swing to him since it was the most he'd spoken since they arrived. "Naruto and I came around in the morning to remind you about the review, but you weren't there. Your neighbor said you'd never even come home. Where've you been staying?"

"I – um – even if it was any of your business – which it isn't! – yes, I staying at someone else's place, but it's over now and I don't want to talk about it." Sakura folded her arms.

"So he dumped you?" Ino droned.

"No!" Sakura snapped. "No one was dumped – it was a mutual separation."

Ino leant over to Chouji and whispered, not so discreetly, "She was dumped."

"Ok, ok, leave Sakura alone. If she doesn't want to talk about it, that's her business," Shikamaru said. "Let's talk about something other than he mystery ex-boyfriend."

Sakura felt a wave of gratitude towards the lazy boy.

"Like, when do you think Kakashi-sensei will be back? And how long do you think it takes him to get his hair like that?"

Some god up there was laughing at her, Sakura was sure by now.

By the time she was finally allowed to go home she was quite officially sozzled. Her friends were a great bunch of people to hang out with when they weren't strapping her to an interrogation chair and trying to extract information that would hurt them more than it would hurt her. Hopefully in time they would forget about this 'mystery' boyfriend, although perhaps the process would be sped up if she were to go out and get a new and much less mysterious boy.

But Sakura just didn't feel like it. Unless there was a boy out there who looked, acted and made love exactly like Hatake Kakashi, she was not interested.

She arrived home feeling warm and woozy and got into bed without removing any of her clothes. And while Sakura enjoyed peace and quiet and solitude… it just wasn't the same when there was no one there waiting for her. It was odd because normally she was delighted to have a whole bed to herself after having to share one with a boy, putting up with the snoring and the cold feet and the hard elbows. But sharing a bed with Kakashi, while brief in the long run, had seemed natural. He'd never hogged the covers (there was always plenty of spare when you lay that closely entwined), he'd never snored (enough to wake her at least), and the occasional nudge of his cold feet had only made her giggle.

She missed him. Especially in a lonely moment like this. She wondered where he was at that moment, how he was doing on his mission and hoped to mercy that he was safe. There was always the possibility that a ninja wouldn't return from a high-class mission like this, but since Kakashi had never failed so far she didn't feel the need to worry. It would only be an insult to him.

It had been the best decision to break up with him, hadn't it? It was better that she wasn't with him now, right? And it was a good thing that she was here on her own, deeply drunk and drooling onto her pillow rather than with him in some distant, terribly romantic foreign place with only body heat to keep each other warm?

"Guh…" she complained, and pulled the blanket over head.

It would be awfully inconvenient if she'd gone and fallen in love with the most inconvenient of all people…

Sakura woke to the sound of someone banging on her head with a hammer. Pain pressed behind her eyes as she sat up and tried to remember why she'd gone to bed fully dressed. At least it saved her some time in stumbling out of bed and answering the door to whoever was knocking on it so insistently.

The door handle was the only thing keeping her upright as she peered through the open gap. "Yess…?" she slurred.

"The hospital needs you, Sakura-san." A paramedic.

Sakura straightened and rubbed a hand over her face. "Is there an emergency?"

"Team Kakashi has returned," the paramedic said carefully. "There have been… casualties."

Sakura's hand dropped and she stared at the man. "Oh," she said. "Is he…?"

"I don't know," the paramedic said apologetically. "You have to come quickly."

"Yes. Right. Um. I-I need to get my shoes. Should I change? No… no… shoes… where are my shoes?" Sakura dithered for a moment, unsure what to do. She pulled on a boot and then a sandal, then realized her mistake and lost the sandal to put on the other boot. She turned back to the apartment, wondering if she should find some fresh clothes –

Kakashi could be dying, you stupid girl!

Sakura's fogged brain snapped into a new focus and she shook her head. "Ok, I'm ready," she said, pushing past the paramedic so hurriedly that she nearly bowled him over, forgetting to shut her apartment door after her in the process. She left him to deal with that.

She almost flew through the streets, cutting through every shortcut she knew and simply throwing herself over anything that got in her way, be it a pipe, a person or a building. It was only scant minutes that she arrived at the hospital, crashing through the doors and almost leaving rubber marks as her boots skidded on the lino floor. She knocked at least one nurse over in her haste to get to the EU ward, and the moment she arrived, Shizune grabbed her arm.

"Help me, quickly!" Shizune pulled her over to a gurney where deathly pale man lay. He was bleeding profusely from wound on his stomach.

But he was not Kakashi.

"Where is Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked.

Shizune just shook her head. "This man was on Kakashi's team. Heal him now."

Sakura was in no position to argue, and she couldn't walk away to find Kakashi now even if she wanted to. It wasn't in her nature to leave a man to die, no matter who her heart prioritized first. Immediately, despite her hangover, despite her fear that Kakashi was already dead and they simply weren't telling her, despite the fact that she really needed a shower and a change of clothes, she got to work, leaning over the unconscious man as she pumped chakra into his damaged system.

A ruptured stomach and liver… he was at death's door. He'd lost so much blood and three other medics were working hard on keeping his heart going. She wondered if Kakashi was in the same condition. Then she closed her eyes and knew she had to shut him out of her mind if this man was going to live. He had as much right to her full attention and care as Kakashi. He didn't deserve anything less.

Slowly but surely, the broken pieces mended. Membranes locked and recovered and even new skin began to grow. It wasn't until Shizune laid a hand on her shoulder that she realized it was safe to stop. He wasn't completely mended, but now the damage was superficial. All he needed was more blood, and that was not something chakra could fix.

"That was good," Shizune said, impressed. "That was quick. Tsunade will be pleased, but save yourself some energy. Someone else needs attending."

Sakura was led across the ward and behind another curtain to find another unconscious man lying prone on a bed with a deep wound in his back. A nurse had already cleaned it, and she stepped back to allow Sakura to do her thing. Another thought for Kakashi flitted through her head and she found herself increasingly frustrated that she didn't know what had happened to him.

She concentrated her energy above the man's wound and closed her eyes. It was just a flesh wound – deep but not fatal. No vital points had been hit and his nerves were thankfully still intact. It didn't take long to mend it completely, and the moment she was done, Sakura stepped back and fixed Shizune with a strong-minded look. "Where's Nibiki? She should have taken care of this."

And then she knew. Because Nibiki was a good medic and there was no way she would have allowed team mates to come home in this condition. Not unless…

Shizune seemed to wilt a little. "Nibiki's dead, Sakura."

There wasn't much that could be said to that. A lump formed in Sakura's throat and she realized her hands were shaking. She clenched them into fists and swallowed hard. "And what about Kakashi-sensei?"

Shizune nodded to a door that led off the ward into a private room. Without a backwards glance, Sakura moved towards it.

"Wait – no – Sakura, you can't go in there-"

Sakura pushed the door open regardless, her heart somewhere in the region of her throat.

Inside the room, two heads turned at her sudden entrance. He was sitting on the edge if the hospital bed, sans a jacket and a shirt and with his right arm in a sling, but looking in remarkably good health despite this. But his hitai-ate was gone, and when he turned his head toward her it was with one eye closed and the other dark and bleak. Suddenly Sakura didn't feel so reassured that he was ok.

He looked broken.

"Sakura, get out," Tsunade told her firmly.

Sakura looked at Kakashi again, but his gaze fell away to the floor. At that moment, leaving was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Yes, shishou. Sorry, shishou. Sensei." She bowed her profuse apology and quickly walked out again.

Her eyes found Shizune once more, who offered her a sad smile and an helpless shrug before moving away to return to the injured patients. Sakura hovered by the door, wondering exactly what to do with herself other than pace, fret, and wring her hands like an anxious relative outside a delivery room.

She didn't have to wait too long before the door opened again and Tsunade emerged. "He still has some laceration on his back that needs tending to. You can do that. I have to go inform Nibiki's family…"

A lead weight had settled in her stomach. It was always hard to cope with another loss and every now and then a life would disappear and sometimes it was someone you knew, usually someone you didn't, and occasionally it was someone you hadn't particularly liked at all. Nevertheless, it was odd to think she'd never see Nibiki again, and she didn't envy Tsunade's duty now to inform the girl's parents.

But perhaps what Sakura was most concerned about was that it had happened on Kakashi's watch. She'd never known him to lose a subordinate. He was always so careful about the safety of his teammates…

Sakura tentatively slipped into the room and shut the door behind her with a soft click. Kakashi was still sitting on the bed, too busy looking at the floor to acknowledge her entry, and for a moment Sakura was struck with uncertainty. What was she supposed to do now? What could she possibly say that could make it alright? Would he even want her company right now? Should she be formal and professional with him and heal his wounds or be his friend and attempt to heal the unseen ones?

She gingerly took a step forward and Kakashi's head came up like he'd only just noticed her there. Something in his gaze softened and he held his hand out to her, and suddenly all that uncertainty and worry vanished and Sakura knew exactly what to do. Without a moment's more of hesitation she moved forward and wrapped him in a warm embrace, careful not to jostle his injured arm or back.

So much for their agreement to never acknowledge their brief relationship again.

He leant his chin on her shoulder and she laid her head on his. Together they breathed a silent sigh of relief and soaked in the physical contact that had been denied from each other for over a week. There didn't seem to be anything to say. Words couldn't hope to communicate as much as a simple touch could, and this embrace said it all. Hi. How are you? I'm glad you're alive.

With great reluctance she drew back to face him and ran her fingers threw his hair as he closed his eyes. Snags and knots were combed out with her fingers and his left hand rested lightly on her hip as she stroked through his dirty locks. "Nibiki died," he said dully, breaking the quiet but not the soft mood. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" she asked sadly. "It's not your fault."

He opened his right eye but it remained leveled on the floor.

Her fingers caught his hair and tugged. "It's not your fault," she said more assertively.

The eye that met her gaze was blank and unreadable. "We were ambushed not long after we landedon one of the Yura Isles. They aimed straight for the team medic first of all. It's an increasingly common tactic to do away with your enemy's only means of medical support. They got her with a kunai in the back of the head and she died instantly."

Sakura's hands dropped to his knees and she bit her lip as she felt bitter tears stinging behind her eyes.

"There were eight of them. We only just managed to force them into a retreat and I had to use the emergency teleportation scrolls to save Denji. Or Daisuke. Probably both." Another wave of guilt seemed to wash over him. "I had to leave her there, Sakura. Hunter nins have already been sent out to retrieve her body, but it'll take a week to find her. I doubt there'll be much left of her by then."

"It's not your fault," she said again. "You did the right thing under the circumstances."

"It would have been you."

Sakura's eyes darted to his, but he was still looking at the floor. "Don't be stupid," she scolded. "There's no way you could know that."

"If you'd agreed to go on that mission, it would have been you lying dead on the roadside in some backward little country right now," he said wearily.

"Why are you thinking about that?" she demanded angrily. "I'm not dead, I'm right here. Why worry about something that didn't happen? Nibiki's gone, and it's sad… but I'm not the same as Nibiki, sensei. Please give me some credit."

She moved around the bed to stand behind him. "Now, Tsunade says you have laceration on your back. I need to lift up your shirt to heal you."

Not much of his shirt was actually left at the back. A lot of it seemed to have been ripped off and the exposed flesh was grazed and riddled with dirt and grit. "I see your back stopped your skid then?"

Very carefully, she lifted the shirt up and ordered Kakashi to hold it in place above his shoulders as she quickly got to work cleaning the wounds with an ointment that would sooth and disinfect. This was quite a painful procedure, but Kakashi didn't even flinch. Only occasionally did he hold his breath when she eased a larger splinter of rock out from his skin.

Once she was convinced he was clean, she set to work with her chakra to mend the wounds. She took her time, concentrating on doing her best work for him, but she had already expended a lot of energy on her previous two patients and she had to force herself to stop once the broken skin had smoothed out. It still looked angry and raw in places, but it was the best she could do right now.

With a shaky sigh she leant her hands on the mattress. "Ok. All done," she whispered.

Kakashi dropped his shirt and stood up, flexing his shoulders. "Thank you," he said distractedly. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

He turned slowly to face her and for a moment there was an awkward pause. Sakura straightened despite her fatigue and switched on an automatic smile. "I guess you're free to go then," she said cheerfully.

He took a breath as if about to say something meaningful and profound… but then he seemed to deflate and sighed out a simple, "Yeah", took up his jacket and torn hitai-ate and moved towards the door. Something like a hanky dropped from one of his pockets.

"Kakashi-sensei?" she called after him, but he didn't stop.

He marched out the door and nearly bumped into Shizune who herself had been about to enter. He uttered an unintelligible apology and then was gone. Shizune looked at Sakura.

"First teammate he's lost in five years," she said knowingly. "It can't be easy for him. I was going to tell him Denji and Daisuke were going to be fine, but I suppose that wouldn't do much to cheer him up. Poor Nibiki though… she was one of the best we had. She'll be missed."

Sakura sighed. "I think I'm going to go home," she said tiredly.

"Of course. Sorry for dragging you out in the middle of night."

"No, it's fine." Sakura smiled softly and rubbed her mused hair. She moved to the door to pass Shizune, but then came to a halt. "Do you think he'll be ok?" she asked.

Shizune pursed her lips. "Hatake Kakashi hasn't been ok since he was seven years old. I wouldn't worry about him if I were you. He'll cope."

Sakura wasn't positive she understand exactly, but she nodded anyway and headed home. For the second time that night she fell into bed alone and this time managed to kick off most of her clothes in the process.

She thought about Nibiki; poor, pretty, vain Nibiki whose body now lay abandoned far from home. She shuddered and wondered if perhaps things had gone slightly different it really would have been Sakura in her stead. Would Kakashi have been as upset if she'd been the one to die? It had obviously crossed his mind, which left Sakura a little puzzled.

Why had he been so stricken at the thought of Sakura being the one?

Was it possible that Kakashi actually cared about her a great deal more than she realized?

It was funny. She could have sworn she'd seen something fall out of Kakashi's pocket as he'd opened the door before her. An expensive looking hanky from what she'd glimpsed, and Shizune had every mind to find it and put it on one side in case he came back looking for it. But where was it?

After Sakura left, Shizune was down on her hands and knees hunting for the scrap of cloth. It wasn't behind the door, and it hadn't been kicked under the bed. Shizune frowned as she peered beneath the defibrilator machine. "Ah-hah!" she proclaimed as she spotted the culprit cloth and snatched it up off the dusty floor.

"Oh, goodness..." Her eyes widened when she realised it was a pair of ladies underwear. She bit her lip against a mirthful smile as she examined them. What on earth was Kakashi doing with these? Either he had a lady friend or a very peculiar hobby.

The panties were small, lacy, delicately stiched and definitely expensive even if a little impractical. Shizune was intrigued when she realised there was a name inked into the label. Clearly these belonged to a woman who either visited the bathhouse regularly or whose academy habits were dying hard. She peered closer to make out the characters of the name...

...and felt ice plunge through her veins.

"Oh... goodness..."