….Hi again….
I know it's been a while and I apologize, but life kind of got in the way and… yeah. I'm super excited to keep writing this story, it's getting really good! Thanks for keeping up with it!
McCoy sighed as he lowered his hand from knocking and pressed his ear to the door. He heard the shower running. He supposed he shouldn't be annoyed that Jim was finally relaxing, but it didn't help his nerves. He had to talk to him, and all of the waiting was making him nervous. He pounded on the door again. The water stopped and he yelled, "Jim! Open up, it's me!" He waited.
"Just a second!" he heard the answering yell and his heart jumped up into his throat. It nearly stopped when Kirk opened the doors half-naked and dripping. He ran a hand through his wet hair, getting some water on Leonard in the process, and looked up at McCoy sheepishly. Goddamn, that man is adorable. Is he blushing? Holy shit, get it together. Serious face. The doctor wiped the drops off of his face with his sleeve and cleared his throat, preparing to explain. Kirk beat him to it.
"Sorry, you were early," he stammered out. McCoy almost laughed at how embarrassed he sounded. Whatever, I'll ask later. "Yeah, I am. I, uh, I just finished early."
Jim still stared at him. "Yeah. Good, that's, good. Um, can you just give me a second?"
McCoy nodded his assent, not quite sure what to say. He followed Jim as he turned around and headed back into the bathroom. He had to stop himself before he followed him in there, too. Jesus Christ man, get it together. He shifted on his feet as he waited, somehow feeling even more uncomfortable than he felt a minute ago. He had no clue what he would say. No fucking clue. His plan back in Sick Bay started to crumble. He could feel his blood pressure and heart rate rising. Hell, he could hear it.
He was getting ready to bolt when Jim reappeared in the bathroom doorway, this time fully dressed and mostly dry. He was leaned against the doorframe, looking absolutely sinful. Leonard sighed too loud and passed a hand over his face.
"Are you okay?" Kirk shot him a look full of concern and started to approach him. Shit, act normal.
"Yeah, I'm fine," came out a little too high-pitched. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Yes, I'm fine, I'm just…Tired." Oh yeah, that sounded composed. Don't fuck up now. "How are you feeling? You'd better tell me that you spent the entire time alone without even going near a padd." Jim flushed a deep red color, and McCoy snorted. He probably took one of those damn things into the shower.
Kirk smiled a bit, but brushed it off. "Are you sure you're okay? You look a bit… Unsteady."
Oh damn. "Yeah, uh, I suppose I am. Listen. Can we talk?"
Kirk's eyes flashed with something, McCoy couldn't tell, and he said, "Yeah, sure. Sure. What about?"
Leonard rubbed his face again. This is it. Here we go. Shit. "Um, well, you know that… know that I'm… still, experiencing, er, residual effects from… well, you know."
So articulate. That was impressive.
But Jim got it. "Oh, you want to talk about that. Sure, that's okay… That's good! It's good that you, uh, want to talk it out. That's good." He placed his hand on the doctor's arm.
"Ummm… Well – not that, exactly…" McCoy breathed out. His features contorted as he was sucked back into his imprisonment. He felt his stomach twist even more, and his chest felt tight. He tried to swallow the sudden flow of saliva but his throat was closing. Shit, not now. He started panting and clenched his fists, willing it to stop. But of course it didn't.
Jim's face was blurry as he said, "Oh my god, Bones, are you all right?"
"I-" Leonard was cut off when he started shaking. A panic attack. Now, of all times. When he had to talk to Jim, he had to tell him – fuck.
"Come on, sit down." Jim grabbed his other shoulder and guided him to the bed. McCoy sat down, shaking, and drew his knees up to his chest. His arms hugged them protectively, and he buried his head in his knees. From there he said, muffled, "I'll be okay. Give me a minute."
Jim made a funny sound in the back of his throat. "I doubt that. Let me help, I'll go down to sick bay, tell me what you need." He made a move to get up. McCoy's arm shot out and grabbed his. "No. Stay. Here. With me," he grunted out, still shaking.
"Ok, I'll stay. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere," Kirk said, and he sat down next to Leonard on the bed, not quite sure what to do. He settled on draping an arm over the doctor's shoulders and rubbing his arm in what he hoped was a soothing way. "I'm not going to leave, I promise. You're safe, I'll stay right here, and you'll be safe."
After a while, Kirk didn't know how long, the worst of the shaking subsided and Leonard just trembled occasionally. He eventually picked his head up, blue eyes wide and sparkling. "Please don't leave."
Jim placed his hand carefully on Leonard's cheek. His skin was burning. "I promise. I won't leave. I'll never leave you." Leonard laid down and fell hard asleep in Jim's bed.