New York City Friends
Season 3, Episode 14: When Is Enough Enough?
Starring~ Michelle McCool, Ashley Massaro, Candice Michelle, and Torrie Wilson.
You cannot put a New Yorker in New Jersey and expect her not to say "enough is enough".
The night was simple- nothing too special, other than dinner with your husband and his nosy, pushy family. Michelle sat down with all of them- each more nosy and pushy than the person seated next to them.
They were all still getting used to Michelle, the newest member of the family, and vise-versa. Michelle was trying to remember names and she was trying to bond with each individual. But it's impossible to bond with somebody when you two have completely different outlooks on life.
Even the five month old baby, little Jamie, was getting a stronger grip of the large family. Michelle just couldn't find her place there.
I felt like Chanel in a room full of Old Navy.
"So Michelle, when do you plan on bringing a new addition to this family," one of Jack's aunts asked her. "Jack seems pretty ready, but what about you, in a year or so?"
Michelle laughed it off, with a mouth full of mashed potatoes and almost nearly choked while laughing. "Well, Jack is ready for everything... he was quite spontaneous when he proposed, but I'm not like that... so I'd say not within the next year," Michelle answered.
Jack shook his head. The entire family at the table stayed quite for a second, but little Jamie cried on the spot for his parents to change his dirty diaper. The mother got up to change him of course, which just made Michelle feel more confident about her response.
When a woman is angry she locks herself in a room, when a woman is sad she distracts herself, but when a woman has had enough she packs her bags.
The Hamptons kept Candice entertained during the Summer, but she was already heading towards Fall and everybody knows Manhattan is the best during the fall. The Hamptons King did not understand, he tried stopping her, "You can't possibly be leaving all of this behind, we still have one whole month left out of Summer and just imagine how prestige will be when the Winter parties come," he told her.
Candice ignored him, everything from the past three months she had packed in only three suitcases. She opened the door and hollered at the cab-driver to come and help her with the bags.
"I'll make one last appearance at tonight's party... but you're responsible for throwing the party, I am sick and tired of doing all of the work for a bunch of ungrateful socialites," Candice told him and then walked off. "It'd better be a great party, after all, it's the last one before the queen steps down!"
It wasn't a mansion near the beach she was going back to, it was a penthouse in Park Avenue... which is still pretty fucking expensive.
Before getting in the cab, the Hamptons winds gave her chills that went up and down her legs. The warm sun laid on her back and it gave her a sense of summer nostalgia. Before getting in the cab she looked out the window one last time and she wasn't going to miss the place.
Nobody ever gets tired of Summer, but Candice did.
Torrie has had enough of Seth since a long time ago... but she stuck by because why the hell not?
The book sales were slowly decreasing, so Torrie's publishers were setting up all these touring spots for her to promote the book. The next stop on the book tour was the one and only City Hall library.
Just when she was about to walk down to the subway, Seth caught her while on his way to her place. "Where are you headed, I was going to stop by your place," Seth said.
"I have to promote my book," Torrie told him, "Maybe we can hang out another time?"
Seth nodded, with his back arched and his head facing down. "You're always off, it's like you don't have time for me," he said.
It looks like Seth wasn't having enough of Torrie.
Torrie felt bad, she just realized that she was the 'Brock' in the relationship. He wanted to spend time with her, but she was too busy for him and he felt unwanted... just like she did when she was with Brock.
Torrie's guilt got the best of her. "You can come with me, then we can go somewhere afterwards," Torrie suggested. "I'd love to go, I can recreate the moment I first bought a book from you and everybody is going to be drawn in to buy a copy too," he said.
And that's when I got to wondering- When is enough enough? Torrie has had enough of Seth, but why is she still running around with him?
Well maybe, enough is enough when you feel yourself more filled with him than with yourself.
After dinner, Jack and Michelle went back home. Usually Jack liked to stay and chat with his family, while Michelle helped with the dishes... but Jack insisted on leaving right away and he did not look too happy.
The married couple had a quite ride home, Jack finally turned to her. "What was that back there... you laughing off the idea of starting a family with me," Jack asked.
"Sorry, but I'm just not sorry... it felt like a random question! I never even brought up the topic, ever! So for them to ask just because I'm a woman felt funny to me, we're in the 21st century... not all women want children," Michelle told him.
Jack shook his head, "So what I want is just thrown out the window," Jack asked. Michelle felt like throwing herself out of the moving vehicle, "Oh my god, Jack I moved here and you sure as hell didn't care about what I wanted, no you just pulled me here," she let him know.
Jack stayed silent, but Michelle kept on going. "I'll be ready when I'm ready... I'm not ruling children out, I just know right now is not the moment," she said.
Women know that sometimes you just have to lose a few battles, but men always seem to want to win them all.
Jack grunted and said, "You'll never be ready... it's like your living halfway, with one foot on this marriage and your other foot on your own separate city life."
Michelle rolled her eyes and she rolled the window down too, just to get a fresh breath of air. "I will be ready when it's my decision... and I'll prove you wrong, because I will be ready one day and yes I am living that way! Because that's called balance Jack," Michelle made a point.
This car was going by about 70 miles per hour, but our marriage seemed to be stuck on a red traffic light.
Enough of a human being is easy to have- but can you ever really have enough of a penis? I mean, after all, they are usually only about 6 inches.
Ashley was again sexting with a new guy. His picture was kind of dark, you could barely see him. But he looked 'cute' according to Ashley's lonely mind.
After Enzo left her unexpectedly, she just wanted a new guy to wow her. Sexting seemed to be the only way to get a guy's interest, so she went along with the naughty conversation.
It was all harmless, until the guy sent his penis. It was short and uncircumcised, with ginger-red hair sprouting up from the base. The tips of his pubic hairs reached the shaft of his penis, that's how small his penis was and that's how bushy his pubic hair was.
Ashley gasped, she threw her phone in disgust. "What the fuck," she yelled.
I was just kidding, it is very possible to have enough of penises. No matter how little and insignificant they are to your life, one can only take so much of a penis, yet men don't understand that.
Ashley backed away from her phone, which was laying on the floor upside down. She shook her head and began to cry.
After finally taking time to process the ugliness of that dick, Ashley finally picked up her phone. Before even deleting the app, she blocked him just for extra security and then she deleted the app.
Ashley ran to her bed and she cried all day. Ashley never got to see Enzo's penis, they never had sex, but that was more than alright with Ashley. It wasn't even about the ugly penis, it was more about the loneliness, and just a little bit about the penis.
We all cry about ugly penises at one point or another, but loneliness cries for us and it pushes us towards any man for a chance that he'll save us.
Later that afternoon, the big moment finally arrived. The Hamptons Queen would end her reign at her last party.
Candice wore an Armani white jumpsuit, she paired it up with some golden Prada heels, giant dark-tinted Versace sunglasses, and a gorgeous Tiffany & Co. diamond necklace.
The party wasn't thrown by Candice, she didn't have the energy for that, yet she was the center of attention at that party.
Before arriving, Candice thought for a second that she would enjoy herself at that last Summer party for an hour or two and then leave... but that all changed when she overheard yet another rumor about herself.
Candice realized that nobody changed- all of the cliques and groups of people that came to all of her parties were the same people who were frozen in time. From the beginning some of these people would gossip and spread rumors about Candice, and months later they were still doing the same thing, they continued gossiping like teenagers- because they were stuck in time.
Candice had enough of not having enough. She thought parties would fulfill every little empty hole within her, but they just weren't enough to make her happy.
The Hamptons Queen walked all the way to the top of the staircase and everybody turned to look at her standing there. She raised her hand like a royal queen would, waving it so majestically, and then flipped everybody off. The toast became a roast.
Everybody was shocked. Candice then grabbed her diamond necklace and she broke it. It was Tiffany, so it took a while for candice to really break it into pieces. Candice then grabbed the broken pieces, some diamond, and she threw it into the crowd of party people.
They all didn't know how to feel, but regardless, they went crazy and started catching the diamonds. The Hamptons King watched from the corner, he didn't try to stop her because he knew he couldn't.
On her way out Candice grabbed two glasses and filled them up with pink champagne... then she turned around for the entire bottle of pink champagne.
It was a perfect way to end a reign. It was dramatic, memorable, and extravagant.
After taking questions and after talking about the book a little, Torrie began distributing the books. Only about seven people got in line to buy a book, the others all scattered away throughout the rest of the library.
Seth sat in the front row, waiting for Torrie to be done. He saw and right away jumped in to help, "Hey, I'd like to buy two copies... one for me and one for A-Rod," Seth said out loud.
The people in the line all turned to him, without much care. "Who are you," one of the women asked. The man behind the woman laughed sarcastically and responded, "Some Yankee who thinks he's some big hot-shot."
Seth felt the slap, "Ey', fuck you man," Seth yelled at the man. "And you're all fucking stupid for not buying Torrie's book... I mean, sure it's not a groundbreaking piece of literature or anything that can really impact the way you think, but it's worth the twelve dollars," Seth began to go off on everybody.
Not only did Torrie have enough of him, but everybody else in that library did too.
The line went from seven people to none. Everybody walked away, rolling their eyes, laughing under their breaths, and ready to tell their friends how they witnessed a Yankee lose it.
"Seth you drove everybody away," she cried out. "I was just trying to help you," he responded after finally cooling down.
"Gosh, you're too deep into your own world that you don't notice when somebody is just trying to help," he told her. "Seth, you're always in your own baseball world... and I know what it's like to want to be a part of somebody's life, I get that you were trying to help... and I'm not mad," Torrie told him. The argument ended right then and there.
The two packed up the unsold books in a box and they headed out.
We'll never find out if the people in that library would've grown tired of Torrie's book- Zero sold.
We will also never find out if Enzo would've grown tired of Ashley.
After crying underneath her sheets, Ashley finally picked herself up. When she got up her head felt dizzy, lying down all day in the heat of July was not the best idea. She began spinning and could feel herself about to faint.
Ashley tried holding on, but everything turned black. The fall felt like it lasted a million years, when in fact it lasted for less than ten seconds. The hits she took on her way down felt like boxing punches.
All of her life came flashing through her eyes, except for Enzo. Once Ashley finally regained consciousness, she right away realized something. Enzo was never a real part of her life, he was just like some imaginative dream man she made up... he was never real.
She got up and ran out of her loft. She ran all the way to the Brooklyn Bridge Park- blocks of running and a cab got her there.
Ashley never had enough of Enzo. Maybe that's the way love was meant to work? You only get so much out of a person, until finally they fade out of your life. Unfortunately, Ashley never got to have enough of Enzo... a man who would forever remain a mystery.
Ashley had bruises all over her arms from fainting minutes ago, but she didn't care, she's used to having a pain that nobody could heal or care for. So she sucked it up.
She looked up at the moon and began to cry, not because of Enzo, but because the universe seemed to hate her. The universe was this big mysterious creature, yet it never seemed to let Ashley win at least one.
She laid back on the grass, looking up at the milky blue. The universe and its wonders helped bring ease to Ashley and maybe one day she'll get over Enzo and the idea of him, but it'd be tough listening to 'Iris' again without thinking about Enzo. But who knows, maybe she'll eventually think of the moon when she listens to that song.
One thing's for sure, Ashley would never get tired of the magical, vast, and deep universe.
Candice didn't want to go straight home. So she went to the beach, to truly appreciate it. She spent an entire summer in the Hamptons but never once went to the beach.
She dialed Brooklyn, but he wouldn't pick up. She tried again another few times, but nothing.
Eventually Candice got tired, so she got on her knees and just stayed there watching the ocean's waves. She opened up her bottle of pink champagne and poured herself two cups, she then opened up some scotch and mixed it in to get more alcohol content.
Candice sat there- pink champagne, beautiful ocean, but unhappy. She felt like crying, she truly did feel hopeless. And then she figured it out, she was an alcoholic.
It looks like Candice had enough of herself.
Socially drinking meant having fun and socializing, which is what Candice thought she was doing the entire time. When in fact she was drinking alone to avoid her sorrows and loneliness.
Torrie and Seth finally made it to her place, but before Seth could run in like a little kid. Torrie stopped him softly, "Hey, I think we need to break up," she suggested, right up front.
Seth's eyes got watery, "Why?" His voice began to shake and Torrie felt terrible, because she's been in his shoes, but she had to go through with it. "An old friend once told me I needed to focus on myself instead of trying to force myself into a man's life... and that advice changed me, so I'm going to tell you the same," she explained, "Focus on Seth... not the Yankees, on Seth and what's inside of Seth."
And just like that advice changed her, it also went on to change Seth.
"You just don't fit in my life and I don't want to waste your time," Torrie explained to him. She then hugged him while he held back the tears, she kissed him on the forehead. And like some majestic goddess, she walked up the stairs to her apartment.
It was the classiest breakup in the history of breakups.
After the huge fight, Jack took off to a bar with his cousins. Michelle tried stopping him, but he went anyway.
"Mark, don't you dare just leave," Michelle yelled from the porch. He turned to her and laughed in her face. "You're such a hypocrite! You run to your little friends and Mark whenever something goes bad," Jack confronted her on. "You're the biggest fucking hypocrite, and after this you're probably going to run to the city!"
And I am done talking about this- I have had enough. So excuse the abrupt ending to this chapter.
Special Guest Stars~ Jack Swagger, The Hamptons King, and Seth Rollins.
Published On July 28, 2016.