Chapter 14
At once Hermione responded, the way Minerva believed she would. Head shaking, mouth forming the word 'no' as she began to back away from her. "No…I…ah….no….there really isn't anything…" Hermione's leg hit the seat of a chair as she continued her feeble escape. "We need…to talk about."
"There are many things we need to discuss, Hermione." Minerva's calm voice in utter contrast to her feelings.
Shame coursed through Hermione, "No…" She swallowed, How could I have been so wrong? "Look, I'm sorry…and…I'll get my things…" This time it was her shoulder that bumped the door, "And be gone within the hour."
"Will walking out my door stop the nightmares that wake you each night?" Her question stopping the fumbling young woman from exiting her office…and now make shift therapy room. "Or understand the need to feel…not alone? Prevent the sudden vulnerability that threatens to swallow you as you grip your wand tighter while walking even along Hogwarts' secure corridors? Or…" A thick Scottish burr resonating from her lips as she forced the last statement out, "Your mixed feelings, regarding…me."
Hermione's heart froze, as her breath caught and her eyes locked upon Minerva's. "I don't have…mixed feelings." The words were breathless, tears in her eyes. "I just…"
"Don't understand." Minerva finished, stepping closer to the torn younger woman.
Hermione choked, "No…" She shook her head, "I don't." She quietly admitted, eyes falling…
Minerva's voice thick as she replied. "That's alright." She whispered. "What happened between us, never should have. But it did. And both us need to find a way to get past it."
Hermione found the strength to meet the formidable woman's gaze despite her own anxiety and fears. "I've never felt…anything like that, before."
Minerva's stomach twisted and churned with guilt as brown eyes gazed up at her with barely repressed desire; replacing an innocence that used to stare up at her…and one that she took. "For that, I am sorry beyond measure, Hermione." Sincerity lacing her voice, "Your…first time, should have been with someone you loved."
Tears sprung into Hermione's eyes at Minerva's heartfelt words.
"Like young Ronald." The last of her words barely loud enough to reach Hermione's ears as Minerva's long fingers gently wiped away the tears streaming down the right side of her face.
"I…" Hermione cleared her throat, "You…were so gentle." She murmured as the gentle hand went to slip off her cheekbone. "That…I can't help but wonder…what it would be like, again." She caught it, in her own hand…fingers trailing a top of Minerva's before letting them go…and sliding up her bare arm…along her collarbone until fingers slipped up the milky neck…to the underside of her jaw…the entire time maintaining Minerva's stunning clear gaze.
Minerva reached up, taking the scintillating touch away from her burning skin. "But, I cannot, Hermione." She breathed heavily as she took a half step backwards to put some space between them. "We shared something, very poignant, personnel, and under a great deal of stress. And it..." She found the words she needed to say, but a small part of her…didn't want to. "Forged a bond between us and left us both, very raw…emotional…and exposed. And while, you may feel something for me…a connection perhaps…it was one derived from our circumstances. There is nothing substantial, just a notion and a feeling. One that is not accurate as we know so little of the other, not counting the decades that separate us in age." Her tender gaze taking the pain out of her far too accurate words as she finished saying, what needed to be said. "I am your mentor...your professor, and entrusted with your protection; not to take advantage of your innocence."
"You didn't, and…" Hermione acknowledged the very real truth…her thoughts of Minerva as being or potentially being her lover…were unrealistic. "Would never, but…" She had to ask…because she had to know. "Did you feel…anything the other night?"
The clear emerald eyes instantly became guarded, and she responded as she needed to. "It would have been hard not to." She answered obliquely. "As for anything else, Hermione…" A caring smile touching her eyes…she gave a soft shake of the head. "No…" She whispered, the lie spilling from her lips. "I didn't."
They stared into each others eyes for a few heartbeats, before Hermione slowly nodded…and accepting what was, and could not be. "I just…had to ask."
Minerva forced her smile to grow slightly larger to hide the pain holing out a small part of her soul as she walked forward…a hand momentarily splaying across Hermione's shoulder and squeezing as she passed. "I'll see you at breakfast."
"Minerva." Hermione turned…as the older witch's gaze met her over her shoulder. "Thank you."
xoxoxo
When Minerva stood, she felt her back stretch and pull as her eyes took in the black of the night. Brow raised, she glanced to the clock and felt the frown upon her face deepen; it was already a quarter past nine. Hermione should have been up here over an hour ago. Surely Irma didn't permit her to remain in the library after it was closed.
With a few wand flicks, her room snapped into order, the rest of her work would wait until Monday and as her office darkened, her footsteps were already echoing down the dimly lit corridor. Ten minutes later, she uttered the password to enter into the area after hours and instantly the torches sprung to life; and her concern mounted as she walked through the narrow passageways…only to find Hermione's work table, empty. Not only was Hermione vacant from the area; but the books, parchments, quills, ink wells, and sundry of other items were gone and put away.
Worry beat in her veins as she scanned the area one final time looking for clues, and then in a flurry of robes she was striding back the way she came; her feet practically flying across the aged flagstone as she made her way to the front doors…that burst open before her fingers grazed the wood, the air warm upon her face as she swept down the front lawns. You're being foolish, she thought as a hint of lemon balm fluttered by. She is undoubtedly at the Manor, ensconced in a book having already eaten…
The gate creaked open, and with purposeful strides she marched through. Ten, nine…six…her thoughts not upon her surroundings until she heard a rustle and Minerva's hand instantly tightened upon her wand as she spun about, immediately dropping to her knee as her cloak billowed out around her.
"Minerva." Severus drawled as he stepped from the shadows, face ashen, wand out.
"Severus." She clipped in response as she deftly stood, wand still held tightly within her grip.
"Such haste on Friday evening." He tilted his head, "Anything amiss?"
"I have personal business that needs to be attended to." She remarked, "Is there something you require, Headmaster?"
He stepped closer, his black cloak hiding the forest's edge. "Minerva." His voice turning grave, "I have news…that will be of great personnel interest to you."
The moonlight glinted off her glasses, sparkling across her eyes. "Is it so dire that it cannot wait?" She asked, wanting to ensure that Hermione was safe.
He reached forward, grasping her arm and pulling her closer; his voice dropping. "The Dark Lord wants you, alive."
Minerva's desire to flee his embrace became moot. "Why?" She asked, dreading the answer as Severus' face soured.
"An heir." Came haunted words, "As you are one of the most powerful witches in all of Europe and are still of age to bear children."
"How utterly fortunate." Her rebuke causing a faint smile to curl his lips.
"I thought you would be pleased with the notion." He retorted as his hand fell from her forearm.
"Not nearly as much as Bella."
Severus outright chuckled, "He won't take her unless there were no other options."
Her brow cocked, "Nor I him, surely he realizes this."
"Making you all the more enticing."
"And he told you of this?"
Severus reached into his robes, pulling out a thin silver vial. "If he does not capture you prior to all Hallow's eve, I am to give you this night before Hallow's eve and he will come to you…"
"And I shall believe he is who, exactly? My lover?" She scoffed, "She…" At Severus' widened eyes, Minerva nodded, "Was killed by Alecto's hand last year. So I very much doubt his ruse would work." Her eyes flickered to the bottle and then back to him, "But he is welcome to try."
Severus' grin widened, "He continues to underestimate you…as do most people. But, then again, so little is known of your personal life."
"And you." She nodded, "Like your personal affairs in the public eye as much as I."
"Touché." He replied as he slipped the vial back into his robes, eying the formidable woman with renewed interest. "And the woman?"
"My wife." Minerva replied matter of factly, "Now, if there is nothing else, Severus; I have need to go."
"Do be careful, Minerva." His voice betraying his concern, "He is intent upon having you."
"And you, Severus. There are many Order members who want nothing more than your blood."
"Does that include you?"
"If I had wanted it, I would have already taken it." She recanted and without looking back took the final three steps and with a soft pop left him alone, a quaint smile upon his face. Despite their differences, he did…like Minerva…as much as he could anyone; because, unlike so many others, you knew exactly where you stood with her. And it was wonderfully refreshing.
Xoxox
"Are you sure you're alright?" Jean asked as she stared down at her daughter, worry and concern openly expressed in her olive eyes.
Hermione gave a reassuring smile, "Fine." She leaned in, squelching the unease. This was her mother after all. She was safe. Her arms wrapped around her as familiar ones encompassed her, "I just missed you." She whispered honestly, voice becoming thick with emotion. "Very much."
Jean tightened her hold on her daughter, "And I you, pumpkin." She kissed the side of her head, "Are you sure you're alright?" She asked stepping away, her daughter's face drawn…stress evident in her brown depths.
Hermione nodded, "I had a close call a few weeks ago, that's all."
"Close call?" Carl questioned, "What are you two ladies talking about?"
Over the next hour, Hermione recapped the last few weeks of the summer, including the same story she recanted to the Weasley's and Ministry. Though with each passing minute, her personal fear was diminished…while her fear for her parents grew proportionately. As they did not have magic. And if they were that determined to get to Harry, through her or Ron…what about her parents? At least Ron's could defend themselves…
Would they be captured? Killed?
She didn't know what was worse; to be at home with her parents, knowing that their death was inevitable…and feeling powerless to prevent it. Or…being…away from Minerva; the woman whom she was irrevocably drawn to but could never have, again. And so she had left, to sort out her own feelings. Feelings she didn't know how to cope with, only that they were there, beckoning to her. No longer able to see her as she once was, her Professor; rather as a woman, who was so very much more.
Minerva,
I cannot thank you enough for your hospitality, however, my parents have returned home. As should I.
Hermione
The note fluttered from Minerva's fingers, drifting lightly to the table; her thoughts riddled with unease as deft fingers unconsciously uncapped the decanter and poured herself a glass in full measure.
The day has not gone well at all, she thought as she unclasped her bun. Her hair spilling down her back as she lifted the amber liquid to her lips; content to drown out the pain, the worry, the heartache, the upcoming war…the death…and Merlin forbid, the love…she shouldn't feel.
Xoxox
A/N: Have decided that this story will end in conjunction with when we first see Hermione at the beginning of book 7 ~ Bill & Fluer's wedding. Have tentatively sketched out a part 2 & 3 to this story arc if the story ends in a fashion that warrants a continuation. Will probably work on this for a bit on Sunday and then start again on Bonding, so expect a Bonding update next week (as long as this coming week isn't as horrifically long as this past one). Hope you enjoyed…