Kyle's POV:

"Are you alright?" Craig asks as he kneels down in front of me and places a hand on my shoulder. I look him straight in the eyes. I consider lying but there's probably not a single lie I could come up with that he'd believe.

"Does it look like I'm alright?" I ask with my weak voice. He simply shakes his head and smiles at me gently.

"It'll be okay..." He tells me softly. He's so close that I can smell his breath... Alcohol. He's probably been drinking quite a lot tonight. It's his party after all... I'm pretty sure he isn't even slightly sober right now.

"I'm such a crybaby..." I say as I brush his hand off my shoulder. He just shrugs when I say that. I sit up properly and I move over to the side and make space for him. I have a feeling he isn't gonna leave very soon anyway. He flops down next to me and we sit there quietly for a moment before he breaks the silence.

"What is it that's hurting you now?" He asks carefully.

"A lot has been going on in my life lately I guess... And person I care a lot about isn't doing too great either... But it feels like I can't do anything." I explain quietly, barely above a whisper, but Craig still seems to catch what I'm saying.

"You're talking about Kenny, right?" Craig asks me. I get a little taken aback at first but then I remember that Kenny looks like shit too, he isn't just feeling like it... I nod silently and more tears escape my eyes. I look down at the floor, feeling too awkward to look at Craig.

"It's okay..." Craig says gently as he throws an arm around my shoulder and just holds me. It feels safe. I've never thought of it before but Craig is actually very kind and comforting, strangely enough. "Kenny will pull through. I just know it... He's stronger than he seems right now..."

"You sure?" I ask shakily.

"I'm positive!" Craig exclaims. "Just be there for him and it's alright..."

"What good would I do? He doesn't even want me around..." I tell him sadly.

"You're wrong... He loves you... Of course he wants you around..." Craig explains. "He's just feeling too guilty to let you in."

"I guess that could be possible..." I answer silently. Craig's arm leaves my shoulder, and he then carefully grabs my chin and pulls it up, so now our faces are slightly too close. His golden eyes meet my own. Another tear falls down my face.

"You love him back, don't you?" Craig asks. He knows already. Craig is pretty observant so he figured it out. No point in hiding it...

I'm not sure if I could actually say it out loud so I just nod at Craig. He smiles at me, and I smile back, just a little. Craig then does something strange. He leans closer, still holding my chin in a firm grip, making it almost impossible for me to escape. He pulls his tongue out towards the side of my face and licks away the tears that's falling. I just stare at him. After the tears are gone he pulls back a little and smiles at me again.

"I'm sorry if this isn't really appropriate..." He whispers gently, and then he moves forward again. Craig's lips touch mine softly at first. I stare at him in disbelief. He then moves forward a little more, adding some pressure to my lips. He starts to kiss me with more force. Craig is drunk and probably doesn't know what the hell he's doing. But his head still seemed pretty clear just a moment ago so that's pretty strange...

His tongue slips inside my mouth and I feel a strong taste of alcohol and ashes. But that doesn't matter. I kiss him back, just cause I can. For a moment I try to pretend that it's Kenny, but it's practically impossible so I give up. Instead I just close my eyes and focus on kissing him back, and the song that I can hear playing in the background. It's actually the only song I like that's been played so far tonight. Time-bomb by All Time Low. I try to focus on the lyrics as I kiss Craig passionately even though the song doesn't fit the situation whatsoever. But who the fuck cares.

It was like a time bomb set into motion
We knew that we were destined to explode

I break apart for a few seconds to catch my breath, and Craig grins at me. I suddenly feel like what we are doing is wrong. I love Kenny. Why am I fooling around with Craig? He wraps his arms around my waist, in a way that is much rougher than what Stan used to, and then his lips connect with mine again. I lose my train of thought.

And if I have to pull you out of the wreckage
You know I'm never gonna let you go

Craig suddenly decides to push me down onto the floor. He lays on top of me, pinning my hands above of my head, kissing me furiously. The kissing is sloppy and it still tastes like alcohol and ash but it's kinda nice, and a bit different. I haven't had someone this close to me in a while so it feels really good.

We're like a time bomb
Gonna lose it, let's defuse it

That's when all the thoughts hits me. I'm transgender. If I were to go any further he'd know. And Craig Tucker and I aren't close at all or anything so I'm pretty sure he'd tell everyone if he found out. I don't want people to know. I don't want people to treat me differently. So I have barely told anyone. Almost no one knows my secret. I've really only ever told Stan, Kenny and Cartman... That one time 9 years ago, when it felt like it was all too much. But I've started to learn how to accept it lately. That I'm not the same as others, and that is okay. Yet I'm still terrified of being judged by other people.

I need to stop. Now. Not only because of that, but because of Kenny. This is not what I want. I want Kenny and only Kenny. I need to tell him. That it's alright. That I accept what he's done, but that he can change if he wants to. And I need to tell him that I love him as well. I'm almost at my breaking point now. I can't stand seeing Kenny like this so I need to confront him. I don't care about how hard it is. I have to.

Baby, we're like a time bomb
But I need it
Wouldn't have it any other way

I pull away from Craig and our lips disconnect. Kissing him was pretty interesting, but this has to stop now.

"Stop... Get off... Ehm... Kenny..." I start, trying to form a proper sentence, but my head spins too much, and I'm still gasping for air. Craig smiles at me and pulls away completely.

"Did I kiss some sense into you then?" Craig asks with a smirk.

"Huh?" I raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"Well... Do you know better what to do now?" He asks.

Actually I do know better now... I need to talk to Kenny. About everything that has happened. Wait. Wait. Wait. Don't tell me this was his plan all along?!

"Yeah..." I say quietly, still out of breath after all the kissing.

"Good... My plan worked then..." He says, his smirk growing wider. "I was planning to go a bit further if you wanted to... But you pulled yourself together pretty fast so that wasn't needed..."

Craig motherfucking Tucker. You calculating bastard. I'm not sure if I should be completely furious at him or really happy that he helped me out.

I simply stand up, adjust my clothes a little, and then I walk off while giving him the middle finger. Craig has done something similar to what I do now before so I just thought it would fit the situation really...

I feel better now. I don't feel great or anything, but I'm okay... I'm still a bit shaken up by tonight's events... And I'm pretty pissed at Craig... It was a strange night... But I feel like I finally know what to do. And it's nice, to have a goal. To have something to work towards, even though it's something as small as making Kenny McCormick listen to me while I'm talking. It's still nice. This is good. I need this.

I wonder what I'd want to do in the future. My life has been directionless for a long time so I never really thought much about it. My parents want me to become a lawyer, so I guess my mind settled for that idea. But now, I've realized that I have to do what I want to do with myself, and do it for me and no one else. That's why it didn't work out with Stan, cause I didn't do what I wanted for myself, I did what I thought he wanted me to do. I've only ever done things for other people's benefit in the past. But I won't anymore. I'll do what I want from now on. And all that I want right now is to be with Kenny McCormick.

When I stand on the top of the staircase and I'm about to go downstairs I turn around and look at Craig. He sits there on the floor where I left him, looking somewhat dumbfounded. But then he raises his hand and gives me the middle finger back, with a smile on his face. I smile back at him.

"Don't worry about it. I'll talk to Kenny someday soon... But I'm going home for tonight..." I simply state.

"Are you sure you don't wanna stay at the party for a bit longer?" Craig asks.

"Parties are lame... And drunk people are just gonna come onto you and try to fuck you if you stay for too long... See ya..." I tell him with a shrug and I walk down the stairs. I'm planning on going straight home and going to bed now.