A/N: Thank you all for the kind reviews on the last chapter! I didn't know if Daryl's little declaration was too soon, out of the blue, or too poetic for him but all your support and positive feedback stopped my second guessing! You all made my week! Hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think! Also, on a side note, I've taken the plunge and am now on tumblr, heaven help me. If you're so inclined you can find me on there and leave questions, comments, etc about any of my fics! Handle is the same as on here, ladybethdixon. See ya!
Daryl beat himself up for half the night and most of the ride over to the farm the next morning, barely noticing the rising sun or the warm breeze that wafted around him as his bike soared down the highway. He was ten kinds of idiot, saying that shit to Beth. He didn't know where any of it had come from, telling her he liked her singing, telling her he was looking at his dreams. What the hell was that anyway? Who was he to say shit like that to a girl like her? She'd stared at him in shock, clearly appalled by his veiled declaration. He could only hope that maybe she'd missed his meaning, maybe she'd brushed it off as soon as he left. Daryl adjusted his grip on the handlebars as the thought crossed his mind, realizing how stupid it was to even think that was a possibility. Beth was smart, compassionate and perceptive. She understood him better than anyone else he'd ever met, even though he'd barely said more than a few words at a time to her. If anyone would understand the hidden meaning in his words it'd be her.
As he pulled down the long driveway, watching as the house grew before him white and glowing in the early morning sunlight, he tried to think of a way to back track, to get them back to where'd they'd been before he'd made an ass out of himself. He'd meant what he said, even if he didn't completely understand what he was feeling half the time around her, but he really didn't want Beth to be uncomfortable or feel obligated to him because he worked for her father and was helping her with her house. He needed to find a way to clear the air between them, he decided as he pulled the bike up in front of the house and turned it off.
Resolved, he looked up and there was Beth, standing on the porch wiping her hands on a towel and smiling at him like he hadn't made a complete fool of himself the night before. He swallowed the ball of nerves rising inside him as he noted the way her long hair was pulled back and up off her neck and seemed to catch the morning light in a way that made it blaze gold.
"Hey," She called down to him as he threw his leg over the seat and stood up.
She blushed a little as he walked towards her, continuing to wring the towel and smiling a little unsteadily. He wanted to still the frantic motions of her hands, make her uneasiness go away. It was because of him that she was nervous, he knew. He'd said those things and now she was uncomfortable because of course she'd understood, of course she'd known what he'd been talking about. She probably understood what he'd been feeling in that moment better than he did and because of that she was feeling anxious, because of him. He needed to make this right between them, and soon. Beth deserved that from him at least. She didn't deserve for some guy to talk to her that way, to say things like that and not even understand what they meant. She deserved poetry and letters, not fumbling, cryptic messages even he couldn't decode.
"Hope you're hungry! I may have gotten a little carried away in there," She added, finally loosening the grip on the towel and meeting his eyes as he climbed the stairs to stand before her.
Daryl tried his best to smile, feeling the unfamiliar tug on the corners of his mouth as he replied, "Ain't gotta do nothin' fancy for me, Beth."
Beth waved off the comment as she turned to go inside, clearly trusting him to follow, "It isn't fancy, I promise. Just… a lot." She laughed a little and added, "I guess I really missed having a kitchen. Plus, having Daddy and you to cook for makes it that much more fun."
He followed her inside the house, letting her lead the way into the kitchen. He immediately noticed the spread of muffins, coffee, and juice laid out on the table and felt his stomach rumble in response. The house smelled like cinnamon mixed with bacon and Daryl took an appreciative sniff before asking, "Need any help?"
Beth threw a slightly more relaxed smile over her shoulder at the offer as she fiddled with something on the counter, "No, I have it under control. Go ahead and sit." Daryl sat, watching her back as she fussed over the griddle for a minute before turning and setting a heaping plate of french toast and bacon before him with a quiet, "Ta-Da!" She went back to the counter to retrieve her own plate which contained much smaller portions, then took the seat opposite him, pouring a mug of coffee for him and one for herself. She watched him for a moment over the rim of her mug before asking, "So… is everything okay?"
Daryl blinked at her for a moment, confused, and Beth laughed, "You can start, Daryl. You've got to be hungry."
Daryl nodded and took his first bite of the french toast. A gruff gruff moan escaped him before he could stop it and he felt the heat rising in his face as his eyes flicked up to look at Beth. He half expected that uncomfortable smile she'd been sporting earlier to make a return but she was beaming proudly instead as she asked, "Good, huh?"
"Your cobbler's got competition," He muttered, taking another bite.
Beth laughed and he relaxed when he noted her real smile was present, full of sunlight, "Oh good, I'm glad you like it. It's my mama's recipe. Her french toast has always been the best I've ever tasted. Mine isn't as good, even though I follow the recipe to the letter, but it's still better than a lot of restaurants." Beth flushed for a moment before hurriedly adding, "In my opinion, at least." She took a bite of her own and mimicked Daryl's moan of enjoyment, eyes playful as she chewed. Daryl watched her with a wry expression before taking a bite of bacon, washing it down with a gulp of fresh coffee.
"Gonna be five hundred pounds in no time," He said after a few more bites, wondering how in the world he was ever going to go back to eating fast food and gas station coffee after this.
Beth leaned forward with a wicked gleam in her eye and quipped, "Well, that is my goal." She chuckled lightly when his eyes met hers and went on, tone softening slightly, "So Daddy left with Lucky early this morning. He said he'd call throughout the day and let us know how everything goes."
Daryl nodded and replied as he reached for a glass of orange juice, "Sounds good. Dog's in good hands with your dad."
"Yeah," Beth agreed proudly, "He is. Daddy's the best vet in the area, even if he is retired. Dr. Morales still calls him in to consult occasionally, especially when it comes to the large animals."
"Like Nelly," Daryl suggested, chewing on a strip of bacon as he watched her talk about her father.
"Right," Beth said with a pleased smile, "Like Nelly."
They ate in silence for a while, the earlier discomfort seeming to ebb away slowly. Daryl watched her surreptitiously, taking quick glances when she looked down or away. Her shoulders had relaxed and her face was calm and there was a hint of her normal smile on her lips, a constant fixture it would seem. She seemed okay, not uncomfortable around him or wanting an explanation for his behavior the previous night. After a while, he began to relax too, enjoying the peaceful morning on the farm and looking forward to the day ahead.
After they'd both ate their fill, Beth began to clear the table. Daryl felt ten kinds of lazy just sitting there so he soon rose to help and it wasn't long before they fell into a steady rhythm: he'd bring the dishes to the sink, cleaning off any large food remnants and stacking them neatly next to the sink while she loaded the dishwasher and hand washed any larger dishes. When the table was cleared, he reached for a hand towel and began to dry the larger dishes she had set aside on the drying rack. Beth looked up at him with a grateful smile when he reached for the hand towel and she bumped him lightly with her shoulder as he stood next to her, saying thanks without needing words.
Everything cleaned up, Beth reached into the fridge and retrieved a large lunchbox, the kind that was insulated to keep your food cold for a long time. She pushed it into Daryl's arms with a wide smile and indicated, "Here. Lunch." He looked down at the lunch box and then looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Beth shrugged, "It's a surprise."
She started past him, calling over her shoulder, "I'm going to grab my stuff and then we can head over to the house, if that's okay?" She darted up the stairs, leaving him to stand patiently in the foyer. Not too long after she danced lightly down the stairs carrying an enormous purse/tote bag with an excited smile on her face. "Ready?" She asked and he nodded once, reaching to open the door for her. She went halfway through before pausing, turning back to face him. He raised an eyebrow in question, watching her face war with a myriad of emotions, her eyes fixed on the worn rug in the entry.
After a moment of this he asked gruffly, "You alright?"
Her eyes flicked up to his and she forced a small smile, her previous ease dissolving. After a moment, she shook herself, replying quickly, "Um… nothing, I guess. Come on, let's go."
Daryl watched her for a moment before following her as she walked to her car, her back to him and eyes focused straight ahead. She needed to say something, she was hiding herself from him so he sped up, eventually reaching out to catch her arm. She stopped and he released his hold on her arm instantly, asking as she turned to face him with questions in her eyes, "Beth, what's goin' on?"
Beth shrugged, a forced smile on her face that didn't reach her eyes, "Nothing, just… we should get going." She chewed her lip, looking away from him and after a moment added lightly, "That house isn't going to fix itself." He just stared at her until she finally raised her eyes to meet his, not looking away. After a moment she seemed to deflate a little and she asked in a rush, "Did you mean me, Daryl?"
He blinked, unsure what she meant, and finally responded, "What you talkin' 'bout?"
Beth eyed him for a moment then finally explained, "Last night, when we were talking about dreams and you said…. You said you were looking at your dreams…" She paused, watching as sudden understanding hit him making his face go still. She took a breath and plunged on, "Well… did you mean me?" She fidgeted with the strap of her bag idly, watching him carefully, and then added more softly, "I just… I need to know."
Daryl felt like his whole body had turned to stone, stone with an almost electric itch running up and down his skin as he stared into her eyes. She was waiting, she'd understood. Hell, what an idiot he was to ever assume she wouldn't have understood, that she would have overlooked this whole thing. Of course she'd know and of course she'd bring it up now. She was a direct person and she didn't let him hide, ever. She didn't seem mad, she didn't seem disgusted or ready to hit him if he told her yes, if he told her he had meant her, that she was something he'd dreamt about his whole life. All he wanted to do was tell her the truth, to tell her not to find someone else, to give him a chance even though he'd probably hurt her, probably wasn't good enough and never would be, but he couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't lie, couldn't tell the truth.
After a long moment, she said quietly, "Daryl? You know, usually I can tell what you mean without needing you to say it but… I'm going to need you to answer out loud this time, okay?" Feather light, her hand came to rest on his fore arm, gripping him gently. It was like an anchor, pulling him down to the bottom where he could stand on the sand but felt the pressure coming from all sides and his lungs burning sharp and hot as he forgot to breathe.
Finally she released him and he felt the air return, took a long slow breath and realized he'd never been drowning. He refocused on her, her eyes now fixed on the ground and the gentle smile gone. A little line appeared between her eyebrows and she shifted away from him, refusing to look back up. "Okay," She mumbled, laughing a little at herself, "Guess I read to much into it…" She looked up but didn't look at him, keeping her eyes focused on something over his shoulder as she replied, "That's fine, just pretend like I never said anything, okay? Let's go."
She started to turn away and Daryl reached out for her instinctively, his body finally coming alive again as he realized she was going to walk away believing the lie. Her eyes shot to his as he grasped her retreating arm, surprised and faintly hopeful. Seeing hope in those blue depths sealed it for him, gave him courage to tell her the truth, to roll the dice and bet on her. Before he could stop himself, before he could second guess it, he opened his mouth and answered, "Yeah, I meant you."
Her eyes widened a little and slowly a smile turned up the corners of her mouth, growing and growing until he felt like the face of the sun was shining directly through her, bathing him in a warm glow that made his own face stretch in that unfamiliar way almost reflexively. After a moment's hesitation, Beth sprang forward, wrapping her arms around his neck with a laugh. His arms wrapped around her as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to do and he noted how small she was against him, wondering if he was hurting her.
"I was hoping you'd say that," Beth said, leaning back to look up into his face, smile still almost blinding him. "I was pretty sure but… I needed you to say it."
He kept his hands on her back, gently brushing over her shoulder blades as he nodded, "Didn't wanna scare ya off."
"You didn't," Beth confirmed, gently tugging his vest into place. She beamed up at him and added, "In fact, I think it'll be impossible for you to get rid of me now, Daryl Dixon."
His lips twitched a little as he responded, "Ain't lookin' to."