Odd...he isn't bugging me about updating this. It's weird. Usually, he would have gotten on my case by now. I guess I should share this next part anyway...though what if this is his plan? Using some kind of reverse psychology bullshit to get me to share...? You know what, I don't even want to think about that.

It has to be said. Dear god that fucking hurt! When Lord Orochimaru said it would kill me, he wasn't kidding. It made receiving the curse seal the first time pale in comparison. Crazy, I know, but it's true. I don't think I need to explain how each of us went through the same ordeal. Plus I don't like remembering the pain from that anyway.

Though, now that I think about it, maybe I should share this one thing, something that might help make sense of a particular later event...or two. It was after I had once again woken up, still in terrible pain and in total darkness. Where the hell am I? I tried to move, but even with how painful it was to do anything, I couldn't move much. For a moment, I thought it might be another of those weird dreams like I had upon first receiving this damn curse seal. I continued to push at the walls, a weird growing sensation forming from my head. Finally, when I had almost given up on getting out, the walls burst outwards. I groaned, pushing myself to my feet. My vision was blurry as fuck, though not enough to miss that Lord Orochimaru was in the room. "What the hell do you want?" I half asked and half snapped, clearly not in the mood for whatever this was. I just wanted to lay down and sleep the pain away.

Even with my blurry vision, I could feel his glare on me, which I now knew could literally paralyze you in fear. "Do not take that tone with me," he hissed.

"Sorry, Lord Orochimaru," I replied immediately. I blinked, confusion written all over my face. Where the hell did that come from? And I had said it with no hesitation...or sarcasm. What the hell is wrong with me? I couldn't figure it out for the life of me. Had death somehow changed me? No, that didn't seem right. Or maybe...oh god. The curse seal. Did he do something to it with that pill? Or while I was out cold? Or maybe...did it just do this naturally? I had no idea, nor did I want to know. There was nothing I'd be able to do about it now, no matter which of those was true.

"Better." Oh, how I hated that word. I didn't miss the deja vu from my escape attempts when he'd say that when I was trying to escape and had relented. I hated that one stupid word, just because of that. "Since you're awake now, you will help with the rest of your teammates." He paused as if awaiting some response from me. I only nodded, not trusting my own mouth after the words that had just come out of it earlier. "Good. Oh, and do not let your feelings get in the way," he added, almost like an afterthought. My what!? I didn't have a chance to ask what he meant by that because, when I looked back up, he was already gone. Not that I needed to ask. I had a guess, and I didn't like it one bit.

He knew. He knew that I was starting to like Sakon. No. I didn't want him knowing that! Not after I had been making it very clear over the last few months that the only reason I was still there was that it was either stay or...well, I'll let your puny imaginations figure it out. It was simple. I had to prove him wrong. I didn't like Sakon. Even if my heart knew I was lying to myself.

I would soon realize just how much easier that was said than done.

When I went back into that same room the next day, what Lord Orochimaru had said suddenly made sense. It was Sakon's turn to get his curse seal upgraded. "Finally awake?" Sakon asked as he saw me come in.

No, I'm totally not awake...I'm right in fucking front of you, dumbass, I thought, but didn't say out loud. Instead, I muttered, "Sadly." Hey, it was the truth. I didn't want to be part of this, but if I didn't, Sakon would probably die, and it would be for real rather than being only temporary.

I expected him to instantly go for the pill, which is why I was shocked when he turned to me and said, "Hey, stay with me when I'm dead. I don't want to be alone when I wake up."

I facepalmed, partly from the sheer stupidity of it and partly to hide the blush I knew was creeping up my face. "What a complete dolt," I muttered.

He looked insulted, almost like he truly wanted me to stay with him. He said nothing, turning back and taking two of the pills with a smile on his face. Without a moment to lose, he and Ukon, who woke up just for this, swallowed the pills, the former still smiling. How the hell can he be so happy about this? Their death screams were painful for me to hear. I wanted nothing more than for them to stop, to make the pain go away somehow. I shook my head to clear my mind. I had to focus. "Tayuya, put him inside. Hurry!" Lord Orochimaru snapped when I didn't instantly move.

It took me a moment to understand what he meant for me to do, but I quickly realized he wanted me to put Sakon inside the barrel that I hadn't noticed. He was testing me, I was sure of it. Seeing if I could do it, despite those "feelings" he believed I had. "Why couldn't fatso be the one to do this?" I grumbled to myself, picking Sakon up and gently putting him inside. I blamed any redness on my face to being pissed at Lord Orochimaru.

Before I knew it, it was all done. The rest of the Sound Five, me among them, performed the Four Black Fogs Formation and Sakon was safely sealed inside the barrel, undergoing whatever changes the curse seal was doing to him. The others left, leaving me alone in there. I stared at the cause of my troubles, my mind a chaotic mess as I tried to decide what to do. I couldn't just leave him, well, them, there alone. Not after Sakon had asked me to stay. Sure, if I left, it could make it appear like I didn't care. But, at the same time, it could look like I was trying too hard to pretend I didn't care when I really did care. And yet, if I stayed-

Damnit, why am I overthinking this so much?

Ultimately, I did stay. Deep down, I knew Lord Orochimaru wouldn't be fooled by something so obvious. There wasn't a point in trying. I could deny it all I wanted. Say that I had absolutely no feelings for Sakon. That I hated his stupid guts, there was nothing between us and never would be. Yeah, what a load of bullshit.

I waited, and waited, and waited. My mind drifted back to when I had done this over Setsuko. The similarities were almost unnerving, except at least I knew how Sakon was doing. I tried thinking about anything else other than the dead body beside me or the dead body in the past behind me. But, no matter how hard I tried, my brain was determined to cause me misery.

I was nearly asleep when I heard a thump from behind me. I jumped as the barrel that I had been leaning against shook slightly. "Let me out of here!" Sakon screamed, sounding terrified. I rushed to rip the tags off the top, annoyed that I could only go one at a time. They were tough to pull off. The whole time, Sakon was pounding away and screaming, only making my task even harder from the constant shaking. With the last tag finally free, I pulled up the top. "Tayuya?" Sakon asked, looking up at me with a face that wasn't his own.

I knew it was still him, but his appearance had changed more than just the black markings from the first stage. His hair was longer and his skin was a dark brown. There was a horn-like thing coming out of the left side of his forehead, and as he grinned upon seeing me, I realized his teeth were like pointed fangs. His eyes were what scared me the most, though. They were completely black except for the yellow of his iris. Yellow...kind of like-fuck. Like Lord Orochimaru. Had I looked like that too? I hadn't even bothered to check before, and now I really didn't want to know. "Yes, it's me, you idiot," I said, relieved to see him still alive, even if he looked like a monster.

"I didn't think you'd stay."

"Let's just say we're even from when I found out I slaughtered my village. Deal?" I asked, holding out my hand for him.

"Sure," he replied, grabbing my hand to pull himself up. He didn't immediately let go at first, but upon the look on my face, he reluctantly released my hand. "Thanks, by the way. I've...never liked being in enclosed spaces. We're claustrophobic. Ukon's even worse."

"Worse than someone screaming bloody murder?" I asked, smirking to hide the fact that I had been frightened by his terror.

"Yep."

"Then let's just hope I never have to see or hear that," I said, thinking how it wouldn't ever happen. After all, when would that kind of situation ever happen again, and especially with Ukon rather than Sakon?

Oh, how that last sentence hurt to write.

And how did I go yet another month without updating? First, it was one in January, then the last one exactly a month ago from today. Has time really gone that fast? I'm so sorry, everyone. Truly I am. With that said, I'm not going to promise to have an update next week. Also, next week is the last one I had already written, so the regular updates would have stopped altogether anyway.

I'll be honest when I say that my motivation for this story has kind of hit a roadblock. I didn't even update this one at all other than checking over it with Grammarly. Like Tayuya, I kind of felt...obligated to update this. Like I have to acknowledge my own existence somehow, even if no one else bothers to do so despite disappearing for an extended period of time (no, this is not directed at anybody through FanFiction, I promise!). I do have some plan though on how to get back into this, especially since college is definitely a big thing here too. I think what I'll do is post the next chapter next month (if only to keep the continuous one-month time gap in between my updates), then once finals are over and I don't have to worry about college until September, I'll hopefully have the time and motivation to continue this story. I do want to continue it; it's just that life is saying otherwise.

That's all I have to say. See you guys for an update in April with my favorite chapter of this story. This one will be worth the wait, or at least I think that it is. Until next time.