Stupid?
Yep. Very.
But here he was. Strolling into McKinley High as if it was a customary occurrence. Like he actually belonged there.
The hallways are barren, destitute of any life with the exception of a few dawdlers leaving from their afterschool clubs and noncompulsory programs.
He figures even if there were a sea of faces swimming through the halls in a blur of sweeping movement, it still would have been impossible to have missed the colossal figure towering over his average size peers standing at the end of the widened hall.
There's a mixture of immediate apprehension and then amusement at the sight of the dick breaker himself, currently shoving some textbooks into an open locker.
Sebastian rolls his eyes, determining that it's probably best to show his face. If anything to at least be pointed in the right direction toward Princess to avoid pointless wandering.
"Hey there, dick breaker."
"What are you doing here?"
"Nice to see you too. Looking for your bro. He around?"
"Why?"
"Um - So I can offer him a coupon for rainbow flavored popsicles and be on my way."
Finn eyes him with a disgruntled expression, clearly confused. If he could, Sebastian would pat himself on the back for his earlier deduction of this gargantuan teenager. The boy certainly wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.
"Joking."
"Oh. Well - whatever."
"So?"
Finn slams his locker shut and shoulders his backpack.
"Dude. I honestly don't trust you. Or like you, actually -"
"Need I remind you that you bent my dick that morning -"
"It doesn't - it's not - that's not the point," Finn splutters. "Kurt is kinda sensitive. Sure he acts like - hard on the outside. Like nothing bothers him. But he's fragile. Like one of those glass egg thingy's."
"Are you giving me the big brother schpiel right now?"
"Maybe. I guess."
"That's cute. But trust me when I say we're not skipping down the isle together if that's what you're getting at. I like him. He's cool to be around and I like spending time with him."
Finn's eyes narrow, his teeth kneding his bottom lip, heedfully contemplating his next words.
"You think I'm trying to get in his pants. Right?" Seb asks with a raised brow.
Finn's face seems to tinge with a slowly meandering pink as if in response.
"Have you seen most of his pants? They're tighter than human skin. I don't think you have any worries there. So should I wander the halls shouting for him embarrassingly loud or can you help me out?"
Finn is still chewing his lip, and then after a long moment, exhales a cumbersome puff of air. "Follow me. He stayed behind to reorganize some of the sheet music." Finn then mumbles about them just having finished Glee practice as they stalk down the hall.
They eventually halt in front of a red door marked with a placard that read, Choir Room. Finn however hesitates to go in despite the door being held open by a sliver, a thin door stopper keeping it ajar.
Sebastian looks past him through the windows fixed within the heavy door, his eyes automatically shrinking into a glare.
"What's he doing with Dave Karofsky?" Finn whispers, evidently bristling with a conjoint curiousity and an urge to be protective. Kurt didn't seem like he was in danger. In fact, they were both lazing about on the piano bench, looking vaguely comfortable.
He and Finn catch each others gaze, somehow communicating that it was better to not barge in on the scene, and simply wait.
They stand clear of the windows, but remain close enough to properly eavesdrop.
Kurt is idly slipping his lean fingers over a few piano keys, a gesture Sebastian deduced is probably meant to ease any lingering awkwardness.
"So you're telling me that it wasn't a mistake?"
"No," Karofsky mutters, his eyes trailing over Kurt's fingers. "I mean, how I did it was wrong. But I meant it."
"You know you could've just told me. Maybe I would've understood."
"I was scared shitless, Kurt. I'm still not exactly... you know, okay with everything. But I know how I felt - how I feel," Karofsky corrects, looking up at Princess with a tentative expression. He gently reaches over and places his larger hand over Kurt's in order to still his fingers, causing Kurt to trace his blue eyes upward and pause on Dave's face.
Holy. Shit.
Apparently even the 'ever slow to catch on' Finn had determined where this was going judging by the way his mouth was hanging open to match his already enlarged eyes.
"David," Princess breathes, Karofsky using his other hand to cup Kurt's pale cheek.
This is happening right now. Dave is leaning in and Kurt is... He's just sitting there... They're mere inches apart...
"Stop! I - I can't do this. I'm sorry. I'm glad we were able to get over everything. But - to be friends. That's all."
The sense of dejection is alight in Karofsky's face as he slowly pulls his hand away, his posture stiffening defensively.
"This isn't because of what I did to you. Is it?"
Kurt remains silent, struggling to maintain eye contact as his blue eyes appear suspisciously bright.
"It's him, right? Sebastian."
Sebastian keeps his eyes forward, but glimpses Finn looking over at him within his peripheral vision. Kurt doesn't speak, but his body language screams an eerie defeat. That Dave had indeed hit the metaphorical nail on the head.
"You know what he is. How could you - He'll never be able to have a normal life. You wouldn't be able to have one with him."
"How do you know, Karofsky -"
"Oh c'mon, Fancy. Not even you're that naive. Unlike you, I've seen him in his natural habitat. More than once. All the nights he's picked up stranger after stranger at that sad little fucking bar. He's fucked them all. Every single one. For money -"
"You included -"
"No. Not - it wasn't - it was just a blow job. One of probably thousands for him. Is that honestly what you think of yourself? That you're only good enough to be with some whore?"
Kurt can't seem to find the words, but Sebastian can see, even from this distance the tears brimming, teetering on his lower eye lids as the pure blue burns with moisture.
"I've seen him, Fancy. He gets pleasure from it. Using people is all he knows. And you'd just be another knotch on his belt."
Something is happening. All at once. Sebastian can feel the heat of Finn's stare, coupled with his own warmth, a building fury and devastation rapidly engulfing him. He feels like he can't breathe, and the only thing to relieve the tension was to either storm in there and beat the living shit out of Karofsky, or break into a run to get far away from this... far away from these feelings.
He backs away, glaring at nothing in particular.
"Dude? What the fuck?"
Sebastian backs into a row of lockers, the sound akin to a canon blast in the stillness of the empty hallways.
"You're - you're a - a hooker?"
His hand slinks into his pocket, trying to feel the cool metal of his Taurus chain. But even as his fingers grace over the surface, it does nothing to quell the boiling pot of emotion. It doesn't soothe him as it normally would. It just feels grimey, tainted... like him.
"Finn what are you - S-Sebastian?"
Seb somehow hears him through the haze of so many voices chanting like a wall of cacophonous self hate.
"Sebastian. It's not what it looks like. Okay? I - I need you to understand -"
When Kurt reaches over, Sebastian smacks his hand away, the tears refusing to exit. The sudden aloofness overwhelming; taking over like an automatic precaution. The same way it did when he needed to leave his body behind in moments when being spoiled by strange flesh was too much.
"Hey!" Finn roars. Kurt raises his hand in a gesture of silence, quickly stating, "I'm fine, Finn. It's fine."
Karofsky looks torn somewhere between guilt and satisfaction. As if he'd taught Sebastian a lesson for his own good, but was still questioning the validity of his behavior.
"You know. Cubby's right. Stay away from me Princess. Have fun sucking each others dicks."
"Sebastian! Wait!"
"No! Kurt, stay away from him!" Finn bellows while holding Kurt at bay, keeping him from chasing after Sebastian.
"Sebastian! Don't leave! Don't do this!"
But Sebastian had already done it; turned into a vapor as he breathes in the open air outside of the school walls. This was the goodbye that he couldn't muster the words for... that he just couldn't manage to verbalize the other day. Mostly bitter... the sweetness of absolving Kurt of his toxic presence buried underneath so much bitter.
Eventually he ended up shutting his cell phone off.
Simon would be pissed no doubt. But he couldn't take another incoming text or call from Kurt. Every vibration of his phone provoked a potential tail spin into the exact moment of sad realization that had bowled him over back at McKinley.
He hoped that meeting up with Angelo, the elder deli owner, that succumbing to his routinized sacrifice of sexual favor would curtail this indescribable fluctuation of emotional despair.
But instead of finding a remote area somewhere off the highway, Angelo just continued to drive around.
"Why didn't you stop?" Sebastian inquires half heartedly.
"You're not in the mood."
"I'm always in the mood, baby. You know that."
Angelo shakes his head in a sad manner, clutching the steering wheel tighter as he stares ahead at the road.
"Did I ever tell you that I had a son?"
Sebastian shakes his head.
"Bobby. He was everything that I'd ever hoped for. The most beautiful thing in my life. I honestly couldn't believe that somebody that amazing came from a schmuck like me."
Seb kept his gaze fixated outside the passenger side window, but was listening attentively despite his laxidasical position.
"I lost him to addiction. Overdose. He'd just turned seventeen. I never even knew that he had a problem. He'd gotten pretty decent grades. Held a job afterschool. He always seemed like he had such a good head on his shoulders. I didn't find out till we started going through all of his stuff after the funeral. Saw it all written in his journal. He was so lost. Always felt like I was riding him too much. That he couldn't live up to my expectations. I pushed him too hard, didn't listen enough. I feel regret everyday about it. But in the end, I have to remember that he was becoming his own man. That he chose that path."
When the silence ensues, Sebastian finds his voice.
"So why are you telling me this?"
"Because, no matter what it may seem like, you have control. There's always a choice. And your path doesn't have to be dictated by anyone but you. So what I'm getting at, is that you gotta be the change you want to see. Rule your life in a way that will bring you happiness, kid. Hell, we only get one."
Sebastian didn't respond. In fact, he said nothing for the rest of the ride with the exception of where he could be dropped off at. How Angelo knew, he didn't understand. But his words struck him like a closed fist.
When they finally came to a stop some forty five minutes later, Angelo quietly slipped too many bills in Seb's hand for having only given him a car ride.
The last thing he said to the round bellied man was "thanks," and then the Cadillac drove out of sight.
He's several blocks from the apartment. He decides to take his time, savor the smell of the wet pavement, and have a cigarette as he calmly made his way back to the apartment. He inhaled with flippancy, not really noticing the taste of the smoke. When he turned the corner, he came across two figures loitering in front of his apartment building.
They were an odd pair. One guy looked to be in his late forties, with a rough face that looked almost carved from stone. His eyes nearly jet black if possible, squinty but somehow troubling, offsetting his neatly cut silver strands. His skin slightly olive colored.
The other was the exact opposite: much shorter and younger. School aged even. His brown tresses slicked back by a handful of gel, an eagerness about his face that was mostly concentrated in his light green eyes. He was smiling. To any fool, they would be enraptured by its charm. But Seb knew that there was nothing sweet about it.
The pair reeked of something formidable... Trouble. He could smell it yards away. Sebastian's gut twisted with a sense of impending treachery. He made to walk past them, return to the apartment later, but as he passed by, the elder one called out with a thick accent.
"Oi! Boy-o! C'mere."
"Yeah?" He turned around, keeping his face impassive.
"We're lookin' for someone we know lives here. Man called Simon. D'ya know 'im?"
Sebastian lets out a breezy chortle, his apathetic expression hopefully concealing his inner discomfort. The man sounded Irish judging by the drawling brogue he spoke in.
"Fuck do I look like? Some sort of neighborhood watch or some shit? How am I supposed to know who live's around here?"
"Watch your tongue there. I'd hate for ya to lose it," the smaller man stated coolly, a monotonous tone that somehow felt sincere; like cutting out a strangers tongue was a regular practice as easy as brushing his teeth. He too had an Irish venacular.
"To answer your question, no. I don't know a Simon."
The older man burst out laughing, the younger one following suit; Sebastian growing steadily more uneasy.
Before he could reach for his switch blade, all of the air is knocked out of him courtesy of a swift but very calculated blow to his diaphram by the younger Irishman.
He doubles over and is met by a heavy boot smashing into his shoulder causing him to sprawl out face first on the pavement.
"I wouldn't do that," the older man's voice sounded from above him. Sebastian instantly holds his hands out to his sides when he feels something cold press against his skull. His switch blade remaining untouched in his pocket.
"I got a touchy trigger finger. Might just slip," the younger man said teasingly.
"You tell Simon," the silver haired man drones, "Mr. Neighborhood Watch, that he's gotta couple ol' friends - fam'ly really, who're lookin' for 'im. That we 'ave eyes everywhere. And that it'd be in 'is best interest to contact us. I'm sure he remembers how. Or we'll do much more than have a conversation."
The pressure of tell tale metal pressing into the back of his head disappeared, but he kept his hands obediently trained to his sides.
There's a brief moment of silence except for the shuffling of retreating footsteps, when his side suddenly explodes in pain. He covers his head as several heavy blows rain down on him, coupled by maniacal chuckling.
"A'right, a'right, Rory. Enough. Let's be off."
One last kick resulting in Sebastian coughing out, trying desparately to regain his breath.
"Bye Mr. Watch," the younger one pronounced playfully, almost as if they were actually friends having a friendly exchange. It was unnerving.
A moment passes of which he spends trying to find his rhythm, slowly but surely inhaling and exhaling properly until he recovers. He looks up, noting that that streets were fairly empty. That no one was around. But regardless, not even broad daylight had stopped the pair from pulling a gun on him.
He drags himself to his feet, a whole new onset of panic completely unrelated to the heart fostering itself within him.
A/N: I actually felt the angst in my own fingertips as I wrote this one. Every time you think Seb starts to get it good, I act like a gigantic jerk and make it bad for him. Bad Clef. Bad. I know there has been some back and forth. Moments looking like we're leading toward some happy sexy time between our heroes and than others that are seeping with so much angst and sadness it's blinding. But I really do have this thing with trying to make it seem as realistic as possible. That they don't just jump each others bones with like no prior development, but also that there are moments where the chemistry and teenaged feelings are too strong to ignore (which happens to us all at times - being overwhelmed enough to kiss someone without thinking about the consequence. Or in Kurt's case, how gross it could potentially be since your make out partner kinda sells his body, lol). Either way, I hope you guys dig it and aren't getting too frustrated. By the way, thank you guys from my very soul for the latest series of reviews from the last few chaps. I mean... just, no words really. They were Amazing! With a capital 'A' son. Please keep them coming! Also... Rory! Thought you'd get a kick of that. The irony surrounding sadistic, scary Rory. Let the darkness unravel...