Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Warnings: Angst, feelings, spelling errors, and my inability to accept some character's deaths.

Chapter fourteen

The excitement had worn off and had been replaced by trepidation. Harry stood outside of the kitchen. Muted voices within let him know that Sirius, Hermione, and Ron were inside waiting. He was leaning with his back against the wall as he listened to them talking quietly among themselves. Surprisingly they weren't talking about him at all; they were actually talking about how Ron had gotten accepted into the Auror program at the ministry. The pride in Ron's voice made Harry shiver with unease.

Harry bit his lip. They really were drifting further away from him as time moved on. They were supposed to apply to the Auror program at the same time. They were supposed to go through training together. With a grimace and a sigh Harry turned to enter the kitchen. There was no point in being a coward. He would have to face them, and their disapproval eventually.

He stepped into the kitchen and cleared his throat. A shriek filled the air as Hermione launched herself at him and hugged him firmly. Harry basked in Hermione's familiar scent before she released him and stepped back.

"Oh! Harry. Why didn't you tell us what happened? We would have helped you!"

Harry stood his ground against Hermione's accusing glare. His eyes swung up behind her and met Ron's wary gaze. Instead of the fierce look of betrayal he thought he would see, he saw calm acceptance and comfort. Harry sighed. He should have known Ron's maturity would have carried on passed all the drama. Harry looked over and saw Sirius and Remus approaching him carefully. Sirius's eyes were misty and he looked haggard. He opened his mouth to speak, but Hermione interrupted before he could say what he wanted to.

"Harry? Please tell me what you are doing with Malfoy of all people? I though you hated each other? Why would you leave with him and not tell us where you were going?"

Harry blinked at Hermione. Her words had jumbled up in his head and he froze in indecision. Which question should he answer first?

"umm."

Luckily Remus stepped forward before Harry's brain completely malfunctioned.

"How about we all have a seat and get comfortable? I have a strong feeling that this tale is going to be a rather long one."

Harry felt a weight across his shoulder and he looked up into Sirius's serious grey eyes. He leaned into Sirius's comforting embrace as he was lead to the kitchen table. A house-elf must have been listening to the conversation because moments after everyone took their seats, warm cups of tea appeared on the table as well as a delectable looking array of pastries. Despite the tempting scent and sight of the food, Harry couldn't bring himself to indulge as everyone else reached for what they wanted. A stone seemed to have lodged itself in his throat. His tongue felt like it had swelled to fill his entire mouth. A choking feeling embedded itself in his chest. Harry closed his eyes. After the final battle with Voldemort he had thought he could finally rest easy. That was until he woke almost every night to the constricting feeling that he had failed to save the remainder of his family. The panic attacks occurred infrequently enough that he hadn't felt the need to disclose his fears. After a few months the panic attacks had ceased entirely and Harry got on with his life, content at last that his battle was over.

Being at Hogwarts with all of his classmates had eased his mind. Spending time with Luna near the lake, chatting with Neville about plants, these were the moments that soothed his weary heart. Harry clenched his teeth as he felt the heavy weight of judgement against his skin. Why did he have to explain himself to his friends? The irrational burst of anger was also usual for him these past few months. Harry looked down at his familiar hands that were clenched tightly in his fists. They were familiar yet he felt like an alien. He had only just been getting used to the changes within his world. Growing close to Remus and Sirius, watching as Remus made hesitant attempts with Tonks and Teddy. Laughing as Sirius failed in his attempts to charm every pretty girl he saw. Everyone in his life was moving forward, yet Harry had felt like he was stuck.

The truth of the matter was that Harry had been scared of going to stay at Grimmauld Place with Sirius. He had watched how the Weasley's stood with a solemn air of dignity throughout the many funerals. They were a unit. Since he and Ginny had decided to wait even longer to decide on their plans Harry could tell that he had no place within their group. With Sirius, the man wanted to reclaim the freedom and comraderie he had felt with Harry's father. But how could Harry step into the shoes of a man he had never known. In truth Draco had offered Harry the ultimate temptation to leave without explanation, and without regret. Harry looked into serene golden brown eyes and he bit his lip. How could he tell these people that loved him that he didn't know how to belong in the way they wanted him to belong?

"Harry. What were you thinking? Honestly going off with Draco Malfoy of all people."

Hermione's voice broke through Harry's troubling thoughts. His eyes refocused at the sound of her voice and the panic subsided enough for him to catch a breath. A plate was placed in front of him with his favorite treacle tart. Harry sighed. They knew him too well. A wry grin quirked the corners of his mouth, it was foolish to think he could outwit Hermione, or Remus for that matter. Harry took a deep breath and steeled his nerves. He wasn't going to let the latent insecurity rule him any longer. For years he had had one purpose, now he would simply have to find a new one. Going with Malfoy when his instincts had warned him of trouble should have been his first clue.

"Well you see Hermione, I wasn't really thinking at all. Malfoy made me promise to honor my word and so I did. You did warn me to stay away from him, but he managed to catch me off guard. You are the brightest witch of our age for a reason I guess."

Harry smiled. He heard a sigh and Ron's relieved voice finally rang out in the silence.

"Really Harry. You bloody well should have told us that Malfoy tricked you. We warned him off of you, you know. He was always sniffing about you. We knew that he was up to something. What type of promise is it? Don't worry we will help you out."

Harry bit his lip. Everyone was looking at him so earnestly. Should he tell them why he couldn't go back with them? The weight of the medallion itched against his skin, and Harry's heart grew heavy. How was he going to get out of this?

"Well you see. I can't really go back with you. . ."

"Harry, what do you mean you can't come back with us?" Hermione said.

"Oh, hello. You must be Harry's friends! It is nice to meet you all. I am Nye and this is Gareth. We are Draco's relatives."

Harry looked up into Nye's familiar violet gaze and he felt his pounding heart slow. If anyone could help him out of this mess maybe Nye could. He need not have worried because within moments Nye had convinced everyone to step outside and Harry stood on the threshold watching Nye talk to Hermione. They were in a deep discussion about something. That didn't stop Hermione from glancing at Ron who was speaking to Remus. Harry looked up at the sound of soft footsteps. Sirius was staring at him an odd glint in his eye.

"Hi Sirius."

"Hi Harry."

In seconds Harry was wrapped up in the scent he had become so familiar with the past few years. The scrawny slenderness of Sirius's body had dissipated somewhat, and the ghost of Azkaban didn't seem to weigh on Sirius as much as it had before. Harry looked up.

"I want to tell you alone first."

"Ok."

Harry slid out from within the comfort of Sirius's presence and they moved to what had become Harry's favorite part of the house in the past few weeks. A small enclosed room made up of glass that one could only see out of, with several comfortable chairs. This small room had a perfect view of the garden and beyond. In his brief respite from the grueling schedule Nye had him on, this was his sanctuary. Harry grunted, for a Ravenclaw Nye was especially tenacious in her effort for Harry to understand everything he could about Velulf's. Harry looked at Sirius and hoped fervently that he wasn't making a mistake in telling Sirius the truth.

Harry sat after Sirius did and he rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans nervously. Sirius sat patiently waiting for Harry to speak, his eyes solemn and intent.

"I don't know how to explain."

"Just start from the beginning. You don't have to explain your thinking just the facts."

Harry heaved a sigh of relief. That he could do.

"I was taking a bath, and Malfoy decided to join me. We argued and, well, he dared me to do something. I lost. I agreed to go with Malfoy as punishment. Everyone left once we got to the platform. I didn't know where they went so I left with Malfoy. Malfoy had me act like a, servant."

Harry took a deep breath. It was hard to skim over the more unsavory aspects of his punishment. Sometimes it still felt like he was wearing the explicit clothing. That was nothing compared to what he was going to have to admit to next.

"Then Malfoy and Kerto bit me and claimed me as their mate, and I turned into a Velulf. Then Feng at the council's behest forced me to wear this medallion and my powers were sealed. Then since the council has something against made-Velulf they tried to get Feng to kill me. Then Nye and Gareth came and started teaching me about Velulf's and they are trying to retrain my mates since they were taught the wrong way to behave with a mate. And, Sirius, I don't know what to do!"

The words had rushed from within Harry at a pace so fast he could feel the tightness in his chest from the lack of air. He stared worriedly at Sirius's blank expression. His hand had come to his chest to clench around the medallion. The action of his hand moving drew Sirius's attention and Sirius gently moved Harry's hand and looked at the medallion. Harry's nervousness increased. Was Sirius going to reject him? Harry couldn't turn into James no matter how much Sirius might have wished him to be.

Sirius released the medallion and leaned back into the plush back of the chair. He whistled.

"Well Harry, it seems that you have gotten yourself into quite the mess here. I don't know if I am the best one to help you. I can help you as an Auror, but I am not a curse breaker, nor am I familiar with any creature other than Veela and of course werewolves. Although, I am familiar with both creatures I think that perhaps Remus, Nye, and Gareth would be able to help you the best. Nevertheless, Harry I am not going to leave you with these people until you are in a safe and stable arrangement. Now that I understand a little bit, though I have a feeling not everything has been spoken of. I will always be here for you Harry."

As soon as Sirius finished speaking he stood and glanced out the window.

"I think it is time to speak to everyone else. Yes, they must know."

With that Sirius gently pulled harry to his feet and they headed towards their group of friends. Harry felt weak with relief, and the warmth of Sirius's hand remained against his skin, like the rare beam of sunlight in a world of winter. Harry sighed as he approached his friends. Hermione smiled at him and Harry blinked. A hesitant smile pulled at his lip. How foolish of him to think that he could ever be alone with these people at his side. With the support of his friends Harry made it through another explanation, and with the sharp questions from Hermione even the grittier details of his experience passed through his lip effortlessly and guiltlessly. He in this moment felt more grateful for them than he had for anything in his life.

TBC. . .