Tick, Tick, Tick…

Yokozawa was sitting at a booth waiting for Takano to show up, he already ordered a bottle of warm sake but he hadn't drunk any of it. He wanted to have a clear head for this, if the worst-case scenario was going to happen, he wanted to remember this. Yokozawa saw Takano walk in frantically searching for him, he waved him over standing up.

"Masamune…" Yokozawa started but he was caught off guard when Takano hugged him tightly. Yokozawa blinked, Takano wasn't one for physical affection…that means he must have really worried him this time.

"Don't Masamune me…" Takano said finally releasing him but held his shoulders "What's going on with you? You haven't been at work. Kirishima looks like shit all the time. And where the hell have you been!?"

Yokozawa didn't say anything at first but instead sat down gesturing for Takano to sit down as well. Takano reluctantly sat down staring intently at his best friend. They sat in silence for a few moments before Yokozawa poured them both sake and downed his.

"Masamune…have you ever pretended to be one way when you're really the other?" Yokozawa asked.

Takano blinked slowly at the statement before drinking his sake. "What do you mean by that?"

Yokozawa poured himself some more sake. "What if I wasn't who I said I am?"

"Don't tell me you're like a spy or something…are you?" Takano asked.

Yokozawa chuckled. Maybe he should have used that excuse all this time. "I'm not a spy Masamune."

Takano cracked a small smile before drinking his sake. "All right, now tell me where you've been. I've been to your apartment four times this past week and found your clothes were missing."

"I've been staying with Mino," Yokozawa answered.

Takano looked surprised. "Since when are you and Mino friends?"

'Since I first started working at the company and found out he was Water Witch,' Yokozawa thought to himself but instead said "We have mutual respect for each other."

"I know but still," Takano said before dropping the subject "What happened with you and Kirishima anyway? He looks like shit like he hasn't slept in a few days."

"He accused me of cheating on him after I came home smelling like rosemary," Yokozawa said.

Takano spits out his sake coughing a little. "What!?"

"I'm not repeating myself," Yokozawa said bluntly.

"I don't understand, you always smell like rosemary," Takano said, "I always thought you had some wired obsession with it."

"You could say that," Yokozawa said glancing to the side.

"So obviously, he's overreacting," Takano said, "Unless…"

"I'm not cheating on Kirishima," Yokozawa deadpanned.

"Just making sure," Takano replied before staring at Yokozawa for a long time "I don't know what's bothering you but I'm your friend you can tell me."

"I…" Yokozawa started but stopped. How do you tell your best friend that you might die and never see them again? Yokozawa pondered it for a moment genuinely considering it before asking. "If I died…how would you remember me?"

Yokozawa watched as Takano's eyes widen in shock at his question, there have only been a handful of times Takano had been rendered speechless, maybe he should have just lied and said Isaka was sending him on a business trip.

"Yokozawa…what the hell?" Takano asked looking at him in shock "How the hell am I supposed to answer that?"

Yokozawa watched as he ran his hand through his hair before saying. "If we're speaking hypothetically…I would remember you…as my best friend who stuck by me for ten years and put up with all my bullshit…fuck, Yokozawa why are you asking me this?"

'Because I might die, and I need you to remember all the good times we had together as friends instead of mourning over what you could have done when I'm gone.' Yokozawa thought silently. He'd seen what uncheck grief does to people, he didn't want that for Takano or Kirishima for that matter, but beggars can't be choosers.

"I just thought I'd asked," Yokozawa said down his final glass of sake "It's getting late, I need to go."

"Yokozawa, wait!" Takano stopped him as he slid out of the booth "Whatever the hell your thinking about doing or going to do, just come back alive will you."

Yokozawa pressed his lips into a thin line at Takano's comment before revealing a little of his true nature. "I can't make a promise to come back alive…just remember me like you always have."

Yokozawa then walked away without looking back, he didn't need to turn around to see the shocked look on Takano's face. When he was far away enough Yokozawa looked down at his shadow to see Madama's head tilted at an angle almost asking him why.

"I couldn't tell him," Yokozawa chuckled looking up at the sky "I might die and I still couldn't tell him the truth."

Madama extended her wings. Yokozawa saw this and said "Don't worry about me Madama. I'll be fine…"

Even after Yokozawa said that neither he nor his patron believes a word he said.

Yokozawa got back to Mino's apartment to find he had gone out with Yanase. Yokozawa sighed before flopping back on the couch he'd currently been sleeping on contemplating sending a goodbye message to Kirishima. He knew Kirishima would be devastated if he died, especially after the way they left things, his grief would consume him whole. After a few moments of debating with himself, Yokozawa opened his phone and dial Kirishima's number. Of course, the man picked up after one ring.

"Yokozawa! Dear god man!" Kirishima's panicked voice wafted through "I've been worried sick about you! Where are you!? What have you been doing!?"

"Well, for one thing, I can't tell you where I am, as for what I've been doing…" Yokozawa said calmly "I've been doing a little reflecting."

"Yokozawa, I…I'm so sorry I accused you of cheating on me…I just got paranoid and jealous…" Kirishima rambled "Please just…come home so we can talk about this."

"I…I'm sorry…I can't…" Yokozawa said "I just…I wanted to tell you something."

"Yokozawa? What's going on? Are you ok?" Kirishima asked.

Yokozawa took a deep breathed. "I love you, Zen. And I just wanted to hear your voice as I may never see you again. This is goodbye."

"Wha-!? Wait!? Yokozawa!" Kirishima said frantically "What do you mean goodbye!? Yokozawa answer me!?"

"I'm sorry, Zen." Yokozawa said quietly shaking a little "Take care of yourself and Hiyo for me. Goodbye."

"Yokozawa! Don't hang up! Talk to me! What's happen- "Yokozawa already hung up his phone and put it on mute before grabbing a pillow and curling in on himself. He felt sick to his stomach, he had just given up the one thing in life that brought him joy. Yokozawa suddenly noticed he was crying, he quickly wiped his eyes whispering. "It's ok. You're ok. You'll get him back. You'll tell him everything, just stay calm…don't cry…don't cry…"

Yokozawa wiped away his tear taking deep breaths to calm himself before he hugged the pillow tightly against his body. He had experience heartbreak before with Takano but this was different. He felt like he had physically ripped out a piece of his soul.

"You were more attached to him romantically than Takano," Madama spoke up for the first time it almost startled him "That's why you feel this way."

Yokozawa then chuckled bitterly. "Are you enjoying this? Watching me suffer? Slowly losing my mind?"

"No, I may be cruel but I'm not heartless," Madama replied.

Yokozawa felt something cold touch his shoulder, it was probably Madama trying to comfort him. "Madama…do you plan on letting me die?"

Madama didn't answer immediately "No…but I can only do so much. The real question is, do you want to die?"

Yokozawa started laughing causing a fresh stream of tears to run down his face. "I don't know anymore…"

"That doesn't sound like you," Madama said.

"At this point…I can't even remember what part of me is real anymore," Yokozawa sighed letting the tears flow freely "I've said my goodbyes, I've cut off ties…heh...but strange I want to keep going…"

"Is that so?" Madama asked curiously.

"Even when I'm hell bent on my own self-destruction…I still have a will to live," Yokozawa said wiping away his tears.

"Now there's my Yokozawa," Madama said, "I almost thought I'd lost you for a moment."

Yokozawa didn't answer her he just laughed before stretch himself out on the couch.

"Rest, you'll need your strengthen tomorrow night," Madama commented.

"I'm going to kill that Sage," Yokozawa said with a smiled on his face twirling his pendant in between his fingers "And crush their heart."