*note to reader, this is Rachel's back story. The song used is 'Misguided Ghosts' by Paramore ,which I do not have any rights to.
Ever since she was a little girl she has been very determined for her dreams to come true. She wanted to be a famous and well known Broadway singer. To be a household name was Rachel Berry's dream.
With the help of her active fathers who were ready to fork out the money for several different dance classes and gymnastic lessons, she would be well on her way.
She tried to block out all of the name calling and insults from the other girls in her extracurricular activities and the boys in her classrooms at school. She tired to walk with her head high while she walked through the halls but was always greeted with a freezing slushie to the face.
When Rachel turns 15, she gets her first boyfriend. He wasn't the most polite boy, nor did he always treat her like a lady, but that was okay with her. He had slapped her once hard enough to bruise her face for a couple of days, but it was nothing makeup couldn't fix so she wasn't worried. After she refused to have sex with him, he had dumped her after giving her a few more bruises and taking from her what he had wanted.
Rachel's love life had taken a turn for the worst since then. Out of 9 boyfriends in a year, she counted only one true gentleman. She had broken up with him with the excuse that he would only get in the way of her career. James told her that he loved her and it had scared her. No one could love ugly little Rachel Berry. Her nose was too big and she didn't have the expensive and name brand clothes everyone else did, she was nothing compared to the beauty queens who strutted the halls of her school. The only thing she was good for was being the girl who got passed around at parties because she was always too drunk to remember her last name.
After she had broken up with James and returned home, she turned on her hot pink laptop and sat on her bed. She opened a new tab in the window and typed into the search engine 'how to cut'. She had heard of it and how it helps some people with manage their pain. She finds a video on YouTube and surprisingly has no problem watching people cut into their own skin. She was desperate to not feel anything. She threw the picture frame on her nightstand, with a picture of James secured in it, against the closest wall with all her force. She knew her fathers would not bother coming up from the noise, Rachel often broke things when she was angry. She picked up a medium sized piece of glass and dragged it lightly on her leg. Rachel knew if she did it there, no one would notice. She pressed harder until she saw blood. Smiling to herself when tears dripped down her cheeks, it didn't hurt like she thought it would. 'It feels good' she thinks. After the discovery that cutting was the one things besides singing that made her feel better, after a bad fight with a boyfriend she always had something to herself. No matter what people said to her, she would always have one friend; pain.
Her father was going on a short business trip to New York and decided to take Rachel with him, knowing her obsession with Broadway and everything New York. She was ecstatic about it. She packed everything she could possibly need, along with a few fancy dresses to wear to dinners and what not. Once they arrived, Rachel was practically vibrating with joy and excitement. She belonged here, she knew it with all her being.
While out for dinner, Rachel was discussing how likely it would be for her to run into a celebrity while they were here. They could set up connections in the business, she could be famous even faster. Her father criticizes her obsessiveness on the subject. Rachel then quieted down, keeping her thoughts and comments to herself. She glances around the restaurant and catches a glimpse of one her idols. Rachel stands up so quickly that her chair turned over and hit the floor. She rushed up up and grabbed her arm to stop her from moving away.
"Idina, I can't believe it's you! You are my absolutely biggest inspiration." Rachel exclaimed happily.
"My name is Rachel Berry, I – I can't even begin to explain how much I love you. You're so well known, it's unbelievable that I am meeting you."
"Well that's very nice, Rachel. Now if you could kindly let go, I have to go." She said with a tight smile.
"But I haven't even shown you how talented I am, I'm sure I'm ready for Broadway already. I have a spectacular voice. Please, just gi-" Rachel pleaded when she was suddenly cut off by her father pulling her away.
"I'm sorry for my daughter's actions. She can get a bit out of hand sometimes." Leroy said while glaring at Rachel.
"It's okay, sir. Now I really must go." Idina said while rushing hurriedly away from the crazed girl and her father.
"Dad! How could you! I could have been famous! That was one of my biggest idols and you scared her away. I can't believe this. You've ruined my entire career!" Rachel whispered harshly at her father while trying to hold back the tears.
"Rachel Berry, you do not talk to me that way. Go wait in the car. Now." Leroy said pointedly. Rachel rushed out of the door and waited for her father in the car. She wiped furiously at the tears running down her face. Their trip to New York was turning out nothing like the way she had pictured it. She figured that they would be bumping into celebrities everywhere and she would make it big, but instead she successfully scared her biggest inspiration. She tried to calm herself but then only started to cry harder.
When Rachel and Leroy had gotten home they had a discussion about Rachel's future. Her two fathers figured that it would be in her best interest to go to a treatment facility to try to deal with her issues. Rachel didn't put up a fight, she was too focused on what a failure she had become. She had her shot and she blew it.
In a month Leroy and Hiram made all the arrangements they needed to for Rachel to be able to go to Shady Acres Treatment Facility. Leroy decided to stay home while Rachel got driven to Shady Acres.
As Rachel sat in the passenger seat she started humming to the beat of a song on the radio. She knew the entire album the song was from like the back of her hand. Rachel began to sing it with everything she had left inside with tears dripping from her eyes.
I'm going away for a while We all learn to make mistakes 'Cause I'm just one of those ghosts And now I'm told that this is life Would someone care to classify? Misguided ghosts
But I'll be back
Don't try to follow me
'Cause I'll return as soon as possible
See, I'm trying to find my place
But it might not be here where I feel safe
And run from them, from them
With no direction
We'll run from them, from them
With no conviction
Travelin' endlessly
Don't need no roads
In fact, they follow me
And we just go in circles
That pain is just a simple compromise
So we can get what we want out of it
A broken heart and some twisted minds
So I can find someone to rely on
And run to them, to them
Full speed ahead
Oh, you are not useless
We are just
Travelin' endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
And there's no one road
We should not be the same
But I'm just a ghost
And still they echo me
They echo me in circles
As the last note was fading they pulled into the driveway of Shady Acres. Rachel wiped at her tears and got out of the car and gathered her luggage. She hugged her dad and nodded solemnly at his words of encouragement. She walked towards the glass building and strode in confidently. She was a star after all, they should know that for however long she was stuck here. She stopped next to a tall boy standing at the front desk. "Hi there, I'm Rachel Berry." she said while looking up at him with a small smile.
"Finn, Finn Hudson." he said while playing with the hem of his plaid shirt.
"Glad to meet you, Finn. I'm sure this is a start of a delightful friendship." Rachel said happily. If she couldn't be a star out in the world, she would be the star of Shady Acres. Rachel would be the girl who everyone envied because that's what stars deserve.