Xiana: (waves to everyone) Hiiiiii! … yay, I like this chapter. Sorry.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! But I do own myself actually. So I guess I do own something then. Never mind. And yeah, there's an Ouran High School Host Club reference in there. So you guys should totally watch that show and read the manga, if you haven't already. And I quoted Incognito Indigo's story part of the way through. Please don't be offended! (bows head in shame) That was a long disclaimer…..

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Death of a Weatherman

Demyx rubbed the last of his tears from his eyes as he skipped merrily down the hallway. He decided he wanted a snack, so at the next blank intersection he turned and headed for the kitchen. He was just about to burst through the double doors when he paused to look through the window. Axel and Roxas were inside, holding hands, gazing deeply into each other's eyes, and occasionally kissing from time to time.

Demyx didn't feel like interrupting this cozy domestic scene, especially since he knew from an informative MySpace bulletin Lexaeus had sent him that it was 24 years bad luck to interrupt a first date. And though the castle kitchen wasn't exactly the most romantic location for a relationship to blossom into a bright flower of love, bloom it had, into the red rose of deepest romance. Demyx frowned. What was with all the flower references? He wasn't Marluxia after all. But really, Demyx couldn't criticize. He had made the first move in a closet.

Demyx shrugged and skipped back down the hallway, turning towards his own room. He headed for the mini-fridge in the corner, but was disappointed to find that there were only a few boxes of Pocky left. He grabbed a box of boring chocolate flavor and sat down on his comfortable water bed. The bed sloshed and gurgled beneath his weight. Demyx stuck a stick in his mouth and chewed on it thoughtfully as he began thinking over what had just occurred.

Zexion… was a good guy after all! He had caught him when he fell and had held him tight after his breakdown. Demyx decided that Zexion had to like him at least a little bit, or else there would be no rationality whatsoever when it came to Zexion's actions.

Demyx smiled. That was good news for him! He had secretly been rather worried when he was listening to Marluxia make the opening statement. It sounded pretty good to him, and he was wondering what would happen if he lost.

Maybe Zexion would have him thrown, into a wormhole, to a parallel dimension, where he would find another Zexion, who would love him back! But then there might be another Demyx there who he'd have to compete with! Or maybe he would get thrown into Planet of the Demyx's! And they could all have fun playing music together! But maybe he would land in Planet of the…Xemnas's. Now that would be scary!

Demyx's eyes swirled from the possibilities, and he swallowed the Pocky awkwardly, choking slightly as Larxene barged into the room.

She slapped him on the back impatiently, and he was able to breathe again. "Come on, you bum. Let's get going so we can win this trial," she said irritably, dragging an acquiescent Demyx down the hallway.

Demyx wondered if Zexion liked him. Like, liked-him liked him. He decided to ask Larxene for her opinion.

"Larxene, does Zexion, like, like-me like me?"

Larxene asked cruelly, "What makes you think he does?'

"Well, we were kissing in the closet, and if he had really wanted to get out, he could have easily overpowered me using his" ---BEEP---

"His… what? That sounded really wrong you know!" Larxene laughed at Demyx's mistake.

"No, not like that!" Demyx cried, blood rushing to his cheeks adorably as he banished the thought that Larxene had created for him. "I… I only meant his super duper secret weapon that no one knows what it is!"

"Yeah sure. You just don't want me to know the truth!" Larxene teased, causing Demyx to hit her arm playfully.

"All right, I give up, yes, it really was that way," he joked, secretly wishing that it was true. "Also, I was just in a hallway back there talking to him, and I … uh… I tripped and fell, but then he caught me and held me tight!" Demyx claimed, not wanting Larxene to know everything that had happened. He didn't think she'd understand if he told her what the whole thing had been about.

"Well, that is a good point. There's really no reason for him to do that unless he does like you, so maybe you're right for once." Larxene only ever seemed to let down her shields around Demyx, the only person she felt would understand her. They had both lost Xanare, after all, and while she had initially blamed Demyx, she had quickly come to realize that he blamed himself far more than was healthy. They had clung together through that period of time, and Larxene had come out of it a different person. Demyx, though, hadn't changed a bit. He was still as hyperactive and sweet as ever on the outside, with a fragile, self-deprecating interior that seldom revealed itself.

Demyx truly was a mystery. She wondered why it was that she was so open around him, yet could never seem to come out of her hard, emotionless shell around the others. Especially around him…

Demyx's loud voice intruded into her thoughts. "So…. So so so what are you gonna do with Marly when we win huh huh huh?"

She quickly flushed and turned on Demyx angrily. "How come everything that comes out of your mouth sounds completely wrong?" she asked, eyes blazing.

Demyx just shrugged sweetly, holding his arms up behind his head in a relaxed manner. "Just another one of my many talents!"

Larxene sniffed haughtily. "Well, for your information, I intend on making him apologize for all those times he's insulted me!"

"Right, I see! But of course this had absolutely nothing to do with… How you've had a huge crush on him ever since you joined the Organization, right?" He smirked, pulling out a picture he had taken of Marluxia which just happened to feature Larxene staring longingly at the Assassin in the background.

"What the… where'd you get that? And… uh… how did you edit the film to get me to look like that?" Larxene temporized, trying to stall.

"You're not the only one with a blackmail drawer, Larxy," Demyx taunted, waving the photo back and forth. He handed it to her. "Here, a souvenir for you." Noticing she was about to tear it up, he wagged his finger reproachfully. "Now, don't waste your time and mine when we both know I can just print out more any time I want."

Larxene stopped and shoved it in her pocket resignedly.

"Now then, shall we continue on to the courtroom?" Demyx asked, holding his arm out. Larxene took it, and they skipped merrily back to the trial together.

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Xemnas was angry. Wasn't he the leader around here? And yet here he was, sitting in the jury instead of that nice, tall seat that Xaldin currently occupied.

Xemnas wanted that seat. He wanted it bad. For the leader of the most feared criminal syndicate in the world, he was pretty pathetic, wasn't he? Although, after the formation of the Creeper Mafia, the Organization had dropped down to the number of second, only slightly ahead of the Fangirl Contingent. And with just one glance at Xiana and her group of wacko friends, he rather thought it wouldn't be long until they fell back to third place again.

It wasn't fair. Xaldin wasn't the leader! Why did he get to be judge? Besides, Xemnas' hair would look so much more natural and beautiful in a judge's curls, silver instead of that horrid black that clashed so horribly with the long, flowing robes that were just a mite too short on Xaldin, but would look perfect on Xemnas. He could picture himself now, standing up on that platform, defending justice for all.

Or at least, he could have been a lawyer, defending his client and winning the courtroom over to his much-despised side with eloquent logic and a grand speaking voice, elegantly calling out "Objection!" Being a judge was prestigious, true, but being a lawyer was where the true power lay. And Xemnas liked power.

Still, it was quite sad that Zexion hadn't even considered him for the position. Truly, as the founding member of what was once the Sixth Order, it could be assumed that he did indeed have some brain power.

Perhaps it was that Zexion feared Xemnas would frown on their relationship. Which was true. Xemnas was not a fan of the Zexion/Demyx pairing. He much preferred Zexion/Larxene and Demyx/Axel, or at the very least Zexion/Marluxia and Demyx/Xigbar. Xemnas was a strange person, but he definitely though those two were all wrong for each other. Yes, that was it. Zexion had wanted Xemnas to be his lawyer, but that tricky Marluxia had been awful and convinced Zexion with his sinister tactics that Xemnas would never support him.

Damn Marluxia. Xemnas expected he should eventually just exile him away to some castle in the middle of nowhere someday, just to get rid of him. Within the context of some mission, of course.

No matter what the situation, he was not going to lose! Besides, everyone knows that the jury are the ones truly in command! That power of life and death over others! The dramatic pauses right before the foreman read the verdict! The melodrama after the guilty was led away in chains, calling dramatically for forgiveness from the victims! Yes, as jury foreman, he would once again command attention from all sources! He laughed triumphantly only to find Xiana watching him curiously.

"Aaaaah, what are you doing, sempai?" that girl with unnaturally colored hair asked, blinking at him with wide green eyes.

"I was thinking about how well suited I'd be as jury foreman!" Xemnas claimed, attempting to look dignified.

"But! I'm going to be the jury fore-girl, sempai!" she claimed, gazing deeply into Xemnas' golden eyes.

"No, you can't be! I am!"

"But, sempai, you don't look like a fore-girl."

"Er… Dammit, that's not what I meant!"

"Well then, what do you mean, sempai?"

"I meant that I was the jury foreman, and not you!"

"Well, of course, I'm a girl, sempai. Of course I can't be a foreman, that's why I'm the fore-girl!"

"But… but… I give up!" Xemnas yelled, throwing his hands in the air in exasperation.

"Sempai!"

"I'm not talking to you."

"Sempai…"

"…'

"Sempai?"

"…"

"SEMPAI!"

"WHAT?" Xemnas yelled, losing control.

"… sempai, your hair's on fire." Xiana looked away.

"AGH! How'd this happen?" Xemnas cried, panicking and running around.

"I think that Breeze lit your hair on fire because she didn't approve of your stance on Demyx and Zexion's happy relationship of LOVE!" she told him innocently as Breeze took aim at a Dusk in the third row who was sniggering with his little buddies about the trial. The other girls were chanting, "STOP DROP AND ROLL! STOP DROP AND ROLL!"

After a bucket of water was dumped on his head by Keselyx, the only sane one in the group (apparently), he patted his singed hair mournfully.

"Don't worry, sempai, Shiggy here will fix your hair up real good," Xiana said, gesturing towards Shiguna who was smiling wickedly, scissors in hand.

"Don't… hurt me…" Xemnas protested in vain, as he was led to another room by Shiguna.

"He-heh-heh…" she grinned evilly. "Now what style suits your fancy?"

"Actually-" Xemnas was cut off by the screaming of the others.

"Mohawk!"

"Faux-hawk!"

"Shave it all off!"

"Dye it pink!"

"Emo hair!"

The girls continued squabbling, and eventually divided into two groups, the 'Emo for Everyone' group and the 'Pink is Pretty' group.

"Emo hair would be better! It would look nicer!"

"Yeah, everyone loves emo kids!"

"Wrong! Xemnas isn't emo, he's a girl!"

"We've been over this, I'm the fore-girl, remember, not him."

"Still…he looks like a girl, and that would take all the singe marks out!"

"But pink would totally clash, and then I'd have to be Kaoru and he'd be Hikaru and we'd have to start fighting and throwing random pieces of furniture and Honey-chan at each other and I wanna be Honey-chan with the cute 'Haru-chan!' line and the cake, and not to mention at the end, we'd have to make up and get all mushy and stuff with each other, and you don't want to see that, do you?" Xiana argued.

"No way!" everyone else agreed, and it soon became apparent that Xemnas would soon become an emo kid with Zexion.

"Nooooooooo!" Xemnas yelled, nails scraping futilely against the ground as Shiguna dragged him off into the salon room conveniently located right next door.

Fortunately, Xiana was there with one last piece of advice before Xemnas was dragged away to his doom. "Just remember, sempai, girls love emo boys!" She smiled before bashing him over the head with a hammer, rendering him (mercifully?) unconscious.

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Zexion was happy. Well, not really, because that wouldn't be in character, but he was definitely glad that he didn't have to worry about the trial anymore. The stress had been giving him prematurely light blue/ grey at the top/ lilac/ white-ish/ maybe silver because it looks shiny hair. . . awww, who was he kidding? It was part of his fate to be cursed with the best hair out of the whole Organization, and possibly the world! He looked enviously at one of the girls on the jury who was dumping a bucket of water on Xemnas' head for some reason. If only he had highlights of that beautiful color of purple when the sun hit it just right, he would be perfect! And then people from all over the world would have to bow down to his beautiful mastery of hair and his ---BEEP---!

'Wow, that sounded really wrong,' his inner weatherman commented.

'Hey, it's not my fault that I have a super duper secret weapon that no one knows what it is! Even I don't know…'

'You don't even know what your own weapon is?' the weatherman scoffed. 'How can you call yourself a master, then?'

'Awww, shut up! I practice with it every day down in the gym! I just… get amnesia after I practice for some reason! And shouldn't you be reporting the weather?'

'Ah, yes. You'll be happy to know that it's still hot in Topeka.'

'What is a "Topeka" anyway?' Zexion questioned.

'It's like, some place in Kansas.' With just the mention of Kansas, Zexion was asleep and snoring. This didn't bother the weatherman too much, as he was quite used to this sort of thing occurring. Actually, it was because he was so boring in real life that he had chosen a boring profession. Unfortunately, he was no good at money, so he couldn't have been an accountant. But then, he wasn't real, was he? He was just a voice in some emo kid's head.

Confronted by unanswerable questions about his origins and his place in the world, the poor weatherman finally went insane in an emo sort of way and threw himself out the window of the news station. Right in the middle of the 8:35 forecast, too. How awkward. The inconvenienced weather channel immediately set to work finding a replacement.

Eventually, Zexion woke up. He blinked sleepily and looked into the eyes of Demyx, who was right in front of him. "Hey, Dem, I just had the weirdest dream. I dreamed that this weatherman guy, who's really a voice in my head, committed suicide by jumping from a building, right in the middle of the 8:35 forecast, all because he was plagued by questions about his existence. Weird, huh?"

"Yeah, that is kind of strange. But why were you sleeping, anyway?"

"Because the late-and-great weatherperson told me about Topeka."

"The clam-and-artichoke appetizer?'

"No, it was a city, in a place called…"

"Called what?"

"If I tell you, you'll fall asleep." Zexion warned Demyx.

"That's okay, tell me anyway."

"Okay. Topeka is in a place called…" Zexion forced back a huge yawn before finally saying, "Kansas."

The effect the word had on Demyx was remarkable. He teetered, fighting and eventually failing to regain his balance. He toppled into Zexion's waiting arms, finally muttering, "So…bored… must … sleep to regain… energy….."

Zexion smiled down at the soundly sleeping Demyx. "You idiot, I warned you," he reproached the snoozing boy affectionately. "Ah well, sweet dreams Demyx." Now then, what was he to do now? He couldn't move from under the weight of Demyx, nor did he want to. Somewhere in his mind, a subconscious voice (likely the new replacement for the weather dude) told him to kiss Demyx lightly on the forehead. He did, not caring if anyone noticed, which they did not.

He laughed at himself lightly. He was just as bad as Demyx, now wasn't he? Taking instructions from random voices in his head? He yawned, feeling the delayed reaction from the word "Kansas." His head and shoulders slumped forward, and his body slid down the wall he had been leaning against with Demyx. The two sleepers finally came to rest on the ground, Demyx still held securely within Zexion's arms, Zexion's head drooping forward to rest slightly within the curve of Demyx's neck. The two dreamers slept on for a time, oblivious to the curious stares of others and a few flashes of Larxene's camera.

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Axel and Roxas had moved on from random kissing to something with a bit more of a point. Axel was now trying to convince Roxas of the healthy values and tastiness of yogurt, and so the two were taking it in turns to feed each other a bite at a time – without a spoon, of course.

It was after a particularly large mouthful that left Roxas choking that Axel asked, "Well, Rox, what are we going to do now?"

"Eat some more?" Roxas offered hopefully, licking a few excess drops of yogurt from the corners of Axel's mouth.

"N-no, not that," Axel said, distracted by the rough feel of Roxas' tongue along his cheek. "I mean like, what do we tell the others? Do we just walk up to everyone and say something like, 'Oh, remember us? Axel and Roxas? We have decided that we are passionately and madly in love with each other, so don't mind us if we start making out during a staff meeting,' or what?"

Roxas laughed. "Yeah, that'll go over well. Maybe we can just go with it, you know? Like, pretend nothing's changed, and that we don't care what they think? Cuz I really don't, as long as we can be together."

Axel nodded, agreeing. "I feel the exact same way, Roxas. And if they do happen to catch us smooching during a staff meeting, well then it's just too bad for them if they don't like it!"

"I can just see it now. I can hear Xemnas: 'Axel, Roxas! Kindly stop sucking each other's faces off and start paying attention to my blah blah blah darkness blabbity Kingdom Hearts blah blah bluh bleh lecture.'" They both laughed at Roxas' imitation of Xemnas' voice.

"So we should just play it cool?' Axel asked for re-confirmation.

"I… guess. I'm new to this whole relationship thing too, you know?"

"Hey, we're already beating Zexion and Demyx."

"Yeah… Oh! We completely forgot about the trial!"

"You're right!" They attempted to clean up the kitchen, soon gave up, and finished the rest of the yogurt between the two of them as they set off for the Chamber of Non-Existant Souls!

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Xiana: Yay! I hope none of you fell asleep from Kansas… (yawns) I mean no offense to any Kans…ians… my dad and grandma are from Kansas so yeah.

Next chapter: Hm… I don't know… Ah yes, the tragic tale of romance! With me and… the very creatively named…. Xian…. I feel as if I should change my name now…