A/N: Blarg, had a bad day today and didn't want to do my homework so now you may reap the benefits of my poor work ethic.

Any time a sentence sounds really smart...thank Altonish.

Chapter 14:

Sarah's on her second glass of champagne and she thinks now she's really going to be in for it. She's already been written off as a frump and disinterested wife, but now they're going to add her as a rampant alcoholic.

No wonder Chuck's kept her from public view all this time, she thinks wryly as she takes another gulp.

The day hasn't gone exactly as she'd hoped. Chuck's been kidnapped by another journalist eager for a one on one and she's finally managed to excuse herself for some much needed alone time. And she still has no idea who the potential culprits are.

"Bored?"

The stranger catches her when she least expects it and Sarah whips around, hastily wiping spilled champagne off her dress.

The man laughs and it only makes her blush all the more.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I'm usually not this much of a klutz."

"No..." he agrees even though he doesn't even know her. "Chris Hawkins," the man introduces and extends his hand. "Star-Hawk Electronic Arts."

"Sarah Bartowski, computer illiterate."

They share a laugh as they shake hands. He's tall and toned; it's easy to tell by the way he fits his suit. She guesses his age at around late thirties-early forties, though he has hardly a wrinkle to show for it. His eyes are mischievous and blue like the ocean, and his hair is a sun-bleached blond. Her first thought is Devon, her brother-in-law, and for some reason the association improves his standing in her eyes.

"Ah, Mrs. Bartowski?" The man sounds a tad disappointed and he doesn't try to hide it either. "No wonder Charles has been hiding you from sight. If I had known you were so beautiful, I would have stolen you away a long time ago."

Sarah laughed forcibly. "Does that line ever work?"

Chris gave a good natured smile and replied, "Would you believe me if I said all the time?"

Sarah shook her head.

"Sorry. In all honesty though, it's a pleasure to meet you. Your husband's quite the enigma."

"Is he?" Sarah was learning more about Chuck today than she was about her objectives.

"Ah, the guy's practically a recluse. I've known him for years, but he's probably never said five words that weren't about work. He's obsessed about this kind of stuff.

"Let me guess, you asked him out on your first date?"

Sarah wanted to give Chuck the credit but her smile already gave it away.

Hawkins snapped his fingers. "I knew it!"

"He asked me out on our second first date, so I'd say we're about even," she reveals.

"It must be very lonely for you living with such a workaholic."

Sarah shrugged. "I stay busy." She waved at the herd of bimbos off in their own clique. "I don't believe I've met your wife yet."

"I'm not married," Hawkins replied, flashing his ring-less hands. "Bit of an oddity here, I'm afraid."

"Well it seems you have plenty of options."

Chris scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, that's fun for a while when you're twenty five. I prefer more interesting women."

Sarah squirmed slightly. She had flirted with sleazebags all over the world, but something about this software developer was actually starting to bother her.

"So are you new to LA?"

"No, actually my husband and I used to live in LA. We moved East for work."

The man looked as if she'd just stuck him with a pin; all his hopes rapidly deflating.

"Oh, that's really too bad."

"Mmhmm..." Sarah takes a drink and uses the opportunity to scan the crowd.

"Listen, if you ever want to get a coffee, or a drink—"

"Hey...Chris!" Chuck swoops in out of nowhere and takes Sarah in his arms. "Not stealing my wife away are you?" Chuck's joke falls slightly flat and he looks between the two of them with a look that was fast becoming troubled.

Hawkins smiles vaguely in Chuck's direction. "We were just catching up. You've done the world a great injustice by keeping her hidden away."

Chuck's grip around her waist tightened and Sarah tries to read behind the forced smile on his face. Was this still part of their cover?

"Well, I'm glad you two are better acquainted now. We've got a busy day though, so you'll have to excuse us."

Without waiting for a response, Chuck begins to drag her away. What he's done is completely out of character and yet for some reason, she's glad for it.

"I think we need to talk about what you're really doing here," Chuck says in a low whisper as they moved quickly towards the coatroom.

"Chuck," she hissed back. "That's on a need to know basis. And you don't need to know."

He stops abruptly and brings her close. It was a rare gesture of intimacy, only when he lowered his lips towards her ear she realized the gesture was only for appearances' sake.

"We need to talk, Sarah."

Her eyes already held the answer. "Chuck..."

"I flashed."

Chuck is still the Intersect. And so long as he remains the Intersect, everything is as it should be. The world continues to spin on its axis, she still wakes to the sight of him and his tousled hair, and she gets to stay another day in paradise.

It's too good to be true. The job, the man; the best of both worlds.

Sarah should have known it couldn't last.

Happiness was reserved for more deserving people and Chuck spells it out for her one day.

"You're mad at me, and I don't understand why." Casey would be proud of his forwardness. Unfortunately he's already moved to bigger and better things; Chuck's not the only Intersect that needs protecting these days.

"And I don't understand why you won't accept the update." Sarah crosses her arms across her chest, adopting the classic 'if I have to explain it to you then you just don't get it' pose.

"Because I don't want to." He furrows his brows and clasps her arm, trying to sway her mind. "Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

Sarah narrows her eyes. "Because if you don't remain relevant, they're going to reassign me."

Chuck lets go of her arm, threatening to adopt a similar pose to hers. "We're married now, Sarah, they can't do that. We're legally together."

It's so simple for him. There is only right and wrong; yes and no. He doesn't understand things like loopholes and obligations and sacrifices. He doesn't see the greater good and her boss is all about that.

"What's so wrong about working with me?" she asks in a quiet voice. "We're a good team." She probes his eyes for an answer, for some way to compromise, but he's surprisingly unrelenting.

"I don't want to keep putting my life on hold," he says.

Sarah bristles at the instigation. "What do you mean...on hold?" This is their life, their house, their mortgage. What more did he want?

Chuck doesn't immediately respond. The deafening silence speaks for itself and with each passing second, things become clearer and clearer to Sarah.

"Wait." She looks at him in disbelief. "You've been waiting for me to quit!"

Chuck doesn't deny it. He doesn't even look guilty.

"Chuck!"

"When is it going to be enough? When are you going to see that one of these days it's going to—" He stops because the thought is too terrible even to voice aloud. Chuck shakes his head. "Why do you love it so much? Why can't you just be happy with this life?" He points to the ground but he should have pointed to himself; because isn't that what he really means?

Why can't you be happy with me?

"Chuck!" she warns, just barely holding back her temper. The last thing she wants to do is start a fight.

"I just..." He clenches his fists in frustration. "I want more. I want my life back, is that so much to ask? I don't want to work two jobs; I don't want to stick my neck out on the chopping block every week. I don't want to worry about dying all the time. I really don't want to worry about you dying all the time.

"It's driving me crazy. We've made it this far not because we're better than they are or smarter or faster. It's because we've been lucky and someday..."

Chuck swallows his words. He can't bring himself to say it.

Someday something terrible will happen and it will destroy everything we've built.

Someday I'm going to kiss you and never realize it will be our last kiss.

Someday all I'll have are the photographs.

"I don't want to lie to everyone we know. I just want a life without lies and secrets—"

"This is my life, Chuck," she stresses. She knows no other.

Chuck takes a step back, stunned. They were both stunned.

"I see..." he says, even though he doesn't look like he truly does. "I'm sorry."

Sarah's not sure what Chuck is apologizing for and it takes a long time before she truly understands the impact of his words and to realize that Chuck wasn't the only one who was sorry it had come to this.

"Chuck, are you going to tell me about your flash or not?"

The answer appeared to be a no. Silencing her with his revelation, he seemed satisfied with the result and left it at that.

Sarah chased after him, out of the convention hall, out into the parking lot, all the way into his car. She slid into the passenger seat and stared at him, willing him to speak.

"Chuck..."

She watched and waited but his brown eyes were distant and detached.

She knows without asking what he's thinking about.

"You know my flashes aren't accurate. I haven't had an update in five years."

There's something else he isn't saying. That he might be wrong. That he's been wrong before.

That's what he wants to say but won't. The sadness is all there in his features; she knows without a word passing between them what he's thinking of.

"I'll call the Director. Ask him what he thinks."

Chuck turns to look at her and for a second his eyes are filled with panic. The look is quickly replaced by one of regret. Now he'll never tell her anything.

"Have you flashed on anyone else?

"Why are you in LA?"

Sarah ignores the question. "Is there anyone else?"

Chuck leans against the side-window and gazes outside. Sarah sighs.

"I don't want to lie to you." That was her final answer. "Is there anyone else?"

Chuck shakes his head.

They sit in uncomfortable silence trapped in the stifling heat of a metal box that's been under the unrelenting midday sun.

She can't breathe, but she doesn't want to leave either.

"Are you here to protect me or are you here for something else?"

Sarah gives him a look as if to say 'this isn't twenty-one questions'.

"Can't I be here for both?"

Chuck leans back in his seat and stares at the short ceiling. "Hawkins isn't the person you are looking for."

"How can you be so sure?"

Chuck shrugged. "A lot about a person can change after five years." The way he says it makes Sarah wonder if they are still talking about Hawkins.

"And some things never do," Sarah reminds. She's not so sure she's talking about Hawkins either. "He's the only lead I have."

"Maybe if you told me what you were looking for—"

No. The last thing she wanted was for him to get himself involved after taking such pains to remove himself from this life.

"Perhaps I should pursue the lead with Hawkins." A part of Sarah knows she's only said it so he'll stop talking.

Chuck looks at her, and she doesn't dare turn to meet his gaze. She's seen that look a thousand times over.

"If it's what you want," he says, each word chosen with care. He doesn't let on if he's jealous or indifferent or otherwise.

They sit in silence once again, letting it build between them like an impenetrable wall.

"You should get back, you have responsibilities," Sarah says. She doesn't say anything about herself.

Chuck nods but he makes no move to open the car door.

"I'm going to call the Director." For some inexplicable reason, Sarah wants to reach out and hold his hand. She doesn't want him to leave. "See what he wants me to do."

Chuck nods. "Do you want to have lunch?"

Sarah looks at him as if he's just asked if she likes hippopotamuses.

"What?"

"Lunch. You know, the second most important meal of the day?" He's still refusing to look at her, but it's a start. "Nothing's really going on this afternoon. Maybe some free keychains and LED flashlights if you're into that sort of thing. Oh and there's a talk by Ron Dinkins on the future of disk I/O contention in execution of 3D rendering engines. I'm sure you'd love to sit through that."

Sarah manages, despite herself, to laugh at what she hoped was only a joke. Did people seriously pay to listen to that kind of stuff?

It's just lunch, she tells herself. Everyone needs to eat lunch. Plus sitting through that talk with Chuck sounded suicidal. Her only other option would be joining Harriet Harding and the First Wives Club…

"Well, we are already in the car. "

Chuck nods in agreement. "That we are."