Author's Note:
Thank you to those who are following this story and especially to those who have left reviews. Someone once mentioned that reviews on FFN are like currency and in a way, they are right. Reviews are as good as gold. :)
Also, hats off to my beta reader, Lyaksandra. My war on grammar never had a better ally. ;)
Chapter 14
Wellington, New Zealand, Earth
17:00 hrs
Early evening had set in by the time Lakota and Liara left the Alliance medical facility. With the leverage of newly prescribed medication, detailed instructions on proper nutritional intake and an omni-tool upgrade that monitored and recorded the Spectre's vital signs, both Miranda and Dr. Chakwas had finally agreed to let Lakota depart with Liara. Even though she argued adamantly for her release, the Spectre was still surprised when permission was granted. Neither Miranda nor Chakwas were prone to yielding quite so easily, but she was grateful for the concession nonetheless.
The pair hailed a cab instead of walking or trying to find an Alliance shuttle and within twenty minutes they were entering the hotel where Liara was staying. By the time they reached the penthouse suite, Lakota felt in need of a shower and after a brief tour of the luxurious space she retreated to the master bathroom. She was pleasantly surprised when she found a bag full of her personal toiletries on the vanity countertop and assumed Liara confiscated it from her quarters on the Normandy. The familiar light floral scent of her shampoo and conditioner along with the clean, refreshing fragrance of the hand crafted soap helped relax both her mind and body.
After her shower, Lakota grabbed two clean white towels from the linen shelf, then stepped lightly over to the double sink vanity. She proceeded to dry her dark hair with one towel and use the other to dry off her body wrapping it around her torso afterward. When she glanced into the large mirror that hung above the vanity, water still dripping from her chin, she froze. The haunted image returning her stare was somewhat unfamiliar, but she took note of the vulnerable, pale green eyes peering back at her. They were luminescent when contrasted against her honey-toned skin. Unblemished skin. Touching her right eyebrow, Lakota haltingly traced a diagonal line over her nose, across her left cheek and ended at her jaw bone. The trademark seven-inch scar that she acquired when she was sixteen had vanished three years prior while in Cerberus' hands, and in its place was perfect, beautifully smooth skin. Flawless skin.
The absence of the once familiar scar still jarred her at times.
Letting the towel drop to the floor, Lakota scrutinized her nude body with detached curiosity, as though she was a stranger looking at it for the first time. A shiver traveled down her spine, but she wasn't sure if it was from the cool air nipping at her damp skin or from the haunted eyes staring back at her. After eight days her broken bones had mended, the dermal cream had erased any signs of second degree burns, and the multiple contusions and lacerations had all but vanished from her body.
She wasn't without permanent marks, though.
Like a moth being drawn to a flame, her vacant eyes were brought to focus on the faded image of a six inch scar that traveled vertically down her sternum between her breasts, stopping abruptly when it reached her abdomen. Another leftover reminder of her time with the Lazarus Project. At first, she was uncomfortable with the various surgical scars dispersed across her body and although the facial scarring and the marks along most of her skin had receded long ago, she still knew where each and every one was located. They were a reminder of what she had lost and also a reminder of all that had changed, but given time she had come to terms with the differences and even taken strength from them. During some of the darker moments in her healing process, Liara's unconditional acceptance had been like a guiding light offering aid when she had felt the most lost.
Lakota twisted, so she could see her back in the mirror. The ten-inch tattoo of a medicine wheel no longer existed, another piece of her previous life that was missing. The marker, much like her facial scar, had represented a pivotal time in her early life. It had been a symbol reflecting the connectedness to all living things, but had been removed as easily as wiping fog from a mirror. In its place was a long angry scar that traveled the length of her spine with neat surgical precision, pallid in hue, yet still noticeable after three years. Her right hand reached behind to her back and her fingertips began to slowly trace the raised, slightly puckered skin. The vicious mark wasn't wide, only half the width of her index finger, but the contrast compared to flawless soft skin on either side was visually shocking, and the difference only increased as it moved lower. At the base of her spine the scar became more extensive, flaring out in a semi-circle shape, reminiscent of a spider's web, with the lines eventually fading away when they reached the fleshier areas of her body.
Suddenly, an eerie chill trickled through her, sprouting at the back of her head then slipping down her spine like droplets from a melting glacier, cold and primal, leaving a residual numbness that stretched out to her limbs. She stared at her reflection, unblinking and inexpressive, wondering briefly if it truly was her body in the mirror. The image staring back at her was not one she would have expected three years ago, but now somehow it was hers and it was unmistakably real. A body enhanced with cybernetic implants that were now beginning to fail.
Preceded by a weighty, thoughtful sigh, Lakota turned around and faced her wayward reflection squarely.
What did it actually mean that her implants were failing? What happened to initiate the issue and why wasn't she feeling the effect of their breakdown more acutely? Miranda and Chakwas had done extensive testing on her body's physical resiliency and vital statistics, none of which showed any indication of being diminished or in distress because of the complications with her cybernetics. Other than the chemical imbalance, her body seemed to be adapting to the situation. Only time would tell if the pattern would continue.
As if to clear the disconsolate thoughts, she shook her head taking in a deep breath and then returned her gaze to those moody, green eyes. Instead of ruminating on questions for which she had no answer, she decided to be more proactive and began to dress without further ado. While she showered, Liara had placed clean clothes on the vanity—a white bra and matching underwear, heather grey sweatpants, and a white cotton tank top—which just so happened to be the Spectre's favorite comfy clothes. Undoubtedly, the researcher had acquired the items from the Normandy at the same time she gathered up the personal toiletries.
"Feel better?" Liara asked as she leaned her shoulder against the entryway watching her lover don a pair of white crew cut socks.
The bathroom encompassed as much space as the Asari's quarters on the Normandy, but was undeniably more elegant. In front of her, on the far wall, was a curved alcove housing a Jacuzzi large enough to comfortably accommodate two people. The tub seemed to spring out of the natural stone tiles that covered the floor and walls creating a feeling of being in a majestic outdoor haven. To the right were the double sink vanity and a door that led to a private washroom. The vanity top was made out of the same natural stone as the rest of the room, but the base was built of wood with a golden oak color that complemented the neutral tones covering the rest of the room beautifully. Long white towels with the look of extra soft cotton hung around the room at various strategic spots—around the sinks, next to the Jacuzzi and next to the walk-in shower, which was located on the left side of the room, while the two towels the Spectre used had been discarded on the floor near her feet.
Lakota turned, flashing Liara a wry grin. The mere sound of the Asari's voice tempered her somber mood instantaneously. The sight of her made it vanish completely. "Much. You definitely take rehabilitation to a new level. The penthouse suite is going to be hard to beat next time I need a place to recuperate."
"After spending half my life at remote dig sites with little to no amenities and then another quarter of it on space stations or ships with limited resources, I promised myself nothing less than first class when planet side."
"Oh, I'm not complaining, Doctor." The Spectre padded over to the Asari, so they stood face to face. "I just wanted to let you know that if you ever get lost, I'll know exactly where to find you."
"That shouldn't be a problem, Commander," the researcher said playfully.
"No?"
"No," Liara replied, an affectionate smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Because I don't plan on ever letting you out of my sight again." Then she closed the distance between them, placing a sweet, lazy kiss upon Lakota's lips.
The Spectre's hands instinctively grasped the Asari's hips and drew her in as blue arms wrapped around her neck. Lakota's still damp hair hung loosely around her face, allowing Liara's fingers ample room to become possessively entangled within it while her nails raked sensuously along her lover's scalp. Then, as though choreographed, soft lips parted allowing for the delicately slow dance of inquisitive tongues, which elicited a beguiled, low moan from the Spectre.
Lakota's left hand drifted up her lover's back enjoying the supple curves and firm muscles along the way while her right snaked around Liara's waist. Gently tightening her embrace so their bodies were pressed against one another, she deepened the exotic kiss by granting full access to her lover's enticing tongue. Lost in the blissful temptation of luring and being lured, Lakota's world faded until only the sensations bequeathed by the Asari's deftly skilled seduction were her sole breadth of life.
Time leisurely slipped away while the lovers immersed themselves unreservedly in the provocative, loving dance too long neglected. Since Lakota woke in the Alliance hospital, they had been out of sync with each other, sharing but a few brief moments of affection. Now though, their universes seemed to come together—having the time, the opportunity and the desire matching up equally for both of them so they could indulge in the decadent rewards.
"You still know how to take my breath away," Liara whispered as she reluctantly pulled her lips away, letting her forehead fall forward until it brushed against her lover's.
"I have a confession."
"Oh?"
Lakota smiled wickedly. "I want to do more than take your breath away."
"If you play your cards right, you just might get that opportunity."
The Spectre responded in the low, husky tone that never failed to thoroughly thrill the Asari. "Doctor, it's not my cards I'm interested in playing with right now." Then she playfully tightened her embrace to highlight her meaning.
"Patience, Commander," Liara said, her eyes sparkling in merriment.
They stayed wrapped in each other's arms, content to breathe in the moment of tranquility and togetherness. In the last few months, their lives had been filled with excessive tragedy, remorse and anger. The last few days had seen those same aspects overflow into their personal relationship. Taking time to revel in the feeling of being comforted and loved seemed like an adequate, if not hard won reward for all they had suffered.
Lakota cleared her throat. "Liara," she began, sounding uncomfortable, "about the other night…"
"Shepard, please, you don't need to apologize."
"But-"
Liara took a step back, pivoting slightly as though she was going to head into another room. "You don't-"
Lakota captured the Asari's forearm, forcing her to stop and turn around so they were once again face to face. "Liara, I do need to apologize," she said emphatically, her eyes wordlessly pleading for understanding.
The researcher regarded her lover thoughtfully, then silently conceded when she saw the pain and uncertainty in the troubled eyes staring back at her.
Before uttering a syllable, Lakota captured both of the Asari's hands in hers, placing a soft kiss on the back of each as though conferring her regret in the gentle caress. "I'm sorry about the other night. I was trying so hard to control my irritation with everything... not feeling well, Javik's attitude, the Alliance watching my every move, not being able to get in touch with you… but, I just made it worse. Then you were there and I felt my irritation grow. The more I tried to contain it, the angrier I became... and the less control I had." Lakota exhaled slowly. "That's not an excuse. It's just how it happened. I never intended to scare you."
Liara hesitated, and then carefully raised her hand, drawing her fingertips lightly along the Spectre's cheek. "You weren't yourself."
"I'm responsible for my own actions," Lakota said stiffly. Then, she inhaled deeply, her jaw quivering, her eyes dark and stormy as she raised them to meet the Asari's squarely.
A compassionate smile graced Liara's lips as her hand opened and tenderly cupped her lover's cheek, her fingertips gently playing with the strands of hair on the back of her neck. "You are being too hard on yourself. You heard what Miranda and Dr. Chakwas had to say. You were under an unusual amount of stress… emotionally, mentally, physically… Then, with the added influence of your body's chemical imbalance-"
"A bitch was born," the Spectre finished sardonically and then lowered her head.
Liara dipped her head in response, catching her lover's eye and offering her a small smile. "Shepard, it's okay. I forgive you."
Lakota hesitated, then allowed herself a wan smile, though her gaze was still dark and troubled. "I'm not sure I deserve it, but… okay."
"Hey," the researcher's mouth softened as her arms enveloped the Spectre in a tight embrace. "Maybe you've forgotten, but… I love you."
Lakota felt a melting inside her as her guilt and shame dissolved under the unconditional devotion of her partner. For the first time in what seemed an eternity, though it was only a few days, she felt as if she was finally thinking clearly. "I love you too, Liara," she whispered fiercely, returning the embrace.
"I know," Liara replied, snuggling her body in that familiar way—tucked up under her lover's chin—as if there were only the two of them in the universe and nothing else mattered. "Which is why I also know you'd never intentionally hurt me."
Lakota placed a soft, lingering kiss on the Asari's forehead, then nestled her cheek against the warm skin her lips had just anointed. "True," she whispered. "Never."
After a few peaceful moments within each other's arms, Liara sighed contentedly and lifted her head off of the Spectre's shoulder, blue eyes finding the deep pools of light green. She smiled lovingly while leaning in to bestow a gentle kiss on the Spectre's lips. The contact was unimaginably soft, and yet, it was hypnotically sensual in its allure.
As Liara's body pressed up against Lakota's, a soft, startled gasp parted the human's lips, which created the perfect opportunity for the asari's tongue to dart into her mouth. The sharp teeth, silky smooth inner cheek, rough tongue, and incredible heat, left Lakota's senses burning. Her mouth moved under Liara's, following the leisurely rhythm of their smoldering exchange.
"There are other things for us to talk about," Lakota said reluctantly after the enthralling kiss had ended.
Liara nodded in agreement. "First, however, you're going to eat," she instructed, and was abruptly in motion again, pulling Lakota along with her.
Surprised, the Spectre protested. "But I'm not-" she tried to say as she was propelled through the penthouse to the kitchen and directed to sit on a stool at the breakfast bar. "Really, Liara, I'm not that hungry."
"Too bad," the Asari said crisply while she stood at the other side of the mini-kitchen, next to the counter with her back towards the Spectre, intent on some unfathomable task involving some unfamiliar equipment.
Lakota leaned forward, placing her elbows on the bar with her hands clasped together forming a triangle. As she rested her chin on her thumbs, she smiled, idly enjoying the view of the Asari's curvaceous posterior and graceful poise. The researcher was mesmerizing to behold. Her movements in the small kitchen were both adept and minimalistic like a dancer whose fluidity was bound not only in the current pose but knowing how it blended into the next.
A pleasant shudder passed through Lakota as unbidden images of her lover's physical prowess and flexibility flashed in her mind. She breathed in deeply as though inhaling the erotic memories, savoring each one and lightly biting her lower lip in the process. After a moment, she softly exhaled, basking in the intimate remembrances as they faded from view.
Then, an unmistakable aroma assaulted Lakota nostrils, and with a dazed wonder, she watched Liara bring over a mug, the contents steaming slightly. She received the hot beverage with both hands and almost immediately brought the cup to her lips. However, she did not drink. Instead, she breathed in deeply, as if paying homage to some ambrosial nectar, luxuriating in the unique scent of the strong, bitter brew. Then, she exhaled slowly, her expression softening to reflect the soothing effect the aroma had on her mind.
"Few smells are as comforting to me as this."
Blue eyes twinkling, Liara replied, "I remember."
"Oh my," the Spectre said, taking her first, ecstatic taste of the freshly ground black coffee. "You are a godsend, T'Soni."
"I learned back on the Normandy that the quickest way to your heart was through a good cup of black coffee."
"My heart? Hell, I'll give you my soul."
"What makes you think it's not mine already?" Liara said cheekily, winking for added effect. Then, she spun on her heel, returning to the counter and her preparations.
The Spectre laughed as she took another drink of the dark brew, savoring the rich, smooth blend that was the absolute best she had ever tasted. "This is absolutely divine. Thank you."
Liara glanced back, smiling a glowing smile over her shoulder. "I'm glad you like it," she replied, as she pulled down the oven door and removed a covered dish.
After a few moments of arranging, she returned to the table with a stack of buttermilk pancakes, maple syrup, utensils and butter. "Here… you need to eat."
As if on cue, Lakota's stomach growled. "Liara," she said contemplating the steaming plate of pancakes, "this is amazing." She placed her mug on the counter and looked at the Asari with an awestruck expression. Now she knew what the Asari was doing while she showered. "How in the world did you manage this? The coffee alone is impressive, but with the strict rationing and non-existent supply chains both the flour and sugar should have been impossible to find."
"Apparently, impossible is not beyond my reach."
"Apparently not."
"I know it's your favorite," the Asari explained nonchalantly, "so I keep a small supply of ingredients on hand… in case of emergencies."
"And this is an emergency?"
"I believe it is."
"Oh," the Spectre mumbled dumbly. She was both stunned and touched that the researcher had gone to such efforts for her. "I'm not sure I can eat all this though."
"Well, since I made them, you must try," Liara ordered loftily, and then softened. "What you can't eat, I'll finish. Nothing will go to waste."
Reluctantly, Lakota surrendered and buttered the pancakes with a knife, poured some maple syrup on them and then cut them into small square pieces. When she brought a full forkful to her mouth and closed her lips around the small fluffy wedges, her eyes became twice as large as normal. "Holy Mother of Garrus," she moaned in delight. Then her eyes closed as she savored the buttery, sweet delicacy that seemed to melt in her mouth. "I forgot how good your pancakes are." Lakota opened her eyes, smiled mirthfully, and then set about devouring the meal in front of her.
In between bites, the Spectre commented, "I think these could have helped us win the war."
Liara raised a curious eyebrow. "You do?"
"I believe," Lakota said, a faint smile touching her lips, "when lost in fear and despair or in hopelessness and tragedy that salvation can be found in a pancake."
"And if there are no pancakes readily available?" Liara asked teasingly.
The Spectre paused, looking thoughtfully at the forkful of fluffy goodness in front of her. "Fortunately, rescue can still be found in other ways. Like a kind gesture, a subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace. Not to mention a reliable sniper rifle, a bubble bath, a good cup of coffee and maybe the occasional omni-tool upgrade."
"That's quite the list."
"But the list is much larger than that because it's the nuances, the subtleties, the anomalies which we assume only accessorize our days that actually do a whole lot more and for a much larger and nobler cause."
"They offer reassurance?" Liara offered.
"Reassurance is part of it." Lakota sipped some more coffee, relishing in the full-flavored liquid as it slipped past her tongue. "Life is made up of so many tiny details. If you stop noticing the details, stop finding enjoyment in them, then the big picture doesn't end up meaning very much."
"So your advice is to pay attention to life's little details?"
The Spectre nodded adamantly. "They're here to save our lives, after all."
"That's quite the responsibility." Liara noticed that the Spectre's coffee cup was empty, so she refilled it after getting a glass of orange juice for herself.
Lakota returned her lover's kindness with a thankful smile. "I know the idea may seem strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true."
"And how do you know that?"
"Because… I think this pancake just saved my life."
Liara smiled affectionately and leaned forward to plant a brief but hard and sensuous skiss on her lover's lips. "There is no other in the universe like you, Commander."
"And there is no other like you, Doctor," Lakota said somewhat wistfully. "If the universe were all the same…"
"…then there would be no remarkable pancakes to enjoy."
"Exactly!"
The Spectre sat back in her chair, sipping from a second cup of the wonderful brew and studying her lover across the counter, realizing suddenly that times like these had been too few and far between. To sit and have breakfast together, to spend a lazy moment in each other's company... she had been denying herself one of the simple pleasures, life's little details that she'd just finished talking about, something that makes life worth living.
Liara looked at her curiously. "Are you full?" she asked.
"Stuffed," the Spectre said, patting her stomach. "That was wonderful, Liara. Thank you."
"You need to eat," Liara replied, and there was a hint of rebuke in her voice.
Lakota wondered exactly what Miranda and Dr. Chakwas had told her when they were conferring alone. Well, she would deal with that later, or maybe she would let someone else take care of her for a while. That thought made her smile. "If you keep serving coffee and pancakes, I don't think that will be a problem." Regarding the Asari with loving eyes, she added, "But you shouldn't worry too much. I've gone a lot longer eating a lot less during a time that was a lot more stressful."
"That's a lot of a lots."
"And with good reason." Lakota took another sip of coffee, then stared intently into the mug of dark liquid. "After waking up in that Cerberus lab, it took three weeks before my body could handle solid food."
"I… I didn't know that."
"Other than Chakwas, no one did. Well, except maybe for Miranda." A soft, teasing smile played on Lakota's lips. "She's like you. She likes to snoop."
Liara pursed her lips at the smug look on the Spectre's face. "Well, I care about you, so it's my prerogative to worry. Especially since it's in your nature to neglect your health."
Lakota scoffed. "I don't neglect my health."
The Asari rolled her eyes in disbelief as she took a sip from her glass of orange juice.
"What? I'm as healthy as a horse."
Not being familiar with the native Earth equine, Liara raised a bewildered eyebrow.
"Think of it as a really big varren with long legs."
"Shepard," Liara said, sounding slightly incredulous, "you just left the hospital. I doubt you are as healthy as this… creature or any other for that matter."
"I bet I'm healthier than a pyjak."
"I know you sometimes act like one."
Lakota laughed, almost choking on her coffee.
Although Liara had been teasing, there were times when the Spectre shared characteristics with the "space monkies", but she also suspected that it was usually a deliberate act on her lover's part.
With an impish gleam in her eye, the Spectre said, "Then it's a mystery why you put up with me at all, Doctor."
"Actually, that's quite simple, Commander. Multiple orgasms."
This time Lakota did choke on her coffee.
…
19:30 hrs
"Shepard, why were you at the gardens this morning?"
The pair were lounging together on the long, dark brown couch which faced the picture windows overlooking the bay, enjoying the brilliant hues of orange and red splashed across the sky as the sun began to dip below the horizon.
"Samara was helping me with some mediation techniques. I was desperate to get my emotions under control." Lakota shifted her shoulders a bit, settling further into the overstuffed cushions. "Who knew that all it would take to correct was some drugs?" She chuckled softly. "Guess that proves I'm not a sociopath."
"They're still ruling out psychopath," Liara said teasingly.
"There's probably a drug to correct that, too."
The Asari leaned in, placing a soft kiss on her lover's right cheek. Then, she snuggled in as close as she could get, resting her head on the Spectre's shoulder. "What else did the two of you talk about?"
"What I remembered."
"Tell me about it."
And Lakota did.
Her eyes clouded over as she began recounting the events after the Normandy's emergency EVAC. She did this without inflection or added emotion or apology, speaking as though she was giving a mission debriefing to the Alliance Command Council.
Liara, for her part, listened quietly with single-minded intensity. She was very still, sitting with her knees together, feet propped up on the coffee table. She had changed from her blue and white jumpsuit into cream colored satin lounge pants and a matching long sleeved, button-down blouse. She nodded her head, furrowed her brows and pursed her lips at various times during the recounting, but she never interrupted or asked any questions. Instead, she listened with her whole self.
Lakota spoke of running toward the beam and her first moments on the Citadel, the macabre scene with the Keepers shuffling around mutilated bodies. She relayed the conversation with Anderson and the Illusive Man, described the Cerberus leader's visible marks of indoctrination and how she convinced him to reclaim his humanity and take his own life. Her voice broke once during her narration and that was when she recited the last conversation she had with Anderson before he died quietly at her side. Although she knew her recollections were in some way false, Anderson after all was actually alive, the rawness of the remembered event and the sentiment woven in their conversation was still overwhelming.
From that point, she went on to describe meeting the Catalyst and the story it relayed about the Reapers, the cycle and the Crucible. Then, she recited the options it presented, the ramifications of each, and the choice she ultimately made. Lakota even spoke honestly about the fact that she thought she was knowingly going to her death. Although it seemed a shame that Liara would have to know such a thing since it was bound to make her anxious on some level, but a long time ago they had agreed that neither of them would decide what the other one should know.
Liara was silent for a moment, still curled up against Lakota, watching as the last rays of light over the bay faded away. She breathed quietly, collecting her thoughts. "Obviously, I've always known what you do is dangerous." Then, she smiled slowly, though there wasn't any pleasure in it. "After all, you died once already."
"I'm sorry that what I do always seems to spill out over us."
Liara shook her head once. "You don't need to be," she said. "It's not an aspect that I am particularly fond of, but it can't be helped, especially now. Our… occupations overlap in more ways than one these days." She squeezed her lover's hand reassuringly. "Tell me the rest."
With her lover's encouragement, Lakota relayed her doubts.
The Catalyst told her that all synthetics would cease to exist, but that hadn't happen. EDI was still with them, along with a large percentage of the Geth. Even she lived through the ordeal. She had been so sure the Catalyst's bleak ending would come to pass, and even though her heart and mind had screamed against the limited choices, her instincts said it was telling the truth. Now, however, since events didn't unfold that way, she questioned whether or not there was some choice, some path that she missed. Could she have avoided all of this? Could she have saved all the Geth?
Lakota shrugged her shoulders. "Of course, there's another possibility," she said grimly. "The Catalyst lied about everything."
"Or," Liara offered, "it was just guessing what would happen."
Pale green eyes blinked back at her.
Liara tilted her head and a delicate smile played on her lips as she carefully scrutinized the woman in front of her. "You are assuming too much. You assume that it could predict what the Crucible would do once activated, but there's no way it could have known. Not absolutely. The Crucible was an unknown quantity and all the Catalyst could offer was a logical deduction, an educated guess as to what might happen. Of course it would try to manipulate and push you towards an end that would complete its perceived perfection, because that was its primary objective. It admitted as much while talking with you."
"True. It was really pushing the synthesis option."
"You have to stop second guessing yourself," Liara said, not unkindly. "It's counterproductive."
"It's not about second guessing my choice. It's about taking a second look at the whole thing. The big picture." Frowning, Lakota continued, "I was found in London, buried under a building. If I was really on the Citadel, how did I get there?"
"And you thought Anderson died…"
"Right, but he didn't. He's alive."
"I wonder what that means for the Illusive Man."
"I don't know, though I suspect nothing good. You and I both thought he was indoctrinated before we got to London." Lakota paused for a moment remembering the visual effects of the alien tech imbedded within his skin. "Piece of shit warned the Reapers we were coming," she growled.
Liara placed a calming hand on her lover's thigh. "If you're not second guessing your choices, then why have you been so… self-castigating?"
The Spectre sighed heavily while her hand covered the blue one on her thigh, squeezing as though it was a grounding entity. "It's a combination of things, but ultimately I was having trouble reconciling the fact that I was willing to end EDI's life. In fact, to end the Reapers, I would have sacrificed any one of us. Even you..." She swallowed hard, biting back the shame in the admission.
"I would have gone willingly if it meant their genocide was put to an end." Liara frowned, her eyes darkening perceptibly. "I saw what they did to Thessia… I saw my home world being destroyed, my people being slaughtered by an enemy they couldn't defend against…" Choking back a sob, she said, "I would have done anything… anything… to stop them. Dying would have been a small price to pay."
Lakota wrapped her right arm around the Asari's shoulders, pulling her closer and placing a comforting kiss on her forehead. She understood her lover's sentiment and when their eyes met, a silent understanding emerged, one that they'd never fully articulate but was there nonetheless. "I understand."
"Good. So no more guilt about your decision."
"Samara said something similar. And you're both right, but it's not that simple."
"With you, it never is," Liara chided softly.
"Dying was just a consequence. And while I might feel bad for killing someone, it's not the same as feeling shame for my choice. The choice that caused their death."
"Agreed, but in this situation, like so many others in life, you were choosing between what's wrong and what's less wrong," Liara insisted. "You rarely have the luxury of a clearly defined 'right' in any given situation. And sometimes, even when it does seem right, it's not right at all."
The Spectre frowned, obviously ruminating on the Asari's words seriously. "I don't know," she finally said, and now her tone was one of frustration.
"I don't believe that anyone else could have defeated the Reapers." Liara's left hand slid down to her lover's knee, her thumb rubbing along the soft, cotton fabric in a soothing motion. "I don't believe that we, or the ship, would have survived for as long as we have without your leadership."
An expression crossed the Spectre's face, soft and vulnerable. "I don't get to hear that much," she admitted quietly. "Though I suspect you're biased."
Liara raised an eyebrow. "Not in this," she said as emphatically as possible. "None of us would have followed anyone less than you, Shepard. At one point you commanded ex-Cerberus operatives, a Krogan, Quarian, Turian, Salarian, Asari, Geth, and Drell, along with a fully sentient unshackled AI… No one else could have forged such a diverse crew into one that functioned so well." She paused, searching for the proper words. "I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Even before we were involved romantically, I spoke with many about you and your abilities."
"I do recall an incident where you hacked my Alliance personnel files…"
"That only happened once," Liara said haughtily. "Still, I learned more about you by listening while others spoke in places such as the Mess or the observation lounge. The overwhelming opinion is that you're a formidable leader and one they served without hesitation."
Lakota frowned in confusion as if disbelieving what her lover had said.
The Asari took the Spectre's hand in her own, studying the long fingers, the squarely cut nails. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before, but it just didn't occur to me. I think we all believe on some level that you're absolutely confident, that you don't need any encouragement or appreciation. That was a wrong assumption."
Lakota smiled shyly and squeezed Liara's hands. "Thank you for telling me now," she said sincerely.
Liara's right hand reached out, capturing the back of the Spectre's head and gently guided their lips together in a quietly poignant kiss that was both comforting and mesmerizing.
Afterwards, the pair leaned back, snuggling together on the couch. They were content to watch the stars slowly make an appearance over the city's skyline while existing in the peaceful stillness of the moment.
"I've been having these dreams…" Lakota said hesitantly, breaking the companionable silence.
"Commander?"
"No. Not like that," the Spectre said, playfully nudging the Asari with her shoulder. "But I do admit that my lead in was a bit deceptive."
"What are they about?"
Lakota sighed heavily and then her lips pursed together as though ruminating on a distasteful thought. "Death. Destruction. Whole worlds dying. I don't recognize them, and it's a different one each time. The images are so vivid and disturbing that I hesitate to call them dreams. They're more like nightmares. I know that doesn't sound strange when you consider what we've just gone through, but it's not the content that's so… unsettling. It's the feeling…"
"The feeling?"
"Like I'm divided. That I'm of two worlds, both a participant and a spectator." Lakota's gaze shifted to looking out the window onto Wellington bay and the city's moonless nighttime skyline. From the confines of the penthouse, the panoramic waterscape appeared serene and peaceful. "There's an overwhelming sense that the images are real, the places are real, the people dying are real… and I'm just remembering it all."
Liara sat up, twisting slightly so she was facing her lover, directing her full attention to the shift in conversation. Her legs were tucked behind her on the cushions while her left arm stretched across the top of the couch. Her fingers crept into the hair at the back of Lakota's neck, reveling in the feel of the silken threads and the warm skin beneath her touch. "That sounds familiar. Like the visions you had after touching the Prothean Beacon on Eden Prime."
Nodding, the Spectre said, "I thought the same thing." Her voice became more intense as she continued. "I know this is going to sound crazy, but there's something important in them. I know it. I feel it. A message of some kind…"
Liara's eyes narrowed. She didn't think the feeling was crazy at all. "Shepard… when you were recovering in the hospital after your surgery, but wouldn't wake up… something happened…" Her voice tapered off as memories of that night – ones woven in fear and confusion – drifted through her mind.
Lakota kept quiet and waited for her lover to continue.
"While sitting at your bedside, I fell asleep and when I woke I was in one of your dreams." The Asari paused to collect her thoughts. One aspect from that experience still sent chills down her spine. "It was exactly like the reoccurring nightmare you described to me, except for one difference. There was a bodiless voice overshadowing everything, but I was unable to recognize it or anything about it."
"What did it say?"
"It repeated three words over and over again: Leave this place."
"That won't win you any friends," Lakota said sarcastically. "What did you make of it?"
"At the time, I didn't give it much thought because soon after you awoke. And for an Asari, sharing dreams with someone they're exceptionally close to...," Liara bit her lower lip nervously, "…a bondmate, is not uncommon. But now, with you having these dreams…"
Hearing the term endearment sent a warm, pleasurable tingle through Lakota's body and she couldn't help the adoring grin that erupted immediately afterward. "Yeah, makes you wonder what's going on in my head."
Liara nodded. "It does."
"What about melding?" the Spectre asked. "You were able to help me decipher the images from the beacon, maybe it would work on these, too."
"It might. I think it's worth trying."
"Good. So… now? No time like the present?"
"No. Not tonight. I think tomorrow would be better… After we've both gotten some rest." Liara smiled shyly, admiring the luminescent depth of the pale green eyes, unique and striking, that were staring back at her. "I didn't sleep well last night."
"Neither did I," Lakota said while leaning in to placing a quick kiss on her lover's cheek. She knew exactly why neither of them had slept well and felt a brief stab of shame in that awareness.
Smiling mischievously, Liara replied, "Then we'd both better get our required amount of sleep tonight."
The Spectre opened her mouth to speak, but the words caught in her throat and instead she returned the coy smile with one of her own. Like so many other times before, the human had been rendered speechless by the seductive being at her side. The shimmering fabric of the Asari's loungewear hugged her subtle curves and svelte lines with intimate finesse, creating an aura of both ethereal grace and divine elegance. And the dazzling blue eyes—lively and inviting—hinted at the enthralling possibility of becoming lost within their depth. Any one of these facets alone would have been enough to make the Spectre pause, but all of them woven together created an irresistible vision of provocative beauty.
Lakota's draw to Liara went beyond the mere aspects of physical beauty, though. Over the years, she had come to rely on the Asari's input, her scientific if not logical point of view, offering the balance the Spectre needed. It was an objective eye when faced with difficult decisions. As their relationship deepened, Liara's importance within her life matured into a powerful role. She became more than a lover, more than a squad mate, more than a helper—she was a true companion.
"I just realized something important," Lakota said, stroking Liara's arm. "It's obvious now that I think about it… but I guess I never really took the time to look at it."
"What's that?"
"I think I could handle all of this without you…"
Liara tilted her head, blinking back her confusion. "I'm sure you could, too."
"But I know I wouldn't handle it nearly as well."
The hint of a shy smile curled on the Asari's lips. "Then I'm glad you don't have to, Commander."
"Me too, Doctor," Lakota said reverently. Then, she wrapped an arm around the researcher's shoulders and pulled her close. "Me, too."
…
22:00 hrs
The Spectre lay on her back on the couch, resting quietly as she regarded the stars twinkling in the obsidian backdrop of the night sky. Though this had turned into something of an extended discussion, she discovered that it was actually helping her achieve a sort of perspective. It was most definitely an improvement over the long and dreary hours she had spent alone fighting her demons so many times before. She glanced over to where Liara was retrieving some refreshments from the kitchen, bringing both glasses over to the couch. The Spectre rose to let Liara sit down and then settled back, laying her head on the Asari's lap and accepting the glass of water, resting it on her stomach.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
The Spectre closed her eyes, feeling a sort of easy detachment steal over her. It was the same sense of alertness that occurred whenever she had been awake for a long time, as if her body was no longer a consideration in how she functioned. She knew that she should be exhausted, and in fact probably was. She had simply moved into the level beyond tiredness... She could go days like this, though the severity of the eventual crash, when it came, was directly proportional to how long and hard she pushed herself.
With her eyes still closed, Lakota asked, "I noticed that you haven't been called away or checked your messages since we arrived. That's unusual."
"Not any longer." Liara tenderly stroked her lover's raven-black hair, enjoying the silky texture of the clean locks. Each caress, hypnotic and soothing, yielded tranquil waves of contentment for both the giver and receiver.
In a hushed, almost indistinguishable tone, Lakota murmured, "No? What changed?"
"I had an epiphany," the Asari stated simply. "Being the Shadow Broker is all consuming, and while we were at war, I was willing to devote every ounce of energy to the organization. But when the war ended, the demands remained. While you were in the hospital I found myself sacrificing the time I had with you to help strangers in need."
Lakota opened her eyes, staring up at her lover's serious expression. "That's sorta what we do."
"Yes, it is." Liara weighed her words before responding. "I still want that life. I enjoy what I do, but I am no longer willing to give up everything else in its pursuit."
"So… the Shadow Broker only has part-time hours now?" Lakota questioned.
"Not exactly," Liara said cryptically. "Instead of trying to do this all on my own, I asked for help."
Somewhat startled by the admission, the Spectre's brows furrowed. "Really? Who's the lucky person with no personal life?"
"Ms. Lawson."
Lakota blinked, clearly surprised. "Miranda?"
"Yes."
"But I thought you hated her."
"Hate is a strong word," Liara said, not quite answering the implied question. "In the past, she and I have disagreed-"
The Spectre interrupted, saying, "Almost came to blows if memory serves me right…"
Liara rolled her eyes in mock exasperation as she continued her explanation. "I still believe she harbors an infatuation towards you, but she is exceptionally qualified. In fact, she was the best choice."
Lakota ignored the comment about Miranda's romantic interest. She felt that the Asari harbored ridiculous thoughts about the ex-Cerberus officer and to express an opinion would only encourage it. "I've no doubt she'll be an asset, and if her help means that I'll be able to spend more time with you, then I'm all for it."
The glass of water—still resting on her stomach—almost slipped out of her fingers, so the Spectre placed it on the coffee table. She applied a full-length, feline-like stretch to her body before settling back down with her head once again resting comfortably in the Asari's lap. "But, when did you decide this? When did she agree?"
"It's been on my mind for a while, but only recently did it become an issue that I wanted to resolve." Liara's fingertips slowly traced the portrait of her lover's face—across the plane of her forehead, following the curve of her dark eyebrows, along the soft flesh of her cheeks, brushing over the length of her nose, and finally tracing the supple line of her lips, eventually coming to rest on the tip of her chin. "After I left your apartment, I met with Miranda. The request didn't surprise her. I think she was more surprised that I wasn't seeking to give it all up. We were at the remote facility discussing the details when she got the call from Dr. Chakwas. Obviously, we still have a lot to sort out, but she's a quick study, and with the help of Glyph and Feron, I believe the transition will be fairly smooth." Blue fingertips moved to smooth back soft strands of dark hair. "It helps that she already has a basic knowledge of the network and what Feron and I have been doing for the past eighteen months."
Lakota sighed happily, savoring the delicious sensation of her lover's fingertips playing with her hair. "I think it's a good match for her," she said honestly. "The position plays to her strengths and I think she'll enjoy the organized chaos."
"I believe so, too," Liara said, stifling a yawn.
"Well, now I know why you're so tired." In truth, Lakota was feeling the drowsy effects of troubled sleep as well. Plus, the Asari's soothing caresses were starting to induce a blissful heaviness throughout her body. "At least we're on the same page."
With a suggestive gleam in her eyes, Liara asked, "So does that mean I can entice you to bed?"
"You don't even have to ask twice."
…
23:30 hrs
After brushing her teeth, Lakota entered the dark bedroom, shed her comfy clothes and crawled into the king-size bed. It didn't take long for her to navigate across the silken sheets and find a comfortable position snuggled up against Liara who welcomed her into her arms with open joy.
Although they were both tired, the Asari wasn't surprised when the Spectre immediately sought out her lips. The kiss was wonderfully deep and lingering in the warm darkness as strong hands adoringly caressed the graceful curves and flawless plains of her smooth azure skin. The Spectre needed this healing, Liara suspected. Each of them did in different ways, and she was pleased to both give and receive the pleasurable comfort of a physical joining.
This particular type of lovemaking was extremely slow and gentle, a quiet celebration of delight that basked in the intimacy of their desire and the cherished familiarity of each other's touch. Lakota's hands and mouth were tender, building the yearning in Liara with steady skill even as she loved her in return, pressing against the heat of her body with a delicate, sweet passion. It grew to encompass them, their respiration quickening, the intensity of their caresses increasing as they came together. Wordless demands of pleasure, muttered instructions and incoherent moans filled the night until finally, ecstatically, they surged against each other, the mutual peak throbbing deliciously within them before it released them to the golden afterglow.
Afterward, they lay together in the cozy comfort of the bed with Liara quietly resting her head on Lakota's chest and lazily draping her right arm across her torso. Warmth emanated from the bare skin on skin contact while the rhythmic heartbeat pulsed in the Asari's ear and tingled across her face lulling her into a sedentary, peaceful contentment. She loved that steady sound, both life-affirming and grounding.
Still floating in her own lethargic haze, Lakota tightened her right arm, which was wrapped around Liara's shoulders, directing the Asari to snuggle further into her bare form. Then, breathing in deeply, she drank in her lover's familiar scent, a subtle lavender mixed with a hint of some unknown spice, as her fingertips began to absently trace a path across the alluring landscape of azure skin. Even though spent and exhausted, Lakota needed to feel the body beneath her fingers. It was a way to confirm this moment was real and not a dream.
Soothed by the caresses, Liara placed a series of deliberate, dainty kisses down the soft, heated flesh of Lakota's chest, her tongue gently ruffling the faint ridges of scar tissue angling through the valley of her breasts. She loved this woman, wholly, completely, scars and all. As she closed her eyes to place the final kiss, Liara imagined all of the tenderness and devotion she felt was a luxurious blanket enveloping her lover in lingering depths of enraptured adoration.
When Liara finally opened her eyes, she saw Lakota staring in candid reverence. A shy, coy smile graced the asari's lips and her hand reached out, cupping the back of the Spectre's head, guiding their lips together to relish in their mutual bliss. The passionate yet delicate kiss carried the implied sympathy, the inferred compassion and implicit trust bound within their union.
After the kiss ended, Liara snuggled back into her lover's embrace as though trying to blend their essences again.
"Liara?"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
Smiling contentedly, Liara burrowed in even closer. "I love you too."