Chapter 14: Fragile secrets

Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul.

Saya had not heard news from Kaneki in a long while. After providing him with the list, he thanked her and told her to stay safe after which he disappeared back into the shadows where he seemed to belong as of late. She heard snippets of conversation between her father and brother and had stocked up on information from various newspapers as they avidly described incredible events such as the exposure and termination of the ghoul restaurant in the 7th ward or the mysterious killings of ghouls who had previously escaped from Cochlea. While the entire Japan wondered who was responsible of such a feat, Saya was certain she knew their identity. His, to be more precise.

She was worried about him; after all, he was risking his life every day and yet, all she could selfishly think about was how lucky she was that Uta chose to stay away from this conflict. His involvement would have complicated matters considerably, not to mention the strain it would put on her heart. It was already excruciating enough dining at the same table as her family, trying her best to act normal. Ever since that day she sneaked into Kishou's office, she could not bring herself to look him in the eye. Even breathing the same air was suffocating. If only Kishou knew what she had done...he would...She stopped in mid-sentence, her brain suddenly empty. In all truth, Saya couldn't come up with a continuation to that sentence. She did not know what her brother would do...how exactly would he react? Would he lock her inside the house? Would he send her away to Germany? Would he...hurt her? The possibilities were numerous and as much as she thought she knew her brother, she could not see a clear answer.

Or maybe… he would stay silent, waiting for the right time to strike. She looked at him from across the table as he enjoyed his non-alcoholic drink and shuddered instinctively. In that moment, Kishou put his empty glass down, his eyes suddenly catching hers. She flinched and looked the other way.

'Are you going out today?' He asked her steadily.

'Yes,' Saya replied, still avoiding his gaze. 'My friends and I are meeting up for a cup of coffee.'

'That's good. You need some fresh air, lately you've been spending too much time in your room.'

That, she was. After her last talk with Kaneki, Saya decided it was the right moment to put a stop to her ignorance and borrowed as much reading material as she could from the library and her father's study, all ghoul-related. When she was not out meeting with Uta or attending university classes, Saya locked herself in her room and studied about different ghoul types that existed; she perfected the knowledge she had over specialized terms such as 'kagune', 'RC cells' and 'kakugan', not having touched her drawing pad in weeks. Up till now she had been absolutely clueless, believing that all ghouls were the same; after absorbing so much, a new universe opened to her and indeed, she learned there were offensive and defensive ghoul types that each manifested according to their biology. They were no longer grotesque monsters who fed on human flesh, Saya could now categorize them, ascertain their level of power and comprehend how they functioned. In between her readings, Saya finally realized she did not know what kind of ghoul Uta was and promised herself to ask him the next time they met.

She also read about quinques, about extraction methods and resistance degrees; Saya was undeniably her grandfather's descendant, her curiosity and absorption skills reaching alarming stages. Bit by bit, the possibility of Kaneki's operation being plausible emerged in her head as well, slightly understanding how to go around it, her head hurting just by imagining the process. Everything was incredible.

´I've been working on my sketches,' Saya lied.

Really, everything she said to her family was a lie, lately.

Kishou nodded, not dwelling much on the truth of that fact and stood up.

´I'll see you tonight,' he offered instead of a goodbye. As soon as he left, Saya also abandoned the dining table and headed upstairs to change in preparation for her so-called friends reunion. She needed to hurry, Uta was waiting.

He actually wanted to arrive at Anteiku earlier but now it was impossible to enter, not with two doves casually drinking coffee inside. Uta saw them push the handle to the café's door just in time he came round the corner. He kept a short watch on them from outside until he affirmed their peaceful intentions and crossed the street to the other side, prepared to spot Saya from his vantage point the moment she arrived. One of them was tall and well-built while his partner was white-haired and considerably younger. The taller one's face was familiar however the latter one brought no particular name to Uta's mind and that rose some suspicions.

A few minutes later, Saya arrived and upon seeing him signal over to her, she marched in his direction, her face pale.

´What's wrong? ´ She inquired, already feeling there was a problem.

´We can't go in just yet, ´ Uta revealed, pointing at a certain window from Anteiku. Saya followed the trajectory of his finger, her eyes resting on the two last people she wanted snooping around the café. Her hand instinctively latched onto Uta's sleeve, drawing closer to him.

´Those are special investigators Shinohara and Suzuya. Why are they here? ´

Shinohara's name rang recognition in Uta's ears as he remembered hearing that name plenty on the news and seeing his face in his early confrontations with inspectors. Catering to Saya's question, Uta complied.

´It's no surprise they finally traced some facts back to his place.´

It wasn't. In fact, they should have done so a long time ago, Anteiku had been sheltered longer than anyone would expect however it was blood-chilling to see investigators walking straight into a ghoul's nest without having a clue of who exactly was under their noses. Everything seemed calm inside from that distance, even pleasant; just two customers enjoying their coffee and having a casual conversation with the staff.

´It's alright. It's going to be alright. They're not trouble, I promise, ´ Saya vouched, more for Shinohara than that white-haired brat whose unpredictability reached heroic peaks. If everyone played their cards right, they would stay safe by the time the investigators would leave. But that was not certain. What was certain was that now the CCG had established a link between this place and ghouls and that could only mean they were getting closer to uncovering Kaneki's identity and lastly, her own affiliation with him and Uta. She waited alongside Uta, prepared for anything that could trigger a tragedy and found herself arduously praying internally for everything to go well or else she would have to stop Uta from charging into Anteiku to defend his friends, or worse, deal with casualties she did not want to think about. To their relief, the inspectors left sooner than later, Saya exhaling a breath she had kept in for a while. Just a few steps away from the café as Uta wanted to lead them towards it when Saya grabbed his arm again and stopped it in his tracks. She replied to his inquiring look with a worrisome one.

´Not just yet, let them get further away. They might be human but they are not to be underestimated.´ Especially not Suzuya, Saya added silently, having experienced the young inspector's sharp sense more than once. She was sure he could smell them somehow.

Until the moment Saya could see no trace left of the two investigators did she loosen her grip on Uta's arm and began walking next to him towards Anteiku. She expected spirits to be high after the unexpected visit of the CCG but everything seemed to be normal, no tension befalling the room whatsoever, as if they were cleaning up after regular customers and not their nemesis. Touka was behind the counter drying off cups alongside the Manager while two other members of the staff tended the tables. They were greeted as soon as they entered.

'What did they want?' Saya dove right into the matter, taking a seat at the counter, Uta following her example. He had a feeling this was no longer going to be a date but an interrogation. How much like her family she was and she did not even realize it, Uta thought, somewhat amused. Touka however, did not seem to share the same positive outlook as she glared at Saya, blatantly blaming her for anything negative that happened to them. Fortunately, the manager encouraged an opposite behavior.

'It seems you have spotted the two gentlemen that left a while ago.'

'Uta did, I was about to charge in. There's no safe heaven left, is there?'

'There has never been one, Arima-san. We've just created the illusion of one but all things come to an end and it seems Anteiku is breathing its last.'

She ignored the melancholic expression on his face, pressing the issue further.

'It's worrisome that they came here. I know them very well, they work closely with my brother and they're excellent in...their field of work.'

'Oh, I'm sure of that. They're also quite polite which is why you need to maintain your calm, Arima-san. They only came here to inquire about Kaneki.'

Saya's eyes widened, panic beginning to strangle her every fiber.

'And what did you say?' she questioned, aiming the inquiry at everyone behind the counter. She hoped the moment investigators came in demanding information on her college friend would be delayed for a bit longer but in the end, it was exactly as the manager said, this place was probably dispersing into shadows, much like Kaneki himself.

'What else was there to say, Arima-san? We simple spoke the truth. Kaneki was a part-time employee, a college student at the finest institution in the city who helped around at the store and never caused any trouble. Lately, he seemed to be burdened by something and eventually stopped coming in to work. Nothing less, nothing more.'

Saya nodded agreeing with the information, trying to discern if there was something that sounded off in Yoshimura's testimony. Nothing. In fact, it was perfectly reasonable. And yet, why did it still bother her?

'Are they suspecting something?'

'What do you think Arima-san?'

She looked up at Yoshimura, guessing the answer beneath the condescending tone of the older man.

'Of course they are,' she whispered under her own breath, 'or else they would not have come here. They know this place is connected to ghouls and it won't be long until they understand in what ways.' And then, she will also be exposed and her relationship with Uta threatened. Saya's fingers curled on the bar top, instinctively gazing at Uta as he calmly sipped on his freshly brewed coffee and conversed with the ghoul called Nishiki. As always, there was no trace of worry on his face. At times, it seemed nothing could pull him out of his casual disposition, not even alarming moments such as the one they were currently experiencing. She felt frustrated dealing with that fact. Unlike him, she constantly worried about their relationship. She feared the consequences almost as much as she enjoyed their moments together. She treasured each moment and prayed it would last, at least until she would come up with a solution to safely justify their bond. But Uta...she shivered internally for the second time that day as she realized she did not know much about him despite their relation. What was going through his head was a complete mystery and even the information he chose to reveal to her sometimes seemed fabricated. She felt he loved her but how could you truly love someone without experiencing the fear of possibly losing them? Was he truly not worried?

'Arima-san. It's going to be alright,' Yoshimura reassured her, having seen the expression of deep anxiety she probably had creeping on her face. In addition, he placed a small plate of strawberry shortcake in front of her. From personal experience, Yoshimura remembered sweets would always make humans feel better.

She thanked him for the cake with an uneasy smile, not entirely convinced. After a moment of silence, she asked:

'And Kaneki? Is he still in touch with you?'

'He meets up regularly with Hinami-chan however, he does not seem intent on returning to Anteiku,' the store manager supplied, both him and Saya looking at Touka from the corner of their eyes.

On the surface, she did not appear to mind the topic yet the roughness with which she rubbed dry the glasses seemed to indicate the level of her insecurity. Whether Touka liked it or not, she and Saya shared the same fear when it came to their significant other though, while one lost, the other was yet to lose. As a result, Saya reasoned it was best to abandon the Kaneki subject for now instead of refreshing some wounds in Touka's heart. Unlike Saya, Uta did not forget he was supposed to be on a date and taking the tiny fork from her plate, he pressed it in the cake and picked out a piece with a strawberry on it. Saya watched how the fork came flying gently towards her mouth and in lack of better choice, she opened her mouth to munch on the bite.

'You were frowning,' he explained. 'No one should frown with such a pretty slice of cake in front of them.'

Saya sighed as she chewed on the crumbly texture, instantly feeling better. The majority of ghouls usually hated the sight of food but being an artist, Uta took the time to appreciate the craft of preparing food. She wished she could do the same and feed him cake but that was an impossible idea. Fortunately, that was compensated through his will to put an end to the gloomy atmosphere and instead, try to take advantage of their time spent together. She gave him a smile and gestured for him to continue feeding her the cake, which he complied to diligently.

When they finally prepared to leave, Saya rediscovered her initial sadness. That could be the last visit to Anteiku for all she knew. As matters were progressing, that place could be closed down any day now and she would lose the only public place she could go to and relax with Uta without having to worry about his identity being discovered. There would be no more thoughtful conversations with the manager nor any cheerful laughs from the staff, not even the more or less subtle bickering with Touka. In a way, that all ended with Kaneki's departure from the cafe store and it was in that moment that reality sunk in completely. Saya sent her goodbyes to everyone and as she bowed respectfully to the Manager for the last time, she realized how much a lowered head suited her right now. In the past months, she had spent more of her days with ghouls than with humans. But it was alright. No one hurt her but then again, she was sure no one could, especially with Uta at her side. With that conviction in mind, she exited Anteiku with Uta only to come face to face with someone she had never seen before. A well-built, white-haired man whose eyes peered into her own with piercing intensity.

'Yomo,' Uta greeted, and something in his tone made her understand Yomo was a ghoul as well. She did not like the way he was looking at her and neither did Uta probably since he grabbed her arm and took her to the nearest cab parked outside the store.

'I will call you later,' he told her, placing a quick kiss on her lips and gesturing to the cab driver to start the car. Slightly confused, Saya forgot to ask anything else and watched as Uta remained behind to talk to Yomo, not being able to discern anything else as the car drove away from them at full speed.

'Did you really think I would hurt her in plain sight?' Yomo asked when the car was no longer in the vicinity.

'I didn't want to give you any ideas.'

Yomo frowned at Uta, slightly disappointed to see his friend doubt him to that extent.

'You can stop worrying, I won't touch her.'

'You have every right to. After what Arima did to your sister, it's only divine justice, don't you think?' Uta questioned, opening up old wounds. Yomo's eyes remained downcast instead.

'Maybe. But just like my sister, that girl has no blame. She is no threat to me and I am no threat to her,' he assured, remembering that fateful day when Arima mercilessly killed his sister thus cutting off any other blood ties Yomo might have had with anyone else in the world. 'In fact,' he stressed, 'you're the real danger here. How do you think this is going to end? Do you think that girl is going to be passive for much longer?'

Uta smiled, simply shrugging his shoulders.

'Like you've said, she's no threat,' the pierced young man delivered as he walked past his friend, gently patting his shoulder. Yomo followed him with his gaze, turning to retort.

'Uta...if you love that girl, even if just a little, then let her go.'

Uta did not pause in his steps. His reply never came but his turned back gave Yomo all the answers he needed. He peered inside the cafe to see everyone gathered around the bar and took a few minutes to think before entering and greeting. He actually fantasized numerous of times getting back at Arma by killing his sister and when word spread that his friend was involved with her, he summoned herculean restraint to resist the temptation. His sister would not want that, she raised him better than that and he learned matters could be settled in a different manner. And now that he saw her, he understood he could not do it. She did not look like her brother but she reminded him of Arima. They were clearly siblings and one of them would kill the entire ghoul population with his bare hands if he ever found out the other was corrupted. Better said, when he would find out. But before that day came, they had other pressing matters. And until then, he hoped Arima-san would fall so much more in love with Uta that she would forgive him anything.

For all their sakes.

It was not out of the ordinary that investigator Mado Akira would remain in the office long after the meeting would end. She browsed through the plans of Kanou's impressive number of estates, trying to figure out where did the cunning doctor acquire the means for purchasing such expensive property. It so happened that this time, investigator Amon kept her company, himself engrossed in various thoughts. Finding Kanou was not the only priority, but also locating Kaneki Ken whose existence had been rendered crucial due to his friend's help, Nagachika. The theory, as absurd as it sounded, was that of a surgically altered human with ghoul organs, a reality that could either be shattered or sustained by the urgent apprehending of Kaneki Ken.

Amon sighed, grasping the cross pinned at his tie, thinking about the right way to approach this theory. If this turned out to be true, how would they even judge such an existence? Was Kaneki Ken going to be judged as a ghoul even though he was born and lived as a human for years? Could they actually blame someone for something they did not ask for and would have to withstand the consequences for the rest of their lives? That was difficult to digest. It would turn the world upside down and it would cause people to do crazy things, wouldn't it? As crazy as breaking into a relative's office and searching for top secret information, Amon thought to himself as he remembered the recent incident with Arima Saya. He was aware that both she and Kaneki Ken were attending the same university but to go as far as to say they were friends and Saya was looking for a way to help him was quite far-fetched. There could be millions of other reasons for Saya-san to be in her brother's office and yet, Amon could not get her eyes out of his head. They were guilty. And frightened.

'Well, for now this is the only lead we have,' Mado said as she threw the files on the desk, tired of examining them so closely. When she got not reply, she re-addressed Amon. 'Kanou might be hiding there after all, isn't that so, investigator Amon?'

'Yes,' Amon replied absent-minded. Upon seeing his reaction, Mado opted to stare at him curiously, leaning forward on the table and resting her chin on her hand. As expected, it did not take long for Amon to land back on earth.

'Mado-san,' Amon began, suddenly remembering she was there, 'if someone sees something they're not supposed to, should they tell?'

Mado blinked at the question, half-surprised to see her partner open up to her to that extent. Her first answer would have been that of offering a sharp, logical statement but she found herself sugar-coating her retort. It was not a good moment to dismiss Amon's trust.

'That depends,' she finally said.

'On what?' Amon asked, genuinely interested.

'On whether keeping silent causes more trouble than speaking up.'

He never thought about it from that point of view. As expected of Mado's daughter, she was one to extract the core of the matter and divide it precisely whereas he was still wavering about it. 'I see,' he retorted simply at which Mado exhaled in frustration.

'If it makes you so conflicted, you should most certainly tell.'

'Ah...I did not say it concerns me,' Amon hurried to add.

'Really now, who are you trying to fool?' Mado Akira challenged, her hands already reaching out to tidy the files on the table. She hated seeing things out of place despite being the one who caused the mess in the first place.

He smiled slightly, giving up on the pretense. 'But if I were to follow what you said Mado-san, I would betray a person,' Amon revealed, Saya's face popping up into his head with even more frightened eyes.

'And yet we betray people every day of our lives,' the young woman said and stood up. She placed the files in one of the drawers that were kept under fingerprint activated lock and added: 'We betray them when we tell them we're alright and we're really not, when we tell them the things they want to hear and even when we force ourselves to show them we care when we simply just care about our own well-being. I have no idea what this is all about, Amon-san but let me put this in simple terms. I believe it's far more tolerable to betray others than betray yourself.'

That was absolutely reasonable. That was the definition of an investigator right there. Personal matters would never have to intervene in making the right decision and nothing was more important than the greater good.

'I judge you as someone practical, Amon-san. So what will it be?' Mado questioned the older man, waiting for him in the doorway.

He also stood up, a new conviction gleaming from within his beeing. This was no context for misplaced kindness.

'It seems I need to speak with Arima Kishou-san.'

A/N: Aaaaaaand done! Whew, I thought I was never going to finish and publish this chapter but I've been scolding myself for not doing the things I like. And I like writing very much, it's probably the only thing that keeps me happy and healthy. Anyways, things are heating up, investigators are getting closer and Saya is gonna be in big danger, like you are all already guessing and probably wishing! Hehehe, I secretly wish for her to be punished too XD. Yes...is there anyone left here? Still? If I am getting reviews even after such a long time, I will most certainly reward all of your with a properly updated chapter that does not take forever to appear.

So please, if anyone is still there, let me know! I appreciate the love/criticism! ^_^ Take care and stay healthy everyone! On to the lovely reviewers!

lizy2000: Hello there, thank you for dropping a line! Here's a late review! And yes, her brother is capable of doing that, I see Saya in a lock down as well. Come back again ;)

EdenMae: Hello again, I'm glad to see you in my list as always! We're drawing closer and closer to drama but that makes me excited too! Uta and Saya have a really complicated relationship and as you can see in this chapter, Saya is losing sleep over it and also over Kaneki. It's shocking to see a colleague turn into this new, strange person that opens a door to possibilities. I do try to give Uta and Saya more time together but I also need to push forward the action so I'm sorry there are not as many as one would hope for. Hope to see you again, dear! 3

M: Greetings M! I did not get jumped by ghouls, I'm actually hoping they're reading this fanfiction over a hot cup of coffee as well and taking sides :)) Thank you for liking my chapter, I'm glad you picked up on Uta's clown affiliation, I plan on staying true to his character, Uta is no fun otherwise. You never know what his true intentions are and I am all for that in my fanfiction or else he does not feel like Uta. Thanks once more and may you stop by next time too!

Al'-chan24: It makes me happy to know people are still reading, it doesn't matter if it's manga, a novel or even fanfiction, it's just good that reading is still pretty much alive so you have a big thumbs up from me for finding the time to read even my humble fanfiction and also review. Thank you for saying Saya fits into the story, writing a relatable character is a spur of luck sometimes but fortunately, we have other characters to play with such as Uta and Kaneki and they are the ones that make this story. Let me know how you've been!^^

1234dorothy: Thank you, thank you! Here's another chapter and please tell me what you think. *wink

wlfchen: Hey there! I hope you still remember you account data, it would be a pity to lose such a faithful reviewer like you T.T Anyways, how are the kitties now? I bet they're all grown up and somehow making you remember Schnucki fondly. ^^ Saya is not a great spy, she's not made for this. To be in this line of work you need cold blood and a questionable conscience or else you can't make your lies believable so even if she does come up with a story...not many will believe her XD. I love making Suzuya toy with Saya, she's like playdough in his hands and I like seeing them interact because their backgrounds really show how different they are in relation with each other. But suspicion time is over, if you know what I mean XD. Take care and drop by this time as well!

SkyPumpkin: Hello! I feel the love, thank you for the review. Have some from my part as well! 33

Cyleana: Hello dear friend! Don't worry, I won't drop this, I can't leave things unfinished, this fic is at the back of my head all the time XD. And hopefully, you're still here and surviving your exams like a true hero! Not like Saya, her balls are for nothing, like you said, she has the certainty that her punishment can't be that big since she is Arima's sister but still, it was not an easy task, especially with Amon and Suzuya's addition to the scene. When I think about Uta and how everything is so secret about him...I just have this crazy idea that he's frickin' strong and we're all gonna be really shocked when we find out in the manga. He's way too laid back to be just a regular ghoul, I can feel it. And so do you, that's why you like him so much, my dear! Please stop by again and take care ;)

Hello: Aww, thank you! I hope you still check this from time to time, I won't drop it so you can find an update. I'm glad we're on the same page with the kakugan theory, that is too obvious not to spark debate and ghouls who have it activated like that are certainly 'special', Yoshimura included. But from all of them, I still think Uta takes the cake! Let me know your thoughts about this chapter again. Stay safe and healthy!^^

VictoriaPie: Banzai! It's finally getting dramatic, huh? XD I think everyone loves Suzuya, he's a character that takes risks without carring too much and is just unpredictable, just like Uta which is why it's perfectly normal for Saya to change after interacting with them. Thanks for noticing that part with Uta and pointing out his reasoning, I went for that intentionally. Thank you for the review and your warm thoughts, hope I'll be able to feed your Tokyo Ghoul addiction for a bit longer. *wink-wink

Guest: Hello there! Thank you for passing by and leaving your input, much appreciated. Well, sometimes you have to coordinate a story and think of everything from all points of view. Your opinion on Itori is spot-on, she is exactly that kind of person. Maybe Itori would be yelled at and Kaneki beaten as you say but Yoshimura was there and he is one of the most level-headed persons in the anime. It wouldn't have been in his best interests to agitate spirits when Arima's sister was there and also, it's Uta who brought Saya in the equation, not Kaneki and I don't think anyone dares to pick on Uta XD. As for Suzuya, oh yes, he certainly can smell ghouls but he's too much of a weirdo to act accordingly so I see him as someone who likes to watch as people take the fall, if you get what I'm saying. He's not the only one who knows Saya has been hanging out with ghouls, for now, he's waiting for someone else's reaction. So stay tuned! ;)

Hikiri: I am so happy to see you still around and I hope I'll continue to be lucky in this regard XD. I remember reading your review almost two months ago and thinking that this was such a great review. I read it again today and indeed, it is one of the best reviews out there and I don't even know if my story is up for such an in-depth analysis from your part. Thank you for really understanding the characters and transferring your knowledge you have of them from the anime/manga into this story. I thoroughly enjoyed writing that part with Uta and Souta; like you said, I see them having that connection and challenging each other, one directly, the other more passive-aggressively. As for the eye theory, it makes sense to me even now and I believe the moment when the truth about Uta will be revealed, it will be legendary so in a way, I'm trying to match up to that greatness XD.

Many thanks for understanding the character that Saya is. Quite some characters and reviewers misunderstand her or would want her to react differently but since she is a product of the Arimas, it proves a bit difficult to leave behind the shackles and charge into happiness like a fool. She is selfih, I'm glad you saw that and understood the reasons for it. She is not as noble as one would think because she can't say she's doing what she's doing for humanity but rather for her own benefit so in a way, betraying her family would be the last drop. It is a tragedy and even though I know perfectly well how this is going to end, I'm going to allow Saya to be swept away. Thank you and may we talk again, old friend.

Anarima: Hello and welcome to this story! Thank you so much for your kind words and for your patience, I promise to update and not leave this story unfinished or it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life! XD It doesn't matter if you read this later, everyone is welcome and I care about my reviewers equally. The best part about this story is that I get to discuss it with great readers and debate our favorite characters like there's no tomorrow^^. You have my love as well and I'll be waiting for another share. Take care! ;)

sherlaylay: Thank God! I'm grateful to know you're still loving it and even trying to keep the spark by re-reading the other chapters. I hope you're still around sher, I miss reading you smack my characters across the face when they do something wrong XD. Lots of love! 33

Guest 2 (?): Yes, excitement is in the air! When I started writing again, I remembered how enthusiastic I was about the chapters that are to follow XD. You're right, Uta and Saya's relationship has to be exposed, it can't stay hidden anymore and it's not going to be pretty but it has to happen sooner or later. I get giddy just when thinking about it! But this will have its good parts as well, the action will move forward, intentions will be proven clear and people will discover what really matters to them. See you next time? ;)