Guest - Now to rescue the soldiers for a redjuffle. What uf one cant cos the other was a suicude? a wiman stuck in a man body? a new team member that sticks to ianto? jCk a bit jelous at first?

FranArian - Gotta love it when the pompous wankers get what's coming to them. Can't wait to see how things go once the artefact and the victims are in Torchwood hands.

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14

So, it took a while for UNIT to give up their prizes and it was without fanfare that they were delivered to the Plass and dumped there in the foggy morning air.

"Hello" Ianto said as kindly as he could, watching them all look around as if expecting more and he knew before Orin whispered it in the back of his mind. No one had told them there had been deaths. Ianto led them to the meeting room and let them settle, withdrawing to tell Jack who had been watching from his office. He had hoped having Ianto as first contact might help ease them, his own reputation might be a bit daunting. He stared at Ianto with disbelief as Ianto whispered it to him.

"What do you mean they don't know" Jack replied, "You mean….ah shit. We have vessels and souls that don't match?"

"I have a horrible feeling so" Ianto nodded as he watched his Captain pace. "I have to tell them, Owen should be on standby in case of hysteria. I feel there is at least one in there who seeks their body and can't see it."

They told Owen expecting his usual outrage and instead there was only sorrow, "Poor bastards. Shit, the wankers have had them in dark cages."

Ianto entered the room and chose a seat, followed by Tosh and Owen. The arrival of Jack made them all leap to their feet and Ianto waved for them to sit back down as Jack slid in to sit beside Ianto.

"There has been further injustice at the hands of your Commanding Officer" Ianto said calmly, "I believe you are unaware of the reason for the absence of some of your colleagues?"

"Yeah" a brassy woman said, her voice unusually deep, "I'm Lieutenant Daniel Monroe. Where the hell is Clifton!"

"Clifton" Owen said, touching the screen on the wall and an image appeared of one of the suicides, his face serene. "Harris and Merril."

Images of another man and a woman appeared n screen and a man towards the back made a strangle noise as he grasped at his throat with horror.

"Shit. Merril" the woman turned to the man, "I am so sorry Nancy."

"Bastard" he snarled stumbling to a chair, "So. What happened, he…just…killed me?"

"Nancy? Nancy Mereil" Orin said with a soft cant of his head, "The man who had your body couldn't handle the jibes and taunts of the others and took his life. Your vessel was…damaged."

"Where did your accent go?" the lieutenant leaned forward.

"I am Orin. Ianto's Pilot" he answered, "Ianto is my host. We live in this vessel together. We…coexist."

"Shit" the lieutenant sat heavily, his tits wobbling and he growled , "Fuck Annie, I don't know how you control these bloody air bags."

"What will I do?" Nancy asked as he sat as well, "I…I have no body to go back to."

"OK" Orin said calmly, "We have choices. This is not the end. Look, the vessel that your soul belongs to is gone but there is now a vessel now with no driver. You can take that."

"No"

"Pardon?"

"I hate redheads. Why the hell would I want to be one."

"I'll swap with you!" one leaned forward, "I hate being the youngest, looking like a bloody kid all the time. Swap. I like his body, all abs and tan. I always envied that body. I will give you my one, it is only twenty years old."

Nancy looked at him silently as Orin and Ianto agreed it was a good swap, Nancy had been in her early fifties, old by any standard and if not or her above average IQ and scientific degree she would not have made the team in the first place. A chance at a second go around?

"Deal!"

"So, we can't call you Nancy if you are changing to a male" Ianto's vowels startled them again then there was nervous laughter.

"No." there was silence, "I don't like Meril either."

"Nigel? Like Nance? Or Clancy?"

"Corny."

"Drew?" Ianto asked, "Nancy Drew? Still you?"

"Oh! I like it!" he smiled with relief, "Yes. Drew. Yes. I was called Nancy Drew at high school by my friends."

"Good, settled!" Jack slapped the artefact on the table, "Now…get to it and start swapping, once you have your own body step back."

Orin warned Ianto to step well back, as did the others and they watched the lightening bolts strike each person and cursing, more strikes, then a man staggered back with a look of relief followed by the large breasted Annie.

Three more and they all stepped back, Drew looking at his new hands with wonder.

"Right, you've been like this for a few weeks right?" Owen barked, "So you all want a good shit, feed and sleep in your own bodies again. Sorry Drew, I mean the rest of you will want to check yourselves for damage. No suing each other, ok?"

"Drew, perhaps you would like some time to acquaint yourself with your new vessel" Orin said kindly, "I find a shower to explore, then food to see the taste buds and their preferences is best. We can work everything else out as we go."

"I…I don't' know what to say" Drew said with open sorrow, "This is such a mess."

"Well, at least you aren't' the redhead, right?" Owen pointed out and finally Drew smiled.

"Yes Doctor Harper, there is that"

Ianto and Orin had a conversation that had Ianto eye rolling as Jack watched and waited, then Ianto addressed him.

"We can't give her back. They will not accept her and will examine her then play with her" Ianto said then frowned, "I apologise Drew, do you wish to be referred to as 'he' or 'she' that was rude to assume."

"I guess…I guess I'm a he now" Drew shrugged, "At least I feel more like a man with the weight in my pants. Shit, how do you contain these swinging things?"

"You were already in a male body" Ianto whispered and Drew rolled his eyes now.

"Like…pinkie. Ya know? Like…pimple." He screwed his nose up, "I had trouble learning to pee with it. Was best to sit down still."

Ianto looked at him and then threw his head back, roaring with laughter as everyone stopped talking to turn and look at them.

Jack looked at Owen and nodded, Owen huffing as he pulled out a file.

If he was about to add this woman…man into Torchwood's systems as a guest he better find out if the qualifications fit their team.

At least he knew one thing for sure.

He sure liked Ianto.

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I was starting to think you had lost interest; yes I like the idea of one staying. Fresh blood.

What now? The jealousy in Jack? Or Ianto being kind helping Drew adjust to his new body?

Also, I do think they should be retconed before being given back so UNIT have nothing on them and don't find out about Orin. As Drew is staying to be a guest or team member fi we decide that, we let him keep his memories?