The Adventures of Henry Bemis
Or The Whale
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
Chapter 14. Henry Bemis Layeth the Smackdown Upon Ye
Before Henry could react, two of the penguins, Club and Boulder, jumped on him. Both of them began to hammer at Henry Bemis' head with their hockey sticks. Meanwhile, the other penguins swarmed Bigfoot.
"These penguins have been trying to kill me since I visited The Frozen Place!" Mr. Bemis yelled as he threw Club off of him. He picked up the penguin's hockey stick and began to duel with Boulder.
"Really? I wouldn't have guessed that!" Bigfoot raised his, uh, big foot and began to stomp on the leader, Pepe. He picked up Nail and threw him onto Club.
Henry Bemis was still hockey stick-dueling with Boulder. The two wooden sticks clashed and banged against each other, sending sparks flying. Henry parried a stab from Boulder and then thrust forward with his own hockey stick.
A couple feet away from him, Bigfoot was throwing around the penguins like rag dolls. He grabbed Nail, who had gotten up after being thrown on top of Club, and started squeezing the poor penguin until it exploded! Yes, bits of Nail went everywhere. The score was Henry Bemis: 6, Penguins: 1 and now Bigfoot: 1. Seconds later, Bigfoot did the same thing with Grenade, squeezing him until he popped. Bigfoot: 2.
"Help!" Henry Bemis had been knocked to the ground, and now Club and Boulder were beating on him with their hockey sticks.
But something went terribly wrong.
Seconds later there was a loud, screeching noise and the swarm of Batsquatches flew into the scene! They began to gnaw at the penguins. Mr. Bemis, Club and Boulder were surrounded by a group of the big bats, and by the time they cleared, all that was left of Club and Boulder was a pile of bones and two hockey sticks. Henry Bemis: 6, Penguins: 1, Bigfoot: 2, Bats: 2. Then Bigfoot stepped on Pepe and there was a crunching sound. When he stepped off of the gang leader, all that was left were some broken bones and a bit of blood and mangled penguin flesh. Bigfoot: 3.
"Wow, those Batsquatches helped!" Henry shouted as he dual-wielded hockey sticks that he had picked up from the corpses of Boulder and Club. He began to viciously swipe and stab at Uzi while Bigfoot juggled Shotgun, Sledgehammer and Cannon in the air.
"These penguins aren't that tough once they're almost all dead." Bigfoot remarked as he threw Sledgehammer into a tree. The little penguin fell to the ground and didn't move. Bigfoot: 4.
Elsweyr (sic), Henry Bemis managed to get the better of Uzi. After a minute of vicious fighting, Henry Bemis defeated the penguin by doing the unthinkable.
That's all I have to say about that. Now, as it all drew to a close, the score was Henry Bemis: 7, Bigfoot: 4, Penguins: 1, Bats: 4. Then the Batsquatches flew in again and picked up Shotgun and Cannon. They flew away, carrying the two remaining penguins with them. Now it was Bats: 4.
Out of nowhere, some voice began to talk. "Let's check the final score. In last place are the penguins, all of whom are dead or captured by bats! They only have one point! Tied for second place are Bigfoot and the Batsquatches! Both teams have four points! Finally, in first place, is Henry Bemis with an amazing seven points! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for Mr. Bemis to receive his prize. Tell me, Mr. Bemis, do you want what's behind door number one or door number two?" Two doors appeared out of thin air.
"Uh…one." Henry and Bigfoot watched as the door swung open to reveal. "A toaster?" Henry asked. "What kind of prize is that? A toaster?"
What? Henry Bemis, of course…and a toaster! Whatev. Just read it in…
Chapter 15. Henry Bemis and the Teleporting Toaster