A/N: Umm… hey there. Anyone remember me or this story? I definitely understand if you don't—it's been almost seven months since I last updated. Trust me, I have plenty of reasonable excuses, but we'd be here all day if I mentioned them all. (Most of them, though, fall under the categories of "Real Life Got in the Way" and "All My Inspiration Transferred Over to A Completely Different Story")
Anyways, a mild case "Songs Like This"-itis hit me recently, and I resumed work on Chapter 14. I still don't have my full inspiration back after such a long time away from anything NCIS-related, but I hope this chapter will at least entertain you.
The parody for this chapter actually goes back to a time before "Songs Like This" was even on this website—I thought of the first few lines before I even decided to create a story of parodies. There are also a few other throwbacks in this chapter, mainly dealing with Chapter 5 ("Crime-Solving Writer"). Those of you who've been reading for a while now have a pretty good idea what I'm talking about…
Thanks so much for all the reviews (which I sincerely apologize for not replying to last time—Chapter 13 was published right before life got really hectic)/alerts/favorites and sticking with me through this crazy update schedule. I truly appreciate it.
That being said, here we go!
Original Song: "Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee" from the musical Grease
Look at Me, I'm Tim McGee
"It's been a while since anything Deep Six-related was published."
"I know. That's why I'm going to type up this story as soon as I get home and post it right away."
Ivy's shoulders slumped and she narrowed her eyes in annoyance at her friend. Carina was lost in her own little world, vigorously bobbing her head back and forth to some song inside her head as she scribbled on a pad of paper.
"I'm not talking about your fanfiction," the redhead hissed, lightly smacking the aspiring writer upside the head (since they were talking about Deep Six, Ivy thought it was fitting to knock some sense into her friend L.J. Tibbs-style). "I'm talking about the series itself. The last book Thom published was Rock Hollow. You've probably memorized the entire book by now—that's how long it's been."
"Actually, I just memorized the dialogue. And all of the Tisa and McAmy scenes. Not the entire book."
"Whatever!" Ivy threw her hands in the air. "All I'm trying to say is it's been too long since the last story, and I want to know why!"
Carina actually looked up from her writing, peering over her glasses to shoot Ivy a serious look. "Gemcity has a bunch of other things to do besides write. He's a federal agent, remember?" Content, she turned back to her paper and sang softly, "He really is a crime-solving writer—crime-solving writer!"
A growl reverberated in the temperamental redhead's throat, and she pounded her fists on the table as she stood up. "Fine. Enjoy writing your little Deep Six knockoff. I'll be asking my future husband why it's taking so long to publish the real thing." At that, she slid out from behind the table and stalked off.
There was a slight pause once Ivy went to search for her prey, but soon Carina murmured excitedly, "Ooh, plot twist! McGregor unexpectedly acquires a flirtatious fan, throwing a wrench into his budding relationship with Amy…"
. . .
"Wuh-oh… head's up, McGee—something fangirl this way comes."
At Tony's warning, the computer nerd looked up, only to hastily duck his head and pray that the crazy-eyed woman didn't see him. Sadly, Ivy's "Gemcity radar" immediately went off when McGee looked her direction, and she made a beeline for Team Gibbs's table.
"Thom," she purred, sidling up next to him (despite Abby's dagger-like glare) and placing her elbows on the table. "Hey. My friend Carina and I were just wondering when the next Deep Six book would be coming out."
Any words that were in McGee's mouth promptly choked off, for Gibbs roughly set down his bourbon and boomed, "You were going to write another one?"
"Ah, well," McGee managed to sputter, "I've been a little busy, and it's been a while since I've given much thought to that series." He then said loudly, "I never really had any plans to continue." He stared at Gibbs out of the corner of his eye, relaxing when his boss nodded slowly and took another sip of his drink.
"Oh?" Ivy asked, feigning surprise to hide her disappointment. However, she quickly dealt with that by revving up her flirting. "See, that's exactly what I told Carina. I told her, 'No, Thom's too busy being a federal agent and solving crimes to write another book. Plus, he has other hobbies—collecting classic cars, maybe, or perhaps skydiving.' Ooh, Thom, do you like skydiving?"
Throughout the whole exchange, Tony had been sitting back quietly, struggling to hold in his guffaws. Before his eyes could start watering any more than they already were, he carefully unclamped his jaw and raised his hand. "If I may interrupt," he started, failing to force back a laugh, "but I believe I need to provide a few facts to fill in the gaps in your Gemcitypedia." He let out another snicker before he continued, "First off: this," (he grabbed McGee's shoulders and gently shook him) "is Tim McGee. Thom E. Gemcity is a penname, an anagram. Scramble up all the letters and you get Timothy Freakin' McGee."
"Well, I can understand how you get 'Timothy McGee' from 'Thom E. Gemcity', but I'm still confused on how you can get 'Timothy Freakin' McGee'," Carina, who finally wandered over to the NCIS team's table, murmured airily. "That's a strange middle name, by the way."
(There was a loud chorus of smacks as hands rushed to meet foreheads.)
"But… but…" Ivy stammered, her hand sliding off her forehead as she comprehended Tony's revelation.
The movie buff cut her off. "Second of all… oh, wow, where do I start? Classic cars… skydiving?" He burst into another raucous laughing fit. "You obviously know nothing about our Timmy here. I can change that." At that, he leapt out of his seat and shot towards the stage. After rifling through the collection of CDs, he selected one and handed it to TJ in exchange for the microphone before taking his place on the stage.
A peppy little tune sounded through the speakers, and Tony widened his eyes comically as he started:
Look at me, I'm Tim McGee
Or, sometimes, Thom Gemcity
He grabbed Carina's copy of Rock Hollow and glanced nervously at all the women in the room before adding:
Won't date some chicks 'til I'm done with Deep Six
I can't! I'm Tim McGee…
The song's subject narrowed his eyes and took a swipe at his joking coworker, who cried:
Watch it!
And those McNicknames…
Just another claim to fame
I'm never bored
When they call me Elf Lord
I love computer ga-a-a-ames!
I'm a geek (oh!)
A nerd (oh!)
McGee butted in, pointing a finger at Tony and growling maliciously:
Say on more word…
Tony jumped on top of a barstool and clung to it for dear life as he whimpered:
I get ill when I'm up really high (aaaahhh!)
Sliding down from his perch, he crossed his arms and tried to imitate McGee as he said:
"Tony, I know that you poured
Glue on my keyboard."
"It's called fiction! Must I clarify?"
Tony strolled over to the resident Goth scientist as he crooned:
As for me, I love Abby
I know that I'm her Timmy
She makes me blush and I turn into mush
'Cause I'm plain Tim McGee
Looking from Ivy to Carina, he promptly jumped back and started flailing his arms hysterically, shrieking:
Fangirls! Fangirls! Let me be!
I must go hurl peacefully!
McGee finally had enough of Tony's playful mockery. Standing up and marching over to his unruly friend, he gritted his teeth and sang:
Keep up this shtick, and it's you who'll get sick...
Tony's eyes went wide at the geek's sudden confidence and admitted defeat.
Plastering a smug smile on his face, McGee grabbed the microphone and admitted proudly to his flabbergasted fangirls:
Yes, that's right
I'm Tim McGee
The music continued for a few seconds longer, slowly fading out. But there was one woman who didn't notice the lack of music as she stared straight ahead, eyes bugged out and mouth gaping.
"But… but… wha'?" Ivy stammered incoherently as she gradually regained control of her jaw. "You… your name really isn't Thom E. Gemcity?"
"I think that was established before this song even started," Carina reminded her friend, before singing, "He's Tim Freaking McGee…"
The subject of the fangirls' conversation shrugged. "It's just like Tony said. He just could have explained it in a more polite way." He shot an evil glare at his juvenile coworker before holding out his hand to the girls in introduction. "Timothy McGee, NCIS Special Agent, part-time writer, and computer whiz. Call me Tim."
Ivy stared at his hand like it had an extra finger. Carina, on the other hand, shook it eagerly, chirping, "Nice to officially meet you, Tim! So, you have a fear of heights, too? I get woozy even thinking about being in a plane…"
The horrified bug-eyed look returned as Ivy stared at her friend and her (former) famous crush chatting casually, a sight she was certain was a hallucination. Unfortunately, it wasn't. Moving as discreetly as she could, Ivy bolted out of her chair and slunk off.
Her hasty departure did not go unnoticed. As she carried on her conversation with McGee, Carina thought gleefully to herself, Success! The threat of the unwanted love interest no longer plagues the McAmy relationship! Ooh, this is going to make such a great fanfic…!
A/N 2: And this concludes Chapter 14. I'm truly sorry for the long wait.
I already have Chapter 15 in progress, but I'm still trying to work on getting my full inspiration back. I can't give an ETA on that chapter yet, but I can share some good news: like I said last chapter, I'm planning to wrap up this story soon. In my original plan, Chapter 15 was going to be the last parody chapter, and then there would be an epilogue. That's changed slightly: Chapter 15 will still be the last official parody chapter, but Chapter 16 will be a giant medley. There were a bunch of parodies that I desperately wanted to write, but I couldn't get past the first few lines or so. With this medley chapter, you'll be able to see those parody clips. Because of this addition, the epilogue will be Chapter 17.
So, this story will go on for a little while longer. Hopefully everything will be wrapped up before the second anniversary of the original publishing date (since I missed the first anniversary…).
Let me know what you think!
Until next time,
AQotL