A/N: Super sorry that it has taken me ages to upload this chapter. Of course school pretty much consumes most of my time, but I'm on break of course, and I have decided to finally write it and edit it and publish it. Thanks again for reading this and waiting for the next chapter. I know it's probably annoying waiting forever, but here it is! I hope you enjoy it and feedback is always welcome! Thanks!

Chapter 14

When the plane crossed over the border separating Pennsylvania from New York, I knew it was only a matter of minutes that I would be arriving.

"We are beginning our descend. Please fasten your seat belt and turn off all electronics," the pilot announced over the speakers above me.

I did what he asked and looked out the window. The skyscrapers looked so small from up here. New York City actually looked small and that was something I couldn't believe. New York was always this enormous city, but then I realized it's not all that big.

We finally landed and I turned my phone on to text Megan that I had just arrived.

For some reason, I felt like I was in a dream. My senses weren't clicking to reality just yet. It felt like I was still living in a fantasy where everything was perfect, but as I stepped off the plane and into the airport I had been to a million times, that dream and fantasy world was hard to cling onto.

I recognized the small bookstore I passed all the time when getting off a flight. The airport was too familiar to still be in a dream. And then I saw Megan waiting for me with a huge smile on her face.

"Tati!" She began running over to me and pushed aside anybody that stood in between us. I laughed at her craziness.

And then my eyes got an image of James doing the exact same thing only a matter of hours ago. I shut my eyes and shook my head to get the image out of my head.

When I opened my eyes, Megan was a few feet away and I smiled wide at her as she pulled me in for a warm embrace.

"Hey!" I said hugging her back, slowly losing air due to her tight grip.

It's good to know people actually missed me while I was gone.

"How was Cali?" Megan asked.

"It was a ton of fun. There's so much to do over there." I explained.

I still had to pick up my luggage, so I walked over to the luggage conveyer and retreaded my bags.

"What'd you do?" Megan asked.

"I went to the beach, did some shopping, sightseeing, you know stuff like that."

"Did you experience any Cali parties," she said with a devious tone in her voice.

I laughed as I grabbed my bag coming around. And then I remembered, I did experience a "Cali party" as Megan says. It was James' birthday party.

"Actually I did. It was—" I couldn't say his name with out remembering everything that happened between James and I. But one way or the other, I had to be strong for my own self. "Uh… James' party, and I also did some sight seeing and stuff."

"Sounds like you had fun," Megan mentioned helping me pull my suitcase off the luggage conveyer.

"Yeah, it was fun." Was it really fun? Maybe it would've been if James and I didn't screw up.

We walked out of the airport and I quickly took my sweatshirt off.

It had to have been at least 95 degrees outside and it was extremely humid. It was unbearable.

We began walking to the car with my luggage in one hand and my backpack slung over my shoulder.

I put my stuff in the trunk and got in the car.

"Something tells me you didn't want to come back. What's up?" Megan asked.

I hated how she could always tell if something was wrong with me.

"No, nothing. I'm just really tired." I lied.

"Come on, I know that's not it."

I sighed and looked at her for a while before I decided to tell her what had happened.

"Remember when I told you I was dating James? I'm not anymore because we ended things."

"You did?"

I nodded.

"Why'd you break up?" she asked.

"He broke up with me actually and it was because he saw me—" I paused not knowing what they would think if I had told them about Daniel. But she gazed at me.

"He saw me kissing Daniel."

"What the hell?" Megan yelled.

I nodded. "When we got home, he left somewhere, so I went upstairs to his room thinking of how I would explain things to him. He came home later that night drunk and started yelling at me and things sort of ended after that night."

"So what took you long to come back?"

"I guess I was just waiting for us to go back to each other. I was hoping he'd come back and say sorry or something, but the longer I stayed, I realized I was hurting myself. Besides, we were doing that either way last night."

"Last night?" she asked confused.

"It had been a week since we last saw each other and last night we had a dinner with everyone. And then we were still hating on each other and saying all of this stuff and it was a mess."

"I swear I'm going to talk to Daniel and set him straight," Megan gripped the driving wheel tighter and kept driving.

"No, it's done." I said.

"But he ruined your relationship," she countered.

"Hasn't he always?" I questioned.

"Tati—"

"Megan," I interrupted. "No, it's over. It's my fault things end too."

She looked out in front and drove to my house. We didn't say anything else. I didn't want to either way.

When we got to my house, she helped me bring my bags in and settle in.

"Thanks," I said giving her a hug.

"Okay I'm going to go, you sure you don't want to come to the movies?"

I nodded and forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm just really tired from the flight."

"Alright, well rest up, and if you change your mind, call me."

"Okay, thanks." I smiled.

She walked outside and got in her car.

I walked towards the couches in the living room and was welcomed with peace and quiet. I turned on my phone and kept it on my lap while I stared into the distance remembering everything about California.

Suddenly my phone vibrated and it was a text.

I checked to see who it was and it was from James. My heart skipped a beat and my hands were shaking as I held the phone in my hand. His text read, "I'm sorry."

And that's when I wanted to lock myself in my room and pour my eyes out.

Somewhere we went wrong. That was our final goodbye until God knows when.

I had to be strong for myself. I had to be strong and not let the memories of James keep me down.

I needed to be strong for my own being.

I needed to do this for me.

So I cried.

Sometimes you're so strong for so long you eventually have to let it all out at some point.

And here I was crying on my couch grabbing a pillow and burying my face in it, letting out everything that I had done so well before to keep in.

I didn't know it would hurt so much.

I didn't know we would hurt each other like this.

I didn't know we'd end up like this.

I didn't know a lot of things.

I just didn't know.

James Point of View

~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~

Why did it have to end like this? Why had I been so stupid? If anything, we were supposed to stay best friends forever, but I ruined even that. It'll never be the same.

Maybe things would've been different if I hadn't had flirted with her in the first place.

Maybe things would be different if I didn't fall in love with her more.

Maybe she would still be here and we would be together after being apart for so long.

But she's not. She's gone. And I don't even know when we'll ever see each other again.

Hopefully everything will fade—our feelings, our love—whether I want it to or not.

Things are over and done.

I have to move on. I have to forget about everything. I have to give her the space and time she wants.

It's not easy to see someone you have loved nearly your entire life just walk away on you. It's hard to say goodbye when it's the last thing you've ever wanted.

I didn't want it to end like this. But I did it to us. So now I pay the consequences.

I reached my parents house and went inside. I heard people talking and moving in the kitchen, but I didn't bother to say hello. So I went upstairs.

I would've gone to my room, but my feet took me to Tati's room. I stood leaning on the doorframe staring into the vacant room. It looked perfect as if no one had ever been there. But the scent was different. I caught a whiff of her cherry blossom scent and walked in her room.

I sat on her bed fingering the smooth quality of the bed sheet and began to remember the very first time we were both in this room.

She had just arrived to LA and I had gone to pick her up. I showed her this room and she was more than thrilled that the walls were painted aqua, her favorite color. And after I came back from work, I fixed her hair and for once we had a moment just us together. The way she looked up at me and smiled. The way her hair felt like silk on my hands. Everything about her made me fall more in love.

But it's all over now.

Just like snow disappears when spring arrives, she was gone, leaving everything behind. Leaving everything just a memory.

I picked myself up from her bed and went to my room. I grabbed the jacket I had left on the bed and walked downstairs. I was ready to leave. My keys were in my pocket all I had to do was open the front door and leave the house, but I couldn't. Not yet. Not until I talk to someone about how I felt. But who? No one would understand. And then I made the decision that I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to see anyone. I wanted to be by myself. I wanted to sleep and never wake up until all this misery is over.

I walked to the kitchen realizing I was a bit thirsty. My mom was in there alone, but then again she wasn't. There was another cup of coffee on the table.

"Hey honey," she said.

"Hey mom." I glanced over at her slightly and continued to the fridge.

I grabbed the orange juice and a glass and filled it up. I drank it in one gulp and stared at the countertop for a while.

I have to go. I have to leave. I have to distract my mind and focus on something else. Nothing I do will bring her back. Nothing I say will bring her back. She's gone and never coming back.

"Hey!" Tati's mom said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I smiled slightly and said hello.

But the way she looked at me told me that she knew something was wrong. And she knew what that something was. Perhaps it was my voice that gave it all away. But either way, I wasn't in the mood to converse with people.

I passed by her and left the house. I couldn't stay there. I had to move on. That house speaks her presence. I had to go back to my house and clear my mind and forget.

As I drove back to my house, I realized all I can do now is wait. Wait for whatever comes in the future.

I might have multiple job opportunities.

I might be acting in big movies.

I might fall in love with someone else.

I might make new friends.

The possibilities are endless, but they start once I leave everything in the past and move on.

Tati's Point of View

~~~~~~~~O~~~~~~~~

I woke up the next day on the couch. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep last night after trying to watch a movie.

I tried getting myself up but found my neck to be aching immensely. I must have slept in a weird position for my neck to be hurting this much. Even my phone was underneath me. I could feel it pressed against my back causing me more discomfort.

I reached underneath me and grabbed it.

There were multiple calls and texts all from my mom. She asked if I had gotten home safely, but I probably either ignored the text or fell asleep before I could even see that she called or texted.

I sat up despite the pain in my neck and lower back and called my mom.

"Hello?" A soft voice spoke through my phone. It was my mother's sweet caressing voice.

"Hey mom."

"Tatiana, what happened? I called and texted you and you didn't reply."

"My phone was on silent and it was on the table. I'm sorry. But I'm home. I kind of just put on a movie last night and fell asleep."

"Well I'm glad you're home safe. Was the flight back home good?"

I sighed. I didn't want to remember the feelings I had felt when I was on the plane back home. I didn't want to be reminded of the enduring pain.

"Yeah, it was good," I lied, "Mostly slept through it." Not a lie because I did sleep through the flight. I was tired and I wanted to forget everything that happened.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

Honestly, I felt like crap. There was this eerie hole in my chest that kept bothering me. It made me feel gloomy and depressed.

And I knew the only way to feel better was to be with him—not now, I told myself with a shake of my head.

I can't continue to keep thinking about him. I can't afford it. It'll only cause me more harm and pain. It'll only make me sadder.

"I'm good," I replied. The most common way everyone replies when being asked how they are. It's only to avoid any further questions. If you were to say I'm okay, they would ask why, and then you'd have to explain it to them. But I didn't want to put myself through that. So I went with the typical "I'm good" answer.

"Tati," my mom began. I knew she could tell something was wrong. She was always good at that. It can be a good thing and bad thing at the same time.

"I know you're not good," she said.

"No mom, I'm good." I reestablished.

"No you're not. Don't lie to me."

"Mom." I said in a tone that didn't want to discuss this subject any further.

"Call him."

"Call who?" I asked rising my voice. I knew whom. I just didn't want to say it.

"You know who I'm talking about. It'll do you both good. It'll get you the closure you need."

Closure.

That's exactly what I needed. And I knew she was right.

I knew if I heard his voice through my ears it would put me at ease. I knew if we were to just have a nice conversation as friends, I would be relieved from this barren hole in my chest.

"Fine," I mumbled through the phone.

"So when we're done, you're going to call him."

"I will."

"Okay." She reassured. "Have you unpacked?"

"No. I got home and crashed."

"I guess you were tired."

"A little bit."

We both laughed softly, before I heard other voices through the phone. It was James' mom. I could barely hear what they were saying because their voices were muffled.

"Hey sweetheart, I have to get ready to leave to the spa soon. I'll talk to you later." My mom said.

"Yeah okay, sounds great."

"Alright, Cathy says hi."

"Tell her I said hey," I smiled. Cathy was probably the best woman ever. She is in fact the best second mom ever.

"Alright, bye honey."

"Bye." I said before she hung up.

I leaned back on the soft pillows of the couch and stared blankly at the TV until a Nintendo commercial came on.

I heard familiar voices on the TV. I focused in on what was being shown and found the four guys on TV doing a commercial for Nintendo All I could do was keep my eyes on James and smile a little bit because I was proud of the multiple things he has accomplished. They all looked genuinely happy playing with each other. It made me miss all four of them.

I picked up my phone and called James while turning off the TV. It rang a few times until I heard something.

"Hey it's James. Leave me a message, thanks."

And then the female operator was talking and all my hopes of being able to hear his voice went down the drain. I ended the call and set it on the table in front of me.

Maybe he wasn't awake. Maybe he was still sleeping. Maybe he doesn't have his phone with him. Maybe he's working.

Or.

Maybe he doesn't want to talk. Maybe he saw my name on caller ID and refused to talk to me.

I exhaled and forced my brain to stop thinking these hypothetical situations.

Soon enough though, I saw the screen of my phone light up through the corner of my eyes. I reached for it and saw it was James calling me.

My stomach swarmed with butterflies, my heart was beating ten times faster, and my fingers were shaking as I pressed the green button to talk to him.

I held the phone up against my ear and for a few seconds I didn't say anything. I was too scared. My lips trembled, before I said, "Hey."

I could hear him breathing on the other end softly.

"Hey," his voice was low and raspy as if he had just woken up.

"How are you?" I asked.

"I'm good. Just waking up from a call I received a few minutes ago.

I was right. I laughed softly, "Sorry."

"No, it's fine. I should be up anyways. I have a ton to do."

"Well you're welcome then." I said.

"How was the flight?" He asked.

"It was good I guess. I slept through most of it though."

"Oh that's good." He answered.

"Um, I just saw you on TV actually," I laughed. "It was the Nintendo commercial."

"Oh, yeah. That was fun to shoot with the guys. My hair was crazy at the end," he laughed.

It was comforting to hear him laugh. It made me feel relieved in a way because I knew he wasn't upset. He was doing well.

"Yeah I saw." I said laughing.

There was a long pause on the phone. Could it be that we have to the point where we don't know what to say to each other anymore? So many things to talk about, yet no topic or idea came to me.

"I have to go. I'm going to be late. I'll talk to you later," he finally said, which was just as well because I didn't know what to say.

"Okay, yeah, that's fine."

"Okay bye," were his last final words before we both ended the call.

That was the last time I ever heard him.

He never called back.

He never texted.

He never said one single thing to me ever again.

And it's almost been two years and a half.