Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

XIV.

- Vicious Threads -

The dancing colors stained on her amber irises as they stilled on an indefinite point in the air, unseeing. She wanted to believe it was the alcohol, but her whole being knew it wasn't. The festive air cheered her up a bit, true, but there was this void of silence that haunted her mind whenever she just stopped whirling and laughing with her friends. The void caught her, distancing her from the present world with a gripping force and she'd sink in, wondering where she went wrong.

Her friend's house was quite modern in comparison to her mother's – it was significantly wider and had this miniscule garden-like backyard that the family had covered with a glass roof and where they used to make all their parties. Since it was the Rinne Festival and everyone was supposed to celebrate and exchange gifts, her friend's family had decided to use the occasion and adorn the space with silvery cords and flickering lanterns. If she had to be honest, she had been in that house numerous times before but never actually got to experience anything as mesmerizing as this.

In her mind, garden parties were a spring notion, but now that she sat on soft, light-colored cushions around the improvised kotatsu tables, covered with pastel tablecloths and looked around in complete awe, she wasn't sure anymore. Honestly, garden parties looked way cooler during winter.

The table was almost empty, with most of the attending babbling around the inner part of the house, where the host was giving away sake and dancing to the pleasant melody coming from the funny-looking VCR across the room. Amaya sighed, gulping down the last drops of her sake cup and leaned back on the soft pillows around her, taking one to hug tight in her arms.

Her eyes skimmed over the rimmed glass roof over and the small mounds of dry snow that covered the edges like lustrous white dust. The lantern flames cast soft reflections onto her features and she smiled a little. Then a shadow passed over her face and her eyes distanced in a haze once again.

Was it her fault?

Did she say something that distanced or scared him...?

... or was she fooling herself all along?

"Hey, stand up and come dance with us, Ay." The round face of her closest friend, Yui, appeared in sight, blocking the view with a pout. "You love dancing, don't try to convince me otherwise."

"I won't." Amaya laughed, sitting up and smoothing the black floral organza dress she wore.

Yui gave her a meaning look before getting on her feet and grabbing Amaya up as well. She placed a cup in her hand and dragged her inside the house. "You need more sake."

"No, I don't." Amaya chuckled, shaking her head. "I'm already dizzy. I planned to go home."

"I'll pretend you didn't say that just now." Yui murmured without caring to look at her, releasing her friend as she searched for the sake pot.

"I'm serious. I hate leaving my mom alone on this holiday and she'd never admit she needs my company." Amaya sighed, pushing the empty cup in Yui's hands insistently and with a sorry smile. "I tried to convince her to come to your party, but she refused."

"Of course she did," Yui furrowed, eyeing the eager guests next to them who appeared to have had too much of the alcoholic beverage she offered already. At least someone was having a good time. "I can't even begin to comprehend your levels of introversion sometimes."

"Don't be mad with me," Amaya begged, touching her arm.

"I'm not." Yui pursed her lips. "But you'll let me send you off to your house."

Amaya chuckled. "Deal."

The screeching wind didn't allow them to go on lengthy chatting, but Amaya was grateful to the courage and fortitude Yui displayed in the short way to her home. The blizzard has been whirling for too long now, she couldn't even remember when it began. They parted warmly and Amaya stood still, leaning on her front door and followed Yui's retreating form with slight worry.

There was something in the air… she looked up to the sky and narrowed eyes. A strange, different scent. But somewhat familiar. Her shoulder pushed the front door open and hurried to close it with a sigh of relief. The fireplace glowed cozily in the living room, but as Amaya hung her coat on the wall, her eyes didn't find a certain figure on its usual place.

"Mom?" Amaya called out, removing her shoes and stepping inside the house with a raised brow. The cookies next to the armchair looked freshly-made, her mother promised they'd be when she returns from the party. The familiar scent had increased and Amaya walked to the kitchen, where she suspected she'd find her mother. There was a shuffling noise. "Mom, are you-"

"I'm here, dear." Her mother's face emerged from behind the kitchen counter with an unusual paleness and alarm to it, hands up as if to divert the attention to another one in the room and Amaya's eyes fell on it right away. Her figure bent down in a bow of respect instinctively.

"Hey," Naruto greeted inconveniently, "I just met Ahina-san and I gotta tell you, she's the coolest mom ever."

Once Amaya straightened up and when the three of them sank in a continuous silence, she started to feel a little odd. Neither of them moved as she had her eyes locked with Naruto's across the kitchen and waited in anticipation for something to happen, but the more seconds flashed the more she felt a tight clench in her gut. Because she had spent years perfecting her skills and reading through Naruto was the easiest thing in the world.

His baby-blue eyes held hers and he was so wired to keep the perfunctory cheeriness on that she wondered whether he had succeeded to fool her mother.

Her gaze tore away from Naruto's and she went behind the counter to pour some water in a glass, as casually as possible. She knew he wouldn't just stop replying to her letters without a reason, but now… she kind of wished he had done just that. She preferred the lesser evil to whatever Naruto was keeping for himself right now.

"It was very nice meeting you, Lord Seventh, but I think I'll go see the fire before it dies out," Ahina announced quietly and left the room with a bow.

"This is a clone." Amaya sipped from her water and left it back on the counter nervously. "Why a clone?"

Naruto closed the distance between them, glancing at the opened door.

"Amaya," He started up timidly, leaning down to find her blurred eyes. "I'm afraid we have to speak with the Tsuchikage. You need to come back to Konoha as quickly as possible."

Amaya raised her eyes with a nod of agreement. The Hokage wouldn't bother if it wasn't danger of the highest rank or concern that was close to his heart. Either was sure to be heavy on her ears.

"Why me?" Amaya breathed out, looking at him desperately. "What does this has anything to do with me? I've never borne ill will against anyone-"

"Your fault lies in something else entirely." Naruto shook his head. "Sakura has a reason to believe you might be the only hope we have. So please," He stepped to her and took a shallow breath before continuing. "Shino is… uh, h-he's, well… he's dying." The words stumbled with the amount of dread he couldn't stop from slipping through.

Amaya's irises widened in horror and before she could speak or take a breath, Naruto caught her arms and forced her to keep her focus on him. She couldn't believe it and yet… there was something in the air maybe or just something in her bloodstream, something that forestalled this all. She could feel it in the cries of the wind, that he wasn't alright. Every time she came home and there was no letter from him. She just knew it, in her heart.

"How did that happen?" Amaya whispered through clenched teeth. "What are you telling me? Is it a battle-wound?" Her breath hitched with desperation. "My Shino is not," she swallowed the lump of anger that suddenly suffocated her in an unfamiliar way, "weak."

Naruto peered into her eyes for a while as if to check whether she was saying the truth. Amaya wondered why for a single second, but then the pain overwhelmed her and she folded hands and held herself, feeling as it threatened to bend her in two. Her head shook in disagreement and absolute denial.

"My Shino is not weak."

"You are either lying incredibly well or there's something really messed up going on." Naruto furrowed.

"What do you mean by that?" Amaya met his eyes eagerly.

"I will ask this once and I'll decide what to do after I hear your answer," Naruto explained carefully. "I know it's none of my business, but it kinda is because Shino is my friend and he's getting worse by the minute." He made another pause. "Why have you stopped writing to him?"

Amaya's lips parted with astonishment.

"I have sent him letters every week," She exhaled, not trusting her voice. "Without exception."

Naruto raised a brow. "Really?"

"I… swear." Amaya put a hand on her heart, but she didn't have to convince Naruto any further. The sorrowful breaking of her voice spoke enough. "Why did he stop answering me?"

"His father told me there weren't any letters from Iwa in weeks." Naruto scratched his head with confusion. "He said he suspected you've probably lost interest and blamed himself for giving that whole idea with the letters. And that he never had the courage to admit that in front of Shino in fear that he might do something that he shouldn't. I mean, not that your lost interest could be proven in any way, but even kept in secret it did damage." Naruto sighed, leaning on the counter. "I noticed something's wrong with him for a while, but I thought it's just him, you know. He's weird all the time."

Amaya couldn't help the choked laugh that fell off her lips.

"I believe Shibi was at a loss and didn't know what to do. Telling him to leave it, to leave you… would've meant hurting him immensely. Also, Shino is pretty hard to read and pretty dangerous. If he had gotten angry again, Shibi would've felt responsible for it on top of being guilty of inciting your relationship. And trust me, nobody wants any more wars. Especially me. I have plenty of paperwork already."

"Apparently, someone does," Amaya commented with a pained expression. "I was told nothing's wrong with the postal services."

"I don't know. That's why I sent a clone here, to see what's going on once and for all. If it's not the postal services or you, then it's someone else. I hoped that The Tsuchikage might help us with that. Moreover, we need her permission to let you come back to Konoha." Naruto came off the counter with a huff. "So we should go to her."

"I'm going to Konoha. Now." Amaya wrested out of his grip and ran to the door, putting her coat on under the surprised look of her mother who stood up from the armchair. "I don't care."

Naruto followed her silently, the worry written clearly on his face.

"But… the roads are blocked with snow and ice, don't they?" Her mother spoke, a concerned wrinkle on her forehead. Her words were more directed to Naruto, perhaps with hopes that he'll find a way to reason with her daughter or stop her from doing something stupid. Ahina was wrong to think anything could stop her.

"I said don't care. I'm going."

"Not before we talk to the Tsuchikage first." Naruto reminded, touching her shoulder mildly.

Amaya furrowed at him, taking a sharp breath before pulling the front door open with a hissing Fine and dashing in the wintry dusk outside. Naruto nodded at Ahina and managed a small smile.

"Don't worry, I'll bring her back to you alive and well."

Ahina's eyes darkened a tad and she averted with visible sadness.

"She's not good at dealing with losses, Lord Seventh. But I know that even if you have no equal in strength, still it is not within your power to keep her spirit unbroken… if it's meant to break."

"Well, hope dies last." Naruto shrugged, making Ahina half-smile at him one last time before he left.

After a short battle with the harsh winds, they found themselves in the Kage Residence, a solid stone structure like every other in the village who did a great job at stopping the cold from sneaking in. Amaya was glad to be Naruto's guide through the village and the Residence since she knew them all too well due to her shinobi duties. And the fact that her frequent missions and the Kage's interest in her both led her into a closer relationship with the Kage and so... she spent lots of time in the place.

Kurotsuchi seemed kind of fond of her and Amaya accepted her fondness in the form of respectful and polite friendship, which was mostly confusing, but not uncomfortable. Amaya considered this all a privilege and an honor, to have won the Tsuchikage's trust. As she climbed the stairs up to her office, listening to the harsh blowing of the wind outside and the strict following of Konoha's Hokage behind her back, she thought… she's forgotten how well life had turned out for her.

Until those Kamizuru zealots didn't take away her mother that day, of course. Destroying every bit of trust anyone has ever had in her.

She discarded the thought quickly and exchanged it for another. What happened with those letters? Poor Shibi, he must've thought she has stopped writing and had discarded both him and his son abruptly and without any explanation whatsoever. She wondered what his opinion of her was by now. And Shino… he's been waiting for those letters every week and not receiving any must've broken in his heart. What did he think of her? And what happened to him?

Dying?

A shiver ran down her spine, the panic invading her mind. It sounded so unreal and fantastic to her, to imagine him in such a helpless state. She had the strange feeling of being the last blow against the thin veil of tolerance he had constructed between himself and the rest of the world and its constant blows on him.

Naruto reached for the office door when they finally stopped, in an attempt to knock, but it was opened before that and he practically punched the person on the other side before any of them could see their face. Amaya breathed out a chuckle when Naruto quickly started apologizing.

"Who do you think you are-" It was a brown-haired man who opened the door and fell into a fit of anger, but then Amaya stepped up with a sorry smile on her face, pulling Naruto more into the light of the room, making him freeze.

"Kontsuchi, that's… The Seventh Fire Shadow." Amaya announced, with a comical undertone, because she could practically see the color on Kontsuchi's face disappear. Instead, it went to Naruto's face as he blushed humbly. "You wouldn't want to pick a fight, I presume."

"Not at all," Kontsuchi bowed down respectfully. "My deepest apologies, the Kage is a bee user and she senses when someone is approaching from afar. Welcome to Iwagakure."

"What a sudden appearance, Nanadaime." At the sound of the well-known female voice, the three of them turned around to see the Tsuchikage getting off the chair and nearing. Her brown eyes narrowed for a moment, then she gestured Kontsuchi to leave them in private, which he obeyed immediately. "Late in the afternoon, on such a terrible blizzard. It must be something of crucial importance."

Naruto took a breath, visibly morphing into his most ingratiating form, but Amaya cut him off before he could even start talking.

"I need to go back to Konoha. It's urgent."

"I think everyone agreed you'd never go back there," Kurotsuchi replied calmly, eyes curiously flashing to Naruto.

"We have a problem and she might help us fix it." He said, at last, and grinned his most charming grin.

The Kage thought a little, her eyes bouncing from the one to the other, then she slowly turned around and headed back to her desk. "I am guessing this problem has got the shape of a certain Aburame."

"Well." Naruto looked at Amaya and she saw in his eyes that he broke the act and decided to go for the truth. "Yeah. We'll need your permission to let her come with me. You must be aware of Uchiha Sakura, surely, and her opinion on the matter was strong. I trust she wouldn't send me with such a request if it wasn't crucial. That certain Aburame is not well for a few days and is getting worse."

"I guessed that too."

Kurotsuchi sat on her chair with some kind of guilt on her face, eyes down on the sheets of paper. Amaya and Naruto exchanged glances of confusion.

"Excuse me?" Amaya asked, the carefully bridled hysteria threatening to let loose inside her, her bees already coiling her chakra, readying for battle. Naruto stepped to her and his hand pushed her arm back lightly, before stepping almost in front of her.

"Care to explain what that means, Tsuchikage?" Naruto demanded, in his most calm tone.

Kurotsuchi removed her Kage hat and placed it slowly on her desk before opening a small shelf in it, her hand pulling a bundle of more than half a dozen letters, tied with a knot. She left them on the desk's surface and swallowed, facing Naruto. Amaya's heart palpitated fast and she could feel her blood quaking in her veins, leaving her with a mixture of bewilderment, anger, and dread.

Feet dragging her further, she stopped in front of the desk and took a good look at the letters, recognizing them right away.

Naruto came closer again, perhaps in fear that she'll do something stupid, but her mind was just blank for one long, long minute filled only with her heavy breathing and the moaning of the icy wind outside. Then there was this wave of tiredness that overwhelmed her, a lump in her throat that suffocated all the anger and replaced it with tangible heartache. So tangible that she felt shortness of breath and needed to lean on the desk for a moment before regaining her balance again.

"Do you know what you've done to him?" She growled, turning to look at the Tsuchikage. "To me…? Huh?!" Friendship? What friendship did she even try to accomplish? Her friendship was worth nothing now. And whatever excuses was she going to justify that deed with, it wasn't going to be enough.

Kurotsuchi seemed paler and worried to her bones, remorseful even, to some extent and she fought to find the right words before taking a breath and pushing them out of her.

"I admit I hid your letters. I sent an entrusted person of mine to retrieve your letters before they're sent away to Konohagakure. I did this, thinking about how to protect my people." She started, the words echoing firmly in comparison to Amaya's unstable ones. When all she received was Amaya's silent glaring, she decided it's safe to continue, "You don't know what he wants… or what his intentions are. You can't possibly tell me you are absolutely certain of his innocence and that it is fully unquestionable."

"Yes, I can." Amaya leaned on the desk with her hands, leaning to the Kage.

"But you'll never be able to prove it. Don't tell me Aburame don't have any interest at all, in wiping us out. Those sect idiots only reminded them why that'd be a good idea." Kurotsuchi looked at Naruto. "I don't think we should be naïve and risk the peace we fought hard to establish and keep for so many years now with allowing seditious activities, isn't that right, Hokage?"

"Seditious activities?" Amaya snapped with disbelief. "We were talking-" Her voice did a tumble and she silenced, averting her gaze. It wasn't the right way to shout, but she hadn't felt so upset in a long time. She went on, quietly, "…about tea and about the weather. Nobody wants to fight anyone, Tsuchikage. If you had opened those letters, you would've seen it."

"I tried to protect you, Amaya. You should be grateful, knowing what this closeness brought to both Konoha and Iwa."

"No, you should be grateful that I won't tell anyone what you've done," Amaya explained calmly, taking a step back with. "You destroyed two lives. And I don't even hate you, because if he dies… it's on both of us."

"I will always think for the good of this village and you know it. I can't be responsible for other villages, other clans or other people." The Tsuchikage appeared frustrated a little offended by Amaya's words but overall content with the situation. Perhaps she's expected worse. Her glance to Naruto assured her he felt the same, even though he was still surprised by this new revelation. "All the more, I am not really sure still, if it's wise for you to go back to that clan. No offense to your governing skills, venerable Hokage, but Aburame are the incarnation of unpredictable."

"My dear Tsuchikage, trust me." Naruto intervened with a raise of his hand. "No belligerent intentions hide behind this whole situation. Just… the opposite, in fact."

"I don't need anyone's permission to leave the village, Lord Seventh. I am done here." Amaya leaned to Naruto, with her breaths a bit ragged, before dashing outside the office and sliding down the dusky stone corridor.

Whatever those two talked about after she left, she couldn't hear even if she forced herself to – the terrible gale sang harshly outside and intertwined with the sadness that gushed from her eyes. How convenient did everyone find this continuous fate-crossing she experienced with Shino that the world turned and turned and every time it found a comfortable position it was either her or Shino ending up hurt or apart?

It had started to feel like some sort of divine punishment or perhaps amusement to roll the dice to their mutual detriment. Because there was something very wrong and inexplicably intolerable, it seems, in the notion of their closeness. As if they were magnets of different charge and it seemed natural that they wouldn't be together, and if they tried to force it, everything around protested, and crumbled and suffered.

When Amaya stepped out in the cold, she let her tears fall down her face and she sobbed, rent with pain that she didn't want. Her pace never slowed down for she was determined to never stop, whatever it took her. Whatever she had to sacrifice in order to allow the balance of one touch. Just one touch was all she asked for. One touch from him could keep her alive for a century.

The razor gust cut through her face, but she didn't stop, marching against it like she was going to war and her breaths were counted. Because if his were counted, then hers were as well. If whatever gods existed out there hated the idea of their love so much, then she'd have no say in the matter, it was all too clear.

But if there was a chance, a glimpse in which she could tear those vicious threads and bring life to something that could bring positive change, then she'd carry the burden and the pain for as long as she has to.

She was ready for it.

"Amaya!"

She quickly used her sleeve to wipe her tears before he appears next to her, which he truly did, soon after she heard his voice in the distance. Naruto shifted in front of her, making her stop her wild pace in the middle of one desolate street. The lit up lanterns flashed on the coruscating, polished surface of the concrete beneath them and Amaya noticed the fabulous gleam just now. As gorgeous Konoha had been when she couldn't ever remember not falling distracted by the mystic beauty of Iwa's exteriors.

She felt Naruto's eyes on her face as she stared vacantly at the winter scenery and said nothing, her hair carelessly dancing on both sides of her pale features. The hard, crystallized surface underneath browsed a little under Naruto's weight as he stepped closer, took her hand and squeezed it to get her attention.

"It's going to be alright, Amaya." He assured her, with a timid voice.

"You don't know that, ok? You know nothing of insect users." She wearied, with a melancholic tint to her voice. "We see the world differently. We experience... profoundly."

"That's why I came here to take you." Naruto shrugged. "Shino's condition is… something I've never seen before, you're right. Kamizuru might have an explanation, but we have no time for guessing now."

"Yeah, we should go." Amaya nodded faintly, looking back at Naruto.

He furrowed, clearly trying his best to think of a way to lift the spirits. Then he stepped up and wrapped his hands around her. Amaya flinched, overly surprised by his behavior, but then the warmth of his embrace calmed her vastly and she found herself returning the affection, leaning on him with silent gratitude. The Hokage was never one that she felt uncomfortable around for he was always so amicable and warm that it got her wondering why she hasn't asked for his unostentatious cordiality earlier.

"You know, I once heard someone say that great suffering appears only to give way to great joy. So… you shouldn't worry."

"I'll try." Amaya huffed, her lips curving a little.

Then he backed away, looking directly in her eyes.

"Listen, I said we have no time not because we don't have time but because I didn't want to look terrifically uncool admitting that my clone is taking much more chakra from me than I anticipated. Believe me or not, there is a nine-tailed demon laughing at me somewhere right now."

Amaya chuckled. "Let's hurry, then. Before you puff out."

A/N: Thank you very much for reading! Whew, I managed to update in time lol what a surprise for all of us. I actually had a dream where I saw Amaya lying on the ground with that particular floral dress and crying, and I remember hearing her whisper how much she misses Shino. I woke up with this wonder and inspiration. My brain recreated her for me in a dream just as beautifully as I imagined her wow.

Maybe I should've warned about the dreadful amounts of angst I put in my fanfics. Sorry. I'll try to update as fast as I can and also thank you very much to all those who recently followed/favorited as well as the ones who leave such kind reviews I don't deserve, you're the main reasons I keep this going! My love for you all is great. I hope I give justice to all original characters and keep my OCs likable.

Until next time!