Okay, so thanks to the ONE person who actually bothered to show any appreciation of an update in a review!
Sorry this took so long. I was planning on updating last weekend but I ended up on a Night Hike and, to be honest, after hiking the entire night, getting lost in endless cow fields at 3am and being covered in cow crap, I wasn't really in the mood to write!
Edward didn't sleep much that night. He couldn't stop thinking about what had nearly happened with Bella.
He wasn't angry at her; he understood. She was confused. So was he.
Plus, she had a point about him leaving. He knew he had to leave in a matter of days, as much as he hated to admit it, and starting something with Bella would be difficult for the both of them with such distance between them.
He was, though, more sure of his feelings for her. And hers for him.
At least now he knew; it gave him peace at mind to know that the attraction wasn't one sided.
Rolling over, he groaned and looked at the clock.
5am
He sighed; he had woken up every hour since he had gone to bed and he just wasn't tired anymore.
Deciding to do something productive, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, standing still while he got his balance. After he had pulled on some jeans, he padded into the living room and looked around. Everything was as they had left it the night before. He tidied all that needed tidying and then found his bag, taking out his notebook and looking over some of the things he had written.
Tapping his pencil on the paper, he struggled to get himself into the right frame of mind to carry on with what he had written the last time he had begun to write. After about half and hour of staring at a blank page, he sighed in frustration; he obviously wasn't going to get anywhere with this song tonight.
Instead, he powered up his laptop, deciding it would be a good idea to see whether there had been any response to the email he had sent to Adam what seemed like weeks ago.
Sure enough, he had many neglected emails, several of which were from Adam or the other band members. Sighing, he clicked the first email from Adam.
Edward,
What the hell? What's wrong with you?
What the bloody hell are you doing in London?
What about the band?
Remember us?
Seriously, get your head straight and get back here.
Call me.
Adam.
Edward hastily pressed delete before moving on to the next email. It was from Kyle, their vocalist. It followed on pretty much the same lines as Adam's had; demanding for him to come back to Edinburgh and sort himself out. The last part caught his attention, though.
Matt's been getting us some really good shows and you know what? We've had to turn down some of the best offers we've ever had because you're off pansying around in London.
Edward gulped guiltily; he really was causing some problems within the band. Matt, their manager, had always gotten them decent shows but now they were getting better shows, he was mucking it up for them.
He ran his hand through his hair in frustration; he knew he would have to return to Edinburgh almost immediately. But he didn't want to. He wanted to stay here, in London. He wanted to stay with Jasper and Alice and, most importantly, Bella. He wanted to stay here forever and be with the woman he has feelings for. He didn't want to go back to Edinburgh.
He considered for a moment just sending them an email telling them to get stuffed but he knew he couldn't do that. Not only could he not do it to them or the band, he couldn't do it to himself. No matter how much he felt he didn't want to go back, he knew that he wanted to be back with his friends, back with the band. But what about Bella? his mind screamed. He felt like screaming "I don't know!" at the top of his lungs but he didn't want to wake the others.
Eventually, he pulled himself together and decided to write an email to them. Today was Wednesday. He decided he would leave Friday night.
Guys,
I get it. I'm sorry.
I know I've been acting like an ass recently and now the band is suffering.
Don't worry; I'll leave Friday night and be back in Edinburgh by Saturday.
See you then.
Edward.
He pressed send and shut down his laptop, suddenly very tired. He padded through to his room to see it was nearly 7:30. Collapsing on his bed, he stared up at the ceiling in frustration; he really didn't want to leave Bella but then again, he didn't want to leave the band either.
Sighing one last time, he rolled over and tried to get some sleep.
……………………………………………….
"Edward!" Alice sang through the door, waking him up with a start.
"What?" he asked groggily, running a hand through his undoubtedly messy hair.
"Wake up!" she laughed,
"Why?" he moaned like a child; he was just so damn tired from staying the lack of sleep the night before.
The next moment, Alice was in the room, opening the curtains and windows, much to Edward's disproval.
"I don't want to act like your mother, Edward, but if you won't get up then I'll have to." She teased, grinning mischievously.
"Why do I even have to get up?" he moaned groggily,
"Because, it's 1 o'clock in the afternoon and Bella's coming over soon."
Edward gasped. "1 o'clock?"
"Yup!" Alice laughed, popping the 'p'.
Edward sprung out of bed, "Why didn't you wake me earlier?" he asked, panicked. He was angry that he was wasting the last of his time here.
Alice shrugged, "I figured you needed the sleep after being up this morning,"
"Did I wake you?" Edward asked guiltily,
"No," Alice laughed, "You left all of your things on the table."
"Damn," Edward cursed as he tried to straighten up his bed.
"When's Bella coming over?" he asked, slightly flustered.
"Any minute now," Alice shrugged, grinning impishly as she floated out of the room.
Edward cursed loudly before he rushed to the bathroom to shower quickly. He hastily brushed his teeth and shaved before returning to his room to pull on some clothes.
When he heard Bella's laugh coming from the living room while he was trying to pull on some jeans, he nearly fell over. His hair was still damp and he had only a pair of jeans on but he ran into the living room, realising that he had left all of his stuff on the table.
Jasper, who had evidently returned from his business trip, was sitting on the sofa, laughing at something with Bella, who was standing by the table, and Alice.
As Edward ran into the room they all stopped laughing for a moment before they burst into what seemed to be subdued laughter. Edward rolled his eyes; he knew he must look pretty comical at that moment.
He strode over to the table and picked up his laptop and put it away, scanning the table for the notebook he was sure he had left on the table.
"Looking for this?" Alice giggled before holding his notebook up for him to see. His frown disappeared from his face and was replaced by a mix of anger and embarrassment.
"Y-yeah," he replied, utterly mortified at the thought of anyone, especially Bella, seeing what he had written.
Alice laughed before throwing it onto the table. Edward snatched it up, earning a laugh from Jasper and Alice, before he stormed off into his room. He could feel that he was blushing and flustered. He was so angry he wanted to shout at Alice but he was so embarrassed that he couldn't face going out there again.
He didn't know why it bothered him so much; people always knew what he wrote, obviously, in songs. Why should this be any different? he thought to himself. But even before he's finished asking the question, he knew why. It was because he had written something he would have never thought he could even think about another person and now the person he couldn't admit it to knew. He felt like a child again. He felt like he was 12 again and his older, popular crush had found out how he felt and the whole school would soon know about his ridiculous optimism.
He threw the notebook onto his bed and leaned against the wall, running his hand through his hair in frustration while trying to calm down.
"Don't be embarrassed," a small voice startled him, making him jump from the wall and swirl around to face Bella. She smiled a little at his surprise before coming into the room. "I liked it, and so did they." She told him, smiling reassuringly.
Although he didn't quite believe her, he calmed a little, happy to know that there was a possibility she wasn't freaked.
"Thanks," he croaked.
She laughed a little, "You know, I haven't seen you embarrassed in a long time, Edward Cullen."
He began to blush again and as soon as she noticed, she tried to reassure him again.
"Honestly, though, I really like it. I thought it was sweet." She grinned, taking his hand and squeezing.
He smiled back in appreciation, "Shame the others aren't as open minded."
She laughed, "I told you, they like it too! They just enjoy playing with your mind, that's all!"
Edward laughed uncomfortably.
"Have you written any music to go with the lyrics?" Bella asked, somewhat shyly.
He replied, sitting down on his bed. "How did you know it was a song?"
Bella shrugged, sitting down on his bed, smiling slightly "Well, you are a musician," she laughed.
He chuckled at the obviousness of the answer before moving back to her original question.
"I haven't got a guitar with me so I haven't written any actual music."
"Can I hear it? When it's finished, that is." she asked quietly after a short silence.
He blushed; he hadn't been expecting that.
He wanted to show her but he didn't. It was something he wanted to say, or sing, to her but he didn't know if he could, didn't know if he could write something truly worthy of that.
"It doesn't matter," Bella said quietly, sighing.
"No!" Edward said quickly, "I will play it to you." He said with conviction "But, only once it's completely finished."
She smiled happily at his uncertain face, "I'm sure it'll be amazing when it's finished,"
He smiled sheepishly before they both got up and decided to head into the kitchen where they could hear Alice and Jasper talking.
Bella launched straight into conversation once they were there while Edward remained in a nervous haze.
He was uncertain if he could write something good enough to play to Bella and all he could think was 'Oh, crap'.
A little shorter than usual, I know.
Sorry!
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that. :)
Review, Review, Review!
Preview of chapter 15 for all reviewers! :)