Disclaimer: Really quick. Not own Trigun.
C-E: Ha! I'm back! I know, I know.. Why aren't you doing the other chapters you asshole! Well, because I don't know. I'm thinking about doing another anime... Hm. Maybe... But Here's the next chapter of Clone... This IS Clone, right?
Clone
Chapter Fifteen:
The Little Red Book
((((Start))))
It wasn't the way Legato wanted to be woken up that morning. You see, our favorite psychopath was sleeping right beneath Vashina's room, so he could hear her annoying clock, her scream, and her stomping down the stairs in search of Clone.. No, this wasn't the way a maniac should be awakened...
He sighed and got dressed. He wanted to assert himself so this wouldn't happen again... Walking outside, he whistled as Vashina was ushered back into her room by her sympathetic father…
((In Vashina's Room))
She sat cross-legged on the floor in front of her closet with the rhythmic curls of smoke wafting gracefully to the ceiling above her "god," a perfectly frosted donut. Her eyes were closed and her mind soon relieved itself of any thoughts regarding hatred. Yes, only the devotion of her god could clear her mind of the frailties that the humans have infected her mind with...
Her eyes shot open... Ok, that was weird... Did she just think humans were worthless...?
Meow Meow Meow...
She shifted to glare over her shoulder. That damn clock...
Tmp tmp. She walked over to the accursed clock, with it's cute meow and donut. She picked it up...
CRASH! Thud.
"Thud?" She crouched beneath the window and peered over the pane. Two golden eyes glared up at her while a gloved hand rubbed gingerly his blue hair with the clock laying, mockingly, on the desert beside him. Vashina stared wide eyed as a shiver fell down her spine and her breath slowly left her body as if running away before she died...
She slowly backed away and crawled to the door. Creaaak. Her head poked out, quickly taking in her surroundings. Alas! Her father stood down the hall with a tool belt attached to his waist as he crashed around with Clone's bedroom's broken door. She sneaked her way over to him, staying close to the floor as if she were in war, constantly looking over her shoulder and down the stairs.
When she finally reached him, she timidly tugged on his pant leg, laying on her stomach with head cocked towards the stairs. Vash looked down at his "daughter" and raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong, Vashina?"
Vashina shook her head (quite a feat considering she never took her eyes off the stairs) and asked her father, "Um, dad? You fought Legato, right? Is he... you know, obsessive over killing and/or getting revenge?"
Vash let out boisterous chuckle and sat down next to his daughter, "OH MAN! Are you kidding me? I couldn't go five minutes without some one dieing around me! Man, he was brutal! Filled my dreams with pictures of burning kittens and reruns of DBZ! It was horrible! You won't believe how happy I was to finally killed him! But, now that's he back, I sometimes get a little antsy... I think he's doesn't remember me putting a bullet through his head..." he finished, rubbing his chin with his workman's-gloved hands, "Why do you ask dear?" he asked, looking down at the now deathly pale Vashina...
Vashina mumble something about praying to her god some more and slithered back to her room. Sounds akin to furniture being pushed up against her door could be heard as Vash stared for a long time at Knives' old room. He shrugged and stood up, turning back to his assignment.
Repairing Clone's door.
WHAM!
Legato walked up the stairs, intent on shoving the cat clock he had in Vash's hand into places not to be mentioned on this rated story, when his eyes befell an amusing scene. Vash stood in the middle of the hall with door leaning upon his forehead and drops of blood dripping from said forehead to the floor. The gunman was shivering with rage considering that Clone thought she would put a nail in her door in case she would ever wanted to put a name board on it, which was now lodge in his head.
Let's take a moment to feel sorry for Vash...
Okay moment over. Legato raised an eyebrow when many of us would have giggled and walked on to Vashina's room. He spread his mind to reach the corners of her room and found the clone huddle against in a corner surrounded by a fortress of cushions with a single hole that she could peek out of. He stared at the door, knowing full well that it was blocked with furniture on the other side.
Our psychic friend peered over at Vash as he sighed his rage away and gently put the door back on it's hinges. The blue-haired man grabbed Vashina's doorknob and pulled the door towards him... He chuckled, "You foolish girl... You forgot the door's swing out in this house; moreover; you didn't lock it..." he droned pushing the barricade out of his way as he advance on the whimpering cushion fort...
((In the Air Vents))
Clone wiped her forehead with her sleeve and stood with utmost glee, staring at her accomplishment... Yes, it was amazing what she could do with her ability to bend the laws of time and space, that even she did not know she had.
She walked down the hallway that used to be called "air conditioning" now renovated with plush apple red carpeting running the stretch of wall, covered with a creamy white wallpaper that met the paintings of Knives with such finesse that it seemed his sparkling eyes followed you as the reduced, lowered lighting spread soft shadow upon the floor.
Clone leaned back in a plush chair situated at intervals along the hall as she looked up at the picture of her adored father figure… Yes, he was a fascinating man. Someone Clone knew made the perfect model for genocide…
Yet, there was a tiny spark within her that said she could do better. A small voice crying out, "Stand up! Succeed where that fool has failed! Ignore this failure and become his ruler and that of mankind's master!"
There was no doubt… Clone had indigestion… Or at least that's what she thought. It was a human fallacy but seeing as she has been living with them, there was no doubt in her mind that she somehow caught this sickness…
…Yes, Clone had much to learn about human health….
She sighed and stood up. "Maybe I should go ask the female-spiders about this infliction…" she said to herself.
((Back Downstairs Also Known As The Kitchen))
Meryl was happy. Or at least, as happy as she could be considering there were screams coming from upstairs and cussing from Vash prior to a loud thud. Our two favorite ladies were busy making breakfast. Milly prattled on about how awesome "Mr. Priest" was as Meryl sighed repeatedly and flipped pancakes…
Yes, Meryl was happy. Until Clone suddenly appeared beside her and poked inquisitively at the doughy goodness. Meryl stopped flipping and turned two piercing glares at Clone who simply smiled them back. She grabbed Meryl's arm and walked outside, leaving Milly to talk to herself unaware that no one listened.
Meryl sighed and took off her apron laying it on the back of a rocking chair they placed on the porch. She slid down into it and stared at their plush garden, the fruit of many years. Clone hopped up on the railing in front of Meryl, obstructing her view, and looked her in the eyes.
"Short female-spider, you seem to be the most knowledgeable about spider health. Tell me, what is the affliction when you have pains in the stomach area and voices telling you bad things?"
Meryl stared at her for a moment with a look of total confusion and amusement on her face. After a while, her mind clicked and she was able to answer the question. "Well, it can be many things… Can you tell me more about it?" Meryl asked, hoping this day would only come when Didrean grew up.
"Hmm," Clone muttered jumping down and pacing before Meryl, "I suppose I've been feeling tired and angry quite a lot… I get hot often and it feels like I've been depressed lately…"
Meryl sighed. Crap, this is going to be awkward. She stood up and lead Clone to her previous seat. The ex-insurance lady stood straight and took a deep breath. "Alright Clone. You're a Plant. But sometimes, a Plant has physical problems like a human does. What you're going through now is something we call …" she paused letting her face fall.
Wait, what would they call this…
Meryl shook her head, noticing she was talking to Clone. "You know what? Screw it! Vash and I got a book on this so we could learn how to explain it. It's in my room. Go get and read it. I don't need this right now. I have breakfast to make," she muttered grabbing her apron and walking back into the kitchen, where Milly prattled on.
Clone sat rocking back in forth in deep meditation, thinking of the deep psychological processes that she never really understood of the human nature, the way they can understand so much about themselves and still not be able fix the greater problems…
Or maybe she just enjoying the sound the rocker made when it moved.
No one can really tell. Either way, she eventually got up and circled the house to enter through the front, simply to avoid the nauseating smells of human pre-waste. She found her way up stairs, noticed her bedroom's door was fixed (and promptly wrecked it again) and walked into Meryl's room. She found a bookshelf with many interesting titles, "How to Train Your Husband," "The Pit and the Pendulum," and more recently, "277 Ways to Commit Massive Genocide When Your House Is Filled With Moochers And Get Away With It…"
But, finally, our hero found her book, "The Secret of Babes." Well, she found the book next to it. She flipped through the pages and nodded. Yes, this was the one. Time to learn how to defeat the humans from within!
Ah, foolish short spider. She gave Clone her perfect weapon. Yes, Father would be proud when she brought back all the spiders with their rotting corpses and heads stuck to pikes… Very proud.
But first! Clone looked at Meryl's bed…
"Why don't I get a bed?"
((At Breakfast…))
The table was full with energy! Everyone was talking, about what? One could only guess. Legato was as happy as he could be just getting to eat as Didrean and Amy giggled covertly to themselves while he shoveled waffles into his mouth. Vash was glad he finally got that "damn, anti-Semitic, Satanist door" repaired. Wolfwood was glad he slept in late, but everyone wasn't too happy about him coming to breakfast in his boxers.
Meryl chirped about how nice it was when Clone didn't come down to eat. Vashina was scooting as far away from Legato as she could get and giving him her share of food and Milly still prattled on about Wolfwood.
Suddenly, the room fell silent for a nano-second for no particular reason. That's when they heard the strangest sound yet to be heard in the house…
SCREEATCH SKREEEACCHT SKREET- Clunk! "Crap! Who put the wall there?" Skreskreskre. SKREAEEETCH SKKKKKREEEEEK…
The room stared at each other as the noise died. Clone walked down and entered the dinning room, wiping her brow. She stopped when she saw the room staring at her, turned on her heel and walked out the front.
The room turned their glance to Meryl, who picked up her forked and continued eating. There was a collective sigh as the tension broke and everyone was happy again…
((Back With Knives))
He found the perfect spot away from prying human eyes and inquisitive youngsters… He sighed. Ugh, he's sounding more and more stupid. It must be the time he spent with Clone.
But, he was back to his old ways and would soon develop a plan to wipe this planet clean of all parasites. A clean world where his brother, the Plants, and he can live in peace. No more Clone. No more vermin. No more Clone.
He couldn't help but smile as he leaned back in a swivel chair covered with the blood of it's recent occupant, laying on the floor decapitated. He took in his surroundings for the first time. A dark office with a tall ceiling and windows that reached for the total height. Bookshelves holding valuable earth knowledge and a deep mahogany desk sitting in front of the windows. The house in it's entirety was practically a mansion. With two wings spreading like arms from the center.
But, the best part about Knives' new abode was… it is an asylum… and in full practice.
((Back with The House))
Vash stared at the door… Yes, it was broken. But, he just wouldn't believe it. Everything in him told the gunman that the door was not broken but reality told him it was…
Wolfwood stood behind him, fully dressed and smoking. "Hey, that door is broken." Oh yes, and Wolfwood's comments weren't helping either…
Vash sighed and glared at the priest, walking back to his room to get his tools. Wolfwood chuckled and kicked the bed sticking out of Clone's closet…
Oh, did mention Clone shoved Meryl's bed into her closet? I'm pretty sure I did.
Anyway, the bed stuck halfway into the hall and made it awkward for the rest of the house living on it's opposite side, namely half of the residents. But seeing as Clone stuck the bed into the closet with no regard to the laws of space, the household had no ability to move it out of their way…
In other words, them's shit out of luck.
Wolfwood turned and took one step down the hall when he heard an odd "plop" noise from the closet. He turned back and found Clone sitting on her bed holding a book in her hand as she stared at him. "What?"
He shook his head, giving up on understanding her when his eyes caught hold of the book. "Oh, I didn't know you knew how to read…"
Clone smiled and climbed off the bed, "No, no. This is research! But there are a few things I don't understand…" she said, turning the pages as Vash walked back down the hall towards them.
"Like what?" the blonde asked, catching the conversation.
Clone walked over to them, holding open the book. "Well, what does 'intercourse' mean? And these pictures aren't helping either…" she said, tilting the book so the two could see it.
Our two protagonists' eyes widened as they met the page. Vash snatched the book and flipped through the pages. "Holy- I thought I lost this one! Yeah! I remember! It was destroyed in July! Crap! Um… Clone, this isn't for your eyes. I'm going to have to confiscate it." the gunman finished, slightly blushed but still managed a stern, parent façade.
Wolfwood grabbed the book from and searched the pages. "Woah! I didn't think they made 'em like this anymore… Um, yeah Clone. This is a bit too… adult for you…"
Clone shrugged and plopped on to her bed. "I don't care. You guys can have it. I've already read all of it."
They stared at her… "You- you have?" Vash stammered.
"Oh yeah," Clone said, waving her hand in the air. "All pointless stuff really. Although, there were some parts that did confuse me… Overall, it didn't help me at all."
The two men looked at each other. "Help you?" Wolfwood asked.
"Yeah. There was nothing in there that could relieve me of my strife. Stupid human literature."
There was a silence in the hallway as Clone lazed on her new bed and Vash and Wolfwood marveled at her… well, just at her. "So, you have no idea what you just read…" Vash ventured.
Clone peered at him for a minute, then sat up and stared at them. "Why? Was it important human knowledge that could be used as your downfall?"
Wolfwood chuckled, "Well-" Vash elbowed him and finished the sentence.
"No! It's just…. Nothing. It's nothing…" he trailed, backing away.
Clone glared at the two as they backed up. She stood up and slowly followed them. "No, no. It was something. You just don't want to tell me because I'll use it to kill mankind…"
Vash threw up his hands and smiled at her. "No! I wouldn't lie to you! You're my flesh and blood! Really, what you read was nothing and you should probably forget it quickly."
They were halfway to their room and Clone had to act fast. She smiled, "Ah, but you forget that our goals are different Uncle…" she drawled. "You like humans and I don't. And since you like them so much, maybe you're susceptible to their weaknesses…" she said, slowly unzipping her suit. Yes, humans were odd. She found it funny how the two men cowered at such a simple movement. But, she was going to make the talk even if she had to use knowledge she, herself, knew nothing about.
Vash whimpered because he was in front. Clone didn't know it, but, to him, she looked like the epitome of evil and …. Dare I say, lust. But she didn't know it. Wolfwood trailed his hand against the wall as he was pushed back by Vash. His hand finally hit the doorknob and stopped as the gunman tried desperately to shrink back.
Clone saw the priest's actions and thought the time was ripe. Human destruction, here I come. She leapt at Vash and knocked both me into their room, where she hurriedly jumped up and locked the door behind her back, smiling down at her two prisoners as the sun fell down the horizon…
Oh yes, Father would be proud…
((Back with Knives))
He shivered…. And yes, he knew why he shivered. Clone.
But he didn't know the real reason. The real reason was invisible to him although it sat on the desk he poured over, covered with books. The reason was a lady. A lady with thick black hair that spread on the desk's top and soft tan skin which reached up to a smiling face. Her velvet blue eyes stared down at him.
She wore a white gown splattered with spots of blood, remnants of her death. She was the former doctor's first patient, killed in one his experiments. And she had a crush on Knives because he killed her haunt.
She flipped up into the air and landed behind him, sending a bare wind ruffling the pages. Her hands laid themselves upon his shoulders and her plush lips came down to his ears. "You poor thing. You must be tired… Take a nap…" And on queue Knives' head sunk down on his book.
She smiled and began where he left off. She winked at his sleeping form and said, "Don't worry, my love. I'll get all this nasty paperwork out of your way…"
And for that night, Knives slept in bliss…
((Back at the House))
Meryl shut her book and looked at the ceiling. She noticed the quiet… She looked around the living room and found Legato frantically looking under all the chairs for something, Amy and Didrean giggling to themselves, Vashina walking around the room trying to stay away from Legato, and Milly knitting…
Understand that, for some odd reason, no one was in the house when the "incident" happened…
She got up and walked to Vash and Wolfwood's room. The door was locked. "Crap."
((In The Boy's Room))
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! "Open up Vash! I don't know what you're doing in there but you better open up before I break down this door!"
Clone glared at the door from the middle of the room as Vash and Wolfwood were hiding in their bathrooms. (AN: HAHAH! You thought I was going to do something naughty! Well, poo on you!) It was true that her spacesuit was half-open when we last left her but the boys realized that the bathroom was a safe getaway.
She turned her glare into a smile and shifted to the bathroom. She knew the gunman and priest were looking through the keyhole…
She stepped up to the door and placed her body against the wood, putting her hand over the keyhole. There came a faint clicking noise as she moved the tumblers and swung open the door…
The room was empty but the tub was quivering.
She smiled and walked over, ripping the curtain down and found the two men pushed up against it's side. She leaned on the enamel's edge and smiled down at them, chuckling at how red they were. Ah, humans are interesting creatures! If she knew it was this easy to take them over, she would have done it a long time ago. "Well? Are you going to tell me what that book means? Or am I going to have to reveal all the knowledge I read?"
The men whimpered as Clone placed her hand on the zipper…
"Ok! That's IT!" CRAAAASSH! Meryl burst into the room, huffing. She turned to the bathroom and stopped at the scene.
Clone was glaring at her half-naked and the two men were staring at her with fear and relief in their eyes…
The two gray eyes fell on the book in Vash's hands…… She trembled with rage and stomped over to the bathtub, shoving Clone to the side.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING WITH THAT!" she screamed. "You are a MARRIED MAN with CHILDREN!" she continued, snatching the book up and shaking it in front of them. "And YOU!" she turned to the priest, "Don't even get me started on you! I want both of you downstairs NOW! I need time to think of your punishment…"
Clone stared at the human. Meryl sighed, "This wasn't the book I wanted you to read… In fact," she said, tossing it into the toilet. "I don't even remember having this book. Oh well, let me show you what I you should read."
Clone waved her off. "Naw, I have all the information I need…" She smiled walking out of the room as the house headed to it's sleep and she plopped herself onto her bed. "All the information I need……."
((((End))))
C-E: You guys have NO idea how much fun it was to write this chapter! Yeah, I know. It's gotten pretty bad. But, hey! Every story needs a romance…. Or something akin to it… And I'm getting off of the original storyline… Oh well! This stuff is much funner to write! Oh, I'm getting rid of Ham-hams in favor of a random adventure. Won't that be fun!