Author's note: Hi, here I am again. First thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, you all make me so happy. Also thanks for everyone who read and didn't review … So why this AN? Well, I kind of have a question/request to all of you. You probably all know that my first language isn't English but Dutch and I am only learning English in school. So, this school year is at its end (tomorrow I'll get my grades ) and I am already freaking nervous) and so I can focus more on writing. The last year I have been writing my fics pure on my English feeling and without much thinking about the grammar, so what I want you to do … If there is something wrong in my grammar like tense use, or a fault I keep making and stuff, let me know. If you want to give critic on my writing style and/or aspects of the story. Let me know … I want to spend my summer improving my writing and you all could help me a lot with that. Already thanks, now you can enjoy the chapter. I love all of you … (PS: if you have ideas for the story, let me know!)
When It All Falls Apart
In silence Lucas and Peyton enjoyed each others company. Peyton's head rested in Lucas' lap while he stroked her beautiful blond hair. There wasn't so much need for words at this moment. They both were still impressed about what happened by the apartment. Soft music played in the background. 'With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept' from Explosions In The Sky was enough to draw a quite peace between them. More than twelve minutes of instrumental silence. And they both enjoyed it.
"I think we should go and get your car." Lucas said soft after a while and he looked into Peyton's green eyes. She nodded. "Possibly." She answered. Peyton's car was still by the apartment. After the big fight, Lucas had found Peyton so shaky and upset that she wasn't able to drive, so Lucas drove her home with his car. Peyton stood up from the bed, took her red jacket, she wore on their last road trip and took her car keys and they were ready to leave.
"Ready Miss Sawyer?" Lucas said so polite that Peyton began to laugh. "Yeah ready." She answered and took Lucas by the arm. When they were on the beginning of the stairs, Peyton interrupted. "You can go the car Lucas, but I really need to use the bathroom." She said and ran away before he even could react. Lucas went downstairs and waited for her in the car. Five minutes came and went by, still no Peyton. After ten minutes Lucas being alone in his car, he began to wonder what caused her to take some much time. He was afraid something had happened to her, so as fast as he could he made his way back into the house.
"Peyton!" He yelled while he ran up the stairs. No answer. "Peyton!" He ran into her bedroom, suddenly he heard the toilet flush, Peyton walked out of her bathroom. The first thing she saw when she opened the door were Lucas' worried blue eyes. "Are you okay?" He asked, Peyton's skintone was pale. "Yes, just feeling a little dizzy. Nothing serious." She smiled the issue away. "Don't look so worried, it's nothing Lucas, I'm fine now. Come on, let's go and get my car."
"Thank you for the wonderful breakfast this morning Lucas. It was delicious." Peyton said after a while. Lucas looked away from the road and into Peyton's eyes. "It was all my pleasure." He said smiling. Silence returned but Lucas needed to talk about Peyton what happened today, by Haley's apartment.
"How long had you stand there?" Lucas asked while he stopped for the red traffic light. "Where?" Peyton asked, trying to ignore the subject. "Peyton, by Haley. How much did you actually hear?" Lucas looked at the blond-haired girl besides him, but she stared outside through the window. "I heard enough." She whispered. "Peyton? You need to tell me what you've heard? What have you seen?" She swallowed, trying to swallow away her upcoming tears. "Peyton?" He touched her hand. "You can tell me, you know that. Right Peyton?" She nodded, she could better tell him what she had seen, because he wouldn't find peace before she had told it.
"I was there from the moment you began to verbally attack Brooke and Haley." She bit on her lower lip, waiting for his reaction. "Okay, that's fine." He answered. "Lucas, why did you do it? You don't have to fight with Haley about me. I'm not worth it to risk your friendship with her. You've been friends for so long, I don't want to be the reason that it wouldn't work out." "Peyton. They said horrible things about you and about me. They didn't deserve better then that. And my friendship with you means the world to me Peyton. I won't let them say things about you like that." "But what did they say Luke? And by the way, your friendship with Haley is important to you too, I know that. What did they say do terrible, that you lost control?" Lucas looked away and back to the road. "I don't want to repeat it Peyton. But the most important thing is. We've got each other, and I'll always be there for you and I'll protect you." Peyton's smiled a little. "Thank you Luke." She whispered. "That means to world to me."
Lucas stopped by the parking of the apartments, they stepped out of the car, but they just kept leaning against it. "Why were you there Peyton? It's not my business, but ..." Peyton broke him off. "I went to see Nathan actually. Nathan and I have become closer again after his car accident. We finally begin to appreciate each other as friends. And it's pretty great, us being friends. Now we finally share this 'trust', you know? Everything we hadn't in our relationship back then, we have now, and it feels good. Haley turned Nathan in to the kind of guy I always wanted him to be for me. But I wasn't strong enough to do it. I didn't want to fight that hard to change him, because I thought it was impossible for him to change. But I wasn't meant to do it, it was Haley, they are meant to be together. And my guy is out there, he told me, and I believe him, because he really is a good guy now. And I can trust him now, it's not anymore like it was when we were a couple."
She took a brief pause to breathe before she continued. "But I don't regret our relationship, it was good sometimes you know. In the beginning it was good, he was like my first real boyfriend. And the sex ... the sex it was amazing, it was wow, he knew how to please a woman, it was ..." Peyton saw the look on Lucas face. "Okay, you definitely don't want to hear that part, I guess." She said laughing, Lucas nodded. "Rather not, but if you want to tell about it, if that makes you feel better, than you should do it, than there is nothing that can stop you from doing that." She smiled. "No I'm going to hold that to myself, but thank you for being there for me Lucas, it really means a lot to me." Peyton wrapped his arms around him and wanted to press a soft kiss to his cheek. But Lucas suddenly turned his head a bit and her lips ended up on his. And it all was way too long for just a kiss between friends.
"Ow I'm so sorry Lucas." Peyton said, beginning to freak out. Lucas gently took her hands in his. "It's okay." He said smiling, he hold her close to his body. Wet drops began to fell out of the sky, asking for their attention. "I really think you should get your car now and I'll meet you by your house okay."
It was already evening, Lucas and Peyton were again in Peyton's room. For the second time that day they lay on her bed and listening to the music. It felt good, they both were daydreaming about one another. Imagining how it would be if they were together as a couple. But they didn't know that they had the same ideas on the same time.
"I think you should go to sleep Peyton, you look pale. Are you sure you're not sick?" Lucas asked while he heard her suffer next to him. "It's okay Lucas, just a little tummy ache." She said and crawled closer to him. "Stay with me tonight Lucas. I don't want to be alone. My dad is on a meeting, and he'll hear tonight where is next job is. I don't want to be alone when he tells me Lucas." He smiled. "It's okay Peyton. I'll stay."
It was midnight when Peyton woke up, she felt how Lucas arms were protective wrapped around her. She smiled and inhaled the smell of his hair. And suddenly she had that uncontrollable need to touch him. She didn't now why, but she felt the flames in her heart grow. Her fingers traced along his face, from his eyes to his noise, cheeks... lips. His velvet lips. Her fingertips rested there. He still was asleep, and wouldn't wake up anytime soon. She moved herself so her face was next to his. And then she pressed her lips lightly on his. She moaned and her arms pulled him closer to her. It was great to taste his lips. She wished, someday soon, that she could tell Lucas how she really felt, and hope that he would feel the same as her. That they could share a love so strong and loving and everlasting. Satisfied she closed her eyes and fell asleep again.
It was around 03.55 A.M. Lucas waked up to find out that Peyton wasn't sleeping in his embrace anymore. He was confused and sat up in the bed, and then he saw the light in her bathroom. He stood up and walked over to the door, he saw how Peyton sat before the toilet and how she threw up. Worried Lucas opened the door further and walked over to her. Peyton felt so bad and sick that she didn't notice he was in the same room as her. It was until Lucas bent down next to her and held her hair back with his one hand and rubbed her back with the other. "Sshh." He whispered tosoothe her, but she didn't stop. After some minutes she finally stopped vomiting, Lucas sat next to her and stroked her face. She was so pale, it really worried him. Her body was weak and tired, so Lucas picked her up and brought her to bed.
"Better?" He asked. She nodded. "Just a little dizzy." And Lucas began to think, and he putted every sign of Peyton illness after one another. First she stayed very long in her bathroom, then the tummy ache, now she had to throw up, and she was almost dizzy all the time. And it was now almost two months after they slept together, and he still didn't know if she was on birth control or if they used a condom. It couldn't be, all these signs, it couldn't be, he thought, she couldn't be pregnant.
He looked into Peyton's green eyes. "Can I ask you something?" He asked carefully. "Yeah, what's up Lucas?" She answered, pulling the sheets closer to her. "Are you ...?" He stopped. "What Lucas? Am I what?" He swallowed hard. "Are you pregnant?" And never Lucas had seen so fast someone's health turn around. She jumped out of the bed, her face intense red.
"How do you dare to ask me that? How do you even dare!" She shouted. "I'm so stupid! And I thought you cared about me! But that was a mistake, the only reason you are here with me and being so nice to me, is because you think I'm pregnant with your child!" She shook her head and fought against the bitter tears. "That's not true Peyton, it's ..." Lucas tried to say what his intentions really were. "You fucking bastard! Son of a bitch!" She screamed. "You're just like your dad!" That was the worst accusation he could possibly get, being compared to Dan made that he felt like a knife stabbing into his back. "No." She screamed. "You're even lower than him, you're much lower than Dan Scott, Lucas Scott!" No, this one was the worst he could ever get.
"Get out! Get out!" She yelled, but he didn't move. "Get out Lucas! Get out of MY HOUSE!" Her breath was heavy. "I'm not going Peyton. I didn't mean it like that, I'm just ..." "You're nothing bastard! NOTHING!" She walked over to a cupboard and took something out of it. She turned back to Lucas, an aerosol with the memo PEPPERSPRAY on it was readable. "Peyton, you don't mean it. You're not like this." He tried to soothe her. "So you think I didn't mean it, don't you? Well, watch this!" She pointed the spray to his eyes. "Okay, okay. I'll go. I'll go!" He stepped out of her room and left the house. After him, he heard how she locked every door behind his back.
A half hour later, Lucas still was in his car watching Peyton's bedroom window. The light was still on and he saw her move. He went to the backdoor but she had locked that one too, but that didn't stop him from knocking on it. "Peyton!" He yelled.
"Peyton, come downstairs! I need to talk to you!" But his voice got lost in the air. He kept knocking and yelling but she didn't answer him. Probably she was ignoring him, or her iPod stood way too loud. But than he heard loud music coming from upstairs. He recognized the ending of the song 'It Ends Tonight' of The All-American Rejects and then he heard the intro of their song 'Stab My Back', when lead singer Tyson screamed: "Stab my back, it's better when I bleed for you." Lucas went away, the cutting words still ringing in his ears.
How could he grow so close to her and lose her even more in just one day?