"Beca! We should go on a double date. Me and Bumper, you and Chloe." Is the first thing Fat Amy says, as she realizes that I answered her call.
"Amy... Um. We're not... Dating." I lie, building my walls up.
"That's not what Chloe said..." Amy says over the phone. I can just tell that she was smirking on the other end by the way she says her words.
Wait a second. That's not what Chloe said? Did Chloe tell Amy that we were girlfriends? She more than likely did, with her 'I'm not trying to hide it' response. I wish she would of told me first... Fucking hell. I guess there's no point in hiding it anymore then. Amy knows now, and there's nothing I can do about it. I might as well get this conversation over and done with. She might as well get her damn money now.
"She told you?" I ask.
I hear Amy chuckle first. "I was joking, Chloe didn't tell me anything. You guys are together. Oh. Mah. GOD. Knew it."
I feel my body start to tense up. I feel like I could hit something with my bare hands. I was feeling various emotions at once; Angry, sad, embarrassed, yet also disappointed for some reason.
"Amy. You have to stop doing this." I say, frustrated at the blonde for lying to me.
All I hear is her loud, noxious laugh again over the other end of the phone.
I close my eyes shut, and I can feel them start to get damp.
"Anyway, listen. What the hell happened at rehearsals yesterday? I'm sorry you had to catch a cab home, but you know how Bumper is when he's with his guys. I couldn't exactly leave."
"Nothing happened, it doesn't matter... And yeah, yeah, that's okay." My voice sounded just like Chloe's then, when she's really, really upset about something. I start to feel a single tear roll down my cheek at that moment. I sniffle my nose, and another tear rolls down my face. I can't stop them falling. Fuck.
"Beca? Are you crying? Oh my god, you're crying. Um, think about something cute, like puppies. Do you even think puppies are cute? What do you think is cute?"
I say the one and only thing that comes to my mind. "Chloe..." I couldn't help myself. It was word vomit. I didn't care anymore if Fat Amy knew now or not, or about the stupid bet. I wipe my tears away from my face with my hand, but they just come back again.
"Oh Jesus, this is more serious than I thought. Beca..." Fat Amy sounds... Normal. Her voice actually sounds caring. She wasn't being her silly self - she is serious, and it was actually kind of scary.
"I don't think I've ever heard you cry like this before. Oh, don't worry about the bet either, it's off now, okay, B-dawg? I clearly see that you really have feelings for Chloe, and that there is something serious between you too... I guess I shouldn't of betted on your relationship status, can you forgive your favorite crack whore?"
I clear my throat, hoping for my voice to sound normal again. "I can..."
"Good! Now, the truth. What the fuck happened between you two love birds at rehearsals?" She asks again.
I let myself give in and tell her. "Well, Amy. I'm just this huge jerk, basically. Actually, I think Chloe deserves to be with someone better than m-"
"Stop. Right. There. Mitchell." Fat Amy cuts me off. "You better not be saying what I think you're saying. Chloe is so fucking in love with you. And you clearly love her too. You're Beale and Mitchell, together you're Bitchell. Oh wait, no. Um. You're Beca and Chloe, together you're... Bloe. No wait, fuck. You're Beca and Chloe... Be... Bechloe. That's it. You're Bechloe and I've never seen Chloe look at anyone the way she looks at you. And hell, I've never seen you like this over anyone. You just need to get your shit together, and stop lying and hiding from people, Beca. Like fast. You don't want to lose her, do you?"
Fat Amy was right. I do need to get my shit together. I need to grow a pair of balls. I need to be brave. I just don't know how. I don't want to lose Chloe. The thought of losing her, it would be like losing a part of myself. I don't want these feelings to go away. I don't want these butterflies to leave my body. I don't want the reason why I believe in love, and the reason for my heart to beat, to leave me - just because I'm scared. I don't even want to think about it... But my eyes start to water again at the thought.
"I don't want to lose her, Amy. I can't." I can't, and neither can my heart. My heart has never been this alive before, and it's all because of Chloe. I need to step up my game before I completely lose everything and screw things up even more.
"Good. Because I'm coming over right now to drop you off at Chloe's house, so you can get your shit together." Fat Amy says before the phone call goes dead.
I look at my phone to see that she hung up on me. Wait, was she serious?
Turns out, Fat Amy was more than serious. She literally dragged me out of apartment and into her car, and basically kicked me out when we parked outside the front of the redheads house. She drove off once I got out. I was more than surprised at her actions. Today I have learnt to never, ever, mess with Fat Amy.
And so here I am, in front of Chloe's house. Feeling, and probably looking, like an idiot. I breath in and out a few times before I finally knock on the door in front of me.
"Beca?" Eric answers, looking at me confused.
"Hey... Eric. Um, is Chloe home?" I ask him.
He raises his eyebrows at me first. "She is... I think you better come in."
I walk inside and he closes the door shut behind me.
"Listen, I don't know what's going on, but she won't come out of her room." Chloe's father says, concerned for his daughter.
I feel like my body could crumble at any moment. I didn't realize how much my actions would make Chloe this upset. I feel like such a bad person. I feel like such a bad girlfriend right now.
I stand there awkwardly in front of him. I'm not quite sure what to say to him exactly.
"Um..." I start to say, not really sure where I was going with this.
Eric doesn't say anything back, he just nods his head towards the hallway, where Chloe's room is. I take that as a hint and move my legs towards her room.
I'm now stood in front of my girlfriends closed door. She was on the other side of the room, and I couldn't get myself to knock or even move the handle. What if she doesn't want to talk to me? What if she doesn't want to see me? What if she... Doesn't want to be with me anymore? No. I can't think like this.
I move my hand up, and lightly knock twice on the door in front of me. "C-Chloe? It's Beca. Can I come in?"
"Mm hm." Is all I hear back.
I turn the handle and open the door to let myself in. Chloe is lying on her side, on her bed with her back facing me. I start to feel guilt grow inside of me. I can't believe I was making her like this. I open my mouth to say something, but she stops me before I can say anything.
"I've been listening to this song. It reminds me of you." Chloe says as she throws her phone behind her, landing on the bed in front of me.
I hear the music start to play and I listen to the lyrics, while I stare at the back of Chloe's head.
"You were so scared,
I remember your face like it was yesterday.
It might have been better for me...
You begged me to run,
and I said fuck you,
I'll love you til I die, if it kills me honey, honey..."
I move myself closer to the bed, to where the music continues to play from.
"And I can feel it coming up inside me,
All the hate and all the love.
All of everything it was...
And all I know is I want you.
And all I know is I need you.
And all I know is I love you."
I move my hand to Chloe's phone. I pause the music with my fingers and exist the app it was playing from. I then see her screensaver - a photo of two very red roses inside a vase which looked very familiar. It hit me then, it was the two roses from our table that night I took Chloe out for dinner. My heart starts to beat fast at the fact it was her screensaver. She must of taken a photo of them while I went and paid for our meal. I start to smile to myself.
Chloe sits up and turns around to look at me, her face a shade of red now. I can tell by her eyes that she was still upset about it, and that starts to hurt me even more.
We both go to say something, but I let her go first.
"I should of realized that maybe you aren't as comfortable with telling people about your sexuality. I guess I over reacted with the whole hand thing. I just got upset, okay? I was just being stupid. I'm really sorry, Beca. I won't touch you in public again."
I sit down on her bed and look at her. She was so beautiful, and shouldn't have to be apologizing when I'm the one causing this mess to begin with. Her words made me feel like a monster, mainly because I am one. I feel my emotions start to bundle up inside me, and I try my hardest not to let the tears escape from my eyes in front of her.
"Don't..." I start to say. My voice is shaky. I sound like I could burst into tears any second. I clear my throat before speaking again.
"Don't say that, you aren't stupid. And don't apologize, okay? It's me... I'm like, this crack in the sidewalk, while you're this fucking masterpiece of street art. Believe me, I'm angry at myself right now. I should of let you hold my hand." I start to rub my eyes then with both my hands, hoping these tears won't fall.
I then hear Chloe chuckle as she stares at me. I look back at her in confusion.
"I'm not laughing at what you said, it's just... You look like a panda right now." Chloe says as she covers her mouth with her hand, stopping her from giggling.
I look down at my hands to see my eyeliner smudged all over my fingers. I can only imagine what my eyes look like right now... At least it made Chloe laugh.
"I probably look a mess." I say.
"You don't. But, you can take a shower here if you want. I was going to take one earlier actually, but you can go first."
"Okay, yeah. Thanks."
Chloe walks over to her walk in bathroom robe, and I follow close behind her. She walks over to the sink and picks something up with her hands. She turns around and hands me a packet of make up removal wipes.
"Here, you might need these." She says with a laugh again, and then walks off away from me. I remove a wipe from the packet, and start to remove my eye makeup as I look at myself in the mirror. She lied. I did look a mess.
Chloe is back in an instant, this time with a towel in her hand. I turn around and she hands me it.
"Thanks." I say to her.
"That's okay." Chloe says back, showing only a small smile on her face.
"Well, I'll leave you to it, then..." Chloe now walks out of the room, leaving me alone. I move the door almost all the way shut behind her, only leaving it open by an inch.
I walk over towards the shower cubical now, and open the door. I pull out the shower handle and adjust the temperature to the way I want it.
I turn around and see myself in the mirror. I look down at my wrist to see a hair tie which I use as a bracelet. I pull it off my wrist, and end up tying my hair into a loose bun on top of my head. I turn myself away from the mirror, and start to get undressed, starting with my shirt.
I'm fully undressed now, leaving my clothes lying on the floor. I move into the shower and close the cubical door behind me. I close my eyes and let the water run down my naked body. I stay like this for a few silent minutes, just letting the water continue to drip down me.
More minutes pass, and out of no where, I hear the cubical door being opened. I open my eyes to see Chloe. Her hair is in a loose bun also, and she is... Naked. Oh my god. She is naked. What was she doing?! I try my best not to look down at her bare body, even though my eyes want to. I quickly cover my exposed breasts with my arm and cover my lower center with my hand, and turn myself around from her so she can't see either.
"What-" I start to say.
"You were taking too long." Chloe says, with a casual expression on her face, like it was no big deal to her.
I turn my head around to look at her, and her face is casual. She moves her naked body closer to mine then. She places one hand on my bare shoulder, as she reaches for the soap right in front of me with the other. I'm starting to freak out now. I can't swallow properly. I turn my head back to face the wall. I'm scared to where my eyes will wonder if I turn to face her again. I've never seen her naked, nor has she, and I'm starting to feel real self conscious about myself. We are both naked. In the shower. And we were so close to each other. Okay, sure, she has seen all of my stomach and nearly my breasts when we shared our first kiss, but this is different. I am fully naked right now. She is fully naked right now. Oh my god. I have to stop my thoughts. I start to move my way out of the shower, ignoring to look at her body, and face for that matter.
"Where are you going?" Chloe says, her voice almost sad that I was leaving.
"I'm-I'm done anyway." I quickly lie.
"Oh. Okay."
I open the door and quickly wrap a towel around my wet body. I pick up my clothes from the floor and make my way to the door, but my eyes can't help but wonder to the shower. I see Chloe's blurry, naked body in the shower cuticle glass and I automatically bite my lip at her fit frame. God, she was beautiful. I see her head look over in my direction, and I quickly look away and move myself out the door and close it shut behind me.
While Chloe is still in the shower, I dry my body with the towel and get dressed in her room.
I now sit at the end of her bed, fully dressed, holding onto the towel while I wait for her to come out. I wish I wasn't so self conscious about things. I wish I could be like Chloe sometimes - not afraid. I know deep down, that she's still upset with me, I would be too. I need to be a better girlfriend, or just a better person in general, I just don't know how to do it. I really want to try for Chloe, because she deserves only the best - and I want to give her the best of me.
I hear the shower being turned off, and I continue to wait for her in silence.
A few minutes pass, and Chloe opens the door. Her hair is still in a bun, and she has a towel wrapped around her body now - she still looking beautiful as ever. I give her a shy smile, and look down away from her.
Chloe closes the door behind her, then leans her back onto it.
"That's not true what you said, by the way. You're not a crack in the sidewalk. You're every single piece of art in this entire world."
I look into Chloe's eyes to see her face was serious, though I didn't believe her.
"Chloe..." I start to say, shaking my head.
"It's true, Beca."
"But... You're still upset, aren't you? That I didn't hold your hand?" I say, hurting myself, and her again.
"I'll get over it." Chloe shrugs her shoulders.
"I honestly don't mean to hurt you, Chloe." I start to say. "I don't do it intentionally. It's just... I'm not used to love. I'm not used to any of this, and I'm sorry. It hurts me to know that I've made you upset, no matter how little it may be. And so, if you let me, and forgive me. I... I want to take you out. Like, on a date... In front of people." It was probably word vomit that made me say those exact words, but I needed to do something. I needed Chloe. I don't want to mess this up, and end up losing her. I have to try... For her.
"You don't have to, if you're not comfortable with it." She says, looking away from my eyes now.
"Please. I want to." I say.
Chloe continues to look down, away from my eyes. She's silent, and it's starts to get to me. I'll beg for this, if I have to. I want her to say yes more than anything.
"Please, Chloe. Could you forgive me? Will you go on a date with me?" I say again, hoping for a response this time from the beautiful women in front of me.
Chloe finally looks up at me, with her beautiful blue eyes, and I'm already lost for words. I then watch as she opens the bathroom door behind her. "Yes, I will." She says, before she walks back in and closes the door behind her.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any lyrics/songs mentioned in this fic. All rights to the owners.
Songs mentioned:
1. You Were So Scared by On An On.
Woo woo, Bitchell I mean Bechloe date next chapterrrr. ;)
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