It's a…

Jo sat on the exam table impatiently waiting for Dr. Kross. They had been told he was at the hospital delivering a baby but should be back shortly. She fidgeted on the hard table. At least he wasn't doing a pelvic exam this time so she didn't have to wear that horrible paper gown, she thought with relief. They were supposed to learn the sex of the baby today and she couldn't wait. She looked at her watch again; the doctor was fifteen minutes late. "I'm hungry," she whined.

Alex looked over in surprise, "We just ate like an hour ago."

"I don't care when we ate, I'm hungry again," she pouted.

He chuckled, "Yeah, you have been eating a lot lately." Jo glared at him and smacked him on the shoulder just as the door opened and Dr. Kross walked in. His bright smile faded a little at the scene.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting?" the doctor cleared his throat.

Jo giggled with a blush, "No, my boyfriend was just calling me a pig, that's all."

"Ah… so I take it you have your appetite back?"

She nodded and Alex added, "And then some," earning him another slap on the arm.

The older man laughed at their antics and picked up Jo's chart. "Your weight and vital signs all look good. Your bloodwork we took last time came back normal and it sounds like the morning sickness is no longer a problem. Have you been taking your vitamins?"

"Yes, at night like you suggested. When I take them at night they don't seem to bother me as much," Jo answered dutifully.

"Good, good. Have you been having any problems at all?" Dr. Kross asked as he helped her lay back and pushed around on her stomach before producing a tape measure and measuring her abdomen.

"No, I don't think so," she replied unsure glancing over at Alex who just shrugged.

Kross made a note in her chart and looked back at her, "No vaginal bleeding? Not leaking any fluid? No cramping?" he clarified.

She shook her head confident this time, "Nope, no problems."
"Great. Your uterus feels good and you are measuring right on track. Have you felt any movement yet?"

Jo beamed and laid her hand on her belly, "Yes, for a few days now."

The doctor made another note in her chart and then rolled the ultrasound machine over. "So are we finding out the gender?" he asked looking between the parents.

"Yes!" they both answered excitedly.

Dr. Kross squirted the cold gel on Jo's stomach and began to move the wand around. He pointed out the heartbeat, the brain and the spine, got a good look at the face, "Aww," Jo cooed as the baby brought its thumb up to its mouth, and then he positioned the wand to see between the baby's legs.

"And we have a little boy," he pointed out the features.

"A boy!" Jo gasped looking at Alex who was grinning from ear to ear. He squeezed her hand and kissed her lips. "We are having a son." A few happy tears fell from her eyes.

The doctor finished up the ultrasound and printed them off some pictures. Alex wiped the sticky gel off Jo's abdomen and helped her sit up. "Everything looks good. The baby is developing normally. So if you don't have any questions, I will see you again in four weeks."

The young couple agreed and thanked the doctor. On the way home they stopped and got Jo a burger and fries and then she made Alex stop at the grocery store for salsa because, "I just need something spicy." She smothered her burger in salsa and dipped her fries in it, eating with a satisfied smile on her face.

A couple of weeks passed and Jo was at work at the bookstore. It was a slow day; she was trying to keep busy straightening shelves. She looked up ready to greet the customer when the bells over the door jingled. Instead she let out a little squeal of delight when she saw Lizzie and Shae come through the door. She hurried over to hug them. She hadn't seen the twins for weeks; first they had gone on vacation with their family and then they had gone to summer camp.

"I haven't seen you in forever!" Jo exclaimed.

"Tell me about it. Look at you," Lizzie responded rubbing Jo's baby bump.

"I know; I'm getting big, huh?"

"No, but you actually look pregnant now," Shae jumped in.

The girls went over to a sitting area in the store to catch up. There were no other customers in the store and Jo could take her afternoon break. The twins talked about their vacation and showed Jo some pictures. Then they told her all about the camp they had been to, a camp Jo herself had planned to attend before she got pregnant and her whole life changed.

"What about you? How is your summer going?" Lizzie asked.

"Oh you know, just working, eating, and getting fat," she mumbled with a short laugh as she pulled her snack out of her bag.

"You are so not fat. You look cute," Lizzie insisted. Jo just shook her head reaching up to push a strand of hair behind her ear. As she did, the other girl caught sight of her ring. "Wait," she grabbed Jo's hand, "did you guys… are you married?" she gazed at her friend stunned.

"No, we aren't yet, but I told you we were getting married, you knew that," Jo answered her back.

"Well yeah, but I thought we would be there, or at least you would have told us when it happened. You weren't wearing a ring before."

Jo shook her head, "I met Alex's mother. She thought I should have a ring so she gave us this one. I've been wearing it ever since," she explained. The twins nodded their understanding.

"So when are you getting married?" Shae asked. The other girl never talked about her wedding plans.

Jo shrugged, "I don't know. We never talk about it. I mean we tell people we are getting married but not to each other. We never mention it. When I told Alex I was pregnant he came up with it as a way to live together in campus housing. He has a scholarship so we wouldn't have that expense, but since then nothing. I don't… I don't know what he's thinking," she looked at her best friends with a touch of anxiety in her eyes.

"Oh, Jo," Shae said quietly moving over to sit by her and placing a comforting arm around her shoulders. "You have to talk to him. You can't just keep quiet and wondering. You can't have a relationship without communication."

"I know," she sighed leaning on her friend for support. "I'm just scared. Scared he doesn't want to marry me anymore… or scared that he does… I'm not sure."

"Wait a minute, you don't want to marry him?" Shae looked questioningly into Jo's eyes.

"Yeah, I do, I think… I'm just scared… about everything you know? And Alex, he seems so sure. He always has the answer. I don't want him to know how much I'm freaking out," she was on the verge of tears. She didn't mean to unload on them but she hadn't had anyone to talk to in so long.

"I know," Shae soothed, "but you have to talk to him. He needs to know. He needs to know you are scared."

"And Jo," Lizzie looked at her compassionately, "you can't marry him just for convenience. You have to really want to. You don't have to get married just because you're having a baby together."

"I know," Jo sniffled, "I love him. I really do. And I can't imagine not being with him or being with anyone else. It's just when I think about it… being someone's wife, someone's mother… it's so overwhelming. It's too much."

"Girl, I wish I could help you," Lizzie said sympathetically while Shae nodded her agreement.

"Thanks, I'll figure it out. It helps just to talk," she replied wiping away the few tears that had escaped.

"Talk to Alex," Shae admonished with a final squeeze.

The twins gave Jo some time to compose herself before speaking up again. "So part of the reason we came, besides just to see you, was because we want to give you a baby shower," Lizzie explained watching Jo closely to make sure she was up to the conversation.

"Okay…" she said with a small smile, "I don't really know who you would invite?"

"Well, there would be us, of course, and our mom. Does anyone else from school know you are pregnant? Or is there anyone else there you would want to come?" Shae asked. Jo shook her head; she didn't have many friends. "Okay, what about your boss here? You like her, and Alex's mom," Shae suggested.

"Alex's mom can't," Jo shot down not willing to give any more details, "but maybe Janet, I guess, and Terri maybe. She was Alex's foster mom," Jo explained.

Shae nodded making a note. She exchanged a look with Lizzie sure Jo had never mentioned Alex had been in foster care too. "And what about Ellen?" Lizzie asked hesitantly.

"No," Jo shook her head adamantly, "She won't want to come and Curtis wouldn't let her anyway."

"So it will be a small party, that's okay. We really want to do this for you Jo. We love you and want to help you out any way we can."

"Thanks," Jo smiled. "When were you thinking?"

"That depends on you. Our days are pretty much free now," Shae answered.

"Well, I'm off next Wednesday, if that gives you enough time, or any Sunday."

They decided they would have the shower on Sunday afternoon, July 25th at Lizzie and Shae's house. "Any special requests for snacks?" Shae asked writing the plans down in her notebook.

"Anything spicy," Jo said with a smirk. "I crave spicy food all the time." The twins laughed at that. They gathered up their stuff and headed for the door to let Jo get back to work just as a customer was entering the store.

Jo started to bring up her fears to Alex that evening as they ate supper, but clamped her mouth shut. They had a good thing going, she thought, and she didn't want to rock the boat. She didn't want to upset him by bringing up marriage if he had changed his mind. She was fine to keep doing what they were doing. She didn't want to push him and drive him away. If he was happy, so was she.

The afternoon of Jo's baby shower, Alex dropped her off at the twin's house. She kissed him goodbye and reminded him Shae and Lizzie would bring her home, and she didn't know how long she would be.

Everyone they had talked about inviting was there as was a selection of spicy treats along with blue frosted cupcakes. Jo was the last to arrive and greeted everyone; she was touched that these women would take time out of their Sunday afternoon for her. The older women of the group filled out notecards with advice for the new mother. The ladies enjoyed snacks and conversation before Jo opened her gifts.

"We didn't plan any games…" Lizzie started.

"Oh my gosh! Thank you!" Jo exclaimed with wide eyes making all the women laugh. She was not one for cheesy party games.

She opened her gift from Shae first, it was clothes and a baby name book. They all ooed and ahhed over the tiny adorable outfits. Next came blankets, pacifiers, and bibs from Lizzie. "I don't know if he will use the pacifiers," Jo commented, "he already sucks his thumb." She took out the picture from her last ultrasound passing it around setting off another chorus of oos and ahhs. The twin's mother had given her sleepers, a hooded towel, a bath kit with shampoo body wash and lotion, a grooming kit and a first aid kit. Janet's gift was diapers, wipes and bottles and finally Terri gave Jo a car seat.

By the time she got done opening all the presents Jo's eyes were filled with tears of gratitude. "I cannot thank you all enough," she choked out, "it means so much to me that you all did this for me." She looked at all the things her friends had given her baby boy and she was overwhelmed. He needed so much and until today she didn't even know where to start.

As the shower was winding down, Jo sat talking with Shae and Lizzie. Shae gently put her hand on Jo's arm and asked, "How did it go with Alex?"

Jo looked down and pink tinged her cheeks, "Well actually… I haven't talked to him about it yet," she admitted.

"Jo," Shae chided.

"We are good right now just how we are, I don't want to mess that up," Jo explained.

"But Jo, you have to tell him you're scared. You guys have to work through it."

"No, we're good. I can't right now. I don't want to push him away."

"How do you know you will push him away? Give him a chance, Jo, you have to talk to him and let him know how you are feeling. You can't keep it bottled up inside," Lizzie advised.

Jo knew they were right and knew she needed to tell Alex her fears and feelings and find out what he was feeling, but she was scared to bring it up. What if he didn't want the same thing anymore? She didn't want him to stay out of obligation. What if as the idea of college drew closer he wanted to distance himself from her? What if he didn't want to be saddled with a wife and baby at this time in his life? She shook the thoughts away. She couldn't do this now she felt like she was drowning in them.

She ended up riding home with Terri, since they were going the same place anyway. They pulled up to the house and Jo didn't see Alex's truck. "I wonder where Alex is?" she commented aloud. He hadn't said anything about going out.

Terri helped Jo bring her presents in and then climbed the stairs to her own home. Jo made her way into the bedroom where Alex was sprawled out on the bed asleep. She sat down next to him, rubbed his chest and gave him a peck on the lips. His eyes flew open. "I'm home," she stated simply, kicking off her shoes.

"Hi, how was it?" he said his voice rough with sleep.

"Alex, where's your truck?" she asked him ignoring his question to her.

He sat up quickly with wide eyes, "What do you mean?!"

She looked at him worried, "It's not outside. What happened? Where is it?"

He laughed at her expression, "You know how I've been fixing it up?" She nodded. Every Sunday when he was off work he had been tinkering with the truck; he had gotten it looking really good. "Well, I was getting it ready to sell. Had to fix it up so I could get a decent price for it. I bought that car that is out there."

"But why?" she asked confused. She knew he hated his father, or at least told himself he did, but his truck meant something to him.

"Really, Jo?" he answered with a chuckle in his voice. "We can't drive our little guy around in that truck. It's not safe. We need something more practical."

"But Alex…"

He shook his head, "It had to be done. We needed a better vehicle, something more baby friendly." She guessed he was right. "So what did ya get?" Alex dropped the subject wandering into the other room to peruse her gifts. She followed him. "Wow, that's quite a bit of stuff," he marveled.

"Yeah and just the beginning of all we will need," she said. He nodded in agreement realizing how much they still needed.

"Alex…" Jo started. She decided now was the time to talk to him. She didn't want to put it off any longer.

"Yeah?" he asked picking up the baby name book. "What's this?" he picked up a card that had fallen out. Jo took it out of his hands and opened it. Tucked inside the card was a check for three hundred dollars. "Wow," Alex breathed looking over her shoulder. The card was signed simply, Ellen. Jo looked at Alex in shock; she hadn't expected that at all. She was speechless, but she knew one thing for sure, there was no way Curtis knew about that.

After a few moments of silence, Alex seemed to remember something, "What were you going to say? Before the card?"

"Oh… um… I don't remember, nothing important," she had lost her nerve.

"Okay," he pulled her down on the couch next to him and started flipping through the book he still held in his hand trying out names here and there.

Instead of having the important conversation they needed to have, Jo buried her feelings again, and they spent the evening looking through the new baby name book marking the names they liked.