Showdown

Part 14

Rusty's words hit Jing-Mei like a brick wall. However, the more Rusty kept yelling, the harder he would grab her. She knew something was bothering him and he was definitely scared, so she wouldn't let what he said bother her. She held the crying boy until he calmed down.

Jing-Mei: Rusty, what happened? Did you have another nightmare?

With terror on his face, Rusty nodded. Jing-Mei picked the child up and carried him into the dining room. She sat him at the table while she made him some hot cocoa, hoping that would help. When she returned from the kitchen with the cocoa, Rusty was still shaken. He wiped his face with a tissue but she could see that nightmare had really upset him. She put the cup down and sat next to him.

Jing-Mei: There you go, sweetheart. Now, tell me what's wrong?

Rusty takes a sip of the cocoa, swallows and then looks at Jing-Mei.

Rusty: I dreamed I went back home to Italy, and mama was waiting there for me. I ran to her and as I was ready to put my arms around her, she disappeared and I was all alone. No one else around and then these bad men were chasing me. I keep hearing mama tell me to run but I don't see her. I yell for her but she doesn't come to help.

Jing-Mei: It was just a dream and I hope you know that we'd never let anything happen to you.

Rusty looked at her, smiled, then went back to drinking his cocoa and the two of them sat in silence until Rusty was finished and Jing-Mei took him into her bedroom and laid him on Dave's side of the bed.

Jing-Mei: Now, if you have that dream again, you just tug at my arm and I'll save you, okay.

Rusty: OK. Goodnight.

Jing-Mei: Goodnight, baby.

Jing-Mei laid back down and tried to go back to sleep still annoyed about what Rusty said when he woke up and the fact that he hasn't called her Mama Jing since the incident.

The next morning, Jing-Mei was at the kitchen table when Mrs. Peterson came in with Antonio in her arms. She put him in his high-chair and started making his cereal.

Jing-Mei: Good morning, you two.

Jing-Mei leaned across the table to give her youngest son a kiss.

Mrs. Peterson: Good morning. If you don't mind me saying so, you don't look too good. Rough night?

Jing-Mei: You can say that. I was up half of it with Rusty.

Mrs. Peterson: Speaking of which, I went in his room to wake him up for school and he wasn't there. I guessed he was in the bathroom, but when I knocked he didn't answer and I didn't just want to walk in on him.

Jing-Mei: He's in my room. Been there all night. He had a bad dream last night and I took him in once he calmed down. I figured it was the only way either of us would get any sleep.

Mrs. Peterson: Well, he's still asleep so it must have worked.

Jing-Mei: I suppose so.

Mrs. Peterson sets Antonio's cereal down in front of him, feeds the dogs and then sits herself next to her friend.

Mrs. Peterson: Something else is wrong. Is it Dr. Dave? Did he have a relapse?

Jing-Mei: No, Dave is doing as well as to be expected. He's having his surgery today...

Mrs. Peterson: That's right. I'm praying that everything goes alright for the boy. He doesn't need anymore bad luck.

Jing-Mei: Yeah, I want Dave to get better soon too. That's what we all want..

Mrs. Peterson: This isn't about Dr. Dave, is it. It's something else.

Jing-Mei: You're right. It's not Dave, this time, it's Rusty.

Mrs. Peterson: I'm telling you if it's not one of those boys upsetting you, it's the other. You really got your hands full. What's up with Rusty?

Jing-Mei: The nightmare last night.

Mrs. Peterson: Oh, and he hasn't had one in awhile. Is he okay?

Jing-Mei: Yeah, I think so. It's just...what he said.

Mrs. Peterson: About his nightmare?

Jing-Mei: He told me what it was about, but that's not what's bothering me.

Mrs. Peterson: I don't think I understand.

Jing-Mei: He woke up screaming that he wanted his mama. I held him and let him know that I was here for him, then he said...

Mrs. Peterson: What? What did he say?

Jing-Mei: He said that he wanted his real mama, not me.

Mrs. Peterson: Ouch!

Jing-Mei: Yeah, exactly. But I can't blame him. Jada was in his nightmare and I guess she's been on his mind lately since...

Jing-Mei hesitates and takes a sip of coffee before proceeding.

Jing-Mei: ...in the next two weeks it will be the anniversary of her death and he feels it.

Mrs. Peterson: I hope you aren't offended by what he said. Poor kid. He's had such a tough life at an early age.

Jing-Mei: He doesn't deserve any of this trouble he's going through. None of us do.

Hearing footsteps nearing, Jing-Mei and Mrs. Peterson lower their voices until they stop talking altogether. In the doorway of the dining room stood, Rusty, wiping the sleep out of his eyes.

Rusty: I sleep late.

Mrs. Peterson: Yes you did, young man. Now, come sit and have your breakfast while I run your bath. You're going to be late for school.

Jing-Mei thinks for a moment and then interrupts the nanny.

Jing-Mei: No, wait. I think I'm going to let you stay home today.

Rusty's eyes opened-wide and then a confused look appeared on his face.

Rusty: I'm not going school.

Jing-Mei: No. It'll be alright as long as you do some of your schoolwork later on.

Rusty nodded excited and promised to hit the books.

Mrs. Peterson: Are you sure about this, Dr. Chen?

Jing-Mei: Yeah, he didn't get much sleep last night and he would probably wind up falling asleep in class and getting into trouble. (pause) Come here, Rusty.

Rusty sat down at the table as Mrs. Peterson put his cereal down in front of him. He grabbed the spoon and started eating immediately. Jing-Mei stared at him while he ate, making the boy uncomfortable.

Rusty: Did I do something bad?

Jing-Mei: No, but don't you think we should talk about last night?

Rusty's eyes dropped and he stared into his cereal bowl. He continued to eat without looking back up at Jing-Mei. She took him by the chin and turned his head so that their eyes met.

Rusty: Don't know what mean. What about last night?

Jing-Mei: Your nightmare about your mama...your real mama.

Rusty: Oh.

He went back to eating, trying his best to ignore the painful subject that Jing-Mei was breaching.

Rusty: Sorry. I didn't mean that...you know, what I said. You are my mama, too. I just...

Jing-Mei: ...just miss your mama. It's alright, baby. I'm not mad at you. I could never be. It's perfectly understandable how you feel. It's almost been a whole year since she left you and you miss her. I know you were upset. I just want you to know that you do have a family here and we will never leave you...ever. We will always be with you. If not in the physical world, in the spiritual one...just like your mama is now, looking over you. We will be in your heart forever and you in ours. I don't want you ever to feel alone. Okay, and if you ever want or need to talk we are here for you. Even your papa. Granted he's not much of a talker...anymore...but he's a hell of a good listener. Don't ever be afraid of asking us something or coming to us if you have a question or problem.

Jing-Mei looks at her watch and gets up from the table.

Jing-Mei: I've got to get going. I want to try to see Dave before he goes into surgery. Rusty, finish your breakfast and if you want to get more sleep that's fine but remember our deal about the schoolwork.

She kisses both boys goodbye and heads out the door when she is abruptly stopped.

Rusty: Why she go away?

Jing-Mei turned around, baffled by the little boy's question.

Jing-Mei: I'm didn't go anywhere yet. I'm still here.

Rusty: Not you. My mama. You said I can ask you anything.

Jing-Mei: You can.

Rusty: Then why did mama go way. (starting to cry) Didn't she want to be my mama anymore? She go away because I bad.

A lump grew in her throat and she ran back to the sobbing pre-teen and hugged him.

Jing-Mei: No, no baby. You weren't bad. Your mama didn't leave you because you did anything wrong...

Rusty: 'Tonio good boy and you still here. Papa and me bad boys 'cause our mamas left us.

Jing-Mei: Rusty, that's not how death works. You're mama she didn't want to leave you and it's not your fault.

Rusty: Why mama die then? How did she die?

She looked up at Mrs. Peterson and the lump that had finally disappeared from her throat, returned quickly. She continues to hold the child until he calms down. She strokes his head and tries to soothe him.

Jing-Mei: Baby, I have to get to the hospital now and see your papa, but I promise that when I come home we will sit down and have a long talk about this. Okay?

Rusty: Alright.

Jing-Mei: Is it cool if I leave now, or do you need me to stay?

Rusty: No, I'm big boy. I'm fine. Tell papa that I love him.

Jing-Mei nods then stands up from her kneeling position. Mrs. Peterson puts her hand on the distraught doctor's shoulder.

Mrs. Peterson: You go be with Dr. Dave. I'll look after him.

Jing-Mei: If you need me, page me.

Jing-Mei turns to walk out again when she is once again stopped.

Rusty: I love you, too...Mama Jing.

The sound of Rusty calling her Mama Jing again, cheered her right up. Wanting to go back and give him another hug, but knowing that if she did she would never leave she settled on a simple, I love you back as she walked out the door.

Just outside the door, Jing-Mei stopped long enough to wipe the tears from her eyes. Unlike last night, these tears were tears of happiness, not sadness. She maintained herself and headed for work being sure not to cry in front of Dave and giving him the wrong idea about his surgery.

Jing-Mei arrived at the ER and quickly glanced at her schedule. Mark walked up behind her.

Mark: You're early...way early. You're not in for another two hours.

Jing-Mei: I know. I was just double-checking. I want to go up and spend some time with Dave before surgery.

Mark: He's having more surgery today?!

Jing-Mei: Yeah, on his legs.

Mark: So, what are they going to do to him now?

Jing-Mei: When he was first brought in here after his attack, his legs were shattered, tendons ripped, ligaments torn.

Mark: I remember that.

Jing-Mei: Who could forget. I know I never will. Anyway, they implanted numerous plates, pins and screws in both legs and his arms to hold everything together. Well, his orthopedist seems to think that his lack of movement may be caused by the plates tightening up on him over the past eighteen months. He wants to get in there and reposition them and loosen Dave's joints up a bit. He feels that may help with his physical therapy.

Mark: Sounds reasonable. Is Dave okay to go under the knife again, so soon after having heart surgery.

Jing-Mei: Dr. Casin examined Dave and even got a second opinion. They feel that Dave will not have any trouble being operated on again. Of course, there is always a risk in surgery, especially with Dave's fragile condition, but he's a strong boy. He'll be fine.

Mark: Strong, that he is. I just hope his heart is as strong. Please wish Malucci good luck from me.

Jing-Mei: I will.

They part and Jing-Mei heads upstairs and into Dave's room just in time to see the orderlies preparing to wheel him out.

Jing-Mei: Can I have a moment with him?

Orderly: Sure, but not too long. Dr. Hardy is expecting him up there soon. He's been sedated so I don't know how responsive he's going to be.

Jing-Mei: That's alright. I'm use to it.

Jing-Mei bends down and strokes Dave's head.

Jing-Mei(whispering into his ear): Dave, baby. It's me....Chen.

Dave's eyes flutter open and he sees a blurred image of his wife and smiles as he forces to hold his drooping eyes open.

Jing-Mei: It's okay. You just lay there and relax and when you wake up again, I'll be right here. I love you.

Dave, who was too far under the sedation, couldn't get enough strength to speak mouthed back at her, I love you, Chin too.

His eyes went shut and stayed shut as the sedative took full effect. She kissed him then stood back as the orderlies wheeled him out the door. As he left the room she yelled behind him.

Jing-Mei: Good Luck, Baby!!!

She looked at her watch and knowing that she would indeed be early for her shift she decided to stop by and see Dr. Legaspi.

She entered the psychiatrist's office and Dr. Legaspi, who was on the phone at the time, waved her over. She took a seat and waited patiently for the doctor to finish her phone call. After several minutes, she hung up and then turned to face Jing-Mei.

Dr. Legaspi: So, how are you today, Dr. Chen?

Jing-Mei: I'm fine. Dave just went into surgery.

Dr. Legaspi: I know. I was asked to consult on his mental ability to undergo the operation.

Jing-Mei: And you said, what?

Dr. Legaspi: That I feel he is mentally stable to have the surgery. Did you want to set up another session with Dave when he's well again?

Jing-Mei: Do you think it's necessary?

Dr. Legaspi: To be honest with you, I think, in my professional opinion, that we have gone as far as we can with getting Dave to remember his kidnapping under hypnosis. He's just going to have to begin remembering on his own. I will try again if that's what you want and I will still speak to him about his past.

Jing-Mei: Thank you and I appreciate that. However, I didn't come here today to talk to you about Dave.

Dr. Legaspi: No. Is it about yourself?

Jing-Mei: In a way. Actually, it's about my oldest boy, Rusty.

Dr. Legaspi: Is he having a rough time with Dave being so sick?

Jing-Mei: Yeah, but that's not it. Last night, he had a nightmare. His first one in a long time. It was about his mother.

Dr. Legaspi: What about his mother?

Jing-Mei: She died a violent death. (pause) She was shot by the same people who hurt Dave.

Dr. Legaspi: I see. What happened in the dream?

Jing-Mei: He said he was running towards her and then she vanished and he was all alone.

Dr. Legaspi: He could be scared by Dave's illness. He's already lost one parent and is afraid of losing the other. It's on his mind subconsciously and that's why he had the dream. That's not unusual in small children. Was Dave in the dream?

Jing-Mei: No, that's why I don't think this has anything to do with Dave. Maybe a little, but I think the real problem is that in a couple of weeks will be the one year anniversary of Jada's death and he feels it. Just like he feels that she didn't just die naturally, that there was more to it. In the dream, he mentioned that he was being chased by bad men after his mama vanished.

Dr. Legaspi: Has he shown any strange behavior lately?

Jing-Mei: He's Dave's son. Strange behavior is inherited. Can you be a little more specific?

Dr. Legaspi: Fussy, acting out, bedwetting.

Jing-Mei: No. Should I be on the lookout for these things?

Dr. Legaspi: Keep your eyes open for them. I'm not saying that there is a real problem here, just a small boy coming to grip his mother's death is all, but there could be something else going on there.

Jing-Mei: There's something else I haven't told you. When Rusty woke up, he yelled for him mama and I held him and told him I was here but he pushed me away and said he didn't want me, he wanted his REAL mama. He was upset about the nightmare and confused and he did apologize about it this morning...but,

Dr. Legaspi: You don't think he accepts you fully as his new mama, right.

Jing-Mei: That's part of it, but...(pause)Dr. Legaspi, could a new baby produce that response out of him.

Dr. Legaspi: Certainly. I'm assuming that your son now and the new baby are both yours and Dave's natural children.

Jing-Mei: That's right.

Dr. Legaspi: Maybe, Rusty feels left out because he isn't your biological son and he thinks that you'll love the younger children, your own kids, more than him.

Jing-Mei: Rusty knows better than that. I tell him all the time that we love him. I shower him with hugs and kisses everyday.

Dr. Legaspi: I know that Rusty knows you love him but kids, they get the strangest ideas in their heads and can be so jealous especially of their siblings. Give him some time. He'll work it out on his own.

Jing-Mei: One more thing. This morning Rusty asked me why his mama died and how. I don't want to have to tell him the horrid circumstances behind her death. He's still so young for that.

Dr. Legaspi: If he's asking, he's old enough to be told the truth. He may have already put some of the details together in his mind and needs you to tell him and confirm what he already suspects. Just be gentle with him. If he asks you something, be straight but compassionate. Don't try to hide anything from him. Give him reassurance that he is loved and safe. If he wants to show emotion, like anger or tears, let him. The longer he holds back his feelings, the harder it's going to be for him to accept the tragedy of his mother's death.

Jing-Mei: Is there anyway you could speak with him if I bring him here?

Dr. Legaspi: I'm not really trained as a child psychiatrist, but I can give you the name of one?

Jing-Mei: Thank you, I'd like that. Oh, incidentally I had better run. Dr. Vasquez gave me the name and number of a language and speech therapist that I could get to work with Dave during his recovery.

Dr. Legaspi scribbles down the information that Jing-Mei requested and hands it to her. She heads to the nearest phone and dials the number on the paper given to her by Dr. Vasquez.

Midway through her shift, Jing-Mei was notified that Dave was out of surgery and in recovery. After she signed out for the day, she would go up and see him. She signed her final discharge paper and as others stood by, she ran out of the ER, and she bumped into Dr. Hardy, Dave's orthopedic surgeon.

Jing-Mei: I was just on my way up to see Dave. How is he?

Dr. Hardy: There's good news and bad news. The good news is he made it through the surgery without any problems...

Kerry: The bad news...

Dr. Hardy: Originally, I thought I would just open his legs up and readjust some of the plates and pins so they wouldn't be so tight.

Luka: That's not what you did?

Dr. Hardy: Yes, but, afterwards I had to re-break his legs and set them again. The bones weren't mending straight. They were very rigid and any pressure to them would have caused them to snap like twigs. So, I re-set them and implanted rods, similar to the one in Dave's back, to them so that when the breaks heal the bones will mend straight and in correct position.

Jing-Mei: So, how does this latest development affect Dave?

Dr. Hardy: Not too much differently except it will take him longer to heal. He may have to wear the casts for more than the six weeks, like previously expected.

Mark: But his heart held out?

Dr. Hardy: Yes, it did fine. He sure is a tough hombre.

Jing-Mei headed upstairs and was directed into his room by a nurse. When she entered, Dave was still sleeping off the effects of the anesthesia. His legs were both in casts, that went from his toes all the way up to his hips. They were hanging up in the air by slings and ropes. She went over to him, held his hand and pulled up a chair. She kept one eye on him, hoping he would wake up soon, and one eye on his machines, checking out his vitals and trying to mentally access his condition.

Dr. Hardy walked up behind her.

Dr. Hardy: I would have walked you up if you gave me the chance. Well, is everything as you expected?

Jing-Mei: Yes. I didn't expect him to have such huge casts on though.

Dr. Hardy: We had a lot to cut. Those casts are only temporary. As soon as he's finished with traction, we will remove the plaster, splint the legs, x-ray them and see how well they are healing and then we can put on more flexible casts that allow his knees to bend, but not too much.

Jing-Mei: How come he's in traction anyway?

Dr. Hardy: Circulation purposes. It will only be for the first week or so.

Jing-Mei: Hey, Dave, baby. I'm here. Just like I said I would be.

Dave's eyes flickered open and he made a thumbs up motion to her before letting his eyes close again.

Dr. Hardy: He'll probably sleep through the night. Why don't you go home and if there's a change in his condition, I'll have the nurse notify you.

Jing-Mei: I do have something I need to take care of at home. If he wakes up again, will you tell him that I said goodnight and that I love him.

Dr. Hardy: I'll make sure he gets the message.

Jing-Mei gave him a final kiss and then left for home.

Jing-Mei arrived home to see the boys on the floor playing with racing cars and the dogs lying nearby, gnawing on their chew toys. Mrs. Peterson came in to greet her.

Mrs. Peterson: How did everything go at work and with Dave?

Jing-Mei: Work was the same and Dave, he's doing just fine.

Rusty: Papa okay.

Jing-Mei: Papa's fine.

Jing-Mei stares at both boys and then gives Mrs. Peterson the signal to take the baby into the other room. She picks up Antonio, who starts to cry. Rusty hands him one of the cars and he starts to chew on it, calming him down. Mrs. Peterson takes it out of his mouth, resulting in more crying.

Mrs. Peterson: Come on, let's get a cookie.

Antonio stopped crying and started to clap his hands.

Antonio: Cuckie...cuckie.

Rusty got up to follow but Jing-Mei stopped him.

Rusty: I want a cookie too.

Jing-Mei: I'll get you one in a moment but right now, we have to talk. Sit down with me. Have you done any schoolwork today?

Rusty: Two pages of math. Yuck.

Jing-Mei: Good boy. Rusty, you asked me a question this morning and I told you I would answer it for you when I got home. Do you remember that?

Rusty nods and starts to get extremely nervous.

Jing-Mei: Do you still want to know the answer to it?

Rusty debates for a minute then nods his head.

Jing-Mei: You asked me why your mama died and how. Now, I'm going to tell you but before I do I want you to know that it's not your fault and you didn't do anything to cause it. You weren't a bad boy. (pause) Alright, while you were here visiting your papa, some bad men broke into your house back home in Sicily and your mama walked in on them.

Rusty(panicking): They hurt mama.

Jing-Mei: Yeah, they did. They hurt her real bad.

Rusty: How?

Jing-Mei started nervously licking her lips.

Jing-Mei: They shot her.

Rusty: Was she hurting when she died?

Jing-Mei: No, I don't think so. It happened so quick that I think she just went to sleep and the next time she woke up she was up in heaven, watching over you as she was being given her wings.

Rusty: Angel wings?

Jing-Mei: Right. Now, between her, me, your papa, Mrs. Peterson, the dogs and Antonio you have all these people keeping an eye on you and you will never be alone again. We are family forever.

Rusty: Mama gone forever.

Jing-Mei: Not forever. You'll see her again when your turn comes and you go to heaven which won't be for a very long time.

Rusty: Papa going heaven soon.

Jing-Mei: No, sweetheart. None of us are for a long, long time. Your papa and I are going to be around to hold your children when you have them. Are you okay now with death? Do you understand that people die not because of anything that you do bad, it just happens.

Rusty: I think so.

Jing-Mei: You still look a little confused. Listen, Rusty if you want to cry, it's okay. Big boys need to cry at times too.

Rusty: Can I get my cookie now?

Jing-Mei lets out a small giggle and helps Rusty up on his feet.

Jing-Mei: Scoot. (patting his rear as he takes off for the kitchen) No cookies for the dogs. They have their own treats that you can give each of them one.

Rusty: Okay, Mama Jing.

Mrs. Peterson enters the room.

Mrs. Peterson: How did it go with Rusty?

Jing-Mei: Pretty good. He took the news better than I thought he would. He'll be okay.

Mrs. Peterson: I guess he's growing up faster than we know.

After putting the boys down for the night, Jing-Mei is preparing to turn in herself when she hears a banging noise. Startled, she runs out of her bedroom and into Rusty's. She flings the door open to see the small boy with his toy rifle banging it against the headboard of his bed. Jing-Mei carefully approaches the boy and is able to hold him and stop him from banging the rifle.

Jing-Mei: Calm down, Rusty! Sweetheart, what hap...STOP THAT! STOP THAT, NOW! What happened, baby?

Rusty, face covered in tears and with fire in his eyes, struggles to get loose from Jing-Mei's grip.

Rusty: GUN BAD. GUN KILLED MY MAMA!!! GUN BAD!

Worn out from his actions, Rusty collapses into Jing-Mei's opened arms. He starts bawling.

Rusty: Why they take my mama? I miss her. I never say bye to her or tell her that I love her. I miss her so much. It's not fair.

Jing-Mei starts to stroke the hysterical, grieving seven year old.

Jing-Mei: I know baby, I know... It's not fair, your right. It's okay, let it out. Just let it out, sweetheart. Mama Jing is here for you.

To be continued. Please read and review.