Aqua Mortis
At first, I thought I couldn't possibly do the Black Knight scene… but you know what? I can, I can do the Black Knight scene. And still be in character. I think.
By the way, if you want to know what's going on with Sora, Riku, Kairi, and their respective apprentices, don't worry, you'll find out. Not in Aqua Mortis, but you'll find out. Hehehehehe…
My first "edit for quality" in a bit. Should be worthwhile.
Where the Heart Comes From
Diary of Tim the Enchanter: With the aid of the Keyblade, we've conquered all obstacles we've faced. And now, as the sun reaches its apogee and me two companions try to pretend they didn't have sexual intercourse just now, I feel closer to the Grrrrrrrrrrrrrail than I've ever been.
"Tim!" I exclaimed.
"Come on, man," Zack said. "We said you could narrate, you don't have to be passive-aggressive about it."
Tim smirked at us from the head of our party, then turned his back and continued his walk. I smiled at Zack, and the need for subterfuge gone, I held his hand as we walked. He smiled back, squeezing and lacing his fingers through mine. For months, I had felt as if my heart had been left behind in the dark realm, but now its presence was overwhelming; I was filled with hope.
"Hmm…" Tim growled. "What's this, then?"
I looked past him. The surrounding land had narrowed into a pass, wide enough only for one person to slip through at a time. A man stood in front of the pass, wearing a black tunic and a helmet that concealed his face completely, with only a tiny slit he could see through. He stood there perfectly still, his hands interlaced over the pommel of his sword, its point against the ground.
"Er… pardon me," Tim said, approaching the man. "We're hopin' ta get through this pass… we seek the Grrrrrrrrrrrrail, ye see."
"None shall pass," the man deadpanned.
"What?" Tim said aggressively.
"None shall pass," he repeated.
Tim gripped his staff dangerously. Zack sidled up to him. "Let me take care of this," he said. "Ahem… we've no reason to quarrel, my good sir, but we must pass you."
"The Black Knight moves for no man," he said.
"Black Knight, huh?" Zack said. "Now, see…" He leaned on the Black Knight's shoulder conspiratorially. "We've got to find that Holy Grail. The guy in the ram's horns, he's hoping to restore your world to its former glory. And the lady, who's really special to me, by the way"—he paused to wink at me, and I gave him a little wave—"she's got a mission twenty years in the making that might finally be resolved if we can get our hands on that artifact! So we're gonna hang around until you stand aside."
"Then you shall die," the Black Knight said simply. His body began to billow with the energy of darkness.
"Hmm. Right to it, huh?" Zack took a breath and stepped back. "So be it, then." He drew his sword.
Tim and I moved in to aid him, but Zack waved us away. "This is a duel, folks," he said. "You can come in when I'm done."
I nodded to him respectfully. The Black Knight opened with a vicious thrust, and Zack had to jump back. He retaliated quickly with a low slash to the knees. The Black Knight parried, but Zack turned it to his advantage, forcing the knight's sword point toward the ground. Zack lifted his sword up high, executing a downward cut that took the knight's arm clean off.
I gasped. Only black smoke poured out of the wound, but it leaked in a downward direction, pooling on the ground.
Zack thumbed his blade. "So… will that be all?" he said.
"'Tis but a scratch," the Black Knight said.
"A… a scratch?" Zack said, alarmed. "Your arm is off!"
"No it isn't."
"What's that, then?" Zack demanded, pointing to the arm laying flat on the ground.
The Black Knight looked at his own arm, then shrugged and turned back to Zack. "I've had worse."
"You have not," Zack sneered.
The Black Knight's only response was another swipe with his sword—one-handed this time, of course. The sword clanged hard against Zack's, causing him to step back in fear, the knight still fighting with the strength of many.
The knight's darkness expanded, and he charged at Zack with his sword pointed straight forward. Zack sidestepped him nimbly and chopped off his other arm.
"I think I've made my point," Zack said. He turned to me. "I'm usually not so brutal, but this guy's clearly—"
Zack was interrupted by a kick to his shins. The armless Black Knight danced around him tauntingly.
"Come on then!" he said.
"What?" Zack said blandly.
"Have at you! Had enough, eh?"
"Look," Zack said calmly. "You've got no arms left."
"Yes I have."
"What do you mean 'yes I'—? Look!"
"Just a flesh wound," the Black Knight proclaimed, kicking Zack repeatedly in the rear.
"Look, stop that!" Zack snapped. "Fine then, friend. I'll have your leg."
Zack chopped off a leg, unleashing more of the strange black smoke.
"Right, I'll do you for that!" the Black Knight said, teetering dangerously.
"You'll what?" Zack said, disgusted.
"Come on, then!"
The Black Knight lost his balance and leaned on Zack's chest. They stared at each other.
"What are you gonna do, bleed on me?" Zack said.
"I'm invincible! The Black Knight always triumphs!"
"You're… crazy," Zack said. "I have no regrets for what I'm about to do here."
Zack swung mightily, cutting off the Black Knight's other leg. The head and torso plopped to the ground, and the Black Knight inspected himself before looking back up at Zack.
"All right, we'll call it a draw."
"Yes, let's," Zack said. "Don't worry, fella, you know what they say. There's even a little song about it: Always look on the bright side of life…"
Zack whistled as he pranced into the pass, and Tim joined in, walking along with him. "Always look on the bright side of—"
"Guys, wait," I said. "Come on, whatever creature of darkness this guy was, we can't leave him like this."
Tim and Zack looked at the torso, which had somehow managed to bring itself upright. "Running away, eh?" he said. "Oh, I see!"
"Aye, ye're rrrright, Aqua," Tim said. "We'd best put him out o' his misery."
He pointed his staff at the Black Knight. "Fire!" he said.
The flamethrower shot out, burning the knight, who simply squirmed. "Oh, you cheat! You are dishonored, sir! Have at you!"
"Hmm," Tim muttered. "Resilient little bugger… let's try—Thunder!"
His lightning bolt worked about as well. The Black Knight tried hopping toward him. "Come here, you yellow bastards! I'll bite your legs off!"
"Hmm… I know," Tim said. "Sixteen-Ton Weight!" Tim pointed his staff upwards, conjuring from nowhere an enormous black box, clearly labeled "16 tons" in white letters. The weight hung there over the Black Knight's head for a moment, then dropped straight down. The knight's complaints and taunts instantly ceased.
"That did it," Tim said, twirling his staff in satisfaction.
"Sixteen-Ton Weight, huh?" I said.
"Aye."
"You'll have to teach me that one. Let's get going."
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
Beyond the pass, Tim directed us down a hill. "I smell freshwater and fog," he said. "Aye, and now I spy a loch!"
A great black lake appeared before us, as if it had been waiting for us. Things always seemed to come out of nowhere in this fog… and indeed, a large dragon-headed boat emerged from nowhere as the fog cleared, and far away in the lake was an island, upon which stood a crumbling stone castle.
"The Castle Aargh," Tim said. "Our journey is at an end."
He paused, noticing a rotund man standing on the shore in front of the boat.
"Who would cross the Sea of Fate must answer me these questions twenty-eight!"
Zack and I glanced meaningfully at each other, and I used my Keyblade to throw the man into the air and bat him into the lake. The three of us boarded the dragon-ship, which guided itself to the island.
"Look at it, in all its glory," Tim said. "'Tis a gift from God, that we finally managed to—JESUS CHRRRRRRIST!"
A live cow was catapulted from within the castle, blasting the three of us off our feet.
"What the hell?" Zack yelled, quickly righting himself.
A little man in a pointy helmet poked his head over the parapets. "Go away, silly pig-dogs!" he yelled. "Go boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you!"
"The Frrrrench?" Tim bellowed. "They got here before me!"
"Zat's right, so-called Enchanter Tim! I fart in your general direction, you mangy Scots git, you!"
"Wha—who's this guy?" Zack demanded.
"The Taunter," Tim growled. "A dangerous man."
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
"So I see," I said. "Well, I'd hate to be him right now. Let's go."
Zack, Tim, and I advanced toward the castle's front doors.
"Open this door!" I called to the taunter.
"No chance, English bedwetting types! I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing, you secondhand electric donkey bottom biters!"
Zack tugged at the front door. "Well, it's locked," he said. He bowed to me. "After you, I think."
I aimed my Keyblade at the door… and immediately had a hot and steaming bucket of garbage dumped right on my head.
The proverbial straw—that was it. I felt a scream rising in my throat, and something far more sinister rising in my heart. My skin flickered with black fire, and when I released the scream I also released the inferno of darkness.
The energy blasted me into the air, and I no longer cared about obtaining the Grail or finding Ventus or putting the Frenchman in his place… I just wanted to get out of there. The darkness keeping me aloft, I walked back across the loch and, once I got to shore, sat down on a rock and wallowed in my own fury.
A few minutes later, I heard Zack's voice. "Um… Aqua?"
I lifted my head. At the sight of him, the darkness slowly burned itself away, and I smiled broadly. "Oh… hello, Zack."
He and Tim had, apparently, taken the boat back to me. Tim was shielding his eyes from the sun, gazing back at the castle.
"Uh, hi," Zack said. "So, what's our next move, Aqua?"
I ran my fingers through my hair. The dark fire had cleansed me of all the crap that had been dumped on me, at least. Not much consolation, considering the contamination I could still feel splashed across my heart. "I don't know, Zack. But… I think I'll be moving on. To another world. And you're welcome to join me, if you'd like."
"Only for the rest of my life," Zack said. "But the Grail…"
"Oh, I don't need a Grail," I said, producing my Keyblade. "I should have seen it before—I already have a powerful artifact of light."
Tim turned to me, an eyebrow raised. "Oh, yer heart, I suppose?"
I turned my Keyblade into the glider. "I was gonna say the Keyblade, actually. But that too. Hop on, Zack."
"Oh, sure," Tim protested. "You don't need a Grrrrrrrrrrrrrail. What about me? I need the bloody thing to fix this world! Ye thought about this world, Master Aqua? It's still beset by plagues, and evil monsters, three-headed knights, bad minstrels, nineteen-year-old twin virgins in excitin' underwear… well, they're okay, I guess. But the rrrrest of it! Ye think that can keep goin' on as long as the Keyblade wielder has her hearrrrrt?"
"The Keyblade. Not my heart, the Keyblade."
"Still, Aqua," Zack said. "I don't think we're finished just yet."
"Sure we are," I said. "Tim, look! You made your journey. You're almost finished." I pointed to the castle. "And someday you're going to get in there. You know the way now."
Tim looked over the castle again. "Aye, that I did. I'll need a damned army. Infantry, cavalry…" He counted on his fingers. "Prrrobably some more sorcerers, aye, that's a must. Siege equipment, and some motorcycles… ye know where I can find some motorcycles?" He turned to me hopefully.
"See?" I told Zack. "He's got this covered. He'll be fine." I lifted off. "We'll come back when you've used the Grail," I promised Tim.
He saluted me, though it looked more like a dismissive wave. Maybe that's what he meant. He may have been gruff, but the man wanted light for his world, and that was a good thing.
"And so, the hero's journey continues," Zack said.
I opened the portal. "Yes… it certainly does."