Chapter 14

She was laughing, happy as they left the house, hand-in-hand. He held the baby's car seat in one hand and laced his fingers with Carol's with the other. He worked carefully to strap in the baby's seat and even moved to open Carol's car door like a true goddamned gentleman.

He moved then, catching her hips in his hands, pulling her close, pressing her gently against the side of the car, his hands moving over her like she was his, like he was the only man in the world that could touch her like that and make her smile.

She wrapped an arm around his neck, her fingers gently scratching at the skin there, and he whispered something into her ear, something that made her blush, something that made her eyes sparkle and her nose crinkle, and she pressed her hands against his chest, leaning into him, kissing him, claiming him the way he'd claimed her, as if she knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to show it anymore.

This woman, this broken shell of a woman was no more. No, she was different. She wasn't crying. She always cried. She always begged and huddled in the corner. She always tried to run, tried to hide the scratches and the bruises, tried to make excuses for the people who cared enough to ask. Fuck, that girl was almost gone. Now, she wore low-cut sundresses that accented her tits, and she walked around like she'd been told she was worth something.

Knuckles whitened against the steering wheel of the car parked a few houses down. She didn't notice it. He didn't notice it. The man with his hands all over her tits and ass. No, he wouldn't would he? She'd hypnotized him like the whore she was, using what good was left of her body to get a little attention from someone. Someone else. And he carried that baby like he was her own daddy, like she didn't already have a daddy she belonged to. A family.

He had half a mind to march across that street and take back what was rightfully his. What belonged to him, because a piece of paper had no fucking authority. She was his. That baby was his. And sneaking off to play house with another man wouldn't change that. No, they'd always be his, and sooner or later, he'd make her see that. Not yet, but someday. For now, she could play happy family with another man. She could pretend to be his, because it wouldn't change a thing. She already belonged to someone else.

She could pretend for a little while longer, but sooner or later, she'd have to wake up and come home. Sooner or later, she'd be reminded that nothing good in this world comes to worthless, stupid animals who don't mind when they're told.

As the car with the happy family drove away, he sat and watched their pretty little house grow dark as the clouds passed in front of the sun. He watched as the house, nestled in a quiet little neighborhood in a quiet little town held all the dirty little secrets she'd undoubtedly told the new man of hers. Oh, she'd pay for it, alright. But not yet. Soon.

...

"It too cold out here for her?" Daryl asked, eyeing the baby's car seat that sat on the picnic blanket close by. They hadn't counted on the temperature dropping as a storm slowly crept in from the horizon.

"She's fine," Carol said with a smile, glancing over at her sleeping daughter.

"She's awful quiet. Ain't fussin'."

"Well, what has she got to fuss about? She's dry, she's full, she's warm, and she can hear our voices. She's perfectly content. She's quiet, because she's happy." Carol's fingers brushed against his on the blanket, and he curled his fingers around hers. Thunder rumbled in the distance, and Carol sighed softly, closing her eyes as she felt the breeze flutter against her warm skin, cooling her off. Daryl must have been eyeing her, because the moment her shoulders slumped a little, he squeezed her hand.

"What's on your mind?"

"Hmm?"

"You been kinda quiet."

"I have?" Daryl nodded. "I don't know. Maybe I'm a little worried about how good things have been. I'm not used to good. I'm not even used to a little ok. I'm used locking my deadbolt at night, putting the chain on my door, because I'm terrified my ex-husband will come knocking in the middle of the night."

"You ain't gotta worry about that."

"What if I do?" Carol asked softly. "Daryl, I've tried to convince myself that everything's going to be better from here on out, but I'm not naïve enough to think that he won't ever come looking for me. For Sophia. She's his blood."

"Don't make him a father," Daryl replied. "He ain't gonna hurt either of you. He tries, I'll kill him."

"Don't say that," Carol bit back quickly. "Don't ever say that, Daryl."

"The man beat you. Coulda killed you."

"Just…I couldn't take it if something happened to you because of him. He's already done enough damage. If he hurt you, too…I can't, Daryl." She took a shaky breath. "Sometimes I want to just take off. Start over someplace new. Some place he'd never coming looking for me. Sometimes, I just want to." She looked away for a moment, and when her gaze met his again, she saw a bit of worry, a bit of reluctance.

"You ain't gonna disappear on me are ya?"

"Of course not," she murmured. "I wouldn't. I just…I think about it sometimes. I wouldn't leave you. You're the only friend I have in this whole, crazy world."

"You wanna run away, just say the world. We could leave this damned place in the dust."

"We couldn't do that," Carol reminded him with a little grin. "But it's a nice thought. I love that you would do that for me. But I don't want you to give up anything."

"I'd give up any damned thing for you," Daryl admitted. "I love you." Carol's breath caught in the back of her throat for a moment, and she swallowed hard. And she could tell by the way his brows raised and the way his face froze with his lips parted slightly, it had slipped out unintentionally.

"Daryl…"

"You don't gotta say it. I shouldn't have…I fucked up. M'sorry."

"Don't apologize if it's true." Her eyes searched his; she leaned forward a little.

"It's true," he promised. He looked away for a moment, but it might as well have been hours. And when his gaze met hers again, he hesitated, and then he asked, "what about you?"

"There's only three men in this whole world I've ever said 'I love you' too. My daddy, you and Ed. And with Ed, I never really felt it. Never meant it. With you? It was the most natural thing. Like breathing. Loving you was easy."

"Now?"

"Now it's different. And it's like starting on the tenth date, you know? It's different, but I still feel it. I still do. I do love you." She felt her face grow hot from the admission, and he leaned in, bridging the gap to kiss her. And she let him, felt him sink against her, felt his hands against her shoulders, felt his warm tongue against her lips, begging entrance. And then she pulled back.

"How's it different?" he asked, finally, as they took a few moments to catch their breaths and collect their thoughts.

"It just…it is. Back then? We were two different people. Now? God, I'm not even a shell of the person I used to be. I just…"

"You're still you. You just ain't been allowed to be you for so long. You just gotta let yourself be you." Carol smiled a little at that.

"I'm still me. But everything I do, every choice I make for the rest of my life will be tainted with the memory of Ed. The abuse wasn't just physical, Daryl. I have scars inside, too." She flinched at her own words.

"We all got scars. Makes us who we are. We come out stronger 'cause of 'em." He squeezed her hand. "I already had them kinda scars when ya met me, but it didn't scare you away. Ain't nothin' you carry 'round with you could turn me away." They were both silent then, both reeling on the inside from the entire conversation, both nervous about what it meant, where this was going. She'd never felt happier than when she was with him, and he'd never felt more loved, and while Carol thought maybe she'd been far too bold, far too presumptuous to hope that she could just come back and things could be the way they were, the way he was looking at her now told her she hadn't been entirely too off base.

Ed had broken her. He'd taken pieces of her and twisted them into pieces she despised about herself now. No longer was she bold and carefree, no longer did she try to initiate anything more than a few kisses, no longer did she feel brave enough to speak her needs, her wants, her desires. But with Daryl, she felt a little more like her old self, a little more like the person she used to be, the person she liked to be. It was a start. A small start, but it was something.

Thunder rumbled again, this time closer, and the dark clouds were beginning to roll in.

"We should go," Daryl murmured, quickly standing and grabbing the baby's car seat.

"You get her in the car, and I'll clean up here," Carol offered, moving to gather everything up from their little picnic. Daryl got the car seat fastened into the back of the car, while Carol tossed everything in the trunk. Just as she was moving to duck into the passenger's seat before the rain could start, she felt pressure on her elbow, and she turned to face Daryl. He was pressing in close, his eyes on hers, his lips parted slightly. "What?" A smile spread over her face as he leaned in, pressing his lips against hers softly, putting just a bit of pressure on the back of her neck with his fingertips. She sighed then, opening up to him as the rain began to sprinkle down on them.

She felt the loss the moment he backed away, but he gently ran his fingers through her short, damp hair as the rain began to pick up a bit, and their hair and skin became slick. He tilted her chin up, encouraging her to keep her eyes fixed on his.

"You ain't broken. You're healin', and that's ok. Takes a while, and you'll never forget what he did to you, but I swear to God, you ain't ever gonna have to know that life again." He pressed his forehead against hers, fighting for the words as her hands moved to cling to his forearms.

"I'm afraid," she admitted, taking in a shuddering breath. "You don't know the kinds of things he said. The kinds of things he did. I'm ashamed I ever let him…"

"Hey," he murmured, "that wasn't you. That was some other girl. I know men like that. My daddy was like that. Makes you believe you ain't nothin', and you start to feel it. Takes a long time to come back from that. But I'm willin' to wait if that's what it takes. Don't wanna mess up again. Don't wanna let you go, 'cause that was the biggest damned mistake I ever made."

Carol sighed softly, and she pulled her arms around his shoulders, resting her head against his chest.

"We're getting all wet," she whispered.

"I don't mind." His voice was strong, deep, and the rumble of it in his chest made her smile. She turned her face up to his and gave him a gentle kiss on the neck , then the jaw, and then her lips were on his again.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"What for?"

"Just for this," she murmured. He'd never know exactly how special he'd made her feel in those moments, because she'd never be able to put it into words, but as she blinked up at him, taking deep, steadying breaths, she began to feel a little like that old life with Ed was nothing but a very bad dream, one that she was finally waking up from. She could be happy. It would take time, but she'd get there. They could be happy again, picking up the pieces of their fractured lives.