Chapter- 14

Alright so this chapter was updated because I forgot to put in this one part that I really wanted in there.

Of course if your reading this for the first time the message above doesn't matter.

Anyway enjoy the story!

"Alright time for bed" I say turning off the movie.

"But I'm not even tired" she yawns.

Ive just learned that sometimes the things you see on tv and read in books are true- Kids never want to go to bed, no matter how tired they are.

I wish I could remember my child hood... Did I do this when it was my bed time? Did my brother and I give my mother and father a hard time?

I shake my head from the thoughts and let her continue to sit next to me, eyes droopy, fighting to stay awake. I work out my plan of attack, deciding exactly how to have my first night putting a child, no matter how old, to bed.

This is going to be fun.

"Right- not tired" I agree, deciding not to demand she go to bed, but convince her she wants to."So I suppose your up for a run?"

She groans "Since when do you run?" She knows what I'm doing and I knew she would, Chrissy too smart to fall for something like this, but I don't care. Its going to work, she's to exahusted to put up a fight.

"I don't normally, but I'm willing to make an exception if your still not sleepy..."

She moans again "Fine."

"That's what I thought" I say.

She stands up and helps me make the couch into a bed. She can barely grasp the sheets so I tell her I'll finnish up and she can go put her pajamas on. When she comes back- rephrase- stumbles back, I pull back the covers and she lays down without a word. I kneel down next to her.

She snuggles deeper into the pillow and closes her eyes. "Goodnight Ms. Lake."

I grin softly and tentatively push some curly hair out of her face "Emily" I correct softly "Call me Emily"

She nods with a small smile, keeps her eyes closed and says, "Goodnight Emily"

I bend down to kiss her forehead "Goodnight Chrissy" I whisper and her smile gets a little wider. God shes adorable.

I stand up and walk towards my room, turning out the lights as I pass the switch.

I close my door slowly and immediately slump against it. I've never felt this happy before.

She's not yours. I hear Mr. Kosan's voice say.

I don't care I say back

This is wrong- you're her teacher! Practically a stranger- she already has a mother! The voice says.

Shut up! I inwardly scream, it seems to work. Gosh even when he's not here he's annoying and evil.

As I think back to the sleeping Chrissy in the other room, the happiness returns. I push of the door and put on something to sleep. Once I get into bed, sleep immediately overtakes me.

I'm sitting down in front of a chess board, I can't see my opponent but whoever it is, they're winning.

"Very good" an older mans voice says after I make my move. "Your getting there."

"I would hope so after how many times we played" I hear myself say with the accent that seems to be a recurring theme.

Suddenly something shifts and the chess board is rearranged- I'm winning now. I make my move "Checkmate" I say with satisfaction.

"Oh Frak! Frakity Frak Frak Frak!" A young woman's voice says in frustration. "How do you do that?!" She demands.

"Years of practice darling. Years of practice" I hear my voice say.

The scene changes again and that wonderful laugh begins to echo throughout the room.

A warm feeling travels through me and an infectious grin breaks out across my face. All at once I feel...excited- anxious- like spark has ignited inside of me- I feel alive. I know it's ridiculous- but I've fallen in love with a laugh.

A door appears in front of me, I open it without hesitation. Stepping through I find thousands of doors lining an endless hallway, each one a different color and design.

The ceiling and floor are translucent, yet solid. A few steps in and I see the walls behind the doors are the same. Looking closer, through the right wall, I make out a sparkling brook, and through the left is a forest most likely full of critters. The skies are a magnificent blue, spotted with white, fluffy clouds and flocks of birds. It has to be one of the most peaceful places on earth. Strangely though, being here makes me feel on edge, angry, heartbroken even.

I'm made aware of the laughter again and my spirits rise. Gone are the thoughts of the outside world, of the peaceful-depressing scene.

I focus on that laugh and slowly realize its coming from one of the doors.

I walk across the floor quickly, opening each door as I pass. Behind every one I find a black void. Door after door after door, my faith should be dwindling- I should want to give up. But I know as long as that laughter is rebounding in my head, nothing will stop me. I will find the woman behind the voice. I will. I open a hundred more doors, with each one feeling closer and closer.

"Mummy" a faint whisper comes from one of the doors I've already passed.

It's not enough for me to turn around. So I continue down the hallway, still searching for the beautiful laughter that seems to be getting louder and louder.

"Mummy" the little voice yells it this time.

I jerk my head in that direction and take of sprinting back down the hall.

"Mummy!"

I come to a light pink door, open it, and step into the darkness without a second thought.

"Mummyyyyyy! Help meeee!"

I'm falling thorough the void, convinced I'm going to land on a hard, cold floor. What seems like a hundred years goes by and all of sudden everything stops.

I sit up in my bed, panting.

"MUMMMY!" It's not a dream. Chrissy

I throw the covers off me in an instant, and jump out of bed, running for the other room, with an impossibly clear mind. This is what Charles was talking about.

"HEEEELP!" The ear piercing scream shouts again.

I'm by her side before I can register the look of terror on her face and the tears running down her checks. She's thrashing back and forth, punching and kicking at the invisible attackers.

I'm somehow extremely calm and at the same time inwardly panicking.

"Chrissy" I shake her. "Wake up!"

"No-no-please!" She pleads, sounding smaller and more defenseless by the second."MUMMY!"

On pure instinct I throw my arms around her and pull her close to my chest, not carrying whether or not she hits me in her fit of terror. "It's just a dream" I say "You're alright-you're alright"

Suddenly the screaming stops. I feel her arms attach themselves around my neck, clinging to me like a lifeline.

"Shhhhh..." I whisper rubbing her back "I've got you- don't worry"

Her body jerks with each sob, and her tears leak through my shirt onto my shoulder.

I know she just needs to be held, cuddled, and reminded that she's safe. So I pick her up with ease and surprising strength, and carry her to my room.

I lay her down on the bed, never loosening my arms. I continue talking to her soothingly as I prop myself up and pull the covers over us. She turns a little and releases her hold on my neck to move her arms around my waist.

Her tears subside,"Nobody's going to hurt you."

She buries herself deeper into my chest and tightens her grip.

"Shhh" I stroke her hair, and pull her closer "You're safe, You're safe."

After a while I hear her breathing even out and feel the tears stop. She's asleep. I allow myself to relax a little, and process what exactly happened. I think back to my dream and the two new voices I heard, one an old man and the other a young woman. Then of course there are the voices I've already heard, the woman with the amazing laughter and the little girl in the locket-

And it hits me, the realization id always had but chose to ignore. The girl in the locket...I look at Chrissy, studying her face- with-with curly black hair, fair skin, and brown eyes...the girl that says Mummy...

For a minute I let myself embrace the possibility. Thinking back to every smile, every quick remark, her curiosity, that uncontrollable urge to know how things work and why, the sense of confidence she always carried, so much like me but still completely unique. Then theres her physical features, the fair skin, the black hair that we shared-even if her's was curly-, and finally the biggest give away of all- her eyes. She, with-out-a-doubt, had my eyes. Until now I was in denial but hearing her scream- in the same voice- the word from my dreams.

I'm shocked it took me this long to admit it.

But then reality begins to creep back in. If I was her mother. Why would she keep me in the dark? Why would she lie? Why would she tell me things about myself- about my family?

I pull her a little closer, savoring the feel of her smaller body curled around mine. She's searching for a sense of protection, something I realize now she could only find with her mother.

My question list just tripled. But I'm not going to wake her up just to ask. Which means there's only one other way for me to find out more.

Deductive reasoning.

Ok- First of the word Mummy. That's English not American, and tonight while Chrissy was dreaming she was talking with an accent. Then Charles talked with an accent and that man in my dream kind of had an accent. And then I had an English accent in my dream which means- I'm not American...-no wonder I don't like coffee.

Alright next order of business- Chrissy's name. Not that it's not a wonderful name, I just can't see myself naming my child that... I suppose it could be a nick name? Yes that's probably it- a nickname short for... Crystal? No... Crysta? No... Christine No...but its close... Alright if you were to have a daughter right now-I imagine holding a small child in my arms, watching her giggle and squeal- Now whats her name?- Christina I think immediately. Her name is Christina.

I glance down at Chrissy- Christina and trace the side of her face with my fingers. I smile softly Christina.

I'll talk to her tomorrow.

And for the second time tonight I close my eyes and allow myself to fall asleep, this time with my daughter snuggled in my arms.