CH 14: I'm a fucking monster
I cracked my eyes open, they were heavy and dry from sleeping in the heat. My hands and feet had been untied and I was on my side in a ball, alone.
"Ma-" I cleared my throat, it was dry and felt like it would crack open "Mac?" I called, my voice echoed around the cave. There was no answer; just the buzz of the lights and the fan in the corner. I uncurled my naked body and stretched out while I sat up; there was a bottle of water next to the mattress. I opened it and gulped it down, desperate for any kind of moisture, closing my eyes at the wetness as I felt it flow down inside of me.
"MAC!" I called out again, my throat allowing me to put more gusto behind my cry this time. "Mac, you fuck, where are you?"
As I stood up my attention went between my legs; I was sore, there was a burning pressure that made me grab myself and rub. "jesus christ" I muttered to the pain. I walked around the small cave, for a moment while I adjusted; the place was a meth heads paradise.
I wrinkled my nose and shivered, remembering what he was capable while on this shit; which he clearly was again.
I walked over to the disgusting mattress and got dressed as fast as I could, then discovered my shoes were gone. "You fuck" I muttered under my breath, he just wasn't going to make this easy. I wandered through the darkness where sharp rocks poked my feet, making me stumble around. There was a bright light shining at the end, it was daytime, but was it the same day?
When I finally got to the edge of the cave I saw what I had feared in the back of my mind; my car was gone. The sun was straight up in the sky, so I had been in the cave for at least one whole night. I could see the heat rising from the red dirt, which meant trying to walk across it back to town wasn't an option.
"Well that is just fucking perfect!" I screamed into the desert.
I walked back into the darkness to see if there was anything I could make shoes out of, or if there was a CB or a phone, anything. I had to use my hands on the rocky sides of the cave while my eyes adjusted to the darkness again. I tripped over something big and fell onto my hands, my knees landing on the hard rocks making me cry out. At this point I was running off of pure rage; my body was shaking and I was ready to murder him. I stood up slowly, but tripped over something again and fell right back down.
"MOTHER FUCKER!" I screamed through the cave. I felt around trying to see what it was that was causing me so much trouble. My hand grazed sharp rocks and dirt, then something moist, then something smooth and hairy, and cool. I grabbed it and felt the shape, trying to figure out what the hell Mac had done now. I slid my hands across the smooth, hairy surface until I came to a hand.
"Oh fuck" my stomach was in a knot, and I felt sick. Why couldn't I smell this person though? Maybe they weren't dead. I continued moving my hands over the body until I felt breasts, a naked female. I continued my movement up to the face so I could listen for breathing and see if I could find a heartbeat.
I leaned my head down to their face in the darkness, pressing my ear close to the mouth listening for breath while my hand moved up to the pulse point on the neck.
"Come on, come on!"
There was neither breath, nor pulse, but they hadn't been dead too long. I moved my hands down to the chest, estimating where the heart would be, and began CPR. "Come on" I repeated over and over; my new mantra.
After several minutes I had exhausted myself and hadn't gotten anywhere; the body was still dead. I sat there next to it for a long time, trying to decide whether I really wanted to know who it was that was next to me. After a while, I took a deep breath and found the body again, moving my hands down the torso so I could at least get their shoes. As I reached the lower part of the torso, just between her hip bones, I felt the stickiness again; it was all over her "oh fuck" I said moving through the stickiness down her legs; she still had flip flops on. I pulled the shoe off her left foot and jammed it on my foot, then I felt around for her other leg; of course that shoe was gone.
I moved my hands across the rough, cold ground, searching through the dirt and rocks for the other shoe "come on, come on" I chanted to myself again. Finally I found it; it was several feet away from where the body was. I jammed it on my other foot and stood up, preparing myself to drag her back into the cave so I could see who it was.
My hands were caked in blood and dirt; it felt like I was wearing gloves. I wiped them off a bit on my pants and too the girl's arm in my hands and began to pull her toward the light of the cave since it was just a bit closer than taking her back out.
She didn't weigh too much, but the jagged, uneven ground made it hard to pull her smoothly. I felt bad every time I felt the body catch on something, making me have to pull harder; she was going to be torn up after this.
As I got closer to the light, I could start making out features; brown hair, small nose, fake lips, a tattoo above her heart.
I pulled her into the light and stared at her for a moment, he face was covered in dirt and blood, like a mud mask. I found a dirty cloth on a table and wiped her down; it was Rachel.
"Oh my god" I gasped into my hand "What the fuck did you do, Mac?" I sat down next to her and stared at the whore's face, speechless.
I moved my eyes sown to her torso where the blood seemed to be coming from and saw several knife wounds in her side; he had cut her up bad. There was no way she would have lived through that. I moved my eyes back up to the tattoo on her heart and my breath caught; MAC was scrawled our in swirly letters just over her heart.
My mind began racing, all kinds of ideas popping into mind. They used to be together- so did he leave her making her leave town? Did he get her hooked on meth?
I brushed her matted hair off her face and looked at her; she really was beautiful, she just got mixed up with the wrong people.
I had to get out of the cave; it was shrinking more and more, and the chemicals were making my head swim. I found a flashlight on one of the tables and cursed myself for not thinking to look earlier. I shone the light down the tunnel and came to where Rachel had been left; there was a pool of blood that had mixed in with the dirt, making a large puddle. I closed my eyes and kept moving, still wondering how I hadn't smelled the metallic of the blood. I made it back outside with minimal trouble; the light assaulted my eyes making me shield them with my arm. After a while I took my arm away and looked around; there was nothing out here, and the road was at least a mile away, but nobody was ever on that road anyway.
I started walking down the worn path that led to the road, wishing I hadn't drunk all the water back in the cave.
It took me well over 2 hours to make it back to the Luna Mesa, where my car was parked. I burst in the bar and looked around for Mac so I could murder him in front of the few people who were sitting around. I didn't register their faces, but they all looked at my blood soaked, and dirt covered clothes, curious, but silent.
"WALTER!" I called to the old man who had allowed me to be left in that fucking cave.
"Kate!" I heard Terra say from across the room. I held my hand up to tell her to back off for a second.
Walter wandered out from the back, limping on his cane "Hi honey" he said lightly, though his expression was fierce. He lifted up the counter door and motioned for me to come back. I hesitated for a minute, but the looks I was getting were unnerving.
"Watch things" he said to Terra, and then he started walking toward the back.
I followed the old man, ready to take the cane from him and beat him senseless. We walked into the small back room he used as storage. He turned to me slowly and looked me up and down.
"Yer alrigh' then" he said bringing his eyes back to me.
"No, I am NOT fucking alright, Walter, why did you leave me there. Mac fucking KILLED R-" he held his hand up to shut me up; his eyes were terrifyingly intense.
"Mac was arrested" he said after a moment
"Good!" I spat out "Fucker de-" he cut me off again
"I left ye there because the police want ye too; you were safer there" he said resting both hands on his cane, leaning on it.
"what!? W- why?" I stuttered
"Ryan" He said, like it should be obvious.
"But I gave them alibies, there-what-" I stopped to collect my thoughts "What do they have?"
"Ryan's father showed up- he said he knew Ryan was comin' down te see ye" He shrugged "I'm not sure beyond that"
"Call them, let them bring me in" I said after a moment of thinking about it. "I will go over things with Ryan's father and the police, and I will get this fixed.
Walter didn't say anything; he just nodded and headed back out to the front. After I got my shaking body back under control I followed him out.
"I am going home to change; tell them I will be here in an hour" I said grabbing my keys Terra was holding out "I'll be fine" I said to her worried face.
I drove home faster than I ever had. I showered, put my hair up on top of my head, threw my nasty clothes into the garbage, and dressed in something fresh. I grabbed a bottle of water and headed back to the bar to wait for the out-of-town police to come and collect me.
When I pulled up there were already 2 unmarked police cars waiting in the lot. I pulled up between them and got out, the officers getting out as well; one was fat and bald, the other, not so bad looking and tall.
"I heard you want me?" I said as sweetly as I could with my stomach clenching.
"Ma'am, we have to take you in" was all the bigger one said, bringing the cuffs out from his belt.
"I'll come, you don't need those" I said walking over to his car. I looked at him to confirm that was okay, and he nodded.
I opened the door and slid in to the back seat behind the fat man; he pulled out quickly heading to the next town over.
"SO, what is this all about?" I asked
"We need to wait until we get to the station" he said looking at me in the rearview mirror.
"You can't even tell me what the issue is?" I asked making my voice ooze charm
"It is in regards to the disappearance of Ryan Fields"
"Ryan? I thought we cleared that up?"
"His father paid us a visit, now no more talking until we get there"
I sat back in the seat and looked out the window at the passing hills; I was panicked inside, but I had always been good at hiding my emotions if I wanted to.
I could feel the fat man looking at me in the mirror which made me want to strangle him, but his partner would be on me way too fast for me to get away with it.
It took just over 40 minutes to get to the station; it was a bigger than ours, but it looked just as run down. Officer Fatty came around and opened my door for me and led me by my arm inside, while officer Hottie walked behind us.
I looked around but Mac wasn't anywhere in sight, which meant he was either being interrogated or he was locked up.
Officer Fatty sat me down in front of a desk that looked like it was about ready to collapse, and then sat in the chair behind it.
"We're going to record this conversation" he said bringing the antiquated tape player out from a drawer and placing it in the center of the desk.
"Where is Mr. Fields?" I asked cocking my head to the side. "Surely he would like to speak to me?"
Officer Fatty glanced over to a door quickly, then unconvincingly said "Mr. Fields isn't here right now"
I looked at the door he had eyed, then back to him, cocking my eyebrow. "Uh hu" I crossed my arms and sat back in the chair waiting for this to start.
"This is Officer Colt of the Mayville Police Department. I am with Kate Mctyrnie from Cainville. It is 2:43 pm on Saturday June 8th, 2013." He blabbed into the microphone.
Officer Colt? I think I like Officer Fatty better.
"Miss Mctyrnie, can you tell me where you were on the night of May 2nd, 2013?"
"Really? Um, no- do you know where you were that night?"
He eyed me for a moment. "How do you know Ryan Fields?"
"We dated back in Austin, he cheated on me, then I left." I said. Short and sweet was the way to go with this.
"He cheated on you- must have made you angry" he was nudging me
"It did, for a while, that is why I left. We were done anyway, so it wasn't a great loss"
"Why did you go to Cainville?"
"My uncle brought me here"
"Your uncle?"
"Walter, he owned the Luna Mesa"
"He is your biological uncle?"
"Not that it matters, but no, he and my father were very close."
"Your parents were killed, is that correct?" he asked looking through paperwork
"Yes"
"How did that happen?"
"Fuck off." Way too personal there buddy
"Excuse me?"
"I said fuck off, that has nothing to do with Ryan- or you"
He looked at me for a moment, considering me. "So you left to be with your—Walter"
"Yes"
"Did Ryan come to see you?"
"Yes"
"when was that?"
"I don't know the exact date- it's been a while"
"What did he want?"
"Me, he tried to rape me after I told him I didn't want to talk to him"
Officer Fatty stared at me, his eyes narrowed. "Go on"
"Mac came and beat him up, got him away from me, then he got in his car and left. Mac and I went back to my place and fucked"
"After nearly being raped?"
"Yes. See I actually wanted Mac- big difference"
"Still that must have been traumatizing"
"It would have been if he had gotten any further"
"Sounds like you are lucky then"
I rolled my eyes at him and looked around the station; it was more of a shit hole inside than Cainvilles. When I brought my eyes back to Officer Fatty his eyes were on my chest where cleavage was showing. I scoffed at him, which brought his attention back to my eyes.
"So on the night that Ryan disappeared- the 2nd of May, you didn't have any contact with him after he left in his vehicle."
"That's right."
He looked through his notes some more.
"Same story you gave earlier- same story Mac is claiming"
"SO what is the problem?"
"The problem is that his car was abandoned and he has not been found"
"Could have gotten lost" I offered
"His car had gas and was left off the side of the highway- why would he do that?"
"Pee break?"
"You seem awfully calm about this miss Mctyrnie"
"He is a cheating asshole who tried to rape me, how much sympathy can I give him?"
He closed the file and leaned back in his chair; it creaked under his weight. His eyes rolled over me, taking me in. After at least a couple of minutes of staring at each other he sighed and stood up.
"You're free to go" he said sounding frustrated.
"And Mac?"
"Ya, ya, your boyfriend too" He got his keys out and tossed them to Officer Hottie who walked to the back where the holding cells were probably located. Moments later he came back with Mac behind him.
Mac eyed me but didn't say anything; meanwhile I was afraid if I heard him speak I would end up using one of the officers' guns to shoot him.
"Officer Mason will take you back" Officer Fatty said, sitting back down at his desk.
The ride back was quiet, I didn't look at him at all and didn't care if he was looking at me; we were stuck together in the back seat, forced to be civil.
When Officer Hottie dropped us back at the Mesa, I brushed his arm as I passed, thanking him for his kindness. He nodded and blushed.
Mac stood there, glaring at me.
I rolled my eyes and started toward my car, still pent up with enough anger that I could do more than punch him.
I passed him and grabbed the door handle before I felt his hand cover my wrist tightly. "Where do ye think yer goin?" he whispered in my ear. I ground my teeth together and turned pulled my wrist out of his grasp. He slammed me against the car, my boobs pressing into the glass. He brought my hands onto the roof on the car, being held tightly by his, and pressed his erection into my ass.
"Mac, you fucking asshole" I said thrashing around out of his grip. I stepped away from him, tears forming in my eyes. "What the fuck are you DOING!" I yelled at him, angrier now that I was crying too.
He stepped toward me again, but I stepped back every step he took forward. "You are a monster, Mac" I said over my tears 'I don't understand you"
"Let me explain then" he said still moving toward me. I was backing up closer and closer to his truck until my ass finally met with the tailgate.
"I don't want to hear what you have to say, it's bullshit"
He pressed himself into me, his hands snaking their way around my waist tightly. He pressed his rancid mouth on to mine roughly, making my breath catch and my eyes close. He moved his hands down to my thighs and lifted me up to sit on the tailgate while his mouth worked on mine.
Even after what he'd done, I was still drawn to him; I still belonged to him and his dirty, fucked up life.
I allowed my hands to curl into his hair, bringing him into me, our tongues fighting for control in each other's mouths. He finally broke away and pulled my shirt above my head and tossed it to the ground, and then he undid my shorts and pulled them down roughly. He crawled over my body, forcing me to lie down on the warm metal of his truck bed.
He moved his mouth down my torso, dragging his tongue over my skin, and then biting me, leaving small marks all over. He grabbed my legs and tossed them over his shoulders them planted his face between my legs; "Wet" was all he said before he plunged his tongue in me.
"Oh god!" I cried out involuntarily, his tongue licked straight up my slit, then back inside of me making my whole body tingle. "Fuck, Mac, FUCK" I cried out again.
He kept licking, sucking, and biting me, making my body soar until I came, hard, screaming his name. He slowly crawled up my body, straddling me while he shimmied his giant shoulders out of his coveralls. He pulled them down his body and down to his ankles; he hadn't removed his boots so his clothes bunched at the top of them. He brought him mouth back down on mine, while his hands supported himself above me. My hands found his ass, pulling him into me.
He thrust into me, suddenly, all of our anger coming out in our moans. I pulled his hair hard, making him reveal his neck to me so I could suck on it. I could feel his pulse under my lips as he kept up his pattern above me.
"Come for me again" he said bringing his eyes back to mine. "Come for me now"
His voice, like a trigger, brought me to the edge again, my muscles tightening around his cock, while he rode out my orgasm.
"Atta girl" he whispered. "Now it's my turn" He buried his face in my shoulder, biting. I raised my hips into him more, desperate to feel him deeper He grunted against my collarbone for a few more thrusts before he exploded; that familiar hot and heavy feeling settling inside of me.
He collapsed on my chest, something he'd never done before, as my hands rubbed over his back, feeling his breathing slow. We laid like that for several minutes before I couldn't handle his weight anymore.
"Tell me now" I whispered
He raised his head, his eyes droopy with the aftershock of out sex. "Not here".
He pulled out of me and pulled up his coveralls while I waited for him to retrieve my clothes.
Once we were dressed, he opened the passenger door of his truck and I climbed in, waiting for him to slide in beside me.
We drove to my house in absolute silence, my stomach in knots again; we were going to go over everything tonight.