Basically I've decided to finish off this story now, basically I have way too much coursework/exams coming up for me to spend my time writing this, plus I don't think anyone is reading it, so it's better off finished!

Also, Ronnie Knew, that story will be continued with if and when I get the inspiration, like I did with this, too long chapter, hope your all in with a good read LOL.

7 Months Later

Ronnie slammed the door to her flat, and screamed, shouted, cried her heart out. It didn't happen, her baby, Danielle, gone. It was too much to take in, a shock. 'No, this is all a dream, god, please, it's a dream, right?' Ronnie shouting to herself, no-one could hear her. But she knew the answer. Danielle Mitchell, dead. Today, at Walford hospital from child birth, it shouldn't of happened. But it was fate, the doctor's did the best they could. It couldn't be stopped. Ronnie couldn't save her. The baby inside Danielle also, gone. So much information, so much shock. Ronnie slid down the wall of her flat. She knew, it was over. She was back to the hard Ronnie, Ice queen Ronnie. She didn't want to go back. Inside, she knew it was her way of coping. Complete ice in her body. Her warmth left with Danielle, and her heart went with Charlotte, Danielle's baby. She just carried on crying, she didn't know what else to do. When the tears stop, the Ice Queen starts again. She wasn't ready yet, she wasn't ready to go back there, so soon since the happiness of Danielle. Her Amy. She had waited nineteen years for her baby, and she had a magical seven months with her. Then tonight, the night where it should have been amazing, she lost her daughter, and granddaughter, all in a matter of seven minutes. On the 7th December 2009, Danielle, Ronnie's baby was lost, with Danielle's baby.

A few days later, Ronnie decided to get up, to get dressed. She stank, and she knew it, she didn't care though. She didn't want to care. Care was an emotion, she didn't want to have any emotion in her body anymore. It went with Danielle and Charlotte. There would always be pain in her body, her guilt. For not being able to save Danielle, or Charlotte. The guilt that she had had since Danielle told her the worst past possible for her daughter. She went into Danielle's room, the first time in the past week. The buggy that was meant to be used for Charlotte, the cot. Danielle's wardrobe, the dress she wore to Peggy and her dad's wedding. Ronnie remembered how beautiful she looked, her eyes glowing in happiness, only to be crushed by Ronnie's anger. Ronnie's guilt was overwhelming. The way she treated Danielle before she knew the truth, she didn't want to believe she actually did that.

Ronnie noticed a notebook, a notebook that she hadn't seen before, left on her dressing table. She sat down at the table, careful not to touch anything. She knew she wanted to keep this room exactly how it was. Ronnie got the notebook, and turn the pages over…

Letters, or notes, to Ronnie, from her daughter.

Dear Ronnie

I have decided that I'm going to write letters to you, whilst getting to know you. Sad, I know. Stupid? Probably. Well first off, I'm pregnant, you know this, you took me to my first scan! I really want a girl, to complete us. We'll find Amy, and the four of us, together. Forever, the way I want it. I hope you want that too... I just want to say, thank you, for believing me. I mean, I'm writing this at Stacey's, the last words I spoke to you was 'Text me?' I doubt you heard me though. I'm really sorry if I'm treating you with cruelness, I just don't understand why, who, where, what… but we can find it, together. Even though I don't show it, I love you, really, I do. But it's going to be hard, I mean, you've just found out about Amy, daddy, everything. Must be a bit of a shock. You know, it was a shock for me, being able to tell you that easily. We can get through this. I hope we can. You're my mum right, oh it feels strange writing that. Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum, Ronnie Mitchell = MY Mum. oh dear, I hope you don't read this, imagine if you did, you'll think I'm a right lunatic lol. I should really scratch most of that out. Oh well, it's staying, I like it! Danielle x

Ronnie was in shock, she hadn't known her daughter was writing these, when she was in her room and Ronnie left her to it. She felt even more guilty, wondering if there was anything else she didn't know about her baby. Yet the happiness that her daughter had kept these, the happiness that her daughter had written them. She wanted to carry on, imagine how her daughter felt writing these letters to her.

Dear Ronnie

All I can say is this. Thank you, Thank you. So much. Letting me scream, shout at you. Tell you how I feel. I do feel it, I wanted answers, and you've given them to me, so easily. You told me about your dad, about when I was born. Your dad manipulated everything. And I feel so guilty for believing him. He gave me money from you to leave! But I guess, I had some of you in me (wait, I do, duhh!) and wanted to know whether it was you actually who said this. I wanted to know the truth. I knew something didn't add up, and I was right. You want me! Can't believe it. YOU - the most beautiful, intelligent person ever, wanted ME - a loser in your life. That really hasn't sunk in yet. If you ever read this I bet you'll think what a strange person. My reply, well, you made me! + I can actually say that to you, all my friends used to say that at school to their mothers, and I couldn't to mine. Lizzie was lovely, amazing. She did everything for me. Why does everything need to be so complicated anymore? I hate complicatedness. It is the most annoying thing in the world.

I can't believe it, Granddad. Why him? No, way. I don't get it, now looking back to earlier on last night. Why didn't you tell me before? Why? Oh my god. He did that to you. You know how it feels. Oh it's so hard to take it. Promise me something? We can get through this, it may be hard. We can. Love Danielle x

'Baby, we got through it, me and you, Love you so much. You're my world' Ronnie said, her eyes were streamed in tears. The tears hadn't stopped yet. 'Maybe with these, I wont go back,' Ronnie though, as she turned the next page to see even more of Danielle's fluent handwriting. She loved the fact her daughter saw most things in a positive way. She loved her positive writing. Ronnie imagined her daughters face. The beautiful blonde hair, gorgeous eyes. Ronnie's perfect daughter. Her tears began streaming as she read the next page…

Dear Ronnie

Stacey had this right go at me when I went back over there, she blames you for me lashing out at her. Well, it is kinda your fault, but she doesn't know everything about me. I'm hoping she never will. Mind you, you don't know everything about me, but we're going to change that right? I want to get to know you so much. It's unbelievable how much I do you know? Nahh, you don't. I just hope you're the same about me. I hope you can accept me. No matter how hard I try to push you away, I'll always want you. Always and forever, me, you against the world. Nothing else matters, ohh and my baby too. My baby.. I'm your baby, baby. What does that word actually mean? Baby, my baby, my Amy. Love Danielle.

Ronnie almost laughed. Stacey having a go at someone was never knew. She loved her daughters determination in her writing. 'Baby, we did the best we could,' Ronnie whispered to the paper.

Dear Ronnie

I cant believe you, if you knew you wouldn't of taken me for the abortion. You would of told me to keep it! Two faced bitch. Why Ronnie? Why? I don't get it. Back then, I thought you would always say how you would feel. Saying I was your worst mistake, I thought it was all true. I thought you were giving me truthful advice, how you felt about things. I didn't care when that lady in the hospital called you mum. I Do now. A lot. Danielle.

Ronnie's guilt came back again with the reminder of what happened that day, the day after the long talk, the day after Ronnie had said her life story to her daughter. That day she told Danni at the R'n'R's that she never wanted her to have the abortion. She never meant to call her a mistake, she was never a mistake. Although Danielle never showed her anger to her mum, she wrote it down on paper. 'Baby, if only I knew, we could of sorted it,' Ronnie spoke to the paper imagining that the paper was her daughter. The 20 year old.

Dear Ronnie

I see Jack's eyeing you up when we went to the club for a drink to sort this afternoon out. I'm sorry, sorry for overreacting. You and Jack are the perfect couple, you compliment each other so well. Sorry for over-reacting. I understand, I do. Oh everything is just so confusing. Please Ronnie, one step at a time, for me? Danielle.

Ronnie smiled at this one, she loved the fact Danielle could notice anything even when her attention was elsewhere. She loved everything about her daughter. Her life, her life now shattered because her baby had gone. The realisation had began. Danielle had moved on, to better places, where no-one could hurt her again. Including Ronnie.

Ronnie,

Oh today was so good. Never laughed so much in my life! Well, there was this one time when me and Gareth started playing this wrestling game and then Gareth decided to turn it into a tickling game. He found my weak spot that day. Oh dear. Anyway, me, you, Roxy and Amy. Roxy just making sure everyone notices us lol. Is she always like that? You bought me so much stuff! I'm expecting you to wear the stuff a few times, I think we're the same size? I'll be annoyed if we're not. You didn't buy yourself anything either. You know if there is a next time, please please please, buy something for yourself, you'd be surprised. Although, the best thing about today? You smiling, never seen you smile like that before ever. It made me feel proud, to have you as a mum. Mum. What a word. Now I hear Lizzie in my head 'Mum is a word that has to be earnt' and she's right. I can't talk to you about everything yet. I don't feel ready. It's why I need to go and see Dad, Gareth and the family. Just to tell them, tell the truth. They need that at least. Oh it's going to be so hard telling you in real life. That smile is going to turn upside down in a flash. Oh your calling me for dinner, best I better get off or you might murder me. Joke. Lol. Danielle.

Ronnie's mind went back to that day, the first time they had been shopping together, the four of them, together. Roxy saying 'When Amy's older, she's going to have a wail of a time with us as her family, not going to know what's hit you are you?' Knowing It'll never happen again, Ronnie's eyes had more water in their eyes. She needed to get some water, to stop her becoming dehydrated. But she didn't care about that, she wanted to know more about what her baby had written. More about how she felt when she spent time with her. She remembered when Danielle had told her about leaving Walford to see her Dad and Gareth. How sad Ronnie felt, knowing she wouldn't see her daughter for a few days. The idea she would never see her daughter again sickened Ronnie, so she put it to the back of her mind. Ronnie then realised she needed to speak to Andy, and Gareth, tell them what's happened. She needed to do that soon.

Ronnie,

I'm on the train, having just got the text from you, Roxy and Stacey saying virtually exactly the same message at exactly the same time! Strange. I hope your not crying, I'm only gone for a few days. Don't cry. Oh dear, I'm crying. Shouldn't be. I can't help it. 'Always look on the bright side of life' do you know that song? I don't know anything about you really do I? Am I good enough? Once the next few days are over, We can talk maybe. Depends on whether I'm up to it. Oh the joys of morning sickness. Brilliant. I remember the first time around. Were you bad with me? Danielle.

'baby, I wasn't bad with you, every time I was sick I remembered the reason why,' Ronnie said quietly to the notebook. 'You are the most perfect person ever,' She remembered every morning after Ronnie's birthday, holding Danielle's hair back, telling her everything was going to be ok. 'Must remember the good times,' Ronnie said to herself, as she carried on reading..

Ronnie,

By the way, I've decided not to do the whole 'Dear Ronnie' thing because it sounds too formal, too perfect. And, to be honest, we're not the 'perfect' family. The most dysfunctional one ever at the moment LOL. I mean come on, I have two sets of parents, doesn't get as dysfunctional as that! And your Mum and Dad, well, their not exactly the best in the world. But at the moment Ronnie, you're the best I could ask for! I hope it lasts that's all.

Anyway, get back onto why I'm writing less than six hours since the last one. Basically (into story mode) Andy is like, 'Dan, your not preggers again are you,' almost making a laughing stock out of it. Not fair. Why is it that no-one understands? I barely 'do it' after what happened when I was younger, then both times I've done it since happen to make me pregnant. Brilliant.

I've told him the truth, he respected it. Which surprised me, because I thought he would be like 'Oh Danii, you have me and Gareth, you don't need anyone'. But he hasn't, he's being really supportive. Even wants to meet you. But then again, I can hear him crying in his room whilst I'm writing this. Makes me feel really bad. I don't mean to hurt him. He and Lizzie, they got me out of the worst situation possible, they helped me cope. And then I decide to tell them their not good enough? Oh Ronnie what do I do? I need you so much. Oh the good side I'm coming back tomorrow, but I'm staying at Stacey's. I promised her some girlie time. I need to really. Need to tell her I'm sorry. Danielle.

Ronnie cried at her daughter's caring for other people. Her 'other' Mum and Dad, Gareth, Stacey. So many people Ronnie barely knew. She never met Andy, Danielle said she would meet them when the baby did, so that all the attention wasn't on her! Danielle knew how nervous Ronnie was of meeting Andy, but only Ronnie knew it was because she was jealous that Andy had raised her since she was 11. He turned Danielle's life back around, and she couldn't. She didn't know. Ronnie's eyes still leaked with tears as she carried on.

Ronnie,

Back already I here you cry? Well I dunno whether or not you would of lol, but I was trying to think of a decent opening sentence like we did at GCSE's. Got a B in English Language and Literature, amazing considering I lost all of my primary school education. Better tell you my other grades now, but I'm sure you'll find out anyway. Got a C in Maths, Science Additional, Science Applied (two science GCSE's, and to think I work on a stall), ICT and Religious Education. Can't believe I passed that, it was my lesson to catch up on sleep! My best one though, got a B in Music, amazing for me, considering I have no idea how to read music! I play the piano by sight see, was my way of getting away from things. Until I decided to look for you, I didn't need something to get me away from my problems, I was being a true Mitchell, confronting them ha-ha. I will never be a true Mitchell, you can't pull me in that easily, Joke.

I'm at Stacey's. Bet your shocked I'm back so soon. So glad you haven't seen me yet. Stacey says I look a right state. Long Journey back, with lots of tearful goodbyes, I think Andy realised it could be the last time I was going to see him in a while. I think he understood that I need you. More than ever. He's accepted it, even embraced it.

Maybe I'm writing these to tell you how I feel when I can't talk. Maybe, I still don't understand why I'm doing it. Stacey has forgiven me. She doesn't know everything still. It's going to take a while to even tell her about Amy and things. Tonight Stacey said she's not going to be drinking, a first for her, I think! Anyway, she says Jean's cooking sausage surprise, and let me tell you something, it's different EVERYTIME. Maybe you'll eat it one day. Maybe. Love Danielle.

Ronnie was so proud, so proud of her daughters grades. Yet so annoyed she has only just found out. Maybe this was how Danielle wanted it? Her to know by her writing, not by her voice. She could only imagine what Danielle was thinking up there. She didn't know her daughter. But she knew about Jean's sausage surprise, just a few weeks before the Slater's had invited them over for a meal. Ronnie thought about how she should still keep in touch with them, they were so nice to her at the meal, helped Danielle so much. Believed her when even she didn't. The thought was killing her. So much.

Ronnieeeee,

Oh it was so good to see you this morning, looked like you were about to go on your bike! If I wasn't preggers eyy? On my lunch break at the moment. Ian is giving me right evil looks. I don't care, he doesn't understand why I'm doing this, I don't think I do haha!!

You've just come into the caf, so I had to stop writing for a bit. Don't particularly want you to see this whilst I'm still writing, much rather want you to see the finished product. Oh I'm such a perfectionist. I might warn you about that actually, better I did now, then when this baby comes out. I'll want everything perfecto, your in for a tough ride Ronnie. Love Danielle.

Ronnie wept 'I should of taken you out on that bike, should of shown you the world,' Ronnie thought about all the different places she should of taken her daughter. And even laughed even Danielle called herself a perfectionist, Ronnie went more along the lines of obsessed with perfection…

Ronnie

Been about a month since I last wrote to you, we've done many things, many small insignificant things that actually mean the most to me ever. I'll just jot them down so that I remember them

-You took me into London, just us, and you took me to see Wicked, my all time favourite Musical, with Kerry Ellis in, it was AMAZING, so glad you enjoyed it too..

- Ohh yeaa, when we just randomly went on the tube, and I got my Ipod out, and you actually sang along to Taylor Swift! That made my day that did, made me laugh too. You got all embarrassed!!!

- The first family dinner, ohh that was scary, but you were there, holding my hand, sensing how nervous I was. But Roxy was being Roxy, making sure everyone had a smile on their face's. It was amazing, so caring.

- When I made you sit down and watch the whole of the new Doctor Who! I can't believe you did that. You did it for me. So proud of you. So proud.

- I showed you that I could sing, I could tell, your facial expression was mesmerizing. Mind you, also hilarious. But you know ;)

Their just a few I can remember really Ronnie, it's so great doing random things with you. You just never cease to amaze me!

Lovee youu. Danielle

Ronnie was delighted that Danielle was so happy during that month. All those things they did together had a true affect on her daughter. She loved it. The tears streaming now because of happiness that she had made her daughter happy!

Mum,

In your house again, you've just asked me to move in. By the way, when I say 'Can I go to the loo, usually means I'm writing one of these. Just to warn you if you ever end up reading these, and I'm sure I'll be in the most tragic of circumstance's. Usually happens, it's the Mitchell's on Albert Square, something awful is going to happen right? It's destiny. Anyway, back to today. Curry night, Dvd's Got you into 'Sisterhood of Travelling Pants' and 'Gossip Girl' Oh dear, right teenagers stuff LOL. Glad you liked them, or at least you said you did. Never know with you these days whether you like it or you like being with me. At the moment though I don't care because I like being with you too!! Oh we have such a marathon ahead. With my collection of DVD's in your house, you won't know whats hit you! I'll change your mind about your hate of Doctor Who for sure! Catherine Tate is so funny. Why am I writing this down, maybe it's like the last one I need to, because we're making that big step forward. The idea, that me, you and this one in my belly. And Amy when we find her, become one big family, in time. When we talk, we'll do this. We can. Maybe I'll even change my name to Mitchell. Danielle Mitchell. Woahh, whatta good name. Now I know, your going to be there, every step of the way. Such a big step. This is my to-do list before 2010. Hope you like it..

1) Make sure I spend as much happy time with My mum as possible, because no matter what happens or how it happens, you're my mum. My mummy. The mummy from the locket (I still wear it by the way) and when my baby arrives, all the focus will be on her, in these next few months it's on me and you. Always.

2) Get to know the Mitchell's better, they are my family right? I remember the cleaning times, even if you didn't know now, I couldn't do that job in my state, being sick every morning at the moment - NOT helping things really. Also, this doesn't count, but Roxy is not getting me drunk! No matter ho hard she tries.

3) Work harder on the stall! I know Stacey is going to kill me if I take another sick day off, after everything she's done for me. She was there every time I cried over you, every time I smiled over you. Yet I've virtually ignored her, not happening anymore!

4) Buy some of my own stuff, your not letting me buy anything at the moment, I'm not going to take it for very much longer.

5) See Andy and Gareth, I havn't seent them in a while, but I want you to come with me, we'll have to arrange it.

6) Understand what it's like to see things from your point of view, that could help a lot really couldn't it. Never had to do it before, always gotton away with murder!

6) Finally, get in some way contact with my Amy, my little girl. Born 24th August 2001. Or at least make progress, it's not going to happen before the next ten years, but maybe you could do something, or Jack, I don't know.

Which reminds me, say if I get ran over or something (knowing Albert Square, anything could happen), and you randomly find these in your room. If I'm not around, which is highly unlikely, do me a favour. Don't cry, Or at least do for a while, you need to cry over me, I changed your life! But find Amy, look after her, tell her all about me, She will understand. Hopefully, she has enough of me and you in her.

Also, I need to tell you the truth, the one truth I could never tell you face to face. I couldn't. The father of my baby. The reason why you've been holding my hair back every morning, doing it without thinking 'eww' or anything like that.

Jack, he's the reason why. Jack, he was there after the abortion, he listened, and although he didn't know anything, I suppose he felt sorry for me. Tell him, please. For me.

Please find Amy.

I loveeeeeee youu soo much Mummyyy Mummy Mum Mum Mum. Veronica Mitchell, the last letter I write to you.

Your daughter for 20 years.

Amy/Danielle.

Ronnie knew, from that letter, and every other, she had to stop the tears, think about the future. Find Amy, do what Danielle had told her too. Her life had a purpose, and she didn't need her Ice image anymore. With these letters, she always had her daughter. Like with the locket. Her daughter gone, but her grandchild still alive, alive to be found. And the hunt was on to find her grandchild, at the age of 36, she was a grandma, and she was going to be a brilliant one at that!

Although, ten years later, Danielle's room had never changed, Ronnie had found Amy, now called Katie, and Ronnie explained how come she had been brought into the world. And although Katie didn't talk to Ronnie for about a week after Katie found out the truth, the relationship was now building. And Ronnie was almost as happy as she was during those tender months with her daughter. She's never shown Katie these letters, she doesn't think she ever will, because they were directed at her, it was Ronnie's memory of Danielle. She would never forget it.

One thing was always at the back of Ronnie's mind, Jack. Jack was never told about him being the Dad to Charlotte. But Ronnie forgave Jack after 5 years of Jack sending flowers with apology notes after she told Jack she knew about her sleeping with Danielle. Their now good friends, still co-owners of the R'n'R. She doesn't want anything serious, she doesn't think Danielle would forgive her for that. She just wants to be there for Katie, and, yes, although they have their arguments, the relationship is building.

I really hope you like this, please review it, I have spent about 2 hours writing this, and I really want to to be read and reviewed so that I can say that this is the first story that has actually worked. Thankyouu to all the people who have read and reviewed this story. And Thankyou to Eastenders to give me the motivation for me to write this.