Lost and Found:

Fourteen

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The Alliance thought Commander Shepard was gone. They were right. They expected to find a corpse. They were wrong. Do our memories make us who we are? Shepard/Garrus, post ME3.

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Disclaimer: This author in no way profits from the writing of this story. All characters, dialogue, or other referenced material from the Mass Effect trilogy belong to Bioware.

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A/N: Happy N7 day! Here's a bonus chapter.

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The meadow was a lovely place. Moss covered trees edged a bubbling stream that looked just deep enough to wade in. Beside it stretched a large span of grass and wildflowers. Perfect, Shepard imagined, for a game of tag or a race.

She smiled at Garrus, standing quietly beside her. "This place…" she paused, trying to parse her thoughts. "I don't remember it, but it feels comforting. Like my quarters on the Normandy."

"I'm glad we found it," he said sincerely, taking her hand.

She walked through quietly, pulling him along as she stopped to smell a flower or stroke the bark of a tree. "You know, this would be a perfect climbing tree," she said mischievously.

"No doubt lots of kids thought so," Garrus replied, tapping his finger next to some scratches in the bark.

Shepard leaned closer and sucked in a breath as she realized the marks were sets of initials. She practically pushed Garrus out of the way as she searched among the letters for her own. Her hands stilled as she found her initials, worn but present, carved into the bark.

She gazed at the letters, trying to burn their image into her brain. Her past had always seemed so abstract, but here was evidence. She was here. She was a child, she lived, and she left her mark.

They spent the afternoon enjoying the nature of the meadow, climbing, splashing, and exploring. Shepard held up the day as a perfect memory. Not only did she find a connection to her past, but she didn't have to put on a false face, worrying about how she was seen. Alone with Garrus, she could be herself… whoever that was. She was still learning.

Shepard and Garrus spent days like this, wandering town, visiting Hank Mendelsohn. Getting away to the meadow when the stares in town became too much.

"I want to visit it today," Shepard said suddenly, looking up from the picnic they had brought to the meadow. At Garrus's questioning look, she clarified, "The memorial."

Garrus nodded in comprehension, but wasn't sure what to say. The Mindoir memorial was a monument containing the names of every person who had died in the batarian raid all those years ago. When they first arrived on Mindoir, Garrus had suggested visiting it. Shepard had put it off a couple times, so Garrus had gotten the hint. He wasn't sure what had changed. "Do you want to go when we're finished here?" he asked.

Shepard gave a half-hearted shrug. "No time like the present."

After Garrus ate (and Shepard picked at) their meal, they headed back into town. They dropped off their picnic basket at the hotel and made their way towards the memorial park.

The park was a large green lawn with a handful of well-spaced trees and benches, and a few families enjoying the good weather. In the center was a tall white obelisk with a shorter black wall ringing it. Shepard gripped Garrus's hand when she saw the wall. It was covered with writing and had a door cut into it that led to the tall obelisk inside.

Garrus could feel Shepard's tension as they got closer to the memorial, but he couldn't understand it. She had spoken of the attack so casually now that she didn't remember it. What was it about the memorial that caused this reaction?

When they reached it, Garrus saw that the outside of the wall had the story of the raid on it, and the inside the names. Shepard scoffed when she read the sanitized version of the raid with an emphasis on the sole survivor. She slipped her hand out of his and stepped inside the door cut into the circle. The names of the dead were carved inside.

Garrus followed her, reading the names of strangers until he saw Shepard reach out to touch the wall. He followed her to where she stood, touching her mother's and father's names on the wall. He put his hand on her shoulder, offering her silent comfort. He didn't know what to say, and the silence stretched on.

"I don't know what I thought would happen when I came here," Shepard finally said. "Somehow I thought this would change things. Like I would feel closer to them or…" She sighed. "Do you think they would be disappointed in me? That I don't remember them?"

"Never," Garrus said, around the lump in his throat. "They would be so proud of you, Shepard. For everything you've done. And I'm sure they still love you, wherever they are." He paused a moment, remembering that last conversation he had with Shepard before they'd gone into their last battle. "Meet me at the bar," he'd said. He didn't know if there was an afterlife, but if their ancestors did live on somewhere, there was no way that Shepard's parents could be anything but proud.

Shepard gave him a shaky smile, patting his hand where it sat on her shoulder. "I want to believe that," she said. "And you're probably right. But I just have this… guilt. That I don't remember them or what they taught me. That I'm not carrying on our family name the way they wanted or whatever." She shrugged. "Maybe it's silly."

Garrus turned her towards him, wrapping both arms around her. "It's not silly to think of those things, but I can't imagine you have anything to worry about. All most parents really worry about is that their kid is a good person. And that they're happy." He paused, hesitating. "Are you?" he asked. "Happy?"

Shepard was silent for a moment, looking thoughtful. "I think I am," she said. "Or at least I'm beginning to be." She smiled at him softly. "When I'm with you, when it's just us… I'm happy then."

Garrus couldn't help smiling as warmth bloomed in his chest. "I'm happy with you too," he promised her. "Happier than I ever thought I could be."

Her smile brightened until it outshone the sun. "Do you want to go back to the hotel?" she asked. "To be alone together?" Her eyes twinkled.

"That sounds perfect," he replied. And if they walked a little fast, no one seemed to notice.

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