Chapter 14: Yes
The days, the weeks, the months passed. Battle after battle, death after death, horror after horror. They had found the sacred ashes, and Ashlyn desperately wished Cullen was there to see Andraste's resting place. Eamon was cured at last. They secured the promise of the Elves. And finally after traveling to Orzammar and dealing with the dreaded deep roads, they had the support of the newly crowned King of Orzammar, Bhelen.
Before heading on to Denerim, Ashlyn decided she would return to the Tower. She needed to see Cullen. She wanted to tell him of the ashes and about Brother Genitivi, who she knew could help Cullen with his study of history and the book he was sure to write when this was all over. And she wanted to see him, to love him, to touch him. To feel his arms around her, to feel safe and a peace, and sane. She wanted to make love to him. And besides, she had made a promise to Dagna. Sweet Dagna, a Dwarven child with a brilliant mind, whose passion for magic and the Circle, despite her inability to ever use magic, had led her to give up caste and kin for the privilege of study on the surface.
Reluctantly, Alistair left her at the gates to Tower, and headed off to see Eamon. He had some of his own business to attend to in Denerim he had told her rather mysteriously.
Word of her arrival had preceded her. She was greeted by Irving, who was relieved to see her. He was intrigued by the thought of having a dwarf among them, and readily agreed to accept her into the circle.
"Child." he said.
A chill went up her spine. There was something about his tone of voice that scared her.
"Greagoir would like to see you. Come let us find him at once." He hurriedly escorted her to Greagoir's office.
"First Enchanter… what is this about? Please Irving, tell me." She pleaded.
'Hush Child. In good time."
They arrived in Greagoir's office. He motioned them both to sit down.
"You are well Warden?" He queried
"Yes Knight-Commander. " She tried not to seem too anxious. She and Cullen had decided to keep the nature of how their relationship had developed quiet for right now. There would be much to overcome in the future, despite her changed status, and they wanted to see where their love would take them without outside pressure of interference.
"I know that you and Ser Cullen are… friends, so I wanted to be the one to tell you." Greagoir started. "We have heard some disturbing rumours. A few of our circle mages who were serving with Templars outside the Tower escaped the Blight and went to Kirkwall. The mages joined Kirkwall's the Circle. Cullen received a letter from one of the Templars stationed there. A friend of his, apparently – Ser Thrask. It would seem that life in Tower in Kirkwall is, shall we say, harsh, perhaps too harsh. I know the Knight-Commander there and she is, most zealous in her approach. "
"I see" Ashlyn said, trying to process what Greagoir was saying.
"We want to see if we can bring back our mages. And we want to see what is truly going on in Kirkwall. I have sent Cullen there."
Ashlyn took a deep breath. Her heart was in her stomach.
"I submitted a request for his transfer there to Knight-Commander Meredith. I explained to her that Cullen was a bit too fervent for our approach to Mages here in Fereldon, since our small but devastating uprising. I indicated that perhaps a change of duty under a different command would temper him. Meredith was only too happy to take him off our hands. It appears she believes her Templars too soft.
"What?" Ashlyn said, standing, anger rising."Greagoir, that's a lie!"
"Yes Warden. It is."
She sat down slowly. It was sinking in.
"So you are sending a man, who has barely recovered from an ordeal that words could not even describe, to be a some sort of undercover spy, in a foreign land. Alone." Ashlyn was furious now.
"Yes, we have."
Ashlyn began twisting the chain around her neck. She leaned back in her chair, and composed herself.
"And no doubt Cullen was happy to volunteer!" She could not hide the tenderness in her voice.
"Child." Irving said. "He does this for Templar's and Mages both."
"He left something for you in his quarters." Said Greagoir.
"Thank you both. I will stay the night and I must leave in the morning. The Landsmeet is upon us. Perhaps we can finally end the civil war and the Blight." She said wearily.
When she arrived in Cullen's room, her dinner was waiting for her, honey cakes not forgotten. She began to undress, and saw that one of Cullen' shirts was hanging neatly over his chair. She pulled it on. It was foolish she knew, but somehow it helped her spirits. She could smell him in his shirt and in his books, and on his bed, where on his pillow she spied a small box and a letter.
My Love;
That you are reading this letter fills me with joy, for it means that you are still alive and well. I miss you more that I can say, and pray for your safety.
I do not know how you are feeling about my leaving– are you angry with me? Have I done something foolish? Ser Thrask is a distant relation and was a playmate of mine from my days before my parents died. He is an honorable man. He took a risk by sending me word of what was happening. Things may not be as dire as he says, and even if they are, I am not sure what I can do. I just could not stand by and do nothing if Mages are suffering needlessly, and if there is truly something evil there, I cannot stand by and let my brothers or the good people of Kirkwall fall victim to abominations.
I have left my shirt for you – the one you took from me and wore that night – that special night that sustains me. Somehow I wondered if it might bring you some comfort. Foolish again? And I do hope Hilda left some honey cakes for you.
Now, if you have forgiven me, and have decided my actions are not those of a man gone mad , but of a man who loves you more than life itself, I hope you will open the box, and then read this letter further.
Ashlyn smiled through her tears. "I love you Cullen, and all the more for what you are trying to do." She said to herself.
She put down the letter and reached for the box. She opened it slowly, and inside there was a ring. It was gold and studded with sapphires. Her tears flowed unbidden.
I want to marry you Ashlyn, if you will have me. Will you marry me? I checked my Templar rule book (remember that?). And it is allowed!
I do not know when I will return, soon I trust, and I do not know if you will be there waiting. I had hoped to be on bended knee to ask for your hand. But I could not wait. I wish I could be looking at you right now. I chose sapphires because they are the color of your eyes, and your eyes are the first thing I think of when I think of you.
Whether or not you accept my proposal of marriage – for I would never ask of you more than you can give – I hope you will accept this ring as a token of how much you mean to me. You have healed my heart and saved my life.
As soon as I can I will come to find you. If you chose to write to me, please be careful of your words, because I cannot know who else may be reading my correspondence.
Always,
Cullen
She went to Cullen's desk and found a sheet of paper. She dipped his pen into the ink and wrote one word.
Yes.
She would send the letter from Denerim. Just to be safe.