R.S.: Heeeeey everybody! So sorry i didn't update like i normally do. My Internet was down for a few days and i've had doctor appointments and track meets and classwork make-ups and—UGH! It's just a lot.

I've been on crutches for two weeks because I tore some cartilage in my ankle, so that's also why I haven't really been doing anything at all. And each day I tried to finish this, they would always call me for something else. And school's been tough too.

:( do not ask wish to be on crutches. THEY'RE AWFUL!

Anyways, here's the letter M. Hope you enjoy it:) And I AM SO SORRY THAT IT'S BEEN SO LONG! Please still luv me?

-Rampaging Sorrow

The Alphabet

By: Rampaging Sorrow

M is for Manage (Your Anger)

"Something's been wrong with you for the past six months."

"Nothing is wrong with me."

"Kenshin."

"NOTHING is wrong with me."

"Kenshin."

"Kaoru."

Her light blue eyes show her concern and her impatience as she waits and tugs at her school skirt, the man of her dreams putting things in his locker with no care at all and shoving things back in his bag for the next part of the day. His golden eyes are heated and alert as he slams his locker shut and she spins to him, her black ponytail turning to fall over her shoulder as she puts a hand on her heart and speaks.

"What the hell! You scared the shit out of me!"

"I'm sorry." he growls and before he can walk, she grabs his hand in the now empty halls. The blue and white tiles on the floor are now in his focus as she glares at him and she grips his hand tightly.

"Look at me." she demands and Kenshin dusts off his dark blue pants before he runs his fingers through his blood-red hair and pulls it from his face as he stares into her eyes hoping for it to give her a chill and let him go like yesterday. He realizes it won't work.

"What's the issue?" he asks coolly with an arched eyebrow. The hallways were now empty and the bustling life and school noise was silencing.

"What the fuck is your deal, Kenshin? And don't give me that i'm fine bullshit, either. I don't appreciate the way you've been towards everything we do. Everything. I think the only three things you've been appreciative for is my smile, the clubs, and sex."

Kenshin smirked as he leaned his head against the locker and he looked into her eyes. Kaoru looked away, but as his smirk grew and he bit his lip innocently, she gave in.

"I hate you and your looks." she dryly told him and Kenshin chuckled before he pulled her face close and pressed a gentle kiss on her plump pink lips.

"I'm fine." he replied and then Kaoru sighed as blue met gold and clashed violently.

"If you're having troubles, please tell me. Okay?"

"Okay." he said gently and the two started to move down the hallway. As they walked and looked at the different school banners and classroom doors, Kenshin's inner thoughts built up steam and anger.

His parents had been going through the most horrible divorce imaginable and on top of that, he'd been having the worst year ever. He lost his job, his red ponytail had been cut off due to punishment from a gang fight he had no choice but to fight in, his older brother Sanosuke was in the hospital due to a hit and run, and his younger brother Soujiro was in juvenile detention for stabbing the person who had hit Sanosuke. All of that had went on when Kenshin was visiting his dying grandmother who had passed on three weeks ago from a broken heart. The loss of his grandfather in January had been bad on her.

He just wished the school year was over... And yet, it was only April.

He was failing four classes, his teachers called the house more than their family did, and he was just tired of everybody and everything that had to do with Pacific Point High. He was sick of California. He wanted to go back to the relaxation of Japan. If not that, than he wanted to drop off the face of the earth.

"Kenshin!" his gold eyes blinked in surprise and as he turned to Kaoru, he saw that they were standing in the middle of the hallway and she was waving her hand across his face.

"Snap the hell out of it! You never daydream like this. What's going on, love?"

"I said i'm fine and it's nothing. Let it go, Kaoru." Kaoru gave him a cute glare before she turned and she continued to walk with him by her side. She was persistent and feisty—he'd give her that. Those were the traits in her that made him fall head over heels last year anyways. She was confident, didn't give a fuck what anybody said, and had her own sense of fashion and style that differed from the rest. And the most important thing of all was that she'd always been there for him no matter what. Even if push came to shove, she was by his side either fighting it with him or holding him back from troubles he wouldn't be able to handle.

You couldn't ask for more in a high school girl than that.

Kaoru went to her locker and as Kenshin walked down the hallway and started to come back, a student walking by brushed against his shoulder. Instantly, it set Kenshin off and he grabbed the boy and shoved him into a locker.

"Watch where the fuck you're going." he roared before the small boy apologized and ran off down the hallway. Kaoru pulled him by his shirt and after she pushed him into the locker, she ranted.

"See?! This is exactly what i'm talking about! This is the behavior that's making me worry about you! You've been on fucking edge all the goddamn time! I can't even kiss you without you letting me go because you're paranoid that you're about to get in trouble again! We barely talk on the phone because you're always yelling and fighting with your parents, you get on the computer for 20 minutes and then you have to sign off because some teacher calls the house about you skipping the class that we don't share together."

"Kaoru--"

"Don't 'Kaoru' me, Kenshin! What's going on with you?! Why can't you tell me the problem?! What's got you so angry! You weren't like this last year! You... you were happy. Such happy violet eyes greeted me everyday. You were popular amongst everybody as a 'good boy'. Nothing could bring you down... Now look at you, baby...you barely can see the drastic change in yourself, can you?"

Kenshin never answered and as he moved aside, he started to walk off down the hallway.

"You can't keep walking away and hiding the issue, Kenshin. Even Superman needs his Lois Lane."

Kenshin didn't show that he heard her and he slammed the doors shut behind him as he moved up the stairs. Kaoru cursed gently and she shut her locker quietly before she started to walk slowly by herself to use the opposite stairwell.

'He has so much anger... it's killing him inside and he doesn't even see people are starting to turn away from him... Oh Kenshin, what's going on?'

And that was when she decided that a phone call to her father-in-law was time to happen. After all, he told her everything about Kenshin. What would explaining the family problems really do to hurt anything?

"Dammit, Dammit, DAMMIT!"

He'd been attacking the punching bag for about twenty minutes now and as he swung and kicked with fury, hidden rage released itself and he lost control. His school uniform lay on the side and his upper body was partially covered by his wife-beater. Black shorts bounced above his knees every time he kicked and once he started to think about everything, the sound grew louder and his rage left through his mouth.

"He didn't have to be so fucking wrong to her! She's such a good woman to him! He had no fight to fucking cheat on her like she was some dog he could throw away! (Kick Punch Spin kick) Who the fuck told him he could throw away ten years of marriage like that! She's loved him the way nobody else would! How can some fucking smut ruin their marriage?!"

Kenshin let out a scream of anger as he kicked the punching bag again and it fell to the floor, the chains finally breaking in half after taking all the hard abuse Kenshin gave it. He breathed deep as he stood in a slightly crouched stance and then he stood up straight as he leaned his hands against the wall and he stared at the floor.

'Why is everything happening to me? Why can't I control my anger?... I can't even manage myself anymore...'

Kenshin slammed his fist into the wall and a sound of breaking wood was heard again and again as he took out more anger on another object. He had tears welled up in his eyes and as he cursed with every punch, they began to spill.

"Fuck you!--Fuck you!--You sick bastard!" he screamed and as he fell to his knees, he grabbed his head with his bloody fists and began to scream.

The echo was heard through the room and as Kenshin hit the floor, he gripped the mat the best way he could and asked for some kind of forgiveness.

"Somebody help me... I can't do this anymore..."

While Kaoru sat in class worrying about where Kenshin could be, Kenshin dragged himself down the hallways with a slight sway in his step, his eyes gold and slightly red from shedding his tears. He had trudged himself from his car and as he headed back for the boxing room, he saw the door was slightly open. His eyebrow arched gently under his bangs and he walked inside slowly.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't my dear friend, Kenshin Himura."

His blood boiled instantly and as he stared at the man in front of him, he growled quietly enough for only his enemy to hear. White hair stuck out in rock star directions and a pair of glasses hung on a nicely shaped nose as blue-gray eyes stared at him with amusement. He was taller than Kenshin by at least two heads and the way he carried himself was cocky and arrogant. Kenshin hated his guts.

"What do you want, Enishi?" His words were slow and they were filled with all sorts of emotions that Enishi could hear. Anger, Hatred, annoyance... fatigue.

"Just wanted to use the room. But I can see now it's being taken—"

"—So leave."

And with that, Kenshin went straight for his things and began to move them away. At one point, Enishi saw him flip his hair as he stretched and his smile slid up sneakily as he saw the red around Kenshin's eyes. He saw it as a good way to get into Kenshin's head.

"You've been crying Himura?... How sad. The great Kenshin Himura sheds tears... I wonder what for?"

"Mind your damn business." he snapped and Enishi went on with his string of taunts.

"Is it with Kaoru? Are you two having a bad time? She should be with me, you know."

"Nobody wants to date a rapist." His last word was harsh and like acid as he spat it out to him. Enishi grew angry.

"Rapist?"

"Don't act like you don't know, you bastard. As if i'll forget what Misao had to endure for your sick ass. I hope with all my heart they let Aoshi go from his cell for a few days and he comes to finish you off and kill you."

And with that, Kenshin finished putting all his things together for him to carry out. As he was moving to the door, Enishi chuckled and raised his glasses up.

"A pity what your father's doing to your mother. Cheating on her like that with my oldest sister."

Kenshin froze with his head down, his eyes wide but hidden from Enishi's view as his hands tightened on his bag and he felt a rack of jolts jump down his spine.

'Don't get angry... don't get angry... manage it, Kenshin! Manage it!'

"Didn't you know? He went for a younger woman. I feel so bad for your mother... but then again, it might be her fault. She might be too old to satisfy what dear old Hiko wants."

"Shut your mouth." Kenshin barked at him and turned around while dropping his bags.

"What? Are you feeling angry at me?" before Kenshin could respond, Enishi cut him off with ice through his words.

"Save your emotions for the somebody else. I could hardly care about how you feel right about now. As far as i'm concerned, it's what the bitch gets."

Kenshin growled under his breath and as he balled his fists up as tightly as he could, Enishi began to circle him and continue to speak. His deep voice tore at Kenshin's will.

"You're whole family is falling apart while mine... well, mine just continues to raise up to higher points. Your poor mother's heartbroken at the fact that old Hiko went to find sex and love with somebody else. Guess it wasn't golden huh? laughs And then there's the fact that after a certain "gang" was sent to beat you up, you had to leave for a month this year."

Kenshin felt his body go rigid in anger and as he looked at Enishi, the man gave a smile.

"It clicking together for you now?"

"You sonovabitch... you had me attacked?!"

"Ding ding ding. Point goes to Mr. Himura. And what does he win for this? ... Why, he wins a car accident!"

Enishi watched as Kenshin shut down mentally and he smirked evilly as he saw Kenshin's body shaking in horror and shock.

"Yes my dear friend, you win a car accident that wasn't even meant for Sanosuke. But hey, who told him to drive your car? That concussion will teach him a lesson he'll never forget. And because you lost the chance for the prize, your punishment was Soujiro's lock-up. The driver let himself be stabbed. sigh Life works wonders, doesn't it?"

"You... you did this to us?" Kenshin's voice was barely above a whisper and as he looked up at Enishi, his eyes were smoking with gold around in heated circles.

"You did this for hatred? For family issues?"

"I did this because it's what I love to do. Seeing you sweat, Himura. Watching you tick. It's all a big wonder to me and when I watch... well, it's just fun to see how your little girlfriend reacts to the heat as well. A real shame why she's with you. Hope she remembers that party we all were at a few months back too."

"What did you do to her?" he demanded and Enishi just shrugged his shoulders.

"She knows what I said... or for better words, showed. Boy, can she scream."

That was it. The bottom line had been cut and Kenshin couldn't take it anymore. He didn't even care who heard him. All he knew was that the person in front of him had been fucking around in his life for too long and he wanted to kill. Not even beat up. Kill. He tried to just hold himself back, he tried to control his feelings and his emotions. But in the end, not even he could keep his calm side down from the will to fight.

Every inch of him screamed to attack. And after watching Enishi laugh, that's exactly what he did.

"I'll fucking kill you." he snarled and with that, Enishi was sent to the floor. He quickly pushed him off and after the two rose to their feet and circled each other, Kenshin was first to attack.

Enishi ducked the first punch, but he wasn't expecting the second as Kenshin hit him across his face and sent him flying to the floor. Enishi jumped up and he dodged Kenshin's swing before he raised his knee up to shove it into Kenshin's stomach. Kenshin gasped for air and Enishi raised his leg up to slam it down onto Kenshin's back so he could fall. Kenshin wasn't having any of it. He fell and rolled over before grabbing Enishi's ankle and twisting it with the hardest jerk he had.

CRACK!

His loud cry was heard and as he backed away, he grabbed his ankle and he punched Kenshin across his face. He probably could have broken his jaw. Kenshin didn't stop and as Enishi began to swing with ferocity and anger, Kenshin retaliated with his own swings. Every part of his body told him to attack, to demolish, to kill. And even if his mind was telling him to stop, his heart was beating with angry adrenalin and it told him to keep going.

'This is for your family.'

Kenshin knocked Enishi to the floor with a kick to his face and after he rolled him over, he began to punch him as hard as he could.

"You've fucked up my whole life! Everything's happening because you exist! Why don't you just die?!"

Blood was soon was spilled and as Kenshin felt Enishi grab him and punch him, he slammed his wrist down and continued to hit him with everything he had.

'This is for Sanosuke... and this is for Soujiro... and this is for my mother.'

Kaoru walked down the hallway, her heart filled with remorse for Kenshin and as she could hear him barking at somebody, she quickly ran to the boxing room and she flung open the door. Once she was inside, she gasped as she saw Kenshin attacking Enishi and Enishi's swings slowly dying out.

"KENSHIN STOP! YOU'RE KILLING HIM!"

She ran to him and after she began to pull him off, Kenshin began to struggle and demand to be let go.

"Kenshin, control yourself!"

"Let me go! He's the one that's been fucking with us the whole damn time! My family's a wreck because of him and his good for nothing blood line!"

"You have to control yourself and let him go! He's not worth going to jail over! Please just let it go!"

Kaoru was trying as hard as she could and as Enishi slowly turned to try and escape, Kenshin got angrier at the retreat he was trying to pull.

"Let—me—go!"

"I won't!" she cried and as she pulled harder and gave it her all, something in Kenshin snapped and for once, his heart and mind tried to tell his limbs to stop before it was too late.

"I SAID GET OFF OF ME!"

A loud smack was heard and a cry brought Kenshin to reality as he gasped and he looked at Kaoru sitting on the floor in shock and pain, her hand covering her cheek as she began to tremble. Her light blue eyes looked up at Kenshin with tears.

"You hit me..."

"Oh my god... Kaoru--"

"Why would you hit me?!" she cried out and she began to cry hard from the pain of it all.

"You promise you would never hit me! You promised me that you'd never put your hands on me! Did you really attack me just to finish him off?!"

"Kaoru, I didn't mean to. Baby, I swear I didn't mean to!"

"LOOK AT YOU!" she cried out. "You're a wreck! A monster! You can't even control yourself! You would have killed him if nobody showed up, Kenshin! And I talked to your father! I understand why you're this way, but to kill somebody isn't the answer! It never will be!"

Kaoru shakily got up and she knew a bruise was forming as Kenshin buried his hands into his hair and he felt tears rising into his eyes. Kaoru couldn't even bring herself to look at him as she rushed out the door. He quickly went after her and caught up to her by her locker.

"Let me go!" she cried as he held her and she smacked him across his face. Kenshin flinched as she hit him, but it didn't make him stop holding her.

"Please listen to me, Kaoru! Please listen to me!"

"Let me go!" she begged and Kenshin pulled her into his arms. She punched at his back and she kicked at his shins, but eventually she knew he wouldn't budge and she cried into his chest.

"I'm so sorry... baby, i would never ever hit you like that for a reason... i swear i didn't even realize it was you until I saw you on the floor... Baby, please forgive me. I promise i'll never ever touch you like that again. I swear it on my life I won't be like my father used to be."

"Kenshin, you need help..." she cried gently and she soon began to sob as Kenshin held her tight and he felt his heart breaking at her pain.

"You need anger management... you really do need it... this isn't good for you or for us..."

"I'll take it then. If you want me to, i'll take it and i'll be a better man for you."

"Be one for yourself." she told him gently. "Be one so that you yourself feel better. Not just for me."

Kenshin's eyes leaked out hot tears and as he rested his head on her shoulder, he continued to apologize and to rock her gently from side to side. Kaoru didn't let go and as he kissed her bruised cheek and looked into her eyes, he ran his finger down the other side of her face and he just felt guilty.

"You're my everything, Kaoru... everything I could possibly want and need... please don't leave me alone... I promise i'll get this anger gone and I promise i'll be back to normal. I'll be the Kenshin you love."

"I love every part of you." she cut him off by saying. "Every part of you is something I love because I love you in general. No matter how angry or how sad it is... I love it because I love you... but today, I can't love every part of you because one part of you hates everything. Everything including me."

"It doesn't! I swear it doesn't! If one part of me hated you, we'd have broken up a long time ago. Every part of me loves you and until you see that, I'll get better."

Kaoru buried her face into his shoulder and as he held her tightly once more, he sighed gently with his rocking.

"I'll get better." he whispered gently to her.

"I'll get better."

R.S.: And here was the letter M:) I really do hope you enjoyed it!

I'm really super sorry that this took so long. The next letter will be up soon though. I promise. Please give me reviews? I hope I didn't loose any of you by the long wait! I'll be so sad.

Luv

Rampaging Sorrow

P.S.: My dog turned one years old on the 23rd! Happy Belated Birthday Vincent Valentine:) He's so big now (wipes tears)