At about nine Temperance dropped off a sleeping Beth and Parker at Rebecca's on the other side of town apologising for the lateness, but Rebecca insisted she didn't mind. Temperance vowed to pick them up early before school so they could go to the hospital for a quick visit. Now she was exiting the elevator in the hotel where Booth's parents were staying. She realised half way between Rebecca's and the hospital that his parents were totally out of the loop and didn't even know he was in hospital, they were surprised when Temperance turned up but thanked her for stopping by and let her know that they would stop by mid morning at the hospital.
She walked quickly through the lobby which was dimly lit and had few people around. Once she strode through the revolving door the chill hit her. Autumn was truly ending and an early winter was setting in. Her car was still in the drop off zone and she jumped in turning the key and turning up the heat. Very few cars were on the road and she felt her body fighting against itself to stay awake. She had had so little sleep over the past couple of days and it was starting to catch up to her. She was torn whether going to the hospital was the right choice, she didn't know if he needed space or someone there.
"Mrs. Booth…Anne, its Angela Temperance's friend… you might remember me I'm the artist we've meet a couple of times at their house, I was in that dress up costume on time… remember? Anyway I didn't really know who else to call, I'm so sorry about everything and bothering you and all but things are getting bad, really bad down here she's working all hours of the night and not eating or resting properly. And I think maybe you should swing by if you can earlier than Friday… today? Thanks ok well call me at the Jeffersonian when you get this message, Its Angela Montenegro."
"You're doing the right thing." Hodgins said from the doorway.
Angela put down the receiver, "Yeah, well why does it feel like I'm betraying my best friend."
"It's for her own good… hey she may even thank you for it one day." He walked further into the room and sat down opposite Angela at her desk.
"Doubt it." Angela slouched down in her chair and rested her chin in her hand.
"Ange there are inconsistencies on the rendering and that initial photo that we got from the database." Temperance walked into the room waving a photo in one hand and a sketch in another. "The photo, the drawing and the skull are not adding up."
"Why don't you go home and get some rest let Zach handle it." Hodgins turned to face Temperance before getting up out of his seat, offering it to her.
Temperance rested her weight on the back of the chair seemingly fine. "I'm pregnant Hodgins not invalid; I wish people would just let me work."
Angela clenched her jaw refraining form speaking, Temperance stared Hodgins down but he wasn't going to allow her to let her affect his girlfriend like this. "Dr. Brennan I don't want to sound disrespectful but everyone is worried about you and I must insist that it would be best for everyone if you just went home. Booth wouldn't want you working this late in your pregnancy."
Temperance turned on her heel and left the room stopping just outside the doorway, "don't ever talk about Booth like you would know what he wants."
Temperance turned the engine off once she reached the hospital car park and the car faintly hummed for a second. The heater was off and the cool air quickly began to full the car from the outside in. Temperance reached down on the floor of the passenger side and grabbed her jacket. She left the vehicle and shrugged on her jacket as she walked across the half empty car park to the lobby. Inside about five people were dotted around on the generic rows of seats, some asleep some wide awake. It was getting late almost eleven and only two receptionists remained at the front desk and the night guard sat slouched in his seat a coffee cooling beside him as his eyelids flittered open and shut.
Temperance trudged on and towards the elevators. She stood in the centre of the elevators. Two walls on either side of her two elevators on each wall, above each of the four elevators a number was lit up on the led screen, B basement, 2, 7, and 3. All were on a different level while Temperance was on G ground. She pressed the up button and stared at the screens, the elevator on 2 began to descend, 2, 1, G. It dinged and she stepped in. A wide mirror lined the opposite wall of the door and she looked at herself, she was a mess. She had black panda eyes and he clothes hung limp on her body. The doors shut behind her and Temperance pressed seven. She tried to pat down her hair but instead just lifted her long hair of her neck and tied it up high ponytail, Temperance frantically felt around in her jacket pockets for a lipstick. Finding one, it was bordering on old but it would do.
The elevator doors opened and she rolled her shoulders back and even though she was tiered she tried to hold her head higher. It was late and the hallway lights were dimmed but the noises of nurses chatting and metal trays clanging still resounded through the ward. She turned and walked down a hallway giving a tight smile to a recognisable nurse. She glanced briefly in the rooms as she passed; the occupants ranged in age and sickness. Most were asleep but some were watching TV or reading but none visitors.
"M'am… excuse me M'am" Temperance turned to the voice behind her. "Visiting hours are long over, I'm sorry you can't be here. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Temperance sighed and her face fell, she was just steps from his room. The door was open but the lights were out. Maybe it was best, she shouldn't disturb him. Footsteps echoed down the hall and Cullen accompanied by a uniformed police man strode down the hall. Cullen reached them and flashed his badge at the nurse and told her it was a private manner. She smiled tightly and left walking back towards the nurse's station.
"Temperance, how are you?" Cullen put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and bowed slightly to look her in the eye.
"I'm good, just came to see him." Temperance turned slightly initially avoiding eye contact.
"Good and Booth, how has he been. I've just received the report from the therapist this evening."
"He's doing well… better. May I look at it? You know from a doctor's point of view." Temperance sounded inquisitive and hopeful but Cullen raised his eye brows.
Temperance you're not exactly an M.D, I don't think it would be wise, even ethical. But anyway I was here because apparently there was a reporter here earlier hassling downstairs trying to find out what ward Booth was in, so we've brought in Drew. Drew, Temperance, Temperance, Drew."
The officer offered his hand which Temperance gravely shook, fatigue weighing heavily on her response. So running her hand through her hair and letting out a sigh Temperance turned in the direction of the door, "I'm going in, thank you Cullen."
"He's going to be well taken care of Temperance; I would try not to worry."
"I should try not to worry..." she smiled, almost laughed, "I worried since the day we meet." Temperance took the few steps down the hall in Booth's direction, 705… 706. Standing in the doorway it was the same sight that greeted her earlier this evening except he was in pitch black. Booth was facing out the window but when he heard her footsteps and heard her heavy breathing at the door he turned, to her dark form outlined in the doorway. She could see his eyes glinting in the moonlight that radiated through the window. Light from the hallway leaked through the doorway framing her shadow, it fell across the bed leading a path for her to follow.
He smiled but she didn't catch it. His breathing was suddenly more laboured than she remembered and it alarmed her. Temperance walked further into the room and as quietly as possibly closed the door behind her. The room grew darker but each could make out the semi familiar figures of each other. Temperance walked over to the bed and felt Booths eyes burning right through her but all of sudden she was scared to look up. She toyed with the wool blanket on the bed before lifting her eyes to his.
"It's late" Trust him to break the silence and state the obvious Temperance thought.
"I can go if you want?" Temperance took what he said and defended herself automatically.
"It's not what I mean." He was worried she would leave now.
Temperance reached behind her and pulled the chair she sat in earlier closer to the bed, her hands continued to toy with the blanket, desperate to be touched, desperate to reach out.
Temperance lay on her back in the sun on the deck chair out on the white jetty, the sun was right overhead and she glanced up periodically at the dingy just off shore where Parker, Beth and their grandfather where fishing. She knew they would never catch anything worthwhile but occasionally they got a small fish which they released after the ceremonial picture, not matter how big or small.
The grandparents were heading back to DC tonight and Temperance looked forward to a week just her and the kids. She planned to take them up to an ancient archaeological dig about an hour west where a friend of hers was working on recovering a Native American site. Their mother was different like that, everyday they spent lounging by the lake was equalled by two days searching for native parks and historic buildings. She wasn't sure how much they enjoyed what she did but as long as they stopped for ice cream on the way home and she promised them no ethnic music in the car they were happy.
She heard footsteps coming down the steps behind her and she turned her head to see Anne Booth's mother leading a man down the stairs along the side of the house down to the lake. Temperance sat up slightly and re-tied her bikini at the back and stood up walking towards the two. "Temp honey, I'm going back inside its awfully hot out. I hope you have sunscreen on."
Temperance smiled and waved, "Thanks Anne."
The man in the suit continued walking down to her, when he was in earshot he introduced himself. "Hi Mrs. Booth, I'm Agent Matt Gray, would you mind if we spoke for a moment." For years since Booth disappeared Temperance had had strange agents traipsing through her house at all hours, protecting her and her family, asking questions, and giving news. But every time an agent turned up on her front door her heart jumped and her stomach went to her throat.
Temperance outstretched her hand and motioned to the deck chairs on the lawn. They sat down and Temperance watched the agent carefully for any signs. He was good looking that's for sure, one of the better looking in her opinion. It had been a long time since she could look at a man and think that, suddenly sitting in a bikini in front of him she felt self conscious. During the heat of the day Agent Gray had loosened his tie and rolled up his shirt sleaves. "Can I get you something to drink Agent Graham?"
"No thanks I'm fine, it's quite a drive down here from DC."
"It is, secluded that why we like it. So why are you here?"
The agent was slightly taken back but her bluntness and he had hoped to ease into the conversation. "Up in DC there has been some press that a militant group owned up to the kidnapping of your husband and his fellow agents. But it has turned out to be a hoax; we just didn't want friends and family contacting you and you getting the wrong message."
"Oh, ok well thanks for coming and letting me know. I appreciate it."
"You know Booth talked about you all the time, you were quite the hot topic at work when you guys were partners."
Temperance smiled, things like that were nice to hear but they just made her miss him more.
It came from nowhere, one minute he was composed and somewhat resembling the man he once was but now he was a mess. His chest was heaving and he was crying loud sobs that could be heard loud and clear through the ward. Tears streamed down his gaunt cheeks and his nose ran. He looked like an infant as he clutched his ribs and turned away from her.
Temperance was shocked this was too much; she rose slightly in her chair as if to leave. She remembered who he was; Seeley Booth, Agent, father and husband. No, this isn't who he is anymore, it's who he was. Now he is just Seeley a man who had gone through too much, too much for her to handle. She was torn, to do the instinctual thing, run and to do the right thing, stay. He needed her, whether either of them realised it or not he would never make it through this without her.
Temperance took a deep breath and ran her hand through her hair, quickly analysing the situation. With Beth this kind of episode could be easily fixed by a kiss and a cuddle, but what she was faced with now could not be healed so easily. She kicked off her shoes and pulled off her jacket and climbed on the bed next to him. There wasn't a lot of room and she didn't want to hurt him so she was half hanging of the edge, she was barely touching him. He was on his back facing away from her and she was curled on her side resting her head next to his on his pillow. Her hand hovered over his hand splayed on his chest. She touched it lightly and he reached out and held it. He needed her right now and she was holding back.
"I can't be strong for you." She mumbled it into his ear and he tried to compose himself sniffing back tears, tears of sadness, embarrassment, anger and guilt. He turned his head to face her and she buried her head in his neck.
"God Temperance…" he choked it out and she desperately tried not to cry. Every time she heard that familiar voice say her name it was like torture and coming home at the same time. Her eyes grew moist and she silently cried in his shoulder. Booth was now too proud, too ashamed to do the same. He was in his mind being strong for her, not showing his emotion, but letting her show hers.
They lay like that for hours, she fell asleep quickly, holding his hand and curled up to his side while Booth stared at the ceiling, thinking of the past and present, wondering when it would feel like nothing ever happened.
Hours after she arrived Temperance woke to the deathly silence of the hospital, which was broken only by the persistent coughing from Booth. "Sorry, am I squashing you?" she quickly recoiled back from him.
"Water" Booth rasped out pointing to the jug on the table by his bed.
"Uh huh." Temperance got up and filled up a cup and handed it to booth. She sat down on the side of the bed and watched him as he gulped down the water.
"Sorry" he smiled sheepishly, "tried not to wake you."
Temperance almost smiled, typical thinking of others. "You know who isn't afraid of waking people up?" Temperance paused and lay back down on the bed, Booths hand finding hers instantly. "Your daughter, weekend's she's up at the crack of dawn running down the hall carting half her bed with her, on goes the cartoons which can be heard all the way up stairs." In the dim light Temperance could see that Booth was smiling and he let out a small beginning of a laugh that dissolved quickly. "Next thing you know she's running back upstairs jumping into our bed." Temperance let out a small laugh.
"What?"
"Oh I was just remembering this one time."
"Tell me." It was so sullen and sincere. He wanted, needed to know, like it was the last thought on earth.
"It would have been… uh mothers day? my birthday? I can't remember but Parker was there and they made me breakfast in bed, both of them arrived upstairs, Beth couldn't have been more than four I don't think and Parker would have been maybe 12, 13. They couldn't find a tray and had carried the newspaper, orange juice, a full bowl of cereal, a present and toast all the up stairs by themselves." Temperance smiled, she hadn't thought about that morning in a long time.
"Beth took about two minutes to walk from the doorway to our bed, the orange juice was almost completely full to the brim and she was concentrating so hard on not spilling it. She was so focused on it so intently. I had heard Parker coming up the stairs getting really irritated telling her to hurry up and I would be up any moment, ruining the surprise. Anyway we sat in bed for a while and read the paper, it was… nice. So an hour later I go down stairs and there was just stuff all over the kitchen, you would think after trying so hard to prepare breakfast, that they would consider to clean up but something's never change. I spent the next hour trying to get orange juice stains off the carpet on the upstairs hallway while they watched cartoons."
Booth turned and looked sideways at Temperance. "I wish I could have been there." There it was again, this sincere and serious man that reminded her of when the worked together years and years ago. Once they were together she saw that side of Booth when they were alone, holed up inside on some horrible winter afternoon where he would read or watch TV and she would work, write and occasionally join him. It was times that like, just them when he would turn to her and out of the blue tell her that he loved her. She would smile and elbow him before he stared her down and she would say it back.
"So I guess I missed a lot" his voice was a low whisper, laced with sadness and guilt. Temperance withdrew her hand from his grasp and ran it over his forehead. She raised her head and lightly kissed his temple.
He felt reassured that she had forgiven him, that they could now make memories together. "Tell me more?"
"About what?"
"Anything, birthdays, holidays, Christmas, homework, sports games, haircuts, anything at all."
Temperance let out a deep breath, where to begin? "Ok last Christmas, we went to your parents, as usual. We had just picked Parker up from Rebecca's, we kind of take turns like that, us one year, Rebecca's the next, either way we always spend time with him on Christmas. So we drove up there at about midday, we always open Santa's presents at home first though."
"Does Parker still believe in Santa?" Booth sounded hopeful as he looked side on at her. She didn't answer straight away and he ran his ran through her hair. "It's long now" he quietly murmured. "I missed it."
Temperance smiled into the crook of his neck. "I don't think he believes but Beth certainly does and he enjoys playing along. Your brother was there last year and he brought down this lovely girl from New York. We really thought she was the one, someone from work apparently…I don't know what went wrong but your parents were disappointed it didn't work out. I think they worry about him."
"He's in New York?" Booth was surprised he didn't exactly remember his brother as the big city type.
"Yeah, he moved there about three years ago, got the 'job of a lifetime' as he called it at The Times".
"So the writing really worked out for him huh… last thing I remember was him writing for some column down in oh where was it? I can't remember."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Temperance frowned.
"Sure you do it was somewhere like North Carolina." Booth was irritated with himself why couldn't he remember the small things like where he brother used to live, he had visited him a hundred times yet he couldn't even remember what State he used to live in.
"Maybe it was before I meet him." Temperance suggested.
"Yeah maybe."
Temperance was sitting in the living room reading under the light of a lamp, when she had heard his car pull in the drive she set her book down and turned off the lights at the back of the house ready to go to sleep. Booth stepped through the door placing his keys quietly in the bowl by the front door. He had Beth asleep resting on one hip as he turned and quietly shut the door. When Temperance appeared in the foyer she opened her mouth to speak but she stopped when she saw Beth asleep. Temperance walked up to them and lightly brushed the dark hair away that fell across Beth's eyes. She stood on her tip toes and gave her husband a light kiss on the lips. She had been thinking about them all day, she had come back a day early from the lake house because she had to work and Booth said he would bring the kids back. At first she was weary about him driving such a long distance such a short time after getting his license again.
Booth carried Beth upstairs and put her to bed while Temperance turned off the lights downstairs and followed him up. She paused and went into the study to turn off her computer, walking into the bathroom to brush her teeth she was assaulted by the image of Booth checking on his scars in the mirror, he had his back to the mirror and his head twisted to see. "She asked me how I got them today."
Temperance hung her robe on the hook just inside the door and began to brush her teeth. "What did you say?"
"I said that I was mugged" He bunched up his t-shirt and threw it in the washing basket.
Temperance turned to Booth who was now leaning against the wall arms folded.
"Mugged?" she said it through a mouthful of toothpaste and it was barely audible.
"I freaked, she's only six what do you tell a six year old?"
"How about the truth?" Temperance waved her toothbrush in the air.
"What, that some terrorist wannabe whipped me because I was American?"
"Come on Booth don't do that, soon she will be old enough to realise you don't get scars like that from being mugged." Temperance spat out her tooth paste and rinsed. She pulled off her socks and chucked them into the washing basket. She brushed past him into the bedroom, "are you coming to bed?"
Booth walked up to the mirror again and ran a hand over his face, "yeah, in a minute." He brushed his teeth and when he walked back into the bedroom Temperance looked to be asleep, he sighed and pulled of his clothes, turned off the light and crawled into bed in his boxers.
"I'm sorry" Temperance mumbled and Booth smiled. He moved over closer to her and pulled her towards him lacing an arm around her waist.
"I'll tell her the truth one day."
"Good" Temperance mumbled back burying her head in his neck.
So I'm typing then BRAINWAVE, who watched the Lost season finale. Well I did and it was lets just say AMAZING, anyway for those that what watched it you will know about the 'flashback' at the end, or 'flash forward' into the future. Well I don't know what to call it but I presumed it was a glimpse into the future. So I'm thinking even though my updates are few and far between what if I start mixing up the flashbacks with glimpses of the future now that Booth is back. So I'm excited now! Must continue to write while it's flowing! So if you are still all confused the last flashback is the first in a series of glimpses forward. I will still continue flashbacks and I will try to make it clear but each flash-back and flash-forward should speak for itself in terms of when it is set.
Just a note about the first flashback, I don't want people to take it the wrong way but I do hoped that people got the jist of when it'd set. Not longer after Booth disappeared and Temperance really is in no mental or physical state to be working, her stress is just being taken out on Hodgins there is not real rift between them.
Please please please review, reviews have really slipped and although I can't talk because updates have slipped, I will continue to work on it slowly but surely. If you are lucky there may be another update next week.
I would like to thank bb-4ever for sugessting the idea of Temperance returning to the hospital.
Thanks and I hope you enjoyed.