A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews! Now, please enjoy the rest of fake Harry's POV as well as some weird male bonding. :) And I'm so sorry about the prolonged absence! I'm trying to keep up with this as best as I can, I swear.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. However, I am trying my best to destroy his fictional psyche. It's just fun.
"That's disgusting," Harry protested. Ron nodded in agreement while glaring at Draco darkly. Neither of them liked the idea of this game. Not at all.
"You're only saying that because your wife is part of it, Potter," Draco said gleefully. No one else seemed to contradict this statement, however thick their loyalty was with the Potters. "It's the perfect opportunity. There are just enough ladies missing to let this be a good game."
"It's just in good fun," Dean added hesitantly, keeping a wary eye on both Harry and Ron lest they do something violent to him. "It's not like we really think this about them. It's just a game."
Harry and Ron hesitated, glancing at the room, which did not seem to backing them up. Then they glanced at each other before finally nodding in defeated agreement. "As long as this stays between us," Harry added hurriedly.
"If they ever found out," Ron shuddered violently. Even Draco looked quite disturbed at this possibility.
"I'm rude, not sadistic," Draco quipped back at the two, shaking off his momentary fear.
"I didn't know Wizards even played this game," Harry sulked, still nervous about the outcome of this game. He figured that it couldn't be anything good.
"Oh, yeah," Ron said enthusiastically. "I actually didn't know Muggles played it either. I used to play it all the time with Fred and George." George grinned impishly at the memory.
"We made Mum one of the women to choose from once," George snickered. "Boy, was poor Ronnie ever distraught on whether he was going to kill her or not. Fleur and Hermione were the other two girls he had to choose from. That was rather painful as well." George's grin was far too enthusiastic to be anything but condescending.
Ron cleared his throat rather loudly and turned beet red. "Well, maybe you should start then, Malfoy," he said venomously, bringing everyone's focus back onto what was at hand instead of his embarrassing childhood.
Draco smirked and there was little hesitation in his response. "I would shag Hermione, marry Ginny, and kill Luna."
"You would shag Hermione?" Dean asked, obviously in shock over this occurrence. Both Harry and Ron looked sick to their stomachs and were considering throwing another fit to end this game. Ron was horrified by the idea of his girlfriend sleeping with Draco and his sister marrying him. The mental images it gave him were driving him crazy. Not to mention Harry's rage.
Draco shrugged. "I have my reasons." Everyone stared at him, causing Draco to roll his eyes. "And no, it's got nothing to do with a bloody crush," he stressed, obviously disturbed by the idea. This turned everyone sour against Draco and not for the last time. They understood his intentions and didn't like his train of thought.
George was closest to Draco and therefore he took it upon himself to take the next turn. "Let's see…" George stalled, obviously thinking it over. "I would shag Luna, marry Hermione, and kill Ginny." He made a face. "The incest part of that makes it impossible to choose otherwise."
Dean blurted a quick, "I would shag Ginny." Then, he found that he had to think quite a bit harder about the other two choices and left his thought trailing in the air. Harry scowled at the prolonged silence while Ron once more blushed a deep red. George didn't even look too happy about this and turned to glare at the young man next to him. Under the three men's stares Dean finally muttered a hastily thought out, "And I would marry Hermione and kill Luna."
The game progressed forward but neither Harry, Ron, nor George took their eyes off of Dean for a very long time.
Neville did not seem to notice the lingering tension. He was too busy thinking very carefully about his response. "I would marry Luna," he blushed profusely at this admission, "And…" he trailed away, clearly thinking very hard about his next decisions.
Luckily, and many praised Merlin at this point, Hermione dashed back into the room and hastily took a seat next to Ron.
"Ginny and Seamus are just finishing up with Teddy," Hermione explained, smoothing her robes out without truly noticing and then smiling up at Ron. "It was cute, Teddy was crying because he needed to take a nap but didn't have the blanket that Harry and Ginny keep at their house. So Ginny was just going about conjuring one that was similar to the one that they own and Luna was…"
Hermione's voice trailed off as she caught a glance at everyone's guilty expressions and her eyes narrowed. "What's going on? Why are you all staring at me like that?"
"No reason," Ron said cheerfully, smiling down at her skeptical face. "We're all just a little… you know…"
"Wonky," Harry clarified, sensing Ron's distress. Ron shot Harry a brief grateful expression before turning his attention back to Hermione. "You know. The book."
Hermione glanced at her boyfriend before finally shrugging. "Whatever. I don't actually care," she explained. Everyone knew that she meant it, too.
At this moment, Ginny and Luna returned. Luna drifted dreamily back to her seat but Ginny paused hesitantly before returning to her own. "What is everyone bloody staring at?"
"It's nothing," Hermione said wearily and patted a seat that was between herself and Harry. "Just come sit down." Ginny seemed to think about this before complying, still shooting various men dirty looks. She certainly didn't trust any of them.
Harry looked rather downcast at the presence of the women in the room once more. "Does this mean I have to—" he began to ask before everyone chorused in an immediate affirmative. Harry scowled but scooped the book up again. "Fine." He tried very hard not to glare at Draco or Dean anymore and instead turned his aggression on the story.
Suddenly, as I was running with the tears running down my face I felt something stir within my soul. Acacya was near. I just knew it.
How did I know? There was a clenching in my heart and a dropping stomach. Her presence always gave me this feeling. We had such a emotional connection that we always knew when the other was near. We loved each other that much.
Remembering this love gave me hope and strength. I no longer wanted to strangle myself or hurl myself into the depths of the ocean. (The real Harry seemed to consider these options for a time before moving on.)
I ran down the beach, shouting and laughing with excitement as the feeling grew stronger and stronger. She was close! She was close! ("Oh no…" Neville lamented. "He's going to bloody find her.")
Sophye heard my cries all the way across the beach because she had such keen hearing. ("Like a dog?" Ginny giggled, enjoying her joke far too much. Hermione smirked in approval.) She came running to my side, followed by Tanya Aquamarine. And Ron and Draco.
"Do you sense her?" Sophye cried, running and matching my stride perfectly. She was very fluid and graceful and strong for a woman. If I had not been so occupied with listening for the Acacya radar in my heart I would have taken a moment to appreciate her.
"Yes," I declared solemnly, not even out of breath. All of my football training prepared me for this very moment. ("… Football?")
"I'm going to find her," I promised. "This is all my fault. And I am going to find her. To make sure the sun's light does not extinguish. To make sure that all of the puppies in the world can continue to live with her love flowing through them. But mostly—
Harry turned faintly green and closed his eyes in a brief moment of pain. Everyone else shook their head sympathetically. He was a brave young man.
Suddenly, I felt her most strongly right beneath my feet. I stared down at the sand and then rapidly began to brush it away. Everyone followed my excellent example. What we found beneath the sand was a trap door.
"Acacya is there," Sophye breathed delicately, making my worst fears come true. She had been kidnapped.
I clenched my jaw. "We have to save her," I growled sexily and then leaped down into the hole that the open door revealed. They all followed me loyally, Sophye right by my side.
"Why do they bloody care so much?" Neville grumbled unhappily. "It's not like she's that special."
"But she is their sun!" George cried dramatically, mimicking the style of the story perfectly. "Without their sun they would totally die! Acacya is their air!"
"Oh, don't be such a wanker," Neville snapped back, stopping George halfway through his rant. Everyone raised their eyebrows but no apology came from Neville. Harry just cleared his throat and continued on after a prolonged moment of silence.
It was dark and damp and dark. ("Oh, not this again!") My manly senses were tingling all over and I knew immediately what direction to take us in. Ron and Draco guided Sophye and Tanya Aquamarine down the dark damp pathway.
There were several tunnels, none of which I could see through. I began to feel despair when I was suddenly hit with a vision. ("Oh, of course you were.") Acacya was hiding in a dark, cold, damp cell and was sniffling in fear. She had just been with a man because she was lonely and Harry's heart went out to her. ("She's probably better off with the other bloke," Harry said happily. "If he loves her, he'll let her go.")
"I know where she is!" I bellowed and raced down the tunnel I knew in my heart to be correct.
Harry paused, seeming to consider something carefully. Then, he shut the book firmly This was accompanied by a desperate shaking of his head and a very determined set in his jaw. "I don't want to keep reading."
Ginny looked alarmed and grabbed Harry's arm fiercely. "Harry, what the bloody hell—"
"I do not want to read the garbage where the two of us are together again," Harry hissed, clutching the book safely in his hands where none could reach it. "I refuse to read any farther."
Ron rolled his eyes, walked up to Harry and wrestled with him briefly until he had the book in his hands. He then held it up out of Harry's relatively short reach and read aloud.
We rushed into a dark cell and found Acacya, weak and crying and my heart nearly shattered. "Acacya" I screamed and ran to her side, pulling her into my lap and cradling her. "It's okay. I'm here to save you." Sophye and Tanya Aquamarine were crying tears of happiness. She was safe. The world could continue turning.
Just then, the sound of many running footsteps. They were going to have to fight for Acacya.
"See?" Ron snapped, tossing the book back to a very sullen Harry Potter. "That wasn't so bad." He resumed his seat and sighed heavily, clearly annoyed.
"I want you to read next, then," Harry said and moved out of the way so Ron could sit. Ron glowered and seemed to regret his moment of authority but took the seat all the same.
At this moment, Seamus returned. When he saw the change of positions between Ron and Harry he shrugged carelessly and flopped down into a seat. "I was going to ask another question about Teddy, but apparently I'm done over there." He glanced around before grudgingly deciding on Malfoy to be the next to watch Teddy.
Malfoy blinked, surprised, and began to saunter to the back of the Library. Before he could leave, however, Seamus added, "Oh, yeah. By the way. I would shag Ginny, marry Hermione, and kill Luna."
Hermione and Ginny allowed this jaws to drop to the floor, Luna blinked in mild surprise, and both Ron and Harry turned beet red and began to quake in fear. Malfoy fled the scene, running between the bookshelves as quickly as possible while Dean and Neville tried to keep their composure.
"It was all Draco's idea!" Harry insisted.
"We defended you!" Ron added hastily, turning to look imploringly at his girlfriend and sister.
"We didn't even get to all of the blokes here!"
"I cannot believe this!" Hermione screeched, crossing her arms disapprovingly. "We leave you men alone for just five bloody minutes and you start talking about us behind our backs!" Ginny just glared around the room silently, not saying anything at all.
"Did anyone not want to kill me?" Luna wondered, smiling broadly as Neville timidly raised his hand. "That was better than I expected."
"Come on Ginny," Hermione said firmly, pulling on the girl's hand to lead her away. "We don't need to put up with this." Luna followed the two storming and angry women dreamily, feeling that she should have a right to be offended too if she wanted to be.
Harry buried his face in his hands, moaning dramatically. Ron just stared up at the ceiling, his face once more red to the tips of his ears and down his neck.
"Well, that went well," Dean commented dryly. The other two men did not even have the heart to hex him.
"We are so bloody screwed," Ron muttered.
A/N: Please review!
I don't think this is one of the better chapters. Sorry! :(