A/N: So you might be wondering, "Why is there a new chapter so soon if she said she was going on hiatus?". The answer to that question is I have no idea. I decided to make the switch to Google Docs so that I could write and edit on the go, allowing me to make use of the 30 minute bus ride to school. However, since Goggle Docs doesn't have a word count feature, the chapter got a little too long...ok a lot too long. After thinking about it for a day or two, I reluctantly decided to split the mega chapter into two separate chapters. This one is the first of the two, and I'll upload the second one either sometime tonight or next week.
Tsunade was beaming for the first time in months as many prominent scientists came up to her and commended her on her stellar presentation.
It's so nice to be surrounded by intelligent peers that appreciate my work, she thought happily. This is much better than the hostile glares I receive from other mafiosos.
Tsunade and Verde were the last duo to present at the Vongola SciTech Conference, but their project was certainly the most memorable. After months of research, she and Verde had discovered how to create Flames artificially, and they developed a prototype of a machine that could produce any kind of Flame with a touch of a button. This was the first step to creating the weapons of the future, similar to the Box weapons of the Vongola Guardians, and everyone in the room was enthralled by the world of possibilities that Verde had presented. The scientists in the room didn't know that Tsunade and Verde had drawn on the research done on Tsunade's own condition, but it wouldn't have diminished the impact of their invention in the slightest. Unfortunately, they couldn't use their invention on biological organisms, which meant that Tsunade would have to keep searching for a cure to her corrupted Flames, but none of that mattered to her right now. Right now, she was basking in the glory of scientific prestige.
If I were a scientist, I could really have it all, thought Tsunade as she shook hands with a few Millefiore researchers. Wealth, glory, fame, and the whole nine yards. None of that would be an issue for me, but that would mean giving up my life as a hitman.
Working as a scientist full time would certainly have its benefits, but it wouldn't leave any time for her to go on missions. Tsunade knew that she would miss the thrill of a particularly dangerous mission, or the challenge of planning a tricky extraction. She would be sad to part with her students, her allies, her hus-
Reborn. Tsunade caught herself before her mind slipped up. She was still angry with him for hitting Verde, but she was hurt more than anything else. Reborn was acting very strangely these last few days, and it made her miss his old jibes and snarky comments. As the Puppeteer was getting closer, Tsunade could feel Reborn getting more and more impatient.
Maybe that's why he's trying to tighten his hold on me, she thought, annoyed. I've already given him my life for his revenge. Isn't that enough? Her time was already limited, so the least that he could do was let her accomplish a few last things. Tsunade's research was very important to her, and it wasn't fair for Reborn to take that away just because of his rivalry with Verde.
However, Tsunade knew that the real reason she was hurt was very different from what she was telling herself.
I'm your husband!
Tsunade inwardly flinched. When he said those words, her heart had skipped a beat. When she remembered he was acting, her heart had plummeted. No matter how her heart wanted to spin it, Tsunade knew that Reborn wouldn't be jealous. That wasn't how their arrangement worked. She knew he was anxious about her jeopardizing their act, causing him to lose his bait. She knew that better than anyone else.
Still, it wasn't fair that he was able to play with her feelings so easily.
Tsunade shook her head to dispel her thoughts. She grabbed a glass of champagne off a passing waiter's tray and downed it in one gulp.
"Reborn can go burn in hell," she muttered, slamming the glass down on the table.
"I'll drink to that." Tsunade looked up and saw Verde walking over to her, holding two more glasses of champagne. He handed her a glass, which Tsunade accepted without any hesitation.
"I never thought you would be one to drink your problems away," teased Verde as they clinked glasses.
Tsunade scowled while she drank. "You know it takes at least two bottles worth of alcohol to get me drunk," she said defensively. "A few small glasses are nothing to me. Besides, we put on a quite a show tonight, and I think that calls for some celebration."
Verde smiled slightly. "You're right," he said. "Our invention was the highlight of the night. They'll be talking about it for many years to come as the invention that changed the mafia world, and they'll be talking about us as the two great scientists who ushered in a new age of scientific achievement."
"You might be over exaggerating just a little bit," said Tsunade, though she was amused by the size if his ego. Verde was never one to skim over his many accomplishments.
"Say what you want, my dear, but with you by my side, I feel as if I can accomplish any feat," said Verde, tipping his glass towards her. "Especially if working with you means that I get to see you in such stunning apparel."
Tsunade smiled. It had taken a very long time for Keiko to convince her to wear a dress, but Tsunade had to admit that Keiko knew what she was talking about. After Keiko promised to cover up Tsunade's scars with a bit of makeup, Tsunade agreed to wear the sapphire blue sleeveless dress that Keiko picked out for her. The dress was made of a silk that shimmered under the light of the chandelier, and it felt pleasantly cool and smooth to the touch. Her usual leather gloves were replaced by dark blue satin ones that nicely matched her dress. The fitted silhouette of the dress was certainly flattering, and though the open back design left Tsunade feeling slightly vulnerable, it did turn quite a few heads when she walked into the room.
Quite a bold statement for a married woman to wear a dress like this, thought Tsunade, feeling a twinge of guilt. However, Reborn had been out of the house when Tsunade left, sending her a text saying that he was running an errand and to message him after the SciTech Conference. His message was stiff and formal, drawing a clear line between them. Tsunade responded in the same manner. After their angry outburst earlier today, both of them realized that they had to return to their original professional relationship. However, Tsunade knew that things between them could never be the same, at least from her side of the contract.
"Something on your mind, Tsunade?" asked Verde, looking at her curiously.
Tsunade pulled herself out of her thoughts. "Nothing of importance," she replied with a forced smile.
Verde didn't look quite convinced, but he nodded. "In that case, walk with me for a bit," he said. Tsunade placed her glass on the table and followed Verde, knowing that he probably wanted to discuss the next phase of their research. He's never has any patience for dilly-dallying, but that's what makes him a great scientist, she thought fondly.
"Now that we have the approval of the scientific community and a rough framework of future practical applications of our work, it's time to put our ideas into action," said Verde as the two of the walked away from the crowd. "The faster we can try applying our research to actual machines, the better. I believe we both agreed to start with the machine that can produce enough Mist Flames to create large scale illusions. It's very important that we start drawing up a plan as soon as possible."
Tsunade nodded. "We can do much of the preliminary work in the Vongola labs, but we'll have to wait for approval before we can move on to full scale testing. Experimentation is going to require a wide stretch of space with no civilians nearby. It's going to take a while before we can find that sort of space here."
"These are all valid points, but I have a better idea," replied Verde.
"Let's go to America."
Tsunade abruptly stopped walking. "What?" she said, certain that she had misheard. "I'm sorry, but I could've sworn you just said 'let's go to America'."
"You didn't mishear me, dear," said Verde, turning to face her. "I did indeed suggest that we go to America. I have a few connections there that can give us access to a high class laboratory with all the latest technology we need to achieve maximum efficiency. Also, there are plenty of large open spaces that we can use without the risk of being seen."
"Verde, you know that I have to stay here," said Tsunade. She wasn't sure why Verde wanted to leave. "I have to stay here in case-"
"In case the Puppeteer shows up," said Verde, finishing her sentence with an impatient wave. "Tsunade, you don't have to do anything. You were virtually forced into marrying someone you barely knew while agreeing to sign your life away." Verde reached for her hands, and Tsunade could see that he was completely serious. "It's time for you to take back control of your life."
Tsunade was stunned into silence. Her mind was whirling with mixed emotions and conflicting thoughts. Verde was offering her a chance to escape from her reality, to create a new life in a new place.
"The Vongola's information network is vast, but it's not all-encompassing," continued Verde. "I designed many of the Vongola's security features, and even now we're standing on a blind spot that only I know of. Tsunade, it would be all too easy to slip away and start over. Yes, we would have to remain in hiding for a few years, but we would emerge as two of the most powerful scientists to ever live. The Vongola can't touch you then. I can give you everything that you've been so unfairly denied of: wealth, power, control,
And love."
Tsunade could see the pink tinge in Verde's aura and knew that he meant his words. "You're asking me to choose between my loyalty and my scientific ambition," she said, her head spinning.
"No," replied Verde softly. From the pocket of his lab coat, he pulled out a ring. Before Tsunade could react, he slipped it on her finger just barely above her wedding band.
"I'm asking you to choose me."
Tsunade could feel the strong force of Verde'semotions. He's expecting me to say yes, she realized. Verde planned this moment with a great amount of confidence that Tsunade would go with him, and he was right. Why shouldn't she agree? All her life, she allowed herself to be mistreated and manipulated for the sake of the famiglia. Tsunade was constantly treated as a second class citizen and seen as an embarrassment even though she chose to sacrifice everything for the Vongola. Few people respected her, and hell, fewer people would even bother to give her the time of day. With Verde, she could have everything. Tsunade would finally have the recognition that she deserved. Her intelligence would be used to create mind boggling inventions and ground breaking research that would bring the admiration of the world. She knew Verde would respect and love her, and with time, Tsunade could learn to love him as well. They already had a deep connection, and all Tsunade needed to do was say yes...
I'm your husband!
Reborn's words broke past the chaos of Tsunade's thoughts, and her heart jumped into her throat.
"No," whispered Tsunade, shaking her head. Verde's ring suddenly felt very heavy. "I can't go with you. I can't leave the Vongola."
Tsunade felt a squeezing pain in her chest when she saw Verde's face fall. "Why?" asked Verde in disbelief. "Why can't you?"
"They're my famiglia, Verde," said Tsunade, taking off the ring Verde gave her. "I swore my life to them, and even if they all despise me, this is the life I chose. The Vongola is my everything, and I will follow my mission through to the bitter end. I'm Tsunade Sawada-Sinclair, married to Renato Sinclair, and I will be until I either die at the hands of the Puppeteer or live long enough to see Reborn leave me." She gently placed the ring back into Verde's hand.
Verde looked at the ring, and his look of confusion quickly gave way to anger. "How can you be so loyal to the Vongola when they've treated you like trash for so long?!" he said furiously. "You're better off dead to most of them! You can't even walk to a training room without getting death glares from everyone you pass by!"
"Verde, I-" started Tsunade, but Verde cut her off.
"And Reborn? Don't even get me started on him!" he snapped. "You're literally nothing but bait to him! He would kill you himself if it meant even the slightest chance of killing the Puppeteer. His whole life has become centered around revenge, and yet you are still willing to call yourself his wife and play this ridiculous Vongola-fabricated charade!" He threw the ring to the ground.
"Don't tell me that you actually fell in love with him?!"
Tsunade was supposed to say no. The answer to that question was supposed to be no, she wasn't in love with him, but she suddenly couldn't speak. Her words got caught in her throat, and all she could think about was the wedding band that she almost always wore under her gloves. She was suddenly reliving every moment she spent with Reborn, from their daily spars to their light-hearted jabs to his infuriating smirk.
Maybe…
Verde saw the hesitation written clearly on Tsunade's face. "I can't believe it," he said, his eyes wide with shock. "You love him."
"Verde-"
"You actually fell in love with him!" Verde's voice grew louder with hurt and rage. "You've only known him for, what, 4 months, and now you think you're in love?! That's the most pathetic thing I've ever heard! He'll never love you back, and you know that! Your hopeless unrequited love combined with your absurd loyalty to a famiglia that scorns you makes it sound like that you actually enjoy having your heart torn to pieces!"
Tsunade felt a sharp pain in her chest with every word Verde spoke. "You don't understand," she said softly.
"Don't understand? Don't understand?!" Verde let out a harsh laugh. "My dear, I understand you better than anyone else! I created you! I gave you the powers that make you so exceptionally unique! The reason why you are what you are today is all because of me! Without me, you would be nothing! Without me, you would be simply boring and normal.
You're the monster that you are today all because of me!"
Tsunade could barely process Verde's words. The words, the experiment was a mistake, kept cycling through her head, desperately trying to reject the truth of the words she just heard. However, when Verde froze as he realized what he said, Tsunade could see the overwhelming guilt in his aura. It's always been there, she realized, something building up in her chest. The guilt has always been there. Deep inside, she must've known that Verde had been lying to her, but she always crushed that revelation. She so desperately wanted to believe that he really did care about her, and that he was truly her friend. She didn't want to believe what she already knew. She didn't want to know that she was just an experiment.
We were always his favorite toys.
Something inside Tsunade broke a little.
Verde reached out to her, his anger gone and replaced by apprehension. "Tsunade-"
"No," said Tsunade. She took a step away from him. "No," she repeated. Her mind was whirling with a million thoughts at once. "You did this to me."
Verde flinched, and for some reason, that made Tsunade even angrier.
"You did this to me!" she shouted. Her pain and feelings of betrayal were etched clearly on her face. "You made me into this monster! You took advantage of a 10 year old's naive hope and made her into a human experiment! I trusted you, Verde! I actually thought that you were going to save me from the hell I was born into, but you just made it worse! Do you know how much pain and suffering I've caused because of your 'gift'? Do you know how much pain and suffering you've caused because of your 'gift'?"
Verde looked at her with pleading eyes and took a step towards her. "Tsunade, please-"
"Stay right there!" snapped Tsunade. Verde nearly fell forward as his feet glued themselves to the floor. Tsunade's Flames were leaking into her voice, but she didn't care. "I can never be normal or accepted now because of you! Is that what you wanted? A social outcast who would rely on you because she had nowhere else to turn? Someone who would sacrifice everything to run off with you and help you create inventions that you've only dreamed of? News flash: I'm not that helpless girl anymore. You can't manipulate me the same way you once did. You lost that chance to the Puppeteer. Even though I know he thinks of me as bait, at least Reborn treats me with respect and even some admiration despite knowing that I'm an outcast. You, on the other hand, planned everything to make me a loner. Reborn was right." Her voice cracked.
"I'm just an experiment to you."
Tsunade turned away, unable to face Verde anymore.
"Please, Tsunade," pleaded Verde. "It's true that you were once just an experiment, but you're so much more now. I need you, and you need me, or else…" He trailed off. Tsunade spun back around, alarmed by his tone.
"Tell me!" she demanded. "Or else what? "
Verde swallowed nervously. "Tsunade, try to understand that I didn't know anything about you when I designed the experiment. I was trying to create a human weapon, and I succeeded. However, I knew how dangerous you could be if you became an enemy, so I built a failsafe into the experiment. In the last few years, I've been trying my hardest to reverse the effects of the failsafe, but my design was flawless."
"Stop beating around the bush!" growled Tsunade. "Tell me!"
"Your increased Flame production isn't a side effect," said Verde, unable to look at Tsunade in the eyes. "It's a biological program designed to burn you out before you reach 25.
Tsunade, you're dying."
Tsunade's breath caught in her throat. The world seemed to grind to a halt, and the ringing in her ears grew louder. She felt numb. A whirlwind of emotions flew through her head. Shock. Disbelief. Anger. Hurt.
Is this why the Puppeteer chose to act now? Because he knew that our time was limited? Because he knew that we were dying?
"I don't care if you hate me," continued Verde. "I don't care if you won't run off with me, but you need me to find a cure!"
Tsunade suddenly felt icy calm. "You know what I need?" she said coldly, the full force of her Flames now present in her voice. "I need you to stay the hell away from me. You will never come near me ever again, nor will you even try to contact me ever again. Do you understand?"
Verde was forced to nod, and Tsunade glared at him fiercely.
"If I am going to die, then so be it," she said bitterly. "But I will die as I have lived: for the Vongola. Get out of my sight."
Verde, compelled by Tsunade's power, promptly turned around and left. Tsunade stood in the empty hallway for a second, and then she began running. She flung her high heels to the ground and ran right out of Vongola HQ and into the pouring rain, her legs refusing to stop. When she made it out into the alleyway adjacent to headquarters, the tears began falling. Tsunade slumped against the wall and began sobbing, embarrassed by her own weakness.
At least in the rain, no one can hear you cry.
A/N: Sorry if this chapter feels kind of unsatisfying because like I said, it was originally supposed to be half of a mega chapter. Thanks to , Nekohana, Sailor Pandabear, hikariwhite95, and Guest for reviewing. I really appreciate the feed back!