next chapter. :) i got another review for chapter 11 from Cetacea-of-Time while i was in the middle of posting 12, so that's always awesome. welcome, reviewer. :) i hope you enjoy the story.

now, here is chapter 13! i kinda like this chapter. :)

14. Forever: Papa Roach

*Edward*

Despite the fact that I almost got in a fight with Jacob, that was one of the best days of my life.

It shouldn't have been; it should've made me leave this place and go far away, like I had originally planned to do, but it didn't. Instead, it seemed to seal me down here even more permanently.

And now, I was going mad, doing something completely insane.

I was daydreaming about her in the dirtiest ways, something I had never done before, not in all of my life! No female attracted me, not that I really paid attention to anyways, until Mayze came along.

So here I was, daydreaming away . . . .

Mayze was standing in my doorway, biting her lip in the sexy way she does sometimes, without even realizing how sexy it is. She was in short, tight blue jean shorts and a tight camisole, outlining her chest perfectly. I had to admit. Her ass looked really hot in those shorts too.

The muscular yet slender frame she had, which I found extremely attractive, was completely obvious. Tight clothes were definitely something this girl—angel, really—could pull off.

And now, she wanted me. She wanted to tempt me.

She walked over to me, still biting her lip seductively, and started unbuttoning the shirt I had on. "I'm so hot."

"Yes you are," I practically drooled, like a complete idiot. Even in my daydream, I felt like a corny prick.

She giggled before sliding the shirt off and crawling onto my bed, her ass up in the air as she did this and as I crawled backwards against the headboard. "I meant, Edward, that it's hot in here."

"Y-Yeah," I stuttered, blinking a couple of times as she settled with her body hovering above me, her shirt hanging down to show just the right amount of cleavage to make me want to rip it off her fragile body. "It-It is."

She laughed tauntingly, making me literally shiver in desire. "Don't be nervous, baby. It's just me."

I nodded. For a moment, I was at a loss for words, but of course, I found them quickly. "Right. Just . . . you."

Instantly, her lips met mine in a passionate, heated kiss that very quickly turned into making out and essentially French kissing, very quickly. Before I knew it, she was straddling me, sitting in my lap basically, and I was pressed up against the headboard.

She sucked on my tongue a little, making me moan quietly as she continued. Her lips moved to kiss down my jawbone and then down my neck, something I couldn't help but close my eyes and just take in lustfully.

Then, to my surprise, she sucked on my neck too, hard. It made me jump a little in not only surprise but also pleasure and a strange twinge of pain. Although it kind of hurt, it felt really good.

She was capable of hurting me?

"I need you to help me get these clothes off," she breathed provokingly as she pulled back and looked at me, giving me a sexy, erotic, evoking smile. "It's super hot, and I'm so horny right now."

Instantly, without any hesitation, I started pulling her shirt up, not bothering to move slowly or even at a brisk human speed. Of course, that left her in a skimpy, lacy, extremely sexy bra, but that didn't stay—

"Stop, stop, stop!" I exclaimed, cutting myself off from the fantasy by hitting myself in the head repeatedly and continually blinking.

Rose looked pissed as she turned from Carlisle. "I'm trying to figure out the best way to handle this situation you and your mistake got us in, the best way for everyone!"

I rolled my eyes. "She's not a mistake, Rose, no matter what you say. But, I wasn't talking to you."

Emmett grinned at me. "Were my thoughts bothering you?"

I stared at him for a minute, confused, but then I realized just what he had been thinking. Usually, it was about him and Rose in bed, thinking about his favorite part of their most recent night. But, not this time.

No. This time, he was thinking about Mayze and what she would be like, just to torment me and get a normal male response out of me.

I growled. "No, Em, not until now. What the hell?"

It's working.

"I don't need your help for that, thank you very much," I snapped harshly with a dark glare shot in his direction.

He gaped at me with his eyes absolutely shining, surprising me. "Oh my gosh! Edward, you were just fantasizing about her, weren't you?"

My eyes widened in surprise. How had he realized that with such a blunt, vague sentence? After a brief moment of surprise, I quickly pretended to be confused by the idea and furrowed my eyebrows at him. "Um, no . . . ."

"You are such a liar!" Alice exclaimed, gaping at me. "Gosh! I'm used to Emmett being a sexist pig, but you too? Can you not think of anything else?"

"Alice, I can't help it," I insisted, scowling at her now. "Trust me. I would if I could. But, there's something about Mayze . . . ." I groaned. "This is bad, and really dangerous, but I just . . . I can't help it anymore."

Emmett was still grinning at me though, clearly pleased at my progress I was making in "becoming a man." In his words, the first step was the fantasy.

You're fantasizing about her!

Of course I fantasize about the angel, my angel. I mean, she's perfect. Her body . . . .

What? I'm a guy. No, that's not all I want in a girl, but that is definitely a plus she's got.

"You just admitted that it's a mistake!" Rose exclaimed. "Edward, if you really love this girl and want what's best for her, you'll stay away from her! We're dangerous, and I really don't want to have to put up with you after something happens to her. You've been depressed and annoying enough these past few decades, but after she dies?" She snorted. "It'll be sad."

In reality, we all knew why this was bothering her so badly, or at least the reason she was trying to get me away from her now. When Mayze died, I was going downhill. I was gonna be depressed.

I was following after her . . . but no one knew that part just yet, and they wouldn't, not until it had already happened.

"Rose, I can't," I whispered, shaking my head. "I'm working on it, but it's just not possible yet. I don't have the will power built up yet. One day, I will leave, and I know I should go ahead and get it over with before either of us get too emotionally attached—more so than we already are—but I just can't right now."

"Edward, Rosalie may be right," Carlisle said gently, choosing his words carefully and saying them with certain precision, like he didn't want to hurt me or anger me in any way. "If your intentions aren't to stay with this girl, or to change her, this danger you're inflicting on her—on all of us—is something that isn't necessary."

And he was right; he always was.

"Carlisle," Alice protested softly, but I shook my head, stopping her from going on.

"Alice, he's right . . . ."

"So don't leave," Alice said simply, shrugging. "There's an easy fix to this solution."

Rose snorted. "Right. Great. Let's put her in constant danger instead."

Alice frowned at her, obviously not liking how against this Rose was. "In case you haven't noticed, she's pretty danger prone as it is." She giggled. "Much more so than Bella, which is saying a lot. But, the point is, he's already decided on her. Without her, Edward is going to live eternity alone, miserable."

No I'm not.

Esme was staring deeply into my eyes, something I picked up on in that moment when I heard her suck in a gasp of air. My plans seemed to unfold right before her eyes, and she didn't like them, which was to be expected from my mother-like figure.

"No," she cried, her voice becoming choked with pain. "Edward, don't you dare! You can't do this to me—to any of us."

And then, Alice saw it, and she looked over at me with a truly heartbroken expression. "Edward . . . ."

You can't kill yourself . . . .

Carlisle understood then, and he shook his head. "Edward, no. I will not let you do that to yourself."

"I haven't decided anything yet," I said firmly, giving Alice a firm and hard glare to silence her while I spoke. "But, as for whether or not I'm leaving, unless this gets more dangerous than it already is, I'm not leaving. For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm doing something right, like I'm finally where I'm supposed to be." I grit my teeth together and looked up at Carlisle. "This girl . . . she means so much to me . . . I can't think about losing her right now, or taking away her soul by making her one of us. The point is, being with her, while it may be dangerous and selfish, is right. That's just all there is to it."

Carlisle was stunned beyond words; they all were. Never before had I done something like that, ever. I had never expressed such strong emotions towards someone verbally, and I had never backed it up so firmly. Before, I seemed weak, always saying things like that doubtfully and with hesitation, like maybe I wasn't sure. But, I was sure, and it was obvious when I talked.

I just couldn't leave Mayze right now.

"Carlisle," Esme said gently, which caught everyone by surprise. She had been so calm about all of this before, so silent, but not today. This was twice today she had spoken up. "He's playing again. You said so yourself the other day. Edward deserves his chance at happiness just like the rest of us. Shouldn't he get a chance to get it?"

Carlisle pursed his lips, now thinking what she said through in his head. Of course, in the end, Esme would win. She always had a way of changing Carlisle's mind. We'll tease him of being whipped quite often. Then again, aren't they all? I mean, they'll all do whatever their wide tells them to, and they'll do anything for them.

Just like I was already willing to do for Mayze.

"But, at what cost?" Rosalie asked softly, finally speaking up again. Her voice was gentler, softer, as she talked to Esme. No one could be mad at Esme, or even say things that might sound even a little irritated towards Esme. It was just too hard to do with her being as sweet and caring as she is. "What if something happens and she ends up bleeding? How would we control ourselves, all of us? None of us are ready for that. She smells too good to all of us. How would we save her?"

"I have a simple solution to all of this," Jasper input, eyes sort of bright and smug as he looked at me. Of course, he knew, without a doubt, that this was going to set me off again, and he knew I was going to freak out, but he decided to say it anyways. "If we change her into one of us, there won't be any need for that."

"No!" I exclaimed furiously. Unlike last time, I was aware I stood up. My chair didn't slam back this time, since I slid it out. "That is not going to happen!"

"And you also said you were never going to fall in love with her," he reminded me, his tone teasingly bored to provoke me even more—it worked too. "Face it, Edward. You're going to fall harder than any of us have ever fallen for anyone, and you're going to be all too willing to give her the world. She wants something, and you're going to give it to her."

"Whoa now," Emmett said teasingly before he burst out laughing. His booming laugh was loud enough to quickly fill a room, and it had a great echo too. "Is Edward finally going to lose it?"

My eyes narrowed as a hiss escaped through my clenched teeth. "No! Emmett, are you insane? Do you realize how dangerous that would be? Imagine if Rose was human."

He pursed his lips as his eyebrows furrowed. His eyes were suddenly calculating, no longer humorous. "Well, okay, I see your point. But, that's different. You know how to be controlled. I don't."

"You don't try," I pointed out. "I'm sure if you did, you could control yourself too." Now, I diverted my attention over to Jasper, who was now grinning haughtily at me—clearly finding this all so amusing. Rose, Esme, and Carlisle seemed to be in shock still while Alice just sat there, thinking about that vision she had of Mayze and I laying in my meadow in the middle of the sunniest day, both of us sparkling in the sunlight. It was her proof that she was a vampire.

"That's not going to happen," I said firmly, eyes tight as I looked over at Jasper. "If you're betting on Alice, this will be one time Alice is wrong."

He smirked at me. "Alright. If you're so sure, why don't you put your money where your mouth is? A thousand bucks says you don't keep her human."

I glowered at him for a minute, at least, but abruptly held my hand out towards him. Normally, I didn't gamble. It was usually just Rose, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett. I stayed out of it. Actually, this would be my first time, so everyone was surprised, to the point Jasper just stared wide-eyed at my hand for a few seconds before shaking it.

"Deal," I said tightly. "You're so going to lose."

It would be this way, most definitely. Changing her just wasn't an option, not in my mind anyways. In Rose's mind, it was worse than keeping her human and being with her. But, to everyone else in my family, it was the best option, the thing they wanted me so desperately to do.

I was not going to take her soul away from her.

Why?

Because I'm in love with Elizabeth Malia Swan, and that was how it was going to be forever.

Or, at least until she dies, and then, I follow after her.