Peacing Together
...someone stepping through the ashes and remainder of the flames. He rose... turning to see whom he was almost the most glad to see right now.
"Ger..."
"–––"
My friend.
"Have you come to kill me?"
...hand was on his sword, another holding a gun... usually expressionless, but this time he was not. He looked miserable... wished he could understand why. But think too much and he lost control... He was so sick of living like this.
"I'm so sorry..."
"Don't be."
"...and then what did you to do~?"
"Please, Miss Elizaveta," Ludwig sighed. "I don't feel comfortable talking about dis."
Elizaveta frowned at him, as if she were truly disappointed. Ludwig was not certain what to think about that, other than somewhat disturbed. The truth was he just did not want to tell her that he and Feliciano had thought about running away. This was his home.
He did not want to leave. He and Feliciano would find a way, but by still staying here.
There was a reason to do what he knew he was supposed to instead of what he wanted. His impulses were obviously not always right.
"Don't blame me for being curious about how my boy's first confession worked out," Elizaveta sighed, wrapping her arms around him. Ludwig spluttered, trying to think of a response.
"It vas veird! Ant embarrassing!" He pulled away. Elizaveta looked sad again, but he could see the corners of her mouth twitching, concealing her laughter. She used to be a wizard at such things. Now Ludwig knew he was being able to notice the tell-tale signs.
Ludwig took the first out he could take. Which was heading for the door when he heard the doorbell go off. "I'll get it!"
"Ludwig!" Elizaveta was saying in protest, following right after him. Both of their hands collided on the doorknob as Ludwig opened it.
Hungary slammed it shut before Ludwig could see who it was.
"Austria!" she shouted, sounding very desperate.
"Elizaveta, vhat–" Ludwig started as Roderich showed up at the top of the stairs.
"Spain!" Elizaveta hissed up at him. Ludwig mind ran quickly. Spain? Spain was the Nation that was taking care of Feliciano... Ludwig's train of thought was cut off as Roderich, who had run down the stairs, had suddenly picked him up. "Vha...? Roderich?"
"You talk to him!" Roderich said hurriedly to Elizaveta as he ran up the stairs. Ludwig almost struggled, but seeing himself held over the stairs figured that was a horrible idea.
"Vhat is going on?"
Roderich set him down in his room, not answer his question.
"Stay there!" Roderich demanded, shutting the door. Ludwig heard the noise of the lock. He had never been locked in his room! He had always been told that would be a disciplinary measure! "Good boy!"
"I'm not a dog!" Ludwig shouted, unable to believe what Austria had just done. "Mister Roderich!"
His shout recovered no answer. Ludwig became quiet, trying to hear out the door. He heard a dog scratching at the floor, most likely Aster. But it covered up any chance of him being able to hear what was being said out there.
And when he stuck his head out the window to try and see, Austria threw a shoe at him. Ludwig decided whatever was going on, it was probably best if he stayed in his room. Roderich threw a shoe at him.
Yes, best he stay away from the window.
Hungary was finally coming to realize what Austria meant by close calls. If she had been a second slower, all hell was likely to have broken loose.
It was the strangest thing, being scared of Spain. That just did not seem right. But they both knew what would happen if Spain saw Ludwig. Especially with his hair cut as it was, especially as Ludwig was nearly as tall as a certain other Nation used to be... He would think it was Germany. He would react accordingly. Which, for Spain right now, would likely be lashing out. A full out attack. No, he could not be allowed to see New Germany.
Ludwig was taking the entire situation rather well. He did not ask about it, he did not even mention it when she unlocked his door. In fact, he took it all so calmly Hungary was a little worried.
"Ludwig, we need to talk," she said quietly, as Austria had shut himself up in the living room. He was playing Chopin – loud and expressive. He was not in a good mood. Of course, she knew as much because she saw how he looked at her. She had nearly let Spain see Ludwig. Austria had a right to be angry with her.
"Yes, Miss Elizaveta?"
There he went with the 'miss' again. He always did that when he felt like he was in trouble. Then again, Austria had never locked Ludwig in his room before. Ludwig had never experienced Austria very angry, only strict.
"Sit down," she proffered.
Which is when she wondered. Should I tell him?
The instant answer was no. She could not tell him what she really wanted to. It was not her right, it would be something to discuss with Austria first. The fact he was not questioning more than usual meant that Italy and Prussia (no wait, North Germany, she would never remember that correctly without laughing) were keeping it quiet.
But he should be told soon, should he not? It was not fair to keep his origins in the dust. Especially when he could very well turn out to be that person. He should be prepared for the possibility.
Still, there was something else she had put off discussing.
"When did you meet England?" she asked him. Ludwig looked confused.
"England?" he questioned. Hungary frowned.
"The Nation of England, I know you both have met," she said with warning. Oh, he was not going to keep this from her...
"Uh... I'm sorry," Ludwig scratched the back of his head. "Is he in a vheelchair?"
"That's England," Hungary nodded. Ludwig shifted where he was sitting.
"I'm sorry."
"You left your lands, didn't you?" she asked calmly. She usually did not mind. He would go to Italy's place. That was fine with her. But England of all people...
"I vent to Strasbourg," Ludwig admitted. "I vas curious. Ant he... he just happened to be dere."
"What happened?"
"I... vished him a happy Christmas," Ludwig shrugged. "Ant he started crying."
Hungary felt her throat close up, trying to choke off the tears before they started. England...
"Den he asket my name–"
"He asked?" Hungary blurted out, interrupting him. Ludwig looked shocked by the question, or maybe from the promptness of it. Either way – England asked? She had not heard him speak since when they were all captive in Germany's household...
"Ja." Ludwig nodded. "Ant I... gave him some chocolates I had originally bought for you, but... I figured he needed someding right den, right? I'm sorry."
"No, no... don't apologize." Hungary sighed. "Just... we're going to have to tell Austria about this one, Ludwig." Ludwig grew slightly pale, jaw clenched shut. Hungary reached over and smoothed some of his short hair back. "We don't have to do it now, but... I think he would appreciate it. Try and keep too many secrets and someone might find out all of them."
"Dank you," Ludwig said. Hungary laughed quietly.
"Please, don't."
He should not have to thank her. Especially because she knew Roderich's reaction was going to be very bad.
"Feliciano... vhat are you doing?" Ludwig questioned. Why he was questioning? Who knew. He really did not want Feliciano to stop covering him with kisses, but Ludwig found himself in need of asking the question anyway. It was just a reaction.
The Italian sighed. "You're just so picky, Ludwig!" Feliciano complained, leaning into him. Ludwig snickered, wrapping his arms around him.
"I'm picky? Says the gourmet of all food," Ludwig returned the favour and kissed Feliciano's face.
"What? You want to eat bad food?" Feliciano protested, sticking a paintbrush back in his hands as he replaced himself back in front of his spot on the stone wall. "Ludwig?"
"Ja?" Ludwig questioned, looking back at him.
"Are you sure about this?" Feliciano questioned, gesturing to the wall. Ludwig sighed.
"I... I nee to do someding to dis vall, it's driving me insane," he told Feliciano. "I dink I either vant to fix it, or tear it down, but I don't really vant to do it either... so vhy not paint my side of it? I doubt Gilbert vill mind."
"That's good enough for me," Feliciano shrugged, smearing a line of red across the wall.
The Berlin Wall. Well, it had been in Berlin, when Berlin existed, why not call it the Berlin Wall?
Because it was barely a wall, that was why.
"Blau, blau, blau sind alle meine Kleider~" Feliciano started singing. Ludwig laughed, whether it was because Feliciano was singing the song, or whether it was Feliciano's strange pronunciation of the words, he had no clue. In likelihood, it was both.
"Meine," Ludwig had to correct the pronunciation of the word. Feliciano frowned at him.
"Meine!" he pronounced in the exact same way he did before. Ludwig tried so hard not to smile, but he did not know why he was bothering. He was going to smile. It was just his first reaction to try and hide it. Why? Who knew?
Who cared?
"Meine," Ludwig tried again as he struggled in opening a new tube of blue paint to add to his pallet.
"Meine!"
Ludwig jabbed a finger into Feliciano's forehead. "Meine!"
Feliciano stared at him for a moment before saying it correctly. "Meine!"
Ludwig suddenly noticed the dot of blue on Feliciano's head. "I'm sorry!" Ludwig retreated a few steps, turning back toward the wall.
"Yeah, you better be!" Ludwig nearly winced, until he realized that Feliciano completely failed at sounding irritated, and he most likely was not, and the revenge he decided to get was to swirl some green paint on Ludwig's cheek.
"Feliciano!"
"Ludwig!"
They spent a few minutes finger painting each other before Ludwig realized that not only was it a bad idea, but as much as he liked Feliciano on top of him it was slightly nerve-racking. Until Feliciano started kissing him. Then it was perfectly fine.
"Ludwig?" Feliciano asked him, face in his chest.
"Yes?" Ludwig started stroking the hair at the back of Feliciano's neck, with fingers not covered in paint.
"I want you to meet Kiku."
"I have," Ludwig responded immediately. Feliciano wrapped his arms around him. Ludwig found his body conflicting with the fear Japan somehow would instil in him and the fact he would rather just melt into Feliciano's embrace.
"That's wonderful!" Feliciano said happily. "Then I can invite him over and the three of us can play!"
"Vhat?" Ludwig gaped down at him.
"It's been a while since Japan has come over... but he'll come over when I tell him about you!" Feliciano said, no uncertainty in his voice. Ludwig tried to think of something that made sense out of this situation.
"But–"
"You said he already knows you! And he'll be quiet about us, I know he will! Kiku's really good at keeping secrets!"
"Vhat brought dis up?" Ludwig finally asked. Feliciano shrugged.
"All he does anymore is work and look. He needs a break. And he won't say no!"
Yes, there was something about saying 'no' to Feliciano. He could say it, but it usually never meant anything. Ludwig used to think if he actually enforced it better it might have a short term effect, but why would he want to do that?
What does he mean, 'look'?
Ludwig could not bring himself to say no.
Japan sat down on the park bench with a sigh. If this place could be called a park now. Without people, animals, anything, it was not a park. It was just a place. A very empty place.
His phone went off. Japan jumped, before he remembered that the person he was looking for did not have his cell phone with him. No, that Nation's cell phone resided in Japan's pocket. Waiting for the day that Japan could give it back to him.
He checked the caller id before picking up.
"Italy?"
"Japan! I was wondering if you would come over tomorrow?"
"I am sorry Italy, but I am a little caught up with things at the mome–"
"Don't you say that! You need a break! You'll pass out out there and then we'll have to send someone to find you! Come on Kiku~"
Japan sighed, turning from the trees and grass which made up this tiny plot of land to stare at the cityscape of the completely quiet and desolate place once known as Wichita.
Are you here?
"Tomorrow?"
"...now go and wash off before Roderich sees you!"
"Before I see what?" Austria asked, right before he saw it. And he really wished he had not. Ludwig turned bright red, not that it was easy to see, considering the boy was covered in paint. Austria tried very hard not to react immediately, but some agitation must have showed on his face, for Ludwig looked straight at the floor. "Do I want to know?"
"Oh," Hungary waved Ludwig off. Austria was about to protest, but she walked over to him in that particular way and Austria was no longer interested in what Ludwig was doing. "Remember? I am going to be hosting that body painting festival... Ludwig just was not comfortable with all of the implications. I'm just warming him up to the idea. Which meant more clothes painting, if anything."
Austria cleared his throat. "If that is all."
"I have some body paint on too~" she grinned at him. "I hear it tastes like Sachertorte."
Roderich could never remind himself enough he was the luckiest Nation in the world.
Ludwig felt sick again. Blackie let out a small whine while Aster stood there completely alert. It was just a door. He was supposed to press the doorbell, or even knock. Something like that should be easy. Very easy. Maybe Japan was not here yet. Or maybe he could just run home and Feliciano would forgive him.
Feliciano would forgive him, but Ludwig still could not make himself do that to him.
So he finally made himself press the doorbell. And almost immediately the door opened.
"Ludwig!" Feliciano exclaimed, pulling him in before he could even return the greeting. "Kiku! Ludwig's here!"
"Hello again, New Germany-san."
Ludwig tried to breathe and respond. Thankfully, Feliciano gave him a bit more time.
"Kiku! Today isn't official or anything! It's Ludwig!"
"I-it's f-fine, Feliciano," Ludwig coughed, trying to turn his attention back toward Japan. He managed to turn his head in that direction, but his eyes kept to the wall above Japan's head. "Nice to see you too... Japan."
Ludwig did not know what Feliciano had in mind, but he doubted the three of them could have very much in common. He could imagine the sort of picture the three of them made. A very awkward one. They had both sides of the pendulum, both measures of the scales... and every analogy which made Ludwig continue to wonder why Feliciano thought this was a good idea.
Then again, thinking of that at least kept him from thinking about Japan and wondering why, even after all of Roderich's assurances, the other Nation still frightened him so.
Feliciano had started talking, but Ludwig could not force himself to listen.
Aster let out a slight growl.
"Nein," Ludwig hissed down at her. Aster's ears went back and she stopped. Feliciano was still talking, but when Ludwig managed to look up toward Japan... Was it Ludwig's imagination, or was Japan not listening either?
"Really?" Japan asked and Ludwig managed to try and catch what he was responding to.
"Uh... yeah!" Feliciano responded happily. Japan's expression did not change, but Ludwig was almost certain. Japan had done the same thing he had. Except with style. His fear abated then, if not the sickness it had brought with it in coming. "So let's go!"
"Vha..." Ludwig tried to catch up with what had been said, but found himself at a loss. Feliciano dragged him back outside anyway as he continued to ramble. Only this time Ludwig made certain to listen.
"–so Ludwig and I found my old set and it was only dusty, so after we cleaned the racquets off I stuck them out here!" Feliciano let go so as to open the container beneath the porch bench.
"Racquets?" Ludwig swallowed as Feliciano shoved one into his hands.
"Racquets!" Feliciano agreed happily as he shoved a second one into Japan's hands. Japan looked rather awkward, standing there with the sport equipment in hand. He fidgeted with it for a moment before glanced up at Ludwig.
Ludwig looked back toward Feliciano. He was not trying to be rude... He should have a good time. For Feliciano, at least. There was no reason to feel so... sick.
"Bleib," Ludwig told the dogs as the settled themselves on to the porch. Aster was still staring at Japan. Blackie, however, had not taken her eyes off of Ludwig.
"I've got it!" Feliciano held up the shuttlecock as he started running off into the field. Ludwig moved out on to the grass, but did not notice Japan following. Feliciano threw it in the air, hit it...
And it went flying off behind him.
"I got it!" Feliciano shouted, running further back. Ludwig watched as Feliciano managed to find it and then threw it into the air again.
"I got it!"
The process repeated itself.
"This is always what happens when he suggests badminton." Japan had a small smile on his face as he watched Feliciano in the distance. Ludwig watched Feliciano try and hit it back toward them, only to end up running after the shuttlecock again. Japan set his racquet down and leaned back against the house.
"Dat's... ridiculous," Ludwig stated.
Japan nodded. "Just as ridiculous as trying to return the shuttlecock after Italy hits it, New Germany-san."
Ludwig looked down at his racquet. He felt his sickness abating, which is the only reason he was able to grin at Japan.
"Ridiculous?"
"I–" Japan stuttered over his words. "I did not mean that as a challenge–"
"Vhy not?" Ludwig called as he ran after Feliciano.
Ludwig liked running. He had always liked it. For the only reason that it got him somewhere, even if he had no idea what it was. Ludwig never usually had a destination when he was running. Just to get somewhere. But there was a destination with this. The destination was to get under wherever the shuttlecock was going to land before it really did.
Ludwig liked this game. And if hell if he was going to loose it.
He did not know when Japan finally came out to join, but it was after several falls and a few collisions with trees on his own part.
"You should be more careful, New Germany-san!"
"If I vas, I'd miss it!"
"Ludwig, try not to run into another tree! You're like Aster!"
"Actually, Italy, Aster has been simply lying over there. New Germany-san is worse."
"H-hey!"
"Ha ha! That's true! You should be more careful like Kiku says, Ludwig!"
"At least I hit it efery time!"
Neither could respond to that. Except that Japan did.
"Yes. You seem to hit everything."
Japan was not scary at all when he was smiling, when he had emotion. Ludwig could not even remember what it felt like to be scared of him.
It was afternoon before he knew it. Ludwig only knew that he was tired and when Feliciano leaned on him he really just wanted to fall over. He could not allow himself to and so stayed there while Feliciano used his body to keep upright.
"I... didn't mean to stay so long," Japan wiped the sweat from his forehead. Feliciano let out a long whine and Ludwig meant to cover his ear, but covered Feliciano's mouth instead. Feliciano's complaints were muffled for a while before he finally brought his own hands up to push Ludwig's hand away.
"You can't go now! I was going to make pasta!"
Japan opened his mouth to say something, but then shook his head. "I'm sorry, Italy, but I have a meeting to get to. I should have left half an hour ago."
"No! You're taking some pasta!" And with the strength that Feliciano always seemed to pull out of nowhere, he let go of Ludwig and ran back into the house.
Japan sighed, shaking his head. "Tell him I'm sorry, will you? And that I will be certain to see him for his birthday next week."
Feliciano's birthday was next week? Ludwig could have strangled himself. What kind of a friend was he, not to know that? "...ja."
Ludwig studied Japan as Japan stared back toward the house. What could possibly have happened to Japan to have made him so emotionless before? As Japan regained his breath he seemed to regain his air of indifference and Ludwig began to feel ill again.
Blackie looked ready to spring from where she was sitting.
"Thank you."
"Vhat?" Ludwig looked at Japan. His stomach turned. Japan showed him nothing.
"I was afraid... Our meeting from Christmas could have gone better."
"I..." Ludwig swallowed. He could not think, he did not know what to say. "Other Nations vere... too strange for me. Den."
"You've grown up so quickly," Japan commented. "I... I do not believe Austria-san has told you this and excuse me for presuming so much, but... I was the one who found you fifteen months ago. I would have cared for... Never mind. Austria and Hungary were the best people to care for you."
Japan found him?
"I know," Ludwig found himself saying. For the simple reason that for some reason, he did know.
"Japan... helped us out a lot when we first took you in... He wants the best for you, as Elizaveta and I do. That is why he helped us, so we could help you."
He knew. No, he guessed. Yes, he had guessed.
"I'm so sorry," they both said at the same time.
Ludwig found himself so frightened he could look anyone in the eye for the rest of the day.
Wichita, Kansas
Could not resist the edible body paint references there. The lengths Elizaveta will go to save Ludwig from Roderich... Totally worth it.
As for the badminton... I do not know whether Italians are really good at that or not, that was not my point. My point is that Feliciano is really funny when he is swatting aimlessly at a shuttlecock. Maybe if they were playing a real game with a net he would do better.
This is the odd chapter out, I have to say. I am switching gears here for the next several chapters. You will all see why soon enough. Still, if something is really too weird or too unable to be understood, mention it and I will try and smooth it out. This was probably the hardest chapter to write and will probably be the hardest chapter out of the entire story.