A/N: shorter chapters, faster updates.
Trying to get to the good parts. Stick with me, people!
Chapter Thirteen - Pawns
There's a feeling you sometimes get when something goes very, very wrong, and it feels like all the blood in your veins has turned to ice, and your chest is suddenly very tight and you can't seem to gather enough oxygen to stay calm. Everything stops, and you pull everything apart and put it back together just to make sure you were paying attention and that it is all true…
And Kallen couldn't escape said feeling as she stepped out into warehouse four, and she listened to what Ohgi had to say about Lelouch. She didn't want to believe it, but she knew better than most that the things hardest to believe were quite often very brutally true.
"Lelouch," she whispered, watching him from the corner of her eye, letting her frown fade as her angry face fell into almost a quiet sadness. She'd been let down… again.
Serves her right for trusting him in the first place.
And she'd been so very close, until that bright light shone down on them and she saw the guns, and she heard the Black Knights speak, and then she waited expectantly for Lelouch to tell her what she wanted to hear, though somehow she knew he never would.
He's just said he was glad she was safe, but she wondered if he had been lying. If all along…
"Do I mean anything to you – Zero?" Kallen asked in a small voice, still waiting for his reply. She had defended him, she had helped him get up when he had fallen… she had believed for a while she might learn to love him but right now nothing could be further from her mind.
Everything she had worked for in the past months would be a waste if Lelouch had been lying all along.
And then, Lelouch chuckled, and Kallen heard the hiss of mechanics as his helmet was taken off. She gasped and spun, realising what he was about to do – why couldn't he just lie again? Tell them he was their leader… why couldn't he pretend?
But it was too late, his dark hair fell out and his gleaming eyes reflected the bright spotlight, and he smiled. "Did you think you meant anything to me, Knights?" he said, and Kallen's eyes went wide in surprise along with every other Black Knight in the room. Lelouch laughed again, and said, "You're all just tools – pawns in my plan."
He looked down, and Kallen stared him right in the face, watching for a twitch or for a giveaway sign that he was lying, but he just kept on smiling as he said, "Kallen, you were so useful to me. You were one of the most important parts of the plan – the better player on the team."
Kallen felt the deep shock settle in her bones and she turned stiffly, tearing her eyes away from Lelouch's and she shook as she tried to find words to speak.
All lies, lying all along…
And the worst part was, she wished he was lying now. But she couldn't tell, and she couldn't trust him. Not now that this had happened…
And Kallen knew all about trust.
So she walked away from the only part of her that dared to make a difference. Walked away from the person who had tried to change the world, and who had shared her dream.
Kallen swallowed her burning fury as a fiery hot tear of anger fell to the floor, and she walked away.
Lelouch's escape had been impressive. It always was. Kallen wondered whether he had planned to escape with Rolo – or whether his masterful escape had been a completely and totally unplanned coincidence.
…For once.
Kallen sighed as she listened to Ohgi's report. The sky teams couldn't get a visual on the Shinkirou. It was just like at Babel Tower – able to transport from place to place. Somehow, Kallen doubted this had anything to do with mechanics. It was probably one of Lelouch's other tricks.
Kallen watched as the Knights argued, trying to figure out what to do. The chaos was terrible. They may have been pawns when Zero was the king, but now there was no king… and they had to fight for themselves.
No, fighting wasn't the problem, Kallen thought with a sigh as she put her head in her hands. Fighting was easy. It was leading that the problem was – making plans and having tactics. Lelouch was a leader and he knew how to win. Pawns with no leader had no idea what to do.
Kallen worried about Rolo, who had been piloting the Knightmare, and whether he was in a partnership with Lelouch, or whether, like the rest of them, he'd been left completely out of the loop. C.C. was probably the only one knew actually knew what was going on, and she didn't even exist anymore. Technically.
So who was Lelouch going to turn to now? He had nobody else to fight for him, he had no more pawns. Kallen was sure Suzaku would not fight for the revolutionary teen. No, Suzaku had definitely secured his place in the Britannian army.
And then Kallen wondered about Gino, and even in the mess that she was in, she couldn't help a tiny, tiny smile...
But as always, it didn't last long.