The Scars of War
Author's Note: Thanks again to my beta! I don't know if I should continue this or not, so please let me know if you want me to continue it or just stop here. Enjoy
Disclaimer: Characters and ideas from BSG are not my property
Two Months, 1 Week and 2 Days
By the time we got back to Galactica and got settled in with the ever present press, everybody was exhausted. Bill had asked me to stay on board so that we could talk about everything in his quarters later, but between getting head counts and dealing with all of the formalities with Zarek, I haven't set foot in Bill's quarters since last night. So, looking at the hatch that would lead to the familiar space, I couldn't help letting out a sigh of relief.
After my talk with the soon to be Vice President, I knew that I had to savor these moments of peace before I was back to being the President. It is going to be hard trying to juggle the fleet and down time, but now that I have Bill in my life I will make time for him. As much as I would like to just forget my duties as President and just be Laura with Bill, I know that I am going to fight to make sure that New Caprica and Gaius Baltar never happen again. The two guards outside the hatch greet me and open the hatch after knocking and I offer a quick, "Thank you" to each of them.
Bill is sitting behind his desk as I walk in and I offer him a small smile, "I have to say," I chuckle, "I really missed your quarters."
He nodded before standing up and walking towards the couch, "It definitely wasn't the same without your heals by the coffee table."
"I guess I will have to fix that," I say as I take off the objects in question and place them by the table before sitting next to him.
He puts his arm around me and pulls me into his side and I place my head on his chest, "I also missed this," I say softly.
We sat there in compatible silence for a while, just listening to the familiar sounds of Galactica and the gentle hum of the lights above us. I can feel myself drifting as my eyelids become heavier and heavier. I focus on the fact that I can feel and hear his heartbeat beneath my head and that he is here and alive. I had convinced myself that I may never see him again, and yet here I am in his arms, on his couch, in his quarters, on his ship. It is an amazing feeling that is overwhelming, and I am so tired that I just let the tears fall.
Bill pulls me onto his lap and cradles my head against his chest as he whispers into my ear, "You're safe…It's okay, Laura. You're home."
Home. Something I have been thinking about a lot lately, and I just now realized that I made it.
"For a while there," I sob, "I didn't think I was going to make it back."
"That was never an option, Laura," he says gently.
I look up at him and shake my head, "It was in my head. I kept thinking that if I wasn't alive, they wouldn't be able to get any information and I wouldn't have to deal with the pain anymore."
I could see the regret and the pain in his eyes as he turned away to hide the few tears that I knew were escaping. He was blaming himself for what happened to all of us, but especially to me. I gently placed my hand under his chin and made him look at me.
"The only thing that kept me from giving up was you, Bill," I say strongly, "You are the reason that I am still alive…that all of us are still alive. Don't you dare blame yourself for any of this, Bill Adama."
"I left everyone behind!" he suddenly exploded, jumping up off the couch and walking to the center of the room, "I am the reason that you and Saul were tortured and beat! If I had stayed Saul wouldn't have killed Ellen and you wouldn't have been subjected to whatever the cylons did to you!"
"You also would have died!" I yell back, fed up with his attitude , "You would have been blown out of the sky and we would have been frakked either way!"
We both stay there, staring at each other. By this point I am breathing heavily and I am not sure if I want to kiss him or slap some sense into him. He seems to understand what I said to him because he loses some of the fire in his gaze and decides to rejoin me on the couch. He takes my hand in his and just squeezes it. Neither of us knows what to say. He blames himself, and I blame myself. Both of us trying to make sense of what happened by taking on the blame of something that was out of our control.
"We could just agree to blame Baltar and try to move on from there," he jokes.
"I already blame him," I say quietly and look down at our hands.
"He just wanted to settle, Laura," Bill pulled me closer, "A lot of people wanted to be able to feel land beneath their feet again, and that made them jump at an opportunity that they knew nothing about."
"I'm not talking about the settling, Bill," I whisper.
"Then what are you talking about?" he said cautiously.
"He told them about me," I growl, "He talked to them about the fact that I was 'irresistible' when I was mad. He told them about us, and they made comments about you not coming back. Baltar wanted me to agree to speak to everyone and tell them to cooperate. He wanted me to just throw away their lives, Bill. He didn't give a frak about what happened to everybody except himself. He didn't just make us settle, he made sure that it was a living hell once we were there."
He pulled me onto his lap and began to rock me slowly back and forth.
"I'm so sorry I didn't do more to protect you," he whispers.
"It wasn't your fault, Bill," I practically yell.
"But it wasn't yours either."
I look at him and nod before laying my head against his chest. It wasn't our fault that any of this happened. All the blame rests solely on the shoulders of one Gaius Baltar, and I know that if I focus on that, I won't blame myself as much anymore.
"Are you okay?" he asks after a while.
"I will be," I say, "but right now I am really tired."
"I can fix that," he chuckles and gently lifts me into his arms before standing up, "I believe you will find my rack to be just a little more comfortable than the couch."
He carefully carried me through the living area into his bedroom and placed me on the bed. He then covered me with a blanket and placed a kiss on my forehead before he began undressing until he was left in his tanks and boxers. He then crawled over me to lay between me and the wall behind us, and brought his arm around my waist to pull me against his chest. I hum as his warmth and smell invade my every cell and I suddenly realize that I am no longer tired.
I turn around to face him, "I've changed my mind."
"About what?" he smiles down at me and kisses my nose lightly.
"About wanting to sleep," I gently catch his bottom lip with my teeth, "I believe it's about time we finish what we started a few days ago."
He groans and rolled on top of me, "I think you are right."
I laugh as he smiles down at me and starts placing light kisses all along my neck and jaw. I instantly reached for his tanks, but he stops me and pins my hands above my head.
"You'll get your turn in a while," he growls into my ear, "but right now, I want you to just let me love you."
I can only nod as he continues to work his mouth over the hallow of my neck. His hands move down to the hem of my shirt and soon he is pulling it up and over my head. He didn't waste much time before my bra was gone and he was suckling lightly on my breasts, drawing moans and noises from my throat that I didn't even know I could make. He was sending electrical pulses through my body with each touch, but it wasn't nearly enough. I could feel myself becoming wet with each touch of him mouth, and I tried to grind against him, but he simply held me down and continued to feast on my breasts.
"Bill, please hurry up," I beg and hear him chuckle against my chest.
He sits up and kisses me hard as his hands begin to work on freeing me of my pants and underwear. Soon I am completely naked beneath him and he is working his way down my body to start working on my center. His tongue and fingers were working hard at bringing me to my release, and soon I am bucking and writhing beneath his mouth. He slows down and I look down at him ready to scream at him for stopping, but before I can say anything he is stripping out of his clothes.
"It's about time," I laugh.
Instead of replying, he is on top of me again and slowly entering me. I throw my head back and gasp as he groans and kisses the corner of my mouth.
"I love you, Laura," he says in my ear as he begins to slowly thrust.
I kiss his lips softly, "I love you too, Bill."
We try to take our time but soon we are both lost in the feeling of each other, and we are both close to release.
Bill stops only to roll onto his back so I'm on top, "I always liked this view," he smiles.
I smile back and lean down to take my turn at kissing his neck and jaw. By the time I move on to his lips, he is trying to get me to move my hips again.
"But I thought it was my turn to have some fun?" I pout as he grabs my hips.
"I thought this was fun," he thrusts up into me and I practically collapse on top of him from the force of it.
He continues to thrust into me and I loop my arms around his neck, trying to use what little leverage I have to match his rhythm.
"Oh gods, Bill!" I scream as he hits just the right spot over and over again.
"Yes, Laura!" I heard him groan as I feel his hands tighten around my hips.
I tighten my arms around him and run my nails through the hair at the nape of his neck. I can feel my release about to break and by the way Bill has sped up, I know he will not last long either. He gives a couple more thrusts and I am done for. I feel my whole body explode at the familiar feeling as Bill follows. This time I do collapse on top of him and start to catch my breath. Bill's heart is racing under my head, we are both sweaty and exhausted, but I couldn't be happier. As we begin to drift off to sleep, I feel him begin to run his hands up and down my back before he pulls the previously discarded blanket over us.
"Laura?" he says as he pulls me into his arms.
"Hmmm?" I hum back as I settle into his arms.
"There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about."
I pull away from him enough to be able to see his eyes, "Okay."
"A little while after the ground breaking, I wanted to ask you something," he leaned over me to reach into the drawer of the nightstand by the bed, "I had some of Tyrol's men make something out of some minerals and things I gave them. I was only waiting for the right time to ask you, but before I could, everything went to hell. When I saw you again, all I could think about was not asking you sooner."
I was thoroughly confused by this point and I still couldn't see what he had grabbed out of the nightstand.
"I know that soon we are both going to be busy with our own responsibilities, but I don't want what we have to end because of them. Only being able to hear you over the comm and having to get reports from Saul and Cottle about the injuries you were treated for, is not something I want to go through again. I love you, Laura, and I want to be able to show you that no matter where we are or who is around."
I look down at his hand a see that he is holding a small metal box in his hands. When he pulls back the lid, my breath catches in my throat. A simple gold band with a single diamond and two red jewels was sitting in the box.
"Bill…" I gasp and start to cry as it finally registers in my mind what is going on.
"I know it's not much, and I have no clue what kind of jewels these are, but Laura Roslin," he took the ring out of the box and looked straight at me, "Will you marry me?"
I sit up just enough to kiss his lips softly, "Yes," I say before kissing him again.
He takes my hand and places the ring on my finger before kissing my hand and smiling down at me.
I look down at the ring and can't believe he was able to have one made, "I love this ring, Bill."
"Are you sure?" he says as he takes my hand and looks at the ring.
"It's more than I could have ever asked for," I place my hand on his cheek, "It is beautiful, Bill. Where did you ever find the gold to make this?"
"I decided to make a few changes," he said and he showed me his left hand.
As I look at his hand I realize that his old wedding ring is gone and all that is left is a patch of slightly lighter skin. I look at him with shock evident on my face, and all he can do is chuckle.
"But that was y-your ring," I stutter, "I thought-"
"Now, it's ours," he smiled before pointing to the nightstand, "There is another box in there that looks like this one."
I quickly throw open the drawer and dig through it until my hand finds the box he mentioned. I pull is out and open it up and see two more gold rings, one slightly larger than the other.
"I had them make your engagement ring out of pure gold and use what was left and a mixture of a couple other metals to make these two wedding bands. I also asked them to add something to them," he pointed down at the box.
I smiled down at the simple bands and took them out to get a closer look. On the inside of each one was an engraving, but without my glasses, I can't really read them.
"What do you think?" he says gently.
"If I had my glasses I could tell you," I laugh and he just shakes his head.
"The engraving on yours says 'Sine Qua Non' and mine says 'Without Which Not.' I figured it would be a good engraving for us," he says softly.
"I love it," I smile through my tears.
"I'm glad," he kisses me again before putting the rings back on the nightstand, "I think we should maybe get some sleep, or else you are going to be really irritable tomorrow while dealing with everything."
I smack his chest at his remark but he only chuckles and turns of the lamp before pulling me flat against his chest. I rest my hand on his chest and my head on his shoulder and I am out in minutes. We both slept soundly and when morning came we were both refreshed and ready to start the day. Bill was up before I was and made breakfast for the both of us, which he brought to bed for us to eat.
"How are you this morning?" he smiled at he slowly started to pull the sheet away from my naked body.
I rolled my eyes and swatted his hand away, "Actually, I don't think I've slept that well in a while."
"I'm happy to help," he cleared the plate away and spun around to quickly pick me up, sheet and all.
"Bill! What are you doing?" I giggled as he headed in the direction of the bathroom.
"I am going to make sure that my beautiful fiancé is clean, refreshed and ready to start the day," he said simply as he turned on the shower.
I was now giggling like a fool, "What about this sheet?" I gestured to my attire for the morning.
He just shrugged and walked into the shower, "It needed to be washed anyway."
"And your boxers, too?" I shriek as the water cascades down around us.
"Yep," he smiled and let me go so that he could unwrap me from the now soaking sheet.
"I love you, Bill Adama," I laugh.
"And I love you, Laura Roslin," he grabbed me around the waist and began tickling my sides.
I try to get away but soon I am begging for mercy and he is just holding me as we stared at each other.
"You were wrong," I say softly.
"About what?" he looks down at me as the water continues to pour down on us.
"It should be, 'And I love you, Laura Adama'," I smile up at him and before I know it he is kissing me deeply and we are making love in the shower. I am really going to love being Mrs. Laura Adama.
THE END
Author's Note: So I don't know if I should continue this and rewrite the rest of the series or if I should leave it here. Please let me know if you want me to continue or not