Chapter Fourteen

It was nearly noon by the time the Partridge Family and their hosts finally reached the lake. The kids were instantly shooed off to swim in the water as the tired parents laid down blankets and gathered around the picnic basket for a soda pop and some peaceful conversation.

Cheri wandered off alone and over to a fallen tree to slip out of her sandals. She watched as the two youngest children hurriedly stripped down to their swimming suits and ran for the water. Danny followed in suit and Laurie barked orders about being careful not to wander too far from shore. Cheri smiled as she watched them. Seeing them all together made her wonder what it would be like if she had siblings. The thought bothered her for a moment and she thought it over as she pulled off her shoes. She had never wanted a brother or sister before. Why did it seem so important now?

Maybe it seemed important because she was lonely? She looked down at her feet and wiggled her toes. She hated to admit it, but Cheri felt the dire need to talk to someone. Someone she knew she could trust. Someone who wasn't her Dad. Someone who would understand her feelings and stop telling her that she was wrong. But she was wrong. Cheri knew that now. It was just so hard to let go.

Picking a dandelion off a nearby plant, Cheri twirled it around in her fingers thoughtfully. She had always loved the yellow blossoms and never understood why they were called weeds. To her, they were a symbol of strength. An invincible race. She longed for a strength of her own; the power to finally let go of previous events and get on with her life. But it was still so much easier to dwell in the past. It was so hard to forget.

She sighed, closing her eyes as she brushed the flower across her face. It was one of those rare moments when she felt somewhat at peace. Surrounded by beauty, she finally felt like she could relax, even if just for a short while. Nature always seemed to do that to her.

"Hey, Cheri?"

All the peace suddenly disappeared as Keith stepped into view. She looked away from him quickly, struggling with a decision she didn't want to make. What should she do? How should she react? Half of her wanted to get up and walk away without a word, and yet, the other half was telling her to be strong, stay, and talk it out. Maybe the second inkling was right? She had been putting it off long enough, it was time she faced the music. She couldn't run away any longer… or could she?

"Cheri? Please, I think we need to talk." Keith must have known what she was thinking, because he instantly blocked her way. There was no escaping for Cheri. She would have to stay.

She took a deep breath and let it our slowly, "Okay." The normality of her voice surprised her. It was almost scary how she suddenly felt so calm. All her feelings of anxiety were now reduced to a couple of knots twisting in her stomach. If he moves, I still have the opportunity to leave, just in case.

But Keith didn't budge. She was trapped. "Promise you won't run away?" His voice was firm, yet gentle. He was serious. She knew he wouldn't let her walk away this time, at least not until he had gotten whatever it was he was thinking of, off his mind.

Cheri frowned. "I promise."

"Good."

Cheri watched as he claimed the space on the fallen tree beside her. He stretched his legs out in front of him and crossed his arms over his chest. He seemed so relaxed; it almost made her mad to see him that way. She decided to put these feelings aside. "So…what did you want to talk about?"

His answer surprised her. "Anything." He shrugged.

"Anything?"

"Yeah. Anything." He turned to her and braved a smile. She could tell he was trying to avoid the inevitable subject that was on both of their minds, but that smile was just so perfect.

A knot in Cheri's stomach tightened; but this time, it wasn't an anger or even a sad kind of pain, it was something different. Something Cheri hadn't felt for a very long time. His smile had opened up a multitude of old and new feelings, all of which Cheri thought she had thrown out a long time ago. I need to be strong. I have to think clearly when we talk this out. I can't fall for him now. I need to be true to myself. I mustn't crumble.

"Okay." Normal again. Cheri almost thought herself an actress. "Anything…" She tried to think of something to talk about that wasn't painful or angering, but wasn't as tacky as talking about the weather or times at school. Why can't conversation come as easy as it did this morning in the kitchen?

"I was thinking," Keith cut in, interrupting her thoughts, "That… I don't know… that maybe you'd consider being friends again." He picked at some green moss growing nearby. "I mean, being back at the farm and all, has reminded me so much about how it used to be. You and me and our music and all those games we played and adventures we went on, I really miss it Cheri."

So do I. Cheri's frown deepened as she realized all the truth in those unspoken words. She truly did miss all the good times they shared. She had missed it for a long time. Between all the anger and the tears she still longed for what had been and what she wished could still be.

Keith went on, "When I first got here, I couldn't understand why I felt so weird, like I shouldn't come back to you. And then, when we got here, I couldn't figure out why you hated me so much…"

Cheri bit her lower lip and watched as he picked more moss from off the rotting log.

"It didn't really hit me until our little fall out in the sunflower field. After you left, I just sort of laid there for a while and pondered, and then… I remembered what happened." He stopped what he was doing and looked up at her, as if waiting for her to say something.

But Cheri didn't know what to say. Was this an apology? Had he really been so oblivious before and all her anger and tears had been misunderstood? It just didn't make sense. What was there to say?

It seemed as if Keith knew. He cleared his throat. "Cheri? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I never did. I guess, back then, I was just too caught up in myself to notice what was happening to the people around me, especially those I cared a lot about."

Cheri pursed her lips, thinking silently for a moment. Sorry? He had apologized and she knew that he meant it, but for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to say that she forgave him. All the years of hurt, anger, and sadness just seemed like too much to let go of with three little words. She technically could say it, but Cheri didn't want to say anything until she really meant it.

"So, I guess what I'm asking is…" Keith continued, "…friends?" He held out a hand to her, waiting for her to shake it.

Cheri hated to disappoint him, but she just couldn't bring herself to agree. "I think we're being called for lunch." She said instead, standing from her place on the log and shrugging at him before looking back over at the parents. Her mother was just beginning to lay out all the food and beverages. It was time to go. She took a deep breath and walked away.

Keith didn't say anything and he didn't chase her.

And Cheri didn't look back, but as she walked away, she guiltily fingered the ring on her right hand and a feeling of regret settled in the pit of her stomach. What do I do now?