A Year And A Day Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Supernatural, Kripke & the CW do - and they won't share - no fair!

A/N Have to apologise in advance for any baby / pregnancy errors. I am sure that some readers are parents or aunts & uncles etc - but I'm not so forgive any inaccuracies.

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"I don't think that Dean's going to want any breakfast this morning Missouri. He's a little under the weather" said Sam with a wince. He always hated to see his brother suffer, even when the reason was obvious and natural.

"Morning sickness?" She nodded at Sam's affirmative. She had hoped that not being a real girl he might get away with it. "I'll make some dry toast and some of my ginger tea, that should help some."

"I'm sure he'll appreciate that." Sam didn't mention that that was probably the only thing he would appreciate at the moment since Sam hadn't been able to get a word out of him that didn't involve a lexicon of swear words and a few tears which he pretended he hadn't seen.

Sam sat down at the table as Missouri placed a plate of pancakes in front of him. Having passed them in the hall Sam knew that Caleb and Bobby had already eaten and he hadn't heard any sign of Ellen Joe or Jim, who had booked into the bed and breakfast down the street.

Missouri sighed as she saw the worried little frown set up home between Sam's eyebrows; she would bet the farm that it was to become a permanent fixture for the next few months. Still, it was better than the angry scowl or disapproving sneer he had been wearing these last weeks.

When Dean did finally drag himself downstairs it was to face the terrible truth. An event so awesome in it's tragedy, so profound that it put most of the past few days into shadow with it's burning brightness. How!? How could his, albeit borrowed, body betray him so! How could his lifeblood suddenly seem like dead man's blood to him.

How the hell could the ambrosial smell of coffee make him nauseous!?

"Coffee?" Sam's inquiry was innocent and pure in intent. The glare he received in return would kill an angel stone dead.

"Ah." Sam didn't know how that little wordless exhalation of air could make things worse but he winced as his brother slammed his head half heartedly down onto the kitchen table and covered it with his hands, shutting out the cruel world and the smell of the coffee. Sam looked on with what he hoped looked like sympathy should his miserable brother look his way. He certainly didn't want it to look like the amusement he was actually feeling. Something shimmered inside him as he realised that this affectionate amusement was a far cry from the bitter and superior pleasure he had been taking in his brother's failings these past months, or at least what he had then perceived as failings but was just beginning to learn had been strengths all along. He was both ashamed at his attitude and relieved that he was once again feeling those warm thoughts and feelings that he had taken for granted and nearly lost. Part of him wondered just how he could have gotten so turned around but he was afraid that if he faced those particular questions he might get sucked in again, and even if he hadn't have been terrified at the effect on himself he couldn't risk hurting Dean any more than he already had. His brother needed him more than he ever had before. But he didn't need him to be the big brother, he just needed him to be the Sammy who had loved him all his life. He could do that.

'About time' whispered that persistent little voice in his head and for once Sam wasn't annoyed at it.

Dean finally lifted his head as the cup of herbal tea that Missouri had placed next to him nudged his elbow. He sniffed the watery spicy smell and glared at the offending cup. That was so not fair. Something that foul should make him want to heave but it didn't. It was confirmation that herbal tea was indeed evil. Unfortunately it wasn't something he could salt and burn.

"Does it taste like coffee?" he asked Missouri in a way which he hoped didn't come across as whiny.

"No Dean, it tastes like ginger. And don't whine. A lack of coffee won't kill you."

"Has anyone actually proved that?"

With an encouraging smile from his brother…for which he was so going to pay….when he felt a little less like road kill, and a resigned sigh at Missouri's 'wooden spoon' face, the not so big brave hunter took a cautious sip.

Sam hadn't known that Dean could swear in latin and Spanish, both at the same time. The fact that after forcing down half a cup of the ginger brew he was able to face the toast didn't actually help his mood and Sam was pleased to hear the arrival of the women and Jim. There was strength in numbers after all.

Theoretically.

SpNSpNSpN

Dean sat on the couch, the paleness of his face highlighted by the blond hair, which in turn made the green eyes seem even brighter than normal. Of course that could also be down to the threatening tears. Not that he was upset, well not intellectually, but try convincing his hormones of that, and just when he had felt that he and they had reached some sort of understanding too.

Sam sat and listened as each of the women, excluding Missouri, gave their own little 'this has gone on long enough, now's the time to be sensible' speeches. He could understand that Ellen and Jo were only speaking as women who cared about Dean and didn't want him hurt, but they were obviously also putting forward their own personal beliefs as the only sensible view. And he wouldn't ever criticize that view. He wasn't anti-abortion and he knew for a fact that Dean wasn't either. They just didn't seem to give Dean's own choice any validity. And colour him stupid, but Sam thought the whole idea was the woman's right to choose. Hell, women risked their own health all the time so that their unborn babies could have a chance to survive, even going so far as to refuse life saving medical treatment. Personally he thought that they were the unsung heroes of the world. But for some reason Ellen and Jo were not willing to allow Dean the opportunity to risk his life for an innocent. But why?! It was, after all, something he did every day as a hunter and they didn't try to dissuade him from that.

Suddenly it came to him. And with it came anger. They were not giving Dean the benefit of a woman's choice because they didn't see him as a woman! Did they really think that a man was incapable of loving a child before it was born? Before he could hold it in his arms? Dean loved that unborn baby as much as his female hormones screamed to protect it and it was doing him an injustice to believe otherwise. It was what Dean did, male or female; he protected the innocent, and above all he protected family. Just because his mind was still male was no good reason for the women to take his right to choose away.

Besides it wouldn't work. Sam had to admit that if he were to have to choose between Dean and his unborn child he would choose his brother without hesitation. But he also knew that no amount of badgering or cajoling would get Dean to choose his own life over the baby, no matter how slim it's chance of survival. All Ellen and Jo were doing was make Dean feel bad. And his body was already doing a good enough job of that by itself.

"Enough!"

Missouri had kept quiet through sheer effort as the women described in lurid detail all the things that could go wrong, including his abdomen exploding as the baby failed to fit inside a newly re-established male space which didn't do much for his delicate stomach, or her more robust one she had to admit. Luckily her wooden spoon look worked on women as well as Winchesters and they diverted to other less colourful though just as compelling, and ultimately futile, arguments. In the end, though, Missouri had taken just about as much as she could stand and certainly more than Dean could stand and was about to intervene when Sam, bless his heart, she thought, got there first. Hers, along with all other eyes, including a pair of startled but grateful moist green orbs, turned the younger Winchester's way.

Ellen was not amused. She was certain that they were beginning to get through to the stubborn hunter. The intervention that she and Jo had discussed was the only way that they could think of to make the older Winchester see sense. While neither of them could fault his caring and his bravery they did berate his stubborn martyr complex. They owed it to both John and Mary's memory and the dwindling hunting community to prevent Dean sacrificing himself for an already lost cause. There was no way on earth that this foetus would go to term. It wasn't like the sacrifice he had made to save Sam; that at least had a guaranteed outcome. This was just plain male idiocy. Men didn't seem to realise that having a baby was a practical and potentially dangerous experience with consequences whichever way things turned out. Men who had never experienced fatherhood had a rosy picture of nine months of funny food cravings and a sweet smelling clone of themselves at the end of it whose diapers changed themselves and would automatically grow up to love them unconditionally. Unfortunately Ellen knew different. Life was hard and pregnancy was hard enough when the supernatural wasn't involved. And now to have Sam interfere was the icing on the cake. Honestly! To go from being nasty for the sake of it to being a supportive brother was wonderful but they could do with a little more of sensible and logical Sam and a little less of 'I know my brother's committing suicide but I feel guilty so I'll support him anyway' Sam.

"I said enough" Sam repeated as Ellen looked set to intervene again. And he recognized this for what it was, an intervention, Jim, giving his 'your soul won't suffer because termination is the only possible choice under the circumstances' speech again…and he understood the underlying message in that a lot better now that Dean had explained the whole soul thing to him, and how he hadn't thought of that particular consequence of the spell he still didn't know - unless it came under the same heading as all the other stupid things he's said and done - he would never know. At the end of the day, intervention notwithstanding and no matter how caring the intentions the fact remained that they were upsetting Dean, and nobody had that right…not even little brothers.

"All you are doing is upsetting him. I know" he softened his tone as Jo was about to protest, "that you're only doing this because you love him, but sometimes what we think is best only hurts worse. Dean has made his decision and you should respect it…and if you can't then perhaps you should leave him in the hands of those who do."

Jo was incensed. She had watched spellbound, just a couple of days ago, as Sam tore his brother to pieces just as damn efficiently as the mutt from hell…and now he had the gall to lecture her and her mom on what was best for the misguided and ill informed older hunter. She jumped up and faced off with the younger Winchester. About to protest her actions Dean felt a stilling hand rest on his arm. He looked enquiringly and a little fearfully at Missouri but was reassured by her unflustered expression and the sparkle in her eyes. He realised what she already knew, Sam had to do this himself; had to get used to being himself again. He just wished that two of the only three women in his life could have seen past their own opinions to what he needed. He wasn't stupid. He knew the risks, both before and after the twelve months were up, and it was a risk he was willing to take. He had already thought of ways to minimize the danger at his changing back…not that anyone had bothered asking him, thank you very much; and as for the rest, well it was a risk women took every day. It was a risk Jo might or might not one day choose to take herself. So what right did they have to say that he couldn't. It was almost enough for him to shrug off the psychic's grip but as her grasp tightened slightly in response to the emotions she was sensing he sat back and let his brother speak for him, glad that he once again wanted to.

"Why on earth would anyone in their right mind leave him in your hands!? You only just finished making his life a misery yourself. What gives you the right to lecture to me about the rights and wrongs of this?" an irate Jo complained loudly.

"Because he's a fool who has learned his lesson and despite being scared out of his wits is determined to help his brother, rather than control him, while you and Ellen seem determined to prove that men are from Mars and women are from Venus and that a Y chromosome disqualifies us from understanding about love and sacrifice, that our nature prevents nurture. And all that other philosophical crap."

Caleb had left Bobby to check over the car, which wasn't running smooth enough for the fussy mechanic's liking, Georgia helping by growling at her reflection in the hubcaps. He headed straight for the kitchen to maybe catch a second breakfast of Missouri's to - die - for pancakes. Unfortunately what he heard threatened to give him instant indigestion. About to intervene he stopped, just outside the open doorway, at the sound of Sam's voice. He nodded to himself at the kid's comments. Looked like he was finally getting the point. He certainly deserved the chance to redeem himself, but Jo wasn't giving it to him. He sighed as he slipped unnoticed into the room. He didn't know how Dean managed to keep up this big brother lark. It was exhausting….but pissing off Jo was always fun.

At the end of his little speech, not bad for someone with a pesky Y chromosome, and before either woman could offer up a counter argument or any psychics could threaten him with kitchen implements…after all who knew when Missouri might realize that there were things more intimidating than wooden spoons, like a garlic press…his eyes watered…he seconded Sam's ultimatum.

"Sam's right. Dean would be better off with fewer people who really supported him rather than poisonous doubt being drip fed to him through his pregnancy…however long it lasts."

"Dean?"

Dean looked dazed but at the uncompromising hardness in Jo's eyes and the softer but implacable look in Ellen's as she sought his decision he knew that Caleb was right, not that he'd ever swell the man's already enormous ego by admitting it. As much as he didn't want to put too much of a burden on the others he felt too out of his depth to have to listen to people who might lead him to make decisions that he knew deep down to be wrong for him. And he thought that after all these years of doing what he felt was right for everybody else he deserved to be cut a little slack and be a little selfish…even if that selfishness carried risks with it. With a certainty in his voice that none of them had heard for several days and a tear in his eye because…well just because…damn hormones! He gave Ellen the reply she had been dreading and expecting.

"Sorry Ellen, but I need back-up on this. I know you only want to do what's best but it's not, not for me…or the baby."

Ellen nodded sadly but with acceptance. It was, after all, his right to choose and she had been wrong to think otherwise. Unfortunately Jo was not so easily dissuaded from her course.

"Are you crazy!? You are going to die. Or doesn't that matter to you? Are you so pig headed that you would die just to spite those who know better?"

"JO!" Ellen's command was not one that Jo heard often but she was smart enough to obey it when she did. Ellen turned a cold glare on her and then an apologetic look on the stony faces of the others. "We'll go back to the B&B and pack….but Dean, if ever you need me, I'm just a call away."

Dean nodded, grateful that Ellen hadn't made things difficult and that they would be parting on good terms. He didn't look at Jo as she flounced past but he didn't really harbour a grudge either. Jo was as stubborn as he was but he knew that her anger stemmed from worry. She'd calm down…eventually.

After they heard the door close Dean went to stand but Sam put a restraining hand on his shoulder and turned his attention to Pastor Jim. Whether he agreed with Ellen and Jo or not at least they had argued their case. Jim had said nothing after his pat little speech. He needed to know where all the players stood. He didn't want anyone around his brother who would be bad for him. As the little voice in his head reminded him that Ruby fit that category he mentally side stepped it. He didn't want to deal with that now and he knew that Dean wasn't up to dealing with it either.

"Pastor Jim, you've been quiet. We already know that you're in favour of abortion…."

"No, no I'm not."

Well that was a surprise was the thought that ran through the assembled minds as Jim gave Dean a supportive smile.

"Dean why don't you explain to the others about the soul." Jim hoped that with the knowledge the others would understand about both his own divided feelings and Dean's determination. He could see from the lack of surprise on Sam's face that he had already confided in his brother.

"What's all this about a soul and why did the ladies just hightail it outta here like a poltergeist was on their heels?" Bobby's gruff voice arrived in the room just before he did, Georgia at his side until she spied her filled food bowl. With a check that her human was unharmed she set about devouring her victim - which was already disappointingly dismembered and cooked in gravy, and tasted suspiciously less than human. Perhaps they only had human at special occasions. She could wait.

Caleb quickly filled Bobby in as he washed his hands and took his seat. With a warm, encouraging smile from Sam Dean explained once again about the soul he occupied and the effects his decisions might have on it and then he added,

"But I'm not just doing it because of Deborah, but because I want this. I want the chance to have a child and in this business this might be the only chance I will ever have. And no I wouldn't have chosen this path but I won't deny that I want to see where it goes."

"And that's why I'm not opposed to abortion, both in principal and in Dean's case, the risks are too great to Dean for me to insist on observing the sanctity of life, but it's also why I will support his decision fully" explained Jim as the others recovered from the enormity of Dean's confession and Sam's admittance that he hadn't realised until he had been told either. Jim continued, with a pat on the head for Georgia who had settled between him and Caleb, still not quite willing to trust the big human who hurt his pack-mate enough to sit next to him. She was still close enough to tear out his throat if need be…or if anyone accidentally gave a command that sounded like kill, or possibly maim.

"I know that this pregnancy puts Dean in danger and I feel that it's my duty to point out that the soul will not suffer if he decides to protect his own life first. He too is an innocent in this. He didn't choose to be female." nobody but Missouri saw the regret in Sam's expression at that. "But it is also my duty and a privilege, to support Dean fully in whatever decision he does make. And I'm sure that we'll do all we can to keep him healthy and safe."

"Now someone's talking sense!" Caleb hoped that this would be the end of all the emotional upheaval, though he suspected not. Ruby was still out there after all and he, for one, hadn't forgotten just who was responsible for all this. He looked at Georgia admiringly. She was getting bigger and stronger by the day…and those teeth were a sight to behold.

"So what do we do now?" Bobby brought all their thoughts back to the moment. Dealing with pregnant women wasn't something that was an everyday occurrence in his life.

Missouri knew exactly what to do. She also knew that Dean wouldn't like it.

SpNSpNSpN

"Do I have to?"

Missouri swore that if she heard that come from Dean's lips one more time she would explode.

"Dean!" she warned

"But…"

"It's necessary, now just let's go inside before we attract security. We'll be late as it is."

Sam gave Dean a sympathetic smile and prodded him gently in the direction of the revolving doors of the clinic.

Missouri and Sam stared at each other and Sam had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing at the look on the psychic's face. He wisely refrained from comment as he re-entered the door and made another circuit, grabbing hold of and, this time, keeping a tight grip on his cowardly brother.

Dean had the good grace to blush as Missouri gave the attempted escapee a slap upside the head and pushed him towards the desk.

One good thing about being late reflected Missouri as the nice, friendly nurse led a reluctant Dean away to a room was that it left no waiting time.

One bad thing about being late reflected Dean as the hatchet faced harridan of a nurse dragged him toward a torture chamber, was that it didn't leave any time to escape your fate.

Sam and Missouri waited in the lounge area. Both had offered to accompany the terrified Winchester but he had refused, whether from embarrassment or a determination to be brave they weren't sure. Sam fidgeted as he read the posters that adorned the walls, each one telling him something new that Dean hadn't done that he should have - would not taking folic acid supplements make a difference? Or telling him that they were going to have to do something that Dean would kill them for…well, he mused as he scanned one poster with a blush…at least they wouldn't have to worry about breast feeding…would they!?

As Missouri was making a mental note of baby magazine titles that she should buy and Sam was having an internal breakdown over breast milk they were both startled by a sudden loud scream, which was soon followed by a blond lightning streak, holding tight to the back of her gown, heading straight for them with the nurse and an amused but concerned female doctor trailing in her wake.

Dean came to a halt in front of his brother and the woman he had started to think of as a surrogate mother and pulling himself up to his full five feet one and a half inches - he'd measured - he flung his arm back toward the two medical personnel, finger pointing accusingly.

"Th….they, she…she wanted me to…..and then that one tried to….It's, it's INDECENT!"

Sam doubled up with laughter and didn't even feel the slap to his head from Missouri who was trying her best to keep her own giggles in check. She understood, she really did…but he looked so adorably outraged as he pointed at the doctor and nurse who waited patiently, having seen just about everything in their time.

"Oh baby!" was her only comment as she moved forward to take him in hand. She didn't dare tell him that this was only the beginning.

TBC

A/N Hope you enjoyed. Poor Dean! I'm glad that I'm not the maternal type. Lol. Also apologies for late update but RL just won't stand in line and wait it's turn.