DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS
Pacifica found Dipper writing on the old granola bar wrappers. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"What, oh I'm just making notes about the vampires we met," Dipper said. "Just want to do this while it's still fresh in my memory for when I get my book back."
"You are such a nerd," Pacifica laughed.
"You mean like those vampires?" Dipper asked cynically.
"No those guys were dorks, you are a nerd. Big difference." Pacifica insisted.
"How so?" Dipper asked interested in seeing how she thinks.
"If I had to explain it to you that will make you a dork as well," Pacifica teased. Dipper shook his head in disapproval, putting the wrappers inside his pocket. The two continued on until they discovered a field with several stone statues. "What is all this?" Pacifica wondered.
"Well judging by all these statues it's possible this may have been some kind of sacred Indian grounds," Dipper figured. "Or an eccentric artist living somewhere around here."
"What are the chances that this artist might help get back to town?" Pacifica wondered.
"Can't say for sure, but look at these statues." Dipper instructed. "They all have this expression of fear and terror. If I were to profile. I'd say that this guy might be a death artist."
"A death artist?"
"Someone who uses death as the theme for their art," Dipper explained.
"And let me guess, they are also psychos," Pacifica huffed.
"I wouldn't go that far but some have been known to kill their models just to get that look of fright just right," Dipper said.
"I think you watch way too much Duck-tective." Pacifica sighed. "But why would he leave his statues out here, why not keep them in his house or something?"
Dipper pondered that for a minute. "Maybe it's not an artist. Maybe there's a monster here with a gorgon stare," he joked. Suddenly Pacifica slapped him across the face. "HEY!" he protested only to his surprise see her trembling.
"This is no time to be joking like that!" she shuddered.
"Pacifica, what's wrong?" Dipper asked. He has never seen her afraid before.
"What's wrong? I've been kidnapped by gnomes, played dungeons and dragons with vampires, and had one of my parties nearly ruined by gremlins! So the last thing I want is for a Medusa turning into the most beautiful stone statue!" she ranted as tears began coming out of her eyes.
Seeing her crying triggered a long forgotten memory of Mabel crying and how he swore that day that he would do everything in his power to make sure that his sister never cries again! For reason unknown he felt compelled to do the same thing for her. Pulling out a handkerchief he proceeded to wipe the tears from her face. "Don't worry, no I'll protect you no matter what," Dipper reassured her. "Uh-oh," he gulped realizing that he just smeared her makeup.
"What's wrong?" Pacifica asked.
"Uh," Dipper hesitated saying anything, afraid of angering her.
Pacifica eyed him suspiciously when she noticed the smear on the handkerchief. "My makeup!" she yelled reaching into her pockets. "Oh no this can't be happening! This can't be happening! It can't be gone!"
"What's wrong?" Dipper asked.
"My compact mirror is missing! I can't have lost it! This is your fault!" Pacifica screamed.
"Sorry about that," Dipper apologized preparing for her wrath. But Pacifica just stood there frozen in shock. "You know I'm sure you'll actually look cuter without all that makeup," Dipper said hoping to cheer her up.
"Do you really think I'm cute?" Pacifica cried.
"I've always preferred the natural look," Dipper said as he continued to wipe off the makeup. "There," he said as he finished. "You look...Wow," Dipper gulped finding himself unable to finish.
"Well tell me?" Pacifica feeling a little irritated at his hesitation. Before he could say anything they heard some rustling in the bushes. "What was that?" Pacifica cringed grabbing hold of Dipper.
"I'm sure it's nothing," Dipper stuttered trying to put on a brave face. Carefully approaching the bushes, Dipper poke it with a stick. A second later a couple of bunnies leaped out of the bushes, startling Dipper.
"Don't worry I think they're harmless," Pacifica teased.
"I wasn't scared," Dipper insisted. Then two giant figures came walking out of the same bushes. "Ok now I'm scared," he admitted. The pair stared up at what looked like two gorillas in samurai armor.
"You know most moneys can't pull the whole ancient warrior look but guys make it work," Pacifica smiled hoping to flatter them. But the gorillas seemed to take offense at her statement and roared right at her face.
"Pacifica I know this isn't the right time to tell you but monkeys and gorillas are two different species," Dipper lectured.
"Really? Huh no wonder I failed that animal test." Pacifica commented as the two gorillas grabbed the kids and carried them off. "Well Mr. Mystery Twin minus one, any idea where they might be taking us?" Pacifica asked.
"I'm still trying to figure out what are two gorillas wearing Japanese summerween costumes are doing here," Dipper said. The two remained quiet the rest for the rest of the trip until the gorillas dropped them off at a villa. "I guess this is where we meet the Shogun," Dipper said as they entered the cottage.
Inside they were surprised to see that it looked more like a laboratory with several stone statues. In the center of the room was a lone figure talking to one of the statues. "Oh you're back! Did you find it?" the figure asked excitedly as she danced over towards them. "Wait these are just two kids!" she said sounding disappointed. "Oh but where are my manners. Are you kids hungry?"
"Yes Mam," the two kids said at the same time. Their host smiled gently taking them into the kitchen.
-Later after Lunch-
"Oh it is so nice to have company. But what are you kids doing out here?" she asked.
"Well Ms. uh,"
"Amy, Amy Hall." she introduced herself.
"Amy Hall," Pacifica pondered. "Why does that name sound familiar?"
"I'm Dipper Pines and this is Pacifica Northwest." Dipper introduced.
"I can tell her my own name thank you very much," Pacifica sniped when she noticed the plushie around Amy's neck. "Oh by the way Ms. Hall..."
"Just call me Amy," Amy insisted.
"Alright Amy, but is that a Cuddle Buddy?" Pacifica asked.
"Oh yes this is my favorite, the Otterfly!" Amy said hugging the little stuffed animal.
"Cuddle Buddies," Dipper said in confusion. "I thought they discontinued those toys years ago."
"They did after some crazy mad scientist went nuts with them," Pacifica said shaking her head. "Leave it to one nutjob to ruin it for the rest of us."
"That's right blame the one true fan for ruining everything!" Amy ranted.
"Amy, cuddle buddies, mad scientist," Pacifica finally put the last piece in. "You're DNAmy!"
"DNAmy?" Dipper gasped. "Who's DNAmy?"
"Oh I'm just the world's leading bio-geneticist and avid collector of Cuddle Buddies," Amy said hugging her Otterfly.
"Who also tried to crossbreed different species to create real life cuddle buddies," Pacifica added.
"Wow you are crazy," Dipper said. "But how did you know all that Pacifica?"
"I was part of the Kim Possible fan club back when Kim Style was popular," Pacifica explained.
"Oh right that teen super hero," Dipper recalled Mabel telling him about her sometime ago. "So I take it those two gorilla things are your handy work?"
"Oh yes," Amy admitted.
"And these stone statues are also part of your twisted schemes," Dipper accused.
"In a way yes," Amy said without hesitation.
"Well we're not going to be part of your crazy experiments!" Dipper declared stepping in front of Pacifica and holding his spoon out in a threatening manner.
"Oh don't worry dearies," Amy laughed. "I'm not going to experiment on you. I'm just here looking for a cockatrice."
"A cockatrice?" Dipper said reaching in his vest for his absent book.
"You know that half lizard half chicken thing," Pacifica explained.
"I know that but how did you?" Dipper asked.
"Just because I'm beautiful and rich doesn't mean I'm stupid," Pacifica scoffed.
"Yeah I'm starting to see that now," Dipper said with deep admiration. Pacifica blushed as Dipper's sudden confession.
"Aw you two are so adorable," Amy squealed. "It almost makes sorry to this!" Snapping her fingers and the gorillas grabbed Pacifica and locked her in a cage.
"Hey let her go!" Dipper dived in trying to fight the gorillas only to be knocked on his butt.
"There's no need for that," Amy chuckled. "I'm just going to hold her here until you get me the cockatrice."
"Why don't you send your goon squad," Dipper sneered.
"I did but the can't tell a chicken from bunny," Amy shook her head. "That's why I need someone with brains to lead them."
"And your hold Pacifica hostage until I do," Dipper finished.
"Yup, anyway you should be find some in the clearing just east of here. But be careful, the last six guys I sent there never came back." Amy said. Dipper gulped remembering seeing some stone humans on the way here.
"No Dipper don't go!" Pacifica begged. "If you get turned into stone then how am I going to get home!"
"Nice to see you care," Dipper sulked. "Don't worry, I've been in tougher jams."
"Tougher jams," Pacifica scoffed. "Who taught you how to speak, that loud mouth uncle of yours." Dipper sighed sadly as he left. "Just come back to me," Pacifica whispered.
Dipper and the gorillas made their way back to the field where Dipper found those statues. "Hard to believe that these guys used to be flesh and blood huh," Dipper turned to the gorillas who just stared blankly at him. "You guys don't say much do you. That already makes you better conversationalist than Pacifica," Dipper joked. Returning back to the spot where the statues were he saw something rustling in the bushes again. Tiptoeing towards the bushes he signaled the gorillas to move in.
As they closed in, a little bird's head popped out of the bushes. "AAAaahhh!" Dipper screamed startled by the fowl's sudden appearance. "Hey there little guy, you wouldn't be some kind of mythological monster would you?" Dipper asked holding out some bread crumbs he saved from lunch to use for bait. The bird looked at the crumbs curiously. It look like it was going to take the bait, but then the gorillas charged in trying to grab the bird. Reacting to this sudden hostilities, the bird shot a beam of light from it's eyes turning one of the gorillas into stone. Stepping out of the bushes, Dipper saw it was indeed half bird half lizard! "I guess you are the mythological creature we were looking for," Dipper said. After turning the other gorilla into stone the cockatrice turned it's attention on Dipper. "I don't suppose you can just let me go and we'll forget the whole thing." Dipper pleaded nervously slowly backing away, until he tripped on some roots and fell down. The cockatrice screeched loudly before charging straight at him! Desperately Dipper began hurling rocks at the bird/lizard to no avail. As the cockatrice got closer it's eyes began glowing. Dipper frantically searched around trying to find something anything that can help him. That's when he picked up this strange object. Having no time to identify it, Dipper closed his eyes and held the object in front of him hoping to shield himself from being petrified!
He heard the cockatrice squawking in terror then silence. Dipper carefully open his eyes and saw that the monster bird itself is now stone. Checking out the item in his hands, he saw small circular purple mirror with the initials P.N. on it. "Huh, I guess this is Pacifica's compact." Dipper said placing it in his pocket, pleasantly surprised and grateful over the turn of events. As Dipper carried his quarry back to the lab, the petrified cockatrice started twitching.
-Later at Amy's lab-
"Here's your cockatrice," Dipper said bursting in. "Now let Pacifica go!"
"Oh goody," Amy cheered. "But where are my gorillas?"
"Lawn ornaments," Dipper answered.
"I see," Amy sighed sadly as she opened the cage. "So where is it?" Dipper presented the stone lizard/bird. "What no! I needed it alive!"
"Sorry but that was the best I could do," Dipper said not sounding the least bit apologetic.
"How did you do that?" Pacifica asked sounding very impressed.
"In a way it was thanks to you," Dipper said returning her compact.
"My compact!" Pacifica squealed gazing at her reflection. But started feeling depressed seeing how bland she looked without her makeup.
"You see I told you that you'd look better without all that makeup," Dipper said honestly.
Pacifica blushed at his comment. "That's just because you prefer the natural look." Remembering what he said earlier. The two drew closer towards each other, until the mood was disrupted by Amy's irksome crying.
"Oh Monty I failed you!" Amy cried.
"Who's Monty?" Dipper said out loud.
"My dear sweet'ums," Amy said showing him a picture of Monkey Fist. "He was turned to stone by a magic monkey's curse. I was hoping to study the cockatrice to see if I can find a way to reverse it."
"Yeah well good luck with that," Dipper said unsympathetically. "We're leaving!" he said grabbing Pacifica's arm.
"I'm sorry but I can't just let you leave. You know me being a criminal and all." Amy giggled as several hybrid monsters surrounded them.
"Yeah I figured," Dipper smiled as he started to countdown. "3...2...1...Duck!" he yelled pushing Pacifica down to the floor. At the same time the cockatrice came back to life and started blasting everywhere turning all the genetic freaks into stone. "Ok that's enough," Dipper ordered. The cockatrice stopped it's attack with only itself, Dipper, Pacifica, and Amy still flesh and blood.
"What just happened?" Pacifica demanded. "How did you tame that thing?"
"Simple, after I caught him I gave him some breadcrumbs and he became quite obedient." Dipper explained giving the cockatrice more bread.
"Bu, bu, but it was stone before," Amy insisted.
"Yes but these creatures can turn others into stone. So naturally they have a way to turn back if the need arises." Dipper pointed out.
"Can it restore others as well," Amy asked.
"Of course. I already had him changed the other animals in the forest back. Go ahead little guy." Dipper said scratching under it's neck. The cockatrice started crowing; soon all of Amy's genetic creations reverted back to life. "Okay unless you want to be turned back into stone I suggest you leave!" Dipper demanded holding the cockatrice above his head! The animals screamed in terror and ran out as quickly as possible.
"Now why did you go and do that...You're going to help her aren't you!" Pacifica facepalmed herself.
"Really?" Amy said in disbelief.
"Yes but you have to promise to help us get back to Gravity Falls," Dipper demanded.
"Of course," Amy promised.
"Great but try and trick us then you're going to be a statue right next to your precious Monkey Fist!" Dipper warned pointing the cockatrice like it was a weapon. Amy led them to her secret room where she kept the stone statue of Monkey Fist. Dipper again scratched the cockatrice's neck triggering it to crow. Everyone held their breath waiting to see if it would work, but nothing happened.
"Why didn't it work?" Pacifica wondered.
"Probably because he was turned to stone by a different kind of magic," Dipper figured.
"Oh Monty my poor sweet darling," Amy cried hugging the statue. As her tears landed on the statue, it started to move.
"Uh, wha where am I? What happen? Yono! When I get my hands on him I'll..." Monkey Fist rambled.
Monty! You're back to normal!" Amy cheered. "It took me a long time and a lot of research, but I finally turned you back into a human/monkey thing!"
"What? NNNNOOOOooooo!" Monty screamed trying to get out of her grip. "Get away from me!" Monkey Fist using his monkey like reflexes scurried out of the lab and into the woods!
"You're not getting away this time!" Amy swore, jumping into her jeep and driving after him.
"That was just sick and wrong," Dipper said shaking his head.
"I'd say it's wrong sick," Pacifica putting her two cents in.
"Yeah let's just get out of here," Dipper suggested.
"Right, but wait wasn't she suppose to give us a ride?" Pacifica remembered.