Twilight Romeo & Juliet: Jacob Black, seriously?
Chapter Fourteen: My Last Thoughts
I was walking with Leslie (whom I hadn't talked to in forever) in the middle of the road. We were chatting about the usual stuff, not like there was any, but I was desperate to make these few conversations with her last. For perhaps that these few minutes or who knew how long that I would spend with Leslie were about to be cut short.
For my decision might affect our friendship forever.
Believe me; I have given Jacob's offer my full attention the last couple days. I've run threw the pros and cons, all the possibilities of how it would concern people, how it the community would respond to our disappearance, poor Meredith … Alex, Leslie, all my friends. But every thought came to the same conclusion: if I didn't leave, I'd lose Jacob.
As we ambled on, Leslie and I, she kept on babbling about her new boyfriend, James. Her natural bubbliness, which I would miss, was shining through her I-don't-care façade. It was just Leslie.
"Yeah, did you hear Alex might dump Mike? They were like, perfect for each other," she sounded bummed. If you really saw how awkward it was with each other, then you'd understand why they were breaking up, I didn't say that out loud.
"Hm … no, I hadn't, until you told me …"
"I know, right?" she paused, anticipating my reaction. Leslie was like the eyes and ears of Forks. She knew EVERYTHING before it had even slipped from the gossipers mouths. "How are you and Jacob?" she figured she must get it first person, and then pass it on, straight from the horse's mouth.
"We … are, uh, doing good," I stuttered. I was never the one to speak about my relationship status.
"Oh, c'mon, Ami! You're love life has to have a little bit more spark than that!" Ugh. She was correct. It did.
"It does … he met my Mom last night," I said glumly.
"Ooh! Tell me everything, from beginning 'till end!" she gushed with enthusiasm.
Her curiosity literally fed off the juicy stories I filled her with. I rambled on as we walked, from every last detail of our first kiss to what was going on right now, excluding the running away plan. I sighed at the thought. I still had to tell Jacob.
"What have you been up to lately?" I asked sorrowfully.
"Not much. Shit, it's 6:03. I need to head home this instant," Leslie looked up urgently from the glowing light that was occupying her hands. Her cell phone said so. I guess she had to leave then.
"Oh, well … I'll walk home with you," I seriously had no clue where she lived. No that I realized it, I seriously no clue about where I was. Dayum.
"No, it's fine. My house isn't far from here. Bye, Ami! I love you!" Leslie hugged me briefly.
"Love you, too, Les," I hugged her back.
Leslie waved over her shoulder, and ran across the rest of the darkening street. I just stood there, like a moron, the tears pouring down my face, without warning. I didn't even bother wiping them away.
If this hurt to leave everybody else I cared about so much, then why was I going? Why was I running away with Jacob? Because I am selfish, and I could never dream of losing my Jacob.
Then I sauntered away from where Leslie had been standing.
I was noiselessly crying as I walked back to no where. I didn't care that I had no fucking idea where I was headed. Nothing seemed to matter right now. Before I knew it, I had walked more than I don't know how many blocks, but I was in a totally different court now. I was lost. The sun was setting now; I could barely see it anymore. The streetlights flickered to life, illuminating the roads with a yellow-y light.
My first reaction was to cry harder. Perfect.
My second assumption was to use my cell phone in my back pocket and call someone to pick me up. Perfect (no sarcasm.)
I hurriedly dug into my pockets, combing for my cellular device. It had to be lurking somewhere. My life depended on its reliability. Not really. It would reveal whether or not I would be raped by some unknown stranger. Highly unlikely. Okay, now I was just scaring my self.
Eventually, my trembling fingers discovered the metallic texture of my life-saver. I wasn't sure why I was getting so worked up over something that was so benign.
Despite my shaky fingers (more from crying rather than dismay), I operated my phone decent-enough to manipulate it to get the Contacts. I knew two people who could get me: one person who could drive legally, and the other person I was madly in love with, and could drive, but not legally. Yet.
My best bet would be … sigh, Meredith. As long as I got home, I was okay with whoever took me home. That is, whoever I wanted to drive me home. I'm not some desperate child, looking for some pedophile to take me home. Uh-uh. That's so not going down in my books.
The screen flashed to Speed Dials. I scrolled down through the five names I had on there frantically. Wow.
"Ami, where are you?" Meredith demanded into the phone.
"Yes, Mom, it's me," I tried not to sob into the speaker, "I got lost. Can you come and get me?" So far, I was successful in not allowing my voice crack and get thick on me – again.
"How'd you manage that?" she asked, bewildered.
"Long story short. I'm on 7th street, hurry up please. It's getting kinda creepy out here," I pleaded.
"I'll be right there."
"Oh, and Mom? Can we pop over by Jacob's place? Need to tell him something," I asked.
"Sure – what's that?" Meredith wondered.
"Confidential. My lips are sealed, sorry, Mom," I swore I'd never reveal what plan was being planned. I also owed that to Jacob.
"Whatever," I knew she'd be rolling her eyes.
Click.
I slid my phone shut. Sigh. Crossing my legs, I sat down on the concrete, on the edge of the sidewalk.
It was really dark now. Only the streetlights lit everything now. No more assistance from the Sun. Every sudden sound I thought I heard made me jump. It was creepy and eerie.
The seconds dragged on.
Meredith drove by quickly and did a U-turn when she saw me sitting down. Phew. I got up and sauntered over to the little Audi we owned. I briskly wiped at the fresh tears, hopefully Meredith wouldn't notice my wet cheeks.
Meredith turned around in her seat, as I got into the back. "Are you okay, sweetheart?"
"Yes, M-Mom," my voice broke. Fack.
"It's alright. Put you're face on, we're headed to Jacob's, just like you wished," Meredith grumbled the last part.
"Jacob doesn't care if I look like crap," I snapped.
Meredith stroked my hand, which was resting on my lap. I had to admit, after all the moping I'd done today, it felt nice.
"I was scared, Mom," I breathed deeply, staring out the window.
"I know you were," Meredith then completely turned in her seat, a full 180 degrees, and took my hand in hers, and squeezed it. Just like Jacob would do to comfort me. I suddenly remembered that this might be the last mother-daughter moment I would share with Meredith, until I'd be hopefully reunited with her later on. Painful remorse flooded through me. I squeezed her hand, unhesitatingly feeling regret for so much hurt I would inflict on my mother. I hated my self for being so selfish, and cruel.
"I love you, Mom. Always have, and always will," I promised.
"…? That was random, sweetie. I love you, too, Ami. You're my everything," she promised. Huh. Funny how I couldn't say the same about her. About how I was 'her everything'. He was my everything, now.
This sadistic conversation (for me, that is) passed time slowly. Good. I wanted as much time possible for Meredith. Or, it obviously did not take very much time to reach Jacob's. Whoop-dee-doo.
Meredith stopped outside his house. The lights were on in the front room, I suspected Jake was still awake.
I strode over to the front door, being cautious, as to not wake anyone with my anxious, loud footsteps. I pathetically knocked on the door. The peeling paint fell in little sprinkles to my feet. Oops. Hearing the limp footfalls of somebody, I knew then on that it would have to be Jacob, as Billy couldn't walk anymore. Billy had the spirit and the zest to; just his body wouldn't permit it.
Jacob peeked through the curtained windows, and recognizing who it was waiting there, he pranced over to welcome me in.
"Hey, Ami," Jacob greeted me cheerfully, taking my hand and steering me into his crammed living room. I felt Meredith's hawk eyes follow me right up to the point until I was inside, then she cut me some.
I stretched up to kiss Jacob, as usual – but I held up. The frenzy of wild, crazy butterflies was too overwhelming. I'd need to get this off my chest, to notify of my choosing, to tell him of the seemingly 'good news'.
"Hey, Jake. The reason I'm here is because …" I lowered my voice to a whisper, "I've … how do I put this without sounding corny … well …"
"You've determined if you're leaving with me or not?" Jacob said bleakly.
He sniggered darkly.
"… Hm … yes, you could put it like that."
"So, what is it? What have you decided that is so important that you put off kissing me 'hello'?" he laughed again, less forced this time around.
"Yes … I'm coming with you, Jacob," I said, masking my sorrow. I absolutely hated hurting Jacob.
The elation that flitted across his face hit me like a tidal wave. I melted.
"Okay." His smile was so big; it stretched from ear to ear. That's another good thing about Jacob. No matter what, he perpetually a happy person. God, the terrible things this boy could make you commit if he desired. Meredith deserved so much than this, I thought for the hundredth time. Leslie did, Alex did … I was just one humungous let down. I was a lousy friend. One huge embarrassment as a daughter. The humiliation everyone would suffer.
Jacob saw my misery, and pressurized my hand; just like Meredith had done earlier … it all came back to Jacob.
"I'm fine, Jacob," I swiped once more with the back of my free hand at the fat tears that had betrayed me previously.
"Don't cry, Ami. You don't have to come with me if you're going to have to endure this," Jacob assured me with a sympathetic tone of voice.
"No! I want to!" I lied. "I love you too much, Jacob Black," I gazed at him against blurry eyes.
"I love you too much, Ami Forbes, but if it hurts you to go, then I won't make you," Jacob said.
"Jacob, I'm coming," I said, unyielding.
"Fine. I'm not letting you beat yourself up. This is all on my," he kissed my forehead and hugged me.
"Deal," I moaned, exhaustedly into his shoulder.
"Okay. Hey, I heard you're birthday's comin' up."
"So is yours."
"We can have a jointed party. Just the two of us."
"Sounds like a plan," I said tonelessly.
"You need to go to bed," he told me, twirling me around and driving me towards the door. He was right; again, I was overtired. That was how Jacob was, always tending to everyone else's needs before his.
"'Night, Jacob. Er—when are we leaving?" I implored.
"Tomorrow night," he replied.
"Oh. Call me, 'kay? I require much more information," I responded.
"Right. Well, 'night, Ami. I love you, see you tomorrow," he kissed me good night, replacing what I had neglected to do.
"Love you, too, Jacob," I said gently.
And I was once again, moving companionless in the shower of mid-summer rain.